NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Mark
-
Posts
68 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Mark
-
-
That moment when you've spent close to half an hour typing out a post only to close the page by mistake...
Things are going well for the most part. My battle against internet procrastination is very much ongoing. There have been days in which I have failed to manage my time spent browsing, but rather than dwell on this, I feel it important to learn what lessons I can from these failures and move on, while focusing more on the days in which I have succeeded.
I hope everybody is doing well, it is my intention to interact on the site more in the coming week, so I'll catch everyone later
-
Day 90 - DONE IT!
-
I recently reached 90 days and my cravings and emotional agitation are actually similar to what I had in the beginning of my detox. I had not yet decided whether to game again or try the moderation thing. I feel like mmorpgs are over for me as that is my lost life game of choice and maybe I can do some consoles games. In my opinion nothing is inherently wrong with games if used for entertainment and do not interfere with life. Obviously, I am here cause that was not true for me. Anyway, I am choosing to not game at this time of my recently over detox because I am not in control of my emotions. Not entirely sure what is happening in my head, the double down effect though true does not resonate. My thoughts are that somehow the 90 day detox was a goal in my head but not a permanent life style change and I am now grappling with the the fact that serious gaming is not coming back in my life.
If you have identified MMORPG's as a problem, then you are doing right in staying away from them. Playing games in the same manner that one did before the detox, but simply with the intention of playing less, is a plan that is almost certainly doomed to fail in the long run. That's just the opinion I've built up over the course of my detox and from past attempts to moderate my playtime.
Respect to @Cam Adair for the way he gets his point across both in this video and in others. I like the fact that he gives his opinion on the subject, but it's not forced down your throat that this is what you must do!
-
Framework
That was a lot. But, I have a second topic for today as well. Back to foundation habits and projects. A Tim Ferriss question that's been stuck in my head lately because of how brilliant it is: "What would this look like if it were easy?" For me, easy often means simple. It's very easy to overcomplicate things in our lives, which makes them unsustainable. Last night I sketched a simple framework for tracking habits and projects that I'm working on in my life right now. This is itself an experiment for me. Here's what I have:
Foundation Standard Goal Sleep 8 hours / night Waking up feeling rested with enough energy for the whole day Meditation Everyday Being focused and present throughout the day Exercise BJJ 3x / week Get my first White Belt stripe, stay in shape, build confidence Food Eat Slow-carb Feeling healthy, cooking rather than eating out The Foundation is what you're working on. The Goal is what you want to experience in life. The Standard is what you have to commit to and apply to get to the goal. The Standard is the part that needs to be as simple as possible, and it should be measurable and easy enough that it's sustainable. As an example, keeping sleep to a simple 8 hours a night is simple because it's just 8 hours, no exceptions. Not, "7-8 hours" - that results in me getting 6 hours 45 minutes and saying "close enough" when it's definitely insufficient for me. Even though I actually sometimes need 9 hours, it's difficult for me to consistently do that, so I'll aim for 8, which is sustainable for me and works with my schedule.
For meditation, it's even simpler. My measurement is a simply a binary pass/fail. Did I do it? Pass. Did I not do it? Fail. Not, "meditate for 20 minutes everyday in the morning" or fail. That's my ideal, but even though I make meditation a part of my morning routine, sometimes I will wake up late despite my best efforts and not have time to meditate then. So, I'll find time at lunch or in the evening, and I can still feel like I'm succeeding - which I am, if I do it. It's more difficult to sustain a habit if you feel like you're failing at it, and feeling that you're failing because you're not consistently measuring up to what's ideal for you is going to set you up to fail, in my opinion. Thus dialing back your standard to what is truly, actually "good enough" or realistic is a good way to build momentum and feel like you're winning the day. You might ask, what about depth? Like, according to this I could meditate for 1 minute a day and still succeed. True. While meditating for longer periods is obviously beneficial, I think that this naturally happens once you get the habit happening consistently. You don't need to force yourself to meditate for X minutes - too much work, too much forcing yourself to do stuff with willpower. Exhausting. Just do the thing and don't stress about the details too much. You'll enjoy it more and naturally do longer sessions as you notice benefits. You'll do more because you want to, not because you think you have to.
Finally, this same framework will work for projects; examples:
Project Standard Goal Podcasting Create 1 episode/week Creative expression, community feedback, personal growth, enjoyment Coaching with Cam Meet with Cam 1/week Continuous personal development, with specific subgoals
Phew. That's all I have for now. Have a great day everyone.
I just wanted to say that this really struck a chord with me. During this detox some of the simple targets I have set for myself, at least that's what they appeared to be, where in actual fact lacking clarity. I might have to nab this framework for myself!
-
Both yourself and @kortheo make some great points. I'm going to discontinue counting the days for the time being. I have updated my first post that now details the start and end of my 90-day detox, because both dates are significant personal milestones, but I don't want the number to have more emphasis than it should have, and like Travis said, to define me in some way.
-
The timing of you uploading this video and where I'm at in my journey couldn't be more apt
100% agree with what you said however. I feel like I'm being careful, and as stated in my journal, I'm going to spend some time processing the feelings I got from gaming again, both positive and negative.
-
Wooo Good job bro!
Proud of ya! What you said is so true on so many levels too, everyone's journey is different and it's down to the individual to recognise his/her situation.
Congratulations on completing your detox!
Congrats congrats!!! You made it!
Cheers guys!
Congratulations man, a lot of what you said really struck a chord with me.
The detox has been easy for me as well, and in the last couple weeks it's become more and more apparent to me that gaming on it's own wasn't the source of all my problems.
In the last year or so it had become somewhat of a problem for me, but I thought that giving it up would make me get up and do what I need to do. but that hasn't been the case at all. While I'm proud of myself to a degree that I've come this far, I still have a lot to learn about living in the real world.
I still intend to meet you at the finish line, so don't worry about that!
Best of luck moving forward friend!
I'm glad that you can relate to some degree. I hope to see you at the finish line as well, although it doesn't end there, we must continue to move forward, continue to learn
I have played video games in the past week, but I will not go into detail about that, I want to spend some time processing the feelings that I got from the experience, but also, I don't see how it would benefit those who were reading it.
For now, I would define a relapse for myself to be the loading and playing of a multiplayer game. I'm not sure whether I should continue to count the days post-detox, or whether @Cam Adair would prefer me not to, as by the standard definition, I'm not completely game-free.
The past week has been a frustrating one. I had a difficult week at work, and a back injury prevented me from going to the gym. I managed to salvage the situation Sunday and yesterday by having a couple of productive rest days. Speaking of productivity...
Post Detox Goal #1: Internet Procrastination
I have talked previously about setting some targets for myself post-detox, some of which may relate to gaming, while some may have no connection whatsoever. Internet procrastination has come up in my journal before, suffice to say it's a major problem for me, so I am going to implement the following rules...
1. No browsing of the internet on my computer/phone in the morning. I cannot log on until I've competed my normal morning routine (showered, dressed, made the bed, had breakfast etc.)
2. No browsing of the internet on my computer/phone after 9pm. As stated, after that time, I will go to bed, read a book, whatever, but no more time browsing.
3. Set an alarm on my phone to go off after a certain time to limit my internet browsing.
If anybody has got any suggestions regarding the tackling of my internet procrastination, then feel free to let me know!
-
Day 90;
My 90-day detox is complete! I have a few thoughts on my mind that I'd like to share, some of which may come in another post, anyway...
Firstly, @Ironfly, @Danielk, @Primmulla, @WorkInProgress, @Merdoc_Rowboat, @Falky, @Dannigan (I know there are others, apologies if I didn't tag you!), I'd like to thank those who I have interacted with over the course of my detox, be it in my journal, or on other parts of the site, all of whom have been supportive of myself and others, and come across as genuinely nice people. Last but certainly not least, a big thank you to @Cam Adair for creating this amazing site, dedicating so much of his time into helping others. I'm so glad to see that his little part of the internet is getting bigger and bigger (seriously, the rate of growth from when I first joined to now is ridiculous!).
Coming into this detox, I was coming into it from a slightly different angle than someone like Cam for example, who was spending so many hours a day, everyday, playing video games. Over the years my average playing time gradually reduced to a couple of hours every day, with the occasional binge of 5/6 hours, which in itself had become a rarity. That being said however, I am in no doubt that I showed symptoms of addictions when playing certain genres of games, notably multiplayer shooters. Thankfully, I haven't touched Left 4 Dead 2 and Team Fortress 2 for two and four-years respectively, and this detox has helped me to ascertain that online games of this ilk are a problem for me, and I will not return to playing them, period. I don't even want to play these games again, which is a great feeling in itself.
Something which has troubled me in its own weird way over the course of this detox, is that I found it quite easy to complete, easy to the point that it raises more questions than it answers. It was long yes, and the temptation to play was present in occasional moments of boredom, but I didn't crave it, I wasn't desperate, I never felt in danger of relapsing. I've gradually weened myself off gaming over the years through various means to get to the point to where I was at the start of the detox, and I have to believe this partly explains why the detox wasn't that difficult for me personally.
It is my intention to return to gaming in some capacity, but it will only be single-player games, and I will be very particular about which games I do play. I will not moderate in the sense that I will allocate a set number of hours each day/week to play. I will not play for the sake of playing, that is when it becomes a negative habit. My future presence on this site will focus more on other aspects of my life that I wish to change, and to respond to other topics which I feel I can contribute to, but I will continue to monitor any time I dedicate to game, self-awareness is key. I will be sure to act on the first sign that gaming is having a negative impact on my life again. For now, gaming will be nothing more than an occasional hobby I pick up.
Something that I feel like I can't stress enough. Please don't use my experience to justify your gaming habits, not only is everybody's situation unique, but there is every chance that I might be full of horse shit! Only time will tell on that one.
Whether you are/were playing for 16 hours a day, or a couple of hours a day, if you are on this site as a registered user or as a lurker, something has clicked in your brain to tell you that something isn't quite right in your relationship with gaming. Whether you want to quit playing video games forever, or whether you want to moderate your playing time. Take a break, not for a couple of days, not for a couple of weeks, do your utmost to complete the whole detox. This allows you time to become aware of other aspects of your life, to reflect on your gaming habits, and to see how you can improve as a person. What is involved in that? Complete the detox and find out!
-
Day 94 (No Fap 70)
I came back from my conference yesterday. When I got home around 10:00PM I decided to watch a video game trailer. Which lead to 3 1/2 hours of wasted time. Today too I spent about an hour reading some video game related info and watching gameplay. All this shows there is no way I can go back to gaming and just need to stay away from it as far as possible. With this occurrence of these events i listed above occurred because I didn't put any effort to prevent myself. I just sat in there and didn't even get up. I know that I'am passionate about video games, but just need to realize that can't be part of my life anymore if I want to move on to the next chapter of my life and be more responsible & independent. Also maybe this occurred because I was being prideful when, instead I should be more humble and thankful that each day of being video game free is a big blessing for me.
With all that said I'm currently at school researching an essay I need to work on over what I learned in my linguistics class. Once that gets finished I hope to work on my writing skills over the summer. I hope everyone is having a blessed day!
Thanks for everyone reading this and listening to the journey and process of overcoming my video game addiction/temptation I'm dealing with. 
(For some reason it wouldn't let me remove the bold letter in the words above)
Congrats on reaching the 90 day milestone! I'll be joining you in a few days time
It's good to see that you were honest with yourself when examining your relationship with gaming, I intend to do similar post-detox.
-
Today I did a good decision to train Bjj even though I felt tired.
Hey @SpiNips, I can certainly relate to this! Some of the best exercise workouts are the ones that you don't necessarily feel like doing but grind through regardless, I've had a couple of gym sessions like that over the past few months
-
Day 85;
Legs day done at the gym, and with the dog walked as well, it's been a good day on the whole
I haven't done a situation update in my journal for a while. I've continued to have little problem not gaming. My gym routine has remained consistent, I've put on weight through eating and exercising (which is a good thing with my medical condition), I've returned to playing football after a lengthy lay-off due to injury, which is a major plus. Getting back into my yoga schedule would make things perfect, which I fully intend to do this week.
Gaming and exercise goals exempt, my other targets simply haven't gained traction whatsoever. I've had a couple of unforeseen successes, such as my experimenting with minimalism and selling nearly all of my gaming equipment for a decent amount of money, both of which have benefited my bank balance. Post-detox, I'm going to put a lot more focus on my other goals, such as reducing my internet procrastination, my time spent reading etc. While continuing to hold myself accountable when gaming, making note of how I feel when I do play, and whether it's a pastime that I really want to return to, and to what capacity.
-
Hey Dave, having read your latest post, it's a tough one, perhaps I can relate to some extent...
From the moment I signed up to this site, I never viewed quitting games forever as the ultimate end goal, the be-all and end-all, I was open to the idea, but it wasn't set in stone in my mind that I had to. Everybody's story is different, but if I was to generalise, I wasn't playing games that much in recent years when compared to most, but at the same time, by joining this site, I was acknowledging that something wasn't right and was in need of changing in order to better myself. I have to believe that applies to everyone if we're being honest with ourselves. How much this change is to do with our gaming habits, again, this varies from person-to-person. For some it come be that gaming is the sole problem, for others there can be additional issues such as porn like yourself, or internet procrastination as in my case.
I have 5 days remaining of my detox, and as detailed in my journal, it is my intention to continue gaming in some capacity, but I intend to carry on posting here with the hope of improving other areas of my life, getting on top of my internet procrastination being one of my primary goals, and to hold myself accountable for when I do game.
My advice, which you can happily ignore if you so wish, is to see out the 90 days. I believe @Cam Adair is right when he said that if you can't go 90 days without gaming, you probably shouldn't be playing at all. For me, completing the detox was about proving to myself that I could go without gaming for an extended period as much as anything. As @WorkInProgress said though, do what is best for you
-
Day 83!! woooooooo. Can't wait to post my victory gif for you.
Day 84;
Returned to the gym today with a good workout, and with it being a bank holiday on Monday, I will look to take advantage and try to fit in another session tomorrow. Nothing else of significance to report
-
Your public speaking abilities improved a lot if you compare this talk to your first talk. Your calm on the point without being boring. Congratulations to your improvement!
I agree, constantly looking around the room like you were takes a lot of courage, well done @Cam Adair!
-
Hi @Sashiku
I'm someone who has played a vast number of games over the years, so I can probably relate to your situation somewhat. What I have learnt however, is that the signs of addiction were at their most apparent when I was playing a particular genre, the games of which include Call of Duty, Team Fortress 2, Left 4 Dead, Battlefield.. can you see a pattern?
We may all be in the same choir, but we don't all sing from the same hymn sheet (it makes sense in my head, so I'm sticking with that analogy!). How certain games affect us differs from person to person. @GoldenGains listed a number of games above, some of which you couldn't even pay me to play. Stick Team Fortress 2 on in front of me however...
All I can really suggest is to use the time away from gaming to look back and reflect on how gaming impacted on your life. It could just be certain genres like RPG's that cause you problems, or it could be all games that trigger an addictive response, that's something for you to discover
-
Home stretch brethren!
I like what you have to say about moderation and setting aside time to play videogames. If one chooses to play videogames post-detox, they shouldn't make it a point to do so; they should just do it and be aware of it and enjoy it for what it is: another form of media to enjoy, not unlike books, tv or movies. Rather than set aside time to do it like it's an essential part of their day.
That was a bit rambly I hope that made sense.
TL;DR
I agree.
Actually @Merdoc_Rowboat, you summed up what I wanted to say in three lines, so it was anything but rambly!
I'm glad my point came across. It's important for me to state that I would put a cap on how much I play at a time, but it's more about awareness than setting a strict schedule.
Day 83;
The weather is changing every hour because it's the UK, therefore I've not planned anything special for today. This week has been tough with work and me not feeling 100% again, so I'm going to complete a few random chores, rest, recover, and prepare for the gym tomorrow.
-
Day 82;
8 days to go!
Just a few thoughts I had recently that I wanted to share...
My Problem With Moderation
I can guarantee that the vast majority of people on here have tried to moderate their game-time at some point, myself included, and while some people may have success in the first few days, weeks, maybe even months, it simply isn't sustainable over the long-term. In my eyes, one of the reasons this proves to be the case is that we focus on the quantity rather than the quality.
As an example, say I decided that I was going to limit my playing of Call of Duty to 2 hours every day. 2 hours of what exactly? 2 hours of playing the same game, in the same way that I had been playing for 5 or 6 hours each day previously. It's only going to take a stressful situation at work, a rough day, or simply boredom to justify upping my playtime again, the length of which gradually increases over time and before I know it, I'm back to where I started, and the cycle starts all over again.
Habit vs Hobby
As my detox comes to a conclusion, this is a key distinction that I've come to make. A regular hobby of mine is watching TV/films. When watching a series or film, if I'm not enjoying it, I'll simply stop watching and move onto something else. In the past, gaming is something which I'd put my time into, regardless of how much enjoyment I was getting out of playing, it was a habit. My time away from video games has helped to clarify what aspects I enjoyed, and what aspects were simply time-killers, a way to fill up the allotted time I allowed myself to game. Previously I talked about how I'm open to playing games post-detox, but I no longer want to attach the word moderation to that. I'm not going to assign myself a set time to play games every day/week, because at that point it becomes a habit, a quota which I need to fill even it means doing it on auto-pilot.
-
Day 90! BOOYA!
finish detox: check
feeling awesome : check
Hey guys, I actually did it and it is a nice feeling. It shows me that I can achieve things with the proper planning and some time and motivation. I can do everything which is possible for other humans out there. Thanks to all in this forum and to our "guru" Cam( don't think I will kneel know though ;)). It was a hell of ride and still is because I have many things I want to tackle now. I cancelled yesterday a LAN-Party which I planned to attend after the detox. I just don't feel like to spent a weekend gaming. With Linux Mint on my computer installing oldschool-games would be a hazzle and for the new games my computer is too weak anyway. It feels like I left a big weight behind me and can now stand up again and face the world.
I will stick to the community and I will continue writing here but I'll try a weekly format for now and exchange the gratitude journal with a personal gratitude meditation.
I want to be more productive now and finally stick to my morning routine. I limited my Gamequitters time to 45min/day with Leechblock and won't have the time to read every journal know that so much new ones appear (which is awesome btw). Also I will focus on getting a little bit buffed after my last exam next Tuesday. I all ready started my training so it is time to get serious with nutrition( this is a good time anyway because my wife tries to loose weight and so I can support her this way). I plan to monitor what I eat with the same app my wife is using. After 2 weeks of monitoring I will measure my average calorie intake and eat a little more whilst focussing on the right balance of macro nutritions.
This summer I will be mentally and physically in the shape of my life. People in games told me to get a life. Suck it bitches :D!
Meditation(20min/day): Day 4
Jogging/Bw-Exercise(20min/40min 6days/week): Day 4
Daily plan(at the end of the working day + in the morning): Day 4
Congrats mate! It's great that after reaching the 90-day milestone that you're already setting yourself more goals to aim for, which is what I intend to do myself in 18 days or so
-
Day 66;
24 days left, crazy stuff!
Work was tiring last week, while I've spent yesterday and today decorating, so I'm continuing to keep myself busy. I intend to post a more detailed journal entry, but right now I have to get back to painting ceilings!
Day 71;
Firstly I hope everyone is doing well
In the last week I've had some of my biggest urges to game at any period during my detox. I was never in danger of doing so, because I feel fully in control and want to prove to myself that I can see this through to the end. The reason for these cravings is because my medical condition has not been at its best. Going forward, I could justify spending some time to game as outlined in my original post when in this position of being limited to what I can do from a productivity standpoint. When I'm 100%, I'd rather do other things like I have been doing.
It's funny that my detox has become intertwined with the beginning of my journey towards minimalism. I would also like to point out that I've now sold all of my video games, all that is left is my console and controller. It scares me to think how much money I've put into gaming over the years, so if I do continue to play in some form, I'm going to be doing it with the least expenditure possible.
Once I reach the 90-day target, it is my intention to continue posting here. I may set myself some different goals to achieve, although I will wait until I've completed the detox before making any definitive decisions on that.
-
Day 66;
24 days left, crazy stuff!
Work was tiring last week, while I've spent yesterday and today decorating, so I'm continuing to keep myself busy. I intend to post a more detailed journal entry, but right now I have to get back to painting ceilings!
-
Day 58;
I'm doing okay at the moment, not perfect, but certainly not bad either.
Firstly, the good. I feel like the detox is now a way to prove to myself that I can go without gaming for an extended period, and I'm confident I will achieve that. My gym schedule is more consistent than it has been for as long as I can remember. My two primary goals are being nailed currently. All the little changes I would like to make, not so much. I'm keeping myself busy at the moment through various means, and from tomorrow I'm working long days until the weekend which means I'll have little time for anything else. I'm hoping that my last few bits of gaming equipment that I want to get rid of will be sold by then as well, which for me personally is an important step to take.
If by the end of the detox the only two goals I achieved were to not play games and continue exercising in the manner that I have, I would still regard that as a success. I think it's important to keep that in mind.
-
I ruined all of my clothes the other day by accident and now I need to replace them. Thankfully that only involves replacing 6 shirts, 1 pair of jeans and 1 jean shirt.
#minimalistadvantages
Ha! I don't think I could survive with so few clothes personally, but what I've learned so far is that it's down to the individual as to what they perceive to be the right amount of something. If you know of any good articles relating to minimalism, I'd welcome you sharing them
-
Day 52;
Despite my lack of activity as of late, I am still going strong. I did load up some older games the other day, but that was purely for testing purposes, as I'm selling everything apart from my current console and two games, that's all I'm keeping now. I've been spending time looking into the minimalist lifestyle as of late, and what better way to start than selling 95% of my gaming equipment!
It's a time-consuming process though, and with me not feeling 100% for a couple of days, is the reason that I have been absent for the past week. Hopefully I'll return to posting here and in other parts of the forum more regularly
-
Day 44;
As I edge closer to the halfway mark, it's fair to say that I've coasted through the last fortnight or so. The positives I can take from this however is that firstly, I haven't played any games, and secondly, my exercise schedule is still on track. It's the little habits that I'd hoped to integrate into my routine that continue to evade me. I feel as though my tough days at work (Monday and Tuesday) have largely contributed to this, as it has stopped me from implementing these habits on a consistent basis. Today is the last day for this particular work schedule for a couple of weeks at the very least, so hopefully I can start to kick on again.
**Warning, talk about playing games below...**
In addition to when I first started the detox, I've decided to sell some more of my games. I've edged ever so slightly closer to the side of quitting altogether over moderation, but I still want, and plan to play a newly-released game (Uncharted 4) post-detox. I'm intrigued as to how I may feel when I do sit down to play it, as it is one of the few games that I would allow myself to put some of my time into (10 hours approx.).
Still no plans to return to old gaming habits such as playing online, and I'm happy that is the case.
My Wall of Text
in Daily Journals
Posted
Without the need to go into detail, I've had a tough week due to factors relating to my health. My time spent browsing the internet has reduced further partly because of this, but I don't really view that as much of an upside to the frustrating time I've been having as of late. It is my intention to modify my gym routine for tomorrow and hopefully things will start to settle down sooner rather than later so I can get back to feeling my normal self again. For now, I just have to take it one day at a time. I've been to work this morning, and I'm now getting ready for an afternoon of football now that Euro 2016 has started!
The above is nothing more than a paragraph of me ranting, but sometimes it's helps to get things like this off your chest