Average_Guy

@mrmmartin Good to know man, thanks for sharing.

Sept. 30, 2021 Hey everyone, I've been reading through some of my old posts. I believe I'm somewhere over 100 days gaming free and porn free. I'm having some urges to play games. There's a new update that is coming out very soon that I've heard about, and my school schedule is freeing up a bit. It's just been weighing on my mind a lot more than it usually is. I think I was a little over optimistic when I said I have put to rest gaming/porn. I definitely have more control over these things, but it's a long process to 100% get rid of them, if that's even fully possible. Gaming seems fun, but there's other things out there that are arguably more fun, they just take more effort, haha. Not to mention, I read about the last time I started up gaming for six weeks and I wrote that I kinda knew I didn't want to be playing again. Might update again soon based on what happens, think I also just need a little more sleep. I think the reasons behind this most recent urge are: I've been getting comfortable (have a girl I hang with alot), I'm a little tired/fatigued (looking for escape), and I have very big/hard projects ahead of me that I think will take lots of work (looking to avoid these temporarily).

July 26, 2021 Had a friend text me this morning asking me when I was going to get back on the game with him. It almost made me laugh because gaming just isn't an option anymore, it's not part of me. It feels like I've been able to close the chapter in that book. A weird coincidence is that I just filled up a journal that I had been writing in since March 2020, right before Covid hit. So I bought a new journal and started a brand new chapter. Very powerful (a new chapter for my life). In one foul swoop, and I don't say this lightly, I believe I have put to rest my gaming and porn addictions. It started around 10 years ago, and it's been a long and difficult journey. I'm ecstatic, but the tough part is you rarely get a break in life and now I have new challenges that will be just as hard. Fighting to stay productive, find my calling, and not letting the parting/girls get the best of me at school. I don't think I will be back to post very often, but I hope you all overcome your obstacles. If I have any advice, it's to always keep digging deeper. Don't mask your emotions and feelings with all the tools we have in this life to numb ourselves, they are there for a reason. This is something I still battle with today and will probably for the rest of my life. Also, don't be too hard on yourself! The problems we all face are common to man, you are doing what you are supposed to doing as a human being, stay strong, be happy! PEACE!

Hey, I'm also trying to find a good community for me this year as well. All while going off sugar, which also includes some carbohydrates for me. I'm super sensitive at the moment. Wishing you the best on your journey.

Good to hear from you Po, I will check it out. I really do like that youtuber. And ya, I've seen the rank around. I was definitely faded when I wrote that, I don't think it's tooo big of a deal, but it does seem a bit like a gaming similar feature.

Hey Po, Been a minute. I think testing the waters can be a good thing, sometimes you need to get your hands dirty to really understand a situation. I personally believe that letting go of games fully, has been a great weight off my shoulders. It changed my perspective on how I am supposed to live as a man, but it didn't happen over night. It took years before I was able to fully let go, which is where I am at today. Only you know what to do because all our lives are so massively different. Just know you are where you are supposed to be in life. And, learn all you can from that experience.

Also, why is the website giving me a (Rank: Newbie 1/14) That seems like some gamer shit and this is an antigaming forum.

July 18, 2021, Was writing some of this stuff in my journal and got an urge to write on this forum again. Been over 2.5 months since my last post. A lot has happened since then, I played games probably a few days after my April 28 post. I played about a month and knew, in the last 2 weeks I was playing, that I was not genuinely not enjoying myself and saw how destructive it was. I quit once again after a month of playing. However, in the next few weeks my health would skyrocket to the most stable it's been in 10 years. I am not fully healthy yet, but I'm about at 80%. Because of this stability, and the leaps and bounds my health has taken, I feel better than I've "maybe" ever felt in my life mentally, physically, spiritually. Work is going incredible, everyone wants to be my friend, schools starting soon, I've been able to exercise hard, and I can get away with eating junk food and having a couple drinks which I haven't been able to do for a little over 7 years. Now all that's great, I've been doing so well with nofap as well, but living in a college town, sometimes females will 'go great lengths to get into bed with you'. And I have 'caught feelings' for a female. We did the deed, and since I have been kind of hooked. I've been going out with friends and since I live in a state where weed is legal, I've been doing that too, kind of trying to numb all the emotions that came with sleeping around, boredom, desperately wanting to be more social, not being in school yet (I moved to a new city, where I knew nobody, in the middle of covid), and just loneliness. I feels a bit like I've evolved, gaming is no longer something that is even in the realm of possibility, it's just off the plate for good, I cringe when I think about it. But how I have this new kinda set of problems that I'm trying to figure out. I'm going to try and exercise patients and quit smoking/drinking/sleeping around for a while longer. I feel like I never lived out my college days and it feels like I'm kind of doing that. But I want to get to 100% health, while working on my passion and I feel like I will be able to balance everything much better. Plus, this lifestyle is not helping my health at all, I know I'll heal faster if I don't do any of this. It's just difficult and I'm lonely. Hope you all are doing well.

28 April 2021, Day 23 Felt like shit today. Detoxing from some supplements pretty hard. On my way home I thought, what's stopping me from gaming right now in this moment, when my body/mind are hurting; why not? Then I remembered a lesson I learned the last few times I relapsed and started to game. Gaming releases a ton of dopamine and simulates a chaser effect that makes you seek other high dopamine activities, aka PORN. I really feel like I have every excuse to game some days, if you've read some of my posts you might know. But the one thing I care more about quitting gaming is Porn 100%. That simple lesson saved my streak today and will continue to drive me to not game. Instead I listened to some new house music, browsed instagram, then tried to learn some new dance moves in my bedroom. Next thing I knew, 2 hours had passed and I felt a little better from the exercise, and here I am now.

22 April 2021, Day 17 Feelin' a little more motivated the last 2 days. I just set up a calendar in my room to do 5 months, or about 150 days of 10 minutes of yoga and 10 minutes of meditation everyday. "Sometimes the greatest challenges are the ones we take up on a whim." I really believe this is going to help me in more ways than one. On all other fronts, still makin' progress.

I'm not taking any psychotropics, I've pretty much completely stayed away from any sort of big pharma approach to health. They seem like a temporary band aid for a problem that goes a lot deeper. I even avoid antibiotics while I can, unless it's super serious. I started having this problem when I went vegetarian for around 6 months after being diagnosed with too much iron in my blood. I have a doc visit in 2 days, so hopefully I can get some answers or solutions. *fingers crossed*

17 April 2021, Day 12 Yoo, I feel like I haven't updated in a hot minute. So far, I'm doing pretty good. Haven't had any urges or anything. My biggest concern at the moment is staying productive. I have been watching a good amount of television, and I have all the tools and knowledge of how to be productive, but when it comes down to starting some -more difficult- tasks, I'm struggling. My doc said I should be having a breakthrough pretty soon, but I'm trying not to have my hopes up too much. This weeks been tough because I've been having problems with my appetite/hunger. My doctor thinks its related to my blood sugar levels. I can eat a full meal and be hungry in the next hour, or even right after I eat. Last night I couldn't even sleep for hours because of these hunger sensations. We've been working on it for 6 months, but this week it's been pretty bad and it can be very irritating. Hopefully we'll find a solution soon.

Yeah, I am trying to make sure that doesn't happen. That would be devastating.

11 April 2021, Day 6 @TheNewMe2.0 That's actually great advice. Plus, I keep comparing myself to other people, like being in a class with a bunch of freshman as a 28 year old. It's fine if I do things at my own pace. I've been able to start going on short runs which I haven't been able to do in 3ish years. It feels so good, but I don't want to push myself too hard yet. I can see myself getting pretty addicted to working out and running again which is a good addiction to have. It just felt amazing. T minus 1 month and 1 week til summer school!

8 April 2021, Day 3 Yoo. Just got home from a Trivia night at a coffee house/bar with a friend of a cousin that I got connected with. It was pretty fun and the weather was perfect outside. I have work tomorrow, but I'm trying to piece together a skill/hobby that I can work on while I'm taking classes. It's looking l'm going to have to do 4 years to get a degree in Interior Design. The only credits that transferred were for my gen-eds, which kinda sucks. But oh well.