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Everything posted by Splitstep

  1. Day 314 (42/252/12/3) (08/11/19) Friday Hey guys, it has been a while. Too long if I say so. Over 4 months. I wish I kept updating how things have been, but sadly it has not been the case and day by day it gets harder because there's more and more to share and it feels like such a big task. Nevertheless, I'll try to catch you up with what has been going on. Relapses As you can see above, I've relapsed two times, both recently. After 252 days, I reinstalled Overwatch on the 20th of October just after ending lectures for the year and played a lot for a day and a half, and at the end of it I felt dry and unsatisfied thankfully, and I uninstalled. I felt convicted throughout, but not deeply enough to actually quit until 36 hours. That lasted 12 days, and then I reinstalled it on the 2nd of November and played for 3 days, after completing my first and hardest exam. So now I'm on my fifth attempt. Dad But lets rewind back to the day after the last time I officially posted, so the 7th of July. Day 190 (07/07/19) Sunday Dad had a stroke in the afternoon which was much more serious than his previous two which were minor strokes. Thankfully mum was with him and drove him quickly to the emergency department, and that it wasn't during working hours or that would've been more difficult. My sister and I came shortly after writing down that our shop was going to be closed. He apparently was stabilised and we went home in the evening. We woke up to a phone call at around 11 pm saying that he was moved to the intensive care unit (ICU). He was not breathing on his own so they put a tube in him and got a machine to breathe for him (endotracheal intubation). It was hard for me to watch and listen to the mechanical squeaking of the machine inhaling and exhaling. From the get go, I braced myself for the worst; Dad dying. But I also believed that God could save him very much so. But did he have to? No. And this got me wondering, how does one show faith in this case? Because we don't know God's will is for these scenarios. I still don't know if it was the right way to think. I didn't want my dad to die, especially since he was not yet a Christian, but I was trying to get myself to be accepting if it did happen and not be angry at God, and instead accept it because God knows best. I think because I knew that everything was in God's hands, I was not worried or scared. But my sister and I really wanted to share the Gospel to him. And I was disappointed at not taking all the chances that I had to share, and for something like this to happen to actually wake me up. That night mum, sis and I prayed together and it was really nice. Day 191 (08/07/19) Monday The doctor said that he had a stroke in the part of the brain that makes you sleepy. Him being so sleepy was the biggest worry. All they could do is monitor dad and keep his condition stable. It was either he wakes up and that would be promising or might not and die from his stroke. Essentially, it was all up to God. He was not alert, active, or spontaneous. He was not properly waking up; we would nudge him and he would groan and twitch for a bit and then go back to sleep. He could open his left eye a teeny tiny bit (2 mm), but not his right eye. He could move his hands, feet, legs just a little bit. In the evening for every 10 breaths, one of them was his, which was a miracle. The lyrics, "It's your breath, in our lungs" was even more powerful now. I was feeling tempted to escape/be comforted by gaming, watching videos, eat junk food... but I refrained. Day 192 (09/07/19) Tuesday We came in at 12:30 pm to see his right eye half open and breathing every breath! And he sat up! God performed an even bigger miracle! We were in tears. Mum spent the day reading 2 ways to live (a gospel tract). And I felt like she was really close to receiving God. I wrote this on the day, "Thank you Holy Spirit, she gets the gospel and wants to live a Jesus directed life! And sees you working in my dad, and in the church family praying and caring and willing to help us out. And she knows that it’s not that you are obligated to bringing my dad back to health, but every breath and movement is your grace. The amount of love poured out through our brothers and sisters is incredible." At 8 pm I suddenly felt a lot lighter, before head was just stuffed, not worried, but due to trying to comprehend the situation and lack of sleep. But I kept getting tired and sleepy and not being able to think and respond to messages and had no appetite. Day 193 (10/07/19) Wednesday At 10 am they took the breathing tube out. It was still just his right eye that could open. He could whisper. The speech and language therapist came in to assess his swallowing and speech and he was not quite ready to eat (which was normal) and they were going to test again tomorrow. He could correctly respond to commands, with some coaxing. In the afternoon the nurses got him out of bed and onto a seat. I felt restless, irritated and not stimulated from just sitting and sleeping. Day 194 (11/07/19) Thursday He moved out of ICU and into ward 28 (neurology ward). We came in at 11:30 am, to see him sitting in a chair. his speech was a lot clearer and we could easily understand him. He was staying awake, compared to yesterday where he would fall back to sleep after a few mins. The physiotherapist came in at 11:50 am and he went for a walk with the help of the frame, which is incredible, he has a lot of strength. Left eye was still closed, right eye fully open. Dad was still a bit confused, and kept getting names and dates incorrect. I got so irritated for some reason and apathetic that I left the room and sat in the lounge. I was scrolling through cricket and Wimbledon and then it was time for us visitors to leave. And then I felt bad, I should have hung out with dad instead of mindlessly surfing the web, I could have at least slept. All this negativity in me, despite getting decent rest must be spiritual attacks. I didn't want to remain angry when the next day begins (Ephesians 4:26). So I confessed and repented. Day 201 (18/07/19) Thursday He got transferred to another hospital. He had a room to himself, and it was a new and nice facility. His speaking and energy had been improving, and he was still eating soft foods with small bites and sips of water. Day 256 (11/09/19) Wednesday Dad was officially discharged back home! Actually, Mum had decided to become a Christian on the 9th of July when she saw dad wake up! She saw what God did. Wow, it's incredible. I know that God uses events to glorify him, and I knew that this was somehow going to, but I didn't expect it to be like this! The best news ever! Day 262 (17/09/19) Tuesday Dad had a mild stroke while walking with mum, just after I left to go to the university and my sister was at work. Dad said it felt like last time; his brain was 'expanding'. 5 minutes into being in the car, being driven to the hospital, dad told mum to drive back home because he was feeling better, but mum still took him to the hospital and they did checks on him and he stayed there. Despite this, there is much to be thankful for. The urgency of the gospel has been reinforced once again. Day 263 (19/09/19) Thursday Dad came home! He was fine during his stay in hospital, he had to stay for two night because they were doing tests on him. Day 314 (08/11/19) Friday Now, he is able to do most things, hold conversations, do basic maths, chores and independently go for short walks. His left eye is fine; can open fully. His right eye, not quite so, only a tiny bit. But his vision is good on both sides. His sometimes gets muddled up with his memory and other times he can remarkably remember details from long ago. He does get tired and requires naps throughout the day, and sometimes gets in a low mood and discouraged with his right eye not seeming to get better, so we have to remind him of how far he has come. He still has his cheeky personality which is good, and laughs quite a lot! We've shared the gospel to him a couple times, however he does not give much on how he feels about it.
  2. @Redmark I WAS AHAHAHAHA, I'll hopefully get back into the habit! Thanks for sharing your experience of moving out, Yeah I think I'll like it after getting used to it! I haven't read Revelations yet! For some reason, I really like Ecclesiastes. It makes sense that things are meaningless, a vapor, without God. And instead of expecting what life ought to be, simply enjoy life as it is, it's all a gift from God.
  3. Day 189 (42|147) (06/07/19) Saturday It's scary, the thought of moving from the comfort of my home, friends, and family. Being more independent. But it is needed, and I can use the remainder of the year to get my restricted licence (about time!), get a job and save some money, learn how to buy food, cook, wash clothes... But the most important thing is if it is God's will that I pursue physiotherapy. I don't want to be doing physio because it's my desire but not his, and if he's calling me to do engineering, I don't ignore it and I obey him. I went to Encounter church for the first time, and I was welcomed by Jackie, who has studied at both Otago and AUT. He's switched degrees to podiatry and he works closely with physiotherapists. So it was really awesome to talk to him about these things, as well as Joe who's completed his bachelor of physiotherapy at Otago and is now working. I recognised SO MANY people from my past there and didn't know that are Christian! Jenny, Daniel, Sally, Henry, and Kevin! The sermon from Allen was so good, I was so encouraged because I was wondering about the possibility that the disciples took his body from the tomb, but if that was the case then they wouldn’t have lived such radically different lives if they knew that it was a lie. After the service, I got prayed for my career change and one of the things that they said was that God wanted to speak to me and that I ought to wait on him, and give him time to speak during prayer. It was so cool to learn that cause I usually just speak what I wanna say and not listen, so this new element of prayer has me really excited and I can't wait to hear what God has to say to me! Afterward, we went out for dinner at Ye-Chon (I initially thought they said Hedgehog 😂) It was a mean feed, their ribs are so good! Then we went back to church for board games! Played One Night Ultimate Werewolf (like a shorter version of Mafia) and it was pretty funny cause I legit didn't know the strategy of the game and so I managed to fool everyone! And then we played Avalon and I can't act/lie at all so everyone knew that I was evil, but my two other teammates hard carried us and we managed to win AHAHAHAHA. I had a really good time 😊 And SOMEHOW, we managed to fit my road bike into a Honda Jazz!!! Mind = blown. Later that evening I prayed and waited on him, and I didn't really get anything for half an hour so I went to sleep.
  4. Day 188 (42|146) (05/07/19) Friday Remember day 67, when I mentioned how I would like to study sports coaching or physiotherapy? Well since then, I haven't let it occupy my mind as I wanted to focus on finishing the semester strong and think about it after seeing my course results. Well, those results came out and they were good, so blessed! But the thought of continuing engineering: not keen, don't see myself doing it as a job. Since high school, I've been used to doing subjects for the sake of it: english, maths, bio, chem, physics, etc. And doing engineering courses were no different, I was doing things for the sake of it. I was used to that. And then the thought of actually pursuing physiotherapy excited me as nothing else has ever before... it was a new feeling to me. A real passion for something... wéow. I have so many reasons for wanting to do physio; I'd love to teach people how to look after and learn about their bodies, injury prevention, I love sports so helping athletes, seeing God's healing powers at work, being able to connect with people and be a part of their journey in life... compared to just liking the outdoors 😂 I couldn't sleep that night because I was buzzing at the thought of doing it, and so I woke up and told my mum about my thoughts. She was concerned cause she's seen people switch degrees and never finish one, and that it's not what I will expect, it's not all sunshine and rainbows, it's going to be hard. I know these things, and that she just wants me to be sure about this decision. She wasn't against it, she just found it a bit rushed (and most definitely so, I've only been thinking about it for a few hours!) so I really need to do my research, ask people and pray, pray, pray!
  5. Day 187 (42|145) (04/07/19) Thursday Conference was absolutely incredible! Blew my expectations away! I made so many great friends that I know we'll have a lot more memories to come! And we have a new brother (Zayn) and sister in our family!!! I was amazed at how God was working and I was in awe every time I saw the beautiful views of the mountains, as well as the starry night sky. I was especially challenged in two ways: Loving God and honouring God in rest. I've always wondered to myself, "Why is my heart not breaking for the lost? Why am I somewhat complacent with my relationships, and not proclaiming Jesus and the good news at every opportunity I have?". Then someone told me that, 'Loving others comes from loving God." SO TRUE. So I am evaluating what my relationship with God is like, and if I am letting God love me. Being a CSL, we were 'very important people' in conference. I was also a team leader, so I was to be looking after my fellow teammates too. It was important for us to be connecting with people, so I went ALL IN... too all in. I was putting evangelism over personal time, growth and health, resulting in multiple social/emotional crashes. I lowkey wish that I was an extravert because they recharge during social activities, but I am thankful that I am not because God has taught me about the value of rest and how it is just as important as evangelism. In fact, this wasn't just an issue in conference, but out of it too! I've committed to being a part of so many things because I wanna use what God has given me to glorify him. But I haven't made any time for rest. I may be idolising work because I feel uncomfortable if I'm not contributing to things. I am so so so thankful for conference! It's so amazing how God so graciously answered our prayers and transformed hearts!!
  6. Day 182 (42|140) (29/06/19) Saturday At last year's conference, this is what I wrote down for my expectations of it, and these were HUGE expectations for me. I really struggled with these two things, they absolutely terrified me! But God has given me a lot of courage and trust, and I'm blown away by what has happened in the year between then and now, and the person that God has so gracefully shaped me to be, and there's still a lot of things I need to trust in God in that I'm hoping to grow in this conference. All glory be to Him! And I can't wait to what God is going to do in this year conference; which has started today!! 60 people from Canterbury! God made our faith goal happen! It's incredible, it defies all odds that more people are coming to conference than last year, with fewer student leaders, with only 30 people being a part of Student Life Canterbury and the event that has happened this year... brooo there is a reason why God has brought so many people to this! Can't waitttttttt :DD
  7. Day 180 (42|138) (27/06/19) Thursday I've had a lot of memorable moments these past few days with friends; did an escape room, played tennis, gymed, trail biked, played basketball and squash, but one moment that I don't want to EVER forget is a time on the project I went on (pg 1) and was, by God's grace, a part of His miraculous work! God led me and my friend to a man and his boys during sharing, and God was also leading him to that point through circumstances in his life. And I got to witness the amazing power of the Gospel and the Spirit working in him and my friend and the beautiful moment of him receiving Christ! Hallelujah! I am so blessed to have been able to be a part of that and I pray that Tuane and his family continue to follow Jesus with all their heart, soul and mind, be transformed by your crazy love for us and that You will use them greatly to grow your kingdom!
  8. Day 173 (42|131) (20/06/19) Thursday It's been so good being able to do prayer and quiet time first thing, though it was tough today cause I went to bed late and got up early to film a special video for conference! It was so much fun and we had a lot of laughs doing it! Here is one of many attempts of a particular scene of Enoch that we managed to get after 10 minutes 😆 20190620_114851.mp4
  9. Day 172 (42|130) (19/06/19) Wednesday Played tennis and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Played for 2 hrs 30 mins!! So much for easing back into it 😅 Friendly matches are what I love! I forgot to bring my elbow brace so I know that I'm gonna have a sore forearm tomorrow but oh well, it's lowkey worth it! Unfortunately, I slammed my toe into the end of my shoe so I have a bruised toenail 😖 aiyo... And then for the rest of the day, I did computer science with my friend til LATE (like into the early morning late). Man, learning is a lot more fun when you don't have to be examined on it!
  10. Day 171 (42|129) (18/06/19) Tuesday I've found Francis Chan's 'Crazy Love' at the Lyall Flat a few days ago and they let me borrow it! I've read the videos on it and so I was really excited to finally be able to read the book! When Francis Chan said, "Dare to imagine what it would mean for you to take the words of Jesus seriously." I thought of Grandma Clara. That is how I want to be! Lately, I've been slack with making personal time with Him, and have been choosing to spend my time on everything but that! Ugh. When I wake up, what I want to do is to get started on my day and enjoy the gifts of life, but not the giver! But I want to love God as she does! This morning, I was able to roll out of bed and pray first thing, and it was GREAT! Honestly, it was sooooo good, thanking and talking to Him, it was legitimately the highlight of my day! I can't believe that I didn't want to do it! I was able to help my friend out with computer science (Python), I did the course last year and he has the exam for it on Thursday. It felt good to revise and help him out, I really like helping and teaching people. And I'm really excited that I'm able to play tennis tomorrow! In fact, I'm even more excited that I'm excited about playing tennis! Oh, I've missed you SO MUCH tennis!
  12. Day 166 (42|124) (13/06/19) Thursday Hey, it has been a while 😅 sorry that I haven't been posting. It's exam period and I have one today at 9:30am! Maybe that's why I can't get to sleep, nerves or something. I studied at home the whole day, with no major social interaction and it was so hard, I was itching to go to uni and see my friends. And as I was lying in bed I was reflecting back to the days (that were not so long ago) that I'd play video games for 8-10 hours every day and not get bored! Well, Overwatch was kinda 'social' cause you use mics, but still, I wouldn't call it social interaction. I found it quite intriguing because I think today has been the first day in months that I've had zero social interaction, every other day I would either by studying with friends, going to events, church, etc. and there have been numerous times where I've felt like it's just too much social activity for me and I wanna go and have some alone time! And today, it was the complete opposite; it was too much alone time! Speaking of social stuff, I've decided that games are appropriate to play if I'm playing with someone else in real life, so they're right next to you. Video games are good to play with friends, bond over and create moments and memories! Like I really want to play Celeste, It's an amazing game, nominated for Game Of The Year, but it's singleplayer. I just don't see the value of it if I'm not building a relationship by creating moments with people. And likewise with watching stuff like movies or Netflix. So that's why I'm not gonna watch Stranger Things 3 (as tempting as it is cause it's just been released!) because I'll be watching it by myself and I can spend my time on much better things like spending time with God or with friends and family. It may seem like it sucks a bit now but I know it'll be worth it in the end.
  13. Day 142 (42|100) (20/05/19) Monday Feeling discouraged, overwhelmed and a failure (even though I knew that God didn't see me like that and that He loves me regardless), I broke down so many times that day, and typical me, when I knew tears were coming I ran and hid. I actually had no will to do anything. I wrote how I felt, lamented, prayed, and in the evening, God gave me peace. It's indescribable. (A few days later Philippians 4:7 was the verse of the day and that was the verse for that moment!) Although the situation didn't change, the sense of peace made such a difference. It was so surreal. It made me realise that He really is with me and listening and understands how I feel. I felt more connected and appreciative of Him. It was a big day.
  14. Day 141 (42|99) (19/05/19) Sunday Met up with my bible study leader and I told him that I'm gonna keep going to UniConnect. However, I felt uncomfortable with that decision because I was spending little time with my family, so I thought to drop UniConnect to make more time for that. But I felt that God was wanting me to still go to UniConnect so that was what I chose, despite me feeling not so sure about it. Trust in God, He makes time for those that seek Him. My leader told me that he experienced during the week was to rely on facts cause feelings are not always the best indicator. I thought that was cool but didn't think too much of it. Then there was church and some guys from RICE came along which was really cool! Afterward, they invited me to have dinner and do a final worship night. During worship, I didn't feel God's presence as much as the previous nights and I was really scared cause everyone else seemed to be feeling it, and it wasn't until after it that I remembered what my leader shared with me and I was like woahhh God set that all up! My bible study leader going through that, then him telling me what he experienced and learned from it, then me experiencing something similar and so having a better understanding what it means to trust facts, not feelings! I was able to talk to my friend that night, thank you God. It felt good to let stuff out, and they gave solid advice. It was so encouraging seeing how hard they were going the Lord, all for Him. And to be honest, I felt discouraged at the same time cause I was struggling with stuff, and I wanted to be like them; all for God! Jason gave me a ride back and we had our classic in-the-car dmc and I told him everything that was on my mind and he reminded me that I did pray for trials and hardship at the start of the year 😂
  15. Right after that post on May 25th, I was writing all the things that have happened and then I had to go do something, and it's been so busy that every moment there is something to do and I haven't written anything for so long... today was the last day of lectures for the semester, and everything has been handed in! MASS RELIEF. All assignments, tutorials, and projects are done!!! But exams are starting in about a weeks time 😬 so I'm not completely done! I'll do my best to recall what has gone on the past few days!
  16. Yeeeee well it's been a few days... a lot has gone on and it's been quite the rollercoaster, not just this week but throughout this journal AHAHAHAHA. I should be writing but I haven't, mainly because I've been so busy and I know that it usually takes me half an hour to write a small entry and over an hour to write a large one because I try to structure it really nicely, but I should just freestyle it.
  17. Day 140 (42|98) (18/05/19) Saturday Wow. Great are you lord. Holy, holy, holy! I have experienced and learned so much these past few days, and I know this description cannot do it justice. The RICE movement came to Christchurch for a short trip and I was so so excited, I've heard about them and I've seen videos of what they do, but yeah on Thursday and Friday there was worship and prayer and it was the first time I experienced true worship. God's spirit was moving powerfully in all of us, and I really did feel His presence. I lifted my hands up for the first time during worship and it felt so right. To me, it's as a sign of saying; God I surrender everything and I want to give everything to you. Closing my eyes and imagining God from the descriptions of Isaiah 6 and Revelation 4 fills me with such awe and wonder. It was pretty amazing the timing of God, our church has been doing a series on Holiness and worship helped me to understand that a lot better. I laid down ALL my burdens, doubts (such as UniConnect), worries and sins before God, repented and it felt so good and liberating, and the worship got stronger! Everybody there are such faithful, God-fearing people and it was such a joy getting to know the people there, and also I recognised A LOT of people and I didn't realise that they were Christian! I've been praying for a wee while, 'I give my life to you God. Use me as you wish', and on Thursday Steve said that if anybody wanted to say that prayer, come to one of the people standing up (we were sitting down). I went to one of the guys, and I just broke down when telling him about how I've been praying this prayer for a bit, yet I still feel lost with my studies (Day 67) and wondering if I'm actually listening to God and therefore I'm questioning if this is where He wants me (Day 110). He prayed for me, and he realised that I was an engineer, and he says that he thinks that God led me to him because he had was an engineer doing his master's thesis, and he wasn't sure what God wanted him to do so he prayed that 'if He [God] didn't want him to do engineering, close that door for him.' And God answered his prayer by preventing his thesis from being able to be completed, and now he is a pastor! Pray big and bold prayers, with faith! And today, God told me that I have not been expressing His love to one of my friends and I pray that I can see and talk to them one more time before they leave.
  18. Splitstep

    We continue

    That's okay man, take what you've learned from that and move on! You got this :))
  19. Day 136 (42|94) (14/05/19) Tuesday I am so torn on whether to still go to UniConnect or not. This feels like the hardest decision of my life. I don't know what to do. Please pray for me.
  20. Day 135 (42|93) (13/05/19) Monday The Mark Drama (a play of the Gospel of Mark), was so powerful and it brought the book to life! The acting was so good and it felt so real. Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane and seeing and hearing his anguish was so moving. I felt so convicted during the Pilate scene because I was with the crowd in choosing Barnabus and Jesus' crucifixion. And Jesus being flogged, hammered on the cross and hanging from it was honestly so hard to watch and hear, the moans of pain hit hard with me, realising the amount of suffering Jesus took because He loved us so much and He wanted us to be back with God. Afterwards, while having food, I met Zayn who is exploring Christianity, and I felt really comfortable talking to him and we ended up talking about various things for over 3 hours and we only stopped because the library was closing! My heart felt so happy and full for the convo we had and the connection we made, praise God for making it all happen! I made a new friend today 😄
  21. Day 133 (42|91) (11/05/19) Saturday Something God has been convicting and reminding me in prayer for the past month or so of a hat that I stole at least 2 years ago and I think I know whose it belongs to. The thought process when stealing the hat was pretty much the same as in Genesis 3:6 'So when the woman saw that the tree was good... she took of its fruit...' and Genesis 6:2 'the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive (good). And they took as their wives any they chose. ' I saw that the hat looked good/cool and I took it. And every time I'm reminded of it, I'd move it to later. Well today, I sent him a message with a photo of the hat, asking if it was his. He currently hasn't replied. Some background about Nic: Is one year younger, so he is in his 1st year at uni this year. Knew each other in high school through tennis and badminton but got to know each other properly this year cause we study/hang out together. I told him that I became a Christian and he's been constantly saying 'bro you're too Christian' for so many things, like swearing, explicit content and... sleeping early!? It's good that he sees something different with me but I want him to know that being a Christian is not about being a good person and the transformation God has made on me. Some background about Blair; From the North Island, met him this year through my friends because they play badminton. His parents are Christian. Went to an Anglican high school, but he says that he is not Christian. He cracks up every time I say, ' Big Chungus' 😂 Last night I walked home with Nic and there was an opportunity for me to create a spiritual conversation but I didn't make it happen and I was fed up with that, there were also two opportunities with another friend with Blair this week which I didn't act upon. Nic hinted that he would like to play a game of tennis and I prayed that evening that we would be able to hit tomorrow and that I would be able to share the gospel with him. We managed to make a time and we played which was fun and at the end, we were packing up, about to leave our separate ways and I was so sad cause I didn't get to share the gospel to him. But then he followed me to my bike and sat down on a bench beside it, browsing on his phone... I was like 'okay God, this is it, you've given me an opportunity, please gimme a kick to start speaking about you'. I sat beside him and after a talk about gaming and then some silence I said, 'You know how much God means to me. I have this app (GodTools) that helps explain my faith. Would you mind me sharing this with you and you can tell me what you think?' He said sure and we went through the Knowing God Personally (KGP) booklet and it was really cool but he got distracted 3 times and started searching stuff up on his phone. Two times I was able to bring it back in but the last time he got distracted was when we went through 'During the forty days after he [Jesus] suffered and died, he appeared to the apostles...' and he was like oh that reminds me of the twelve apostles in Melbourne 😂 (collection of limestone stacks) and searches that up and starts talking about his experience there. And then he forgot about the KGP and stood up and the conversation moved on from there... He did seem to be open and understand it up to that point, admitting that he is a sinner. It was a really cool experience; sharing to a friend! God made it all happen and used me to do it which is such an honour! I pray for continued openness and more spiritual conversations!
  22. Day 132 (42|90) (10/05/19) Friday 90 STRAIGHT DAYS OF NO GAMING Boy oh boy, it has been a surreal journey and I'm glad it's not over; I'm here for the long haul bois! I do not regret the decision to completely quit gaming whatsoever! Thank you @Cam Adair for creating this loving community, your passion for this cause and putting everything you have into this! You've changed my life! Thank you so much @Mouxine, @zeke365, @Deku, @Average_Guy, @TwoSidedLife, @Lea, @Leo The Revenat, @Hobedaga, @JPAO, @goodbill, @Sapuverell, @30_yrs_of_gaming for your support and taking the time to write comments and caring for me! It's made the journey a lot of fun and each of your stories greatly encourages me! Writing this journal every day has not been easy but it has been well worth it, it's helped me see how I've lived my day out, see how God has been working and it's nice to reflect on past days. I'm really grateful for every day, especially my relapse (Day 42) it's been a good reminder when temptations are strong. God has been shaped me so much during this time, it's been absolutely mind-boggling how fast he's going! Before this, people were saying, 'Man you're growing so fast!' but they didn't know that I was stunting my growth because of selfishness and stubbornness, and I actually wasn't close to God at all, I was doing things out of duty and not even talking to Him, reading His word or acknowledging the great things he has done. I was a lukewarm Christian. During all this, God has done so much to me. There was a point when my attitude changed from 'oh man it's time to go to church' to 'yay it's church time!' and that was a big shock when I realised what God did. God has given me a passion for prayer and reading the Bible, and He has been guiding and convicting me heaps through both. It still boggles me looking at my prayer life and quiet time before and after I started this... The time that I've spent with God instead of gaming and youtube and social media has been invaluable! I wouldn't trade any of it! I am more aware of God's presence acting around me, thankful for everything moment and gifts He provides and I love and trust Him more than ever. Life has its ups and downs, but God has always been there to humble me and lift me up. And that is why I am not afraid of anything. Thank you so much, God, you are my everything ❤️
  23. Day 131 (42|89) (09/05/19) Thursday I stayed at uni til 10pm with Kevin, Blair, and Nic. Kevin told me about an issue that had come up...
  24. Aww man tough day... well done on not giving in to temptation! Stay strong, take it one step at a time. Have a good night's rest bro, you deserve it. Praying for you!
  25. Day 130 (42|88) (08/05/19) Wednesday I got to hear from Julie Collins - Head of Forestry New Zealand! She was doing a seminar and since I don't know much about Forestry and didn't know who she was, I got bored and nearly fell asleep. It was at around 30 minutes in that I searched her up and when I saw her title I was WOKE for the rest of it 😂
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