Rick Boon

Day 9 It's friday. I'm having a good time. Being busy with chores, groceries and the coming of a visitor. I had to apologize to her because i left our contact die. It was very relaxed, and we had some good talks. Nothing more to say about it. I feel good Day 10 Today i just stopped. Installed 1 game, played for a few hoursLot of thoughts, can't get anything done.Went to bed very late.I'm aware that i'm going into that negative spiral. I just hope tomorrow will be better. Day 11 Woke up with a beautiful view. SNOW! We almost didn't have any, but i felt so happy this morning because of it. Went from Game-mode, out of my head to "how much and what activities wil i do today in the snow?"Going outside. Having a great time, building a snowman, and sitting on a sleigh that my neighbours rigged up behind one of their 2 ponies! After that i started to build the snowbed from the video, in which i later on jumped at. Love to do stunts like that when i'm happy.When i went into my room after that, i had stil installed my game. I played it for 3 hours straight. Constantly being reminded by my conscience about the deathtrap i'm about to jump in. Then out of nothing i get that vibe, that i need to quit, and get my shit together. So i dissociate myself in my head from the game, and ask my younger brother to finish the transfer of my steam account to him. I'm now waiting for him on skype. Gonna do 1 worksheet and i'm going to organize my whiteboard! I'm motivated to do that, because i want to show a picture of it and feel good about the whole thing for a bit. That's all for now. Wish you, reader, a good week.

i'll update my journal this evening. just wanted to let you guys know that yesterday i had a bad day, today a very nice day. We have snow here! And im in love with snow, so i made a video today (actually my roomies filmed) where i enjoy the white substantion. https://youtu.be/8GPw3CdQQhk

Linds,... you are brave.

ye i am.

Hey Alex, your making a huge step and this is great! your making your own choice, instead of letting your games control your behaviour. Stay strong! A lot of people here will support you in your journey.

Hi Tan, good luck to you! there are a lot of answers on the forum and in Respawn itself. Your not alone, there are a lot of people who will support you here.

I'm so new to stuff like this. thanks for your help EDIT: your video "how to get out of the funk" helped me actually this morning to take action again.

Day 7 Thinks start to crumble. I'm feeling numb and tired throughout the day. No energy. I went into 'do-it-later-' mode and skipped most of the stuff i had planned. I had a small relapse and searched for some browser games. Trying not to be harsh on myself. Day 8 I maintained my day structure (getting out of bed on time etc). The whole day i'm mostly in my head. Lots of thoughts, like "am i giving up now, already?" or "i can still turn this around, get back on track". Massive battle going on in my mind. I'm not having a hard time to resist gaming today, but i'm feeling more often 'bored', 'tired and wanna relax' or just having some hiccups entertaining myself. I think (and in my heart i know so) i need to take more action. Like writing down the activities (that is the current worksheet i'm on now) to answer my moods, and to summarize all the stuff i have written down so far, then i want to print some useful tips and hang that on my bulletin board. One of the few good moments today is that i got my whiteboard this morning. I have big plans for it, not specifically for GameQuitters, but also to finish my week-plan. I will actually make a photo of it when its finished, will help to actually do it. Not going to say anything more, i'm tired and going to bed. Tomorrow i'm going to do: the next lesson of respawn + worksheetstay committed to my agendaplace my whiteboardAt last, i had a good idea to add to my journal. Others have a gratitude list or 'being thankfull for' list. I came up with a "Things that made me smile today" list. Here you go. Things that made me smile today: I watched the movie “finding neverland”. I smiled when i saw the writer playing with children, i saw him enjoy it. I felt happy. I felt like “that’s me”. I like to play with children also and be someone who can still 'play', not in a childish way but in a children's way.

Day 6 I'm feeling tired the whole day. I slept like 4 hours last night. Also i'm having these strange calm moments. I was almost bored today, i recognized that because my i was almost going to surf on the web for some browsergames. Then i noticed my thinking. Since yesterday i'm less angry, but still have a little bit left. It's mainly because i feel unable to make a connection with a girl i like. I did yesterday evening however my best manner to process intens anger or deep sadness (had that last one this afternoon), and that was to write my feeling down on paper. I .. had some other things i wanted to write in this journal, but i just forgot them. Oh, i did this evening the next module, which was "Fill the void". I think it came right in time, because it was about answering the right moods wiht the right activities. I feel actually good about that, because i have already much something like that, its a lost of things i can do, i splitted them in "regular" (at weekly base) and "un-regular" (is that a word?). With this module, i can even better reply certain situations. I will write and print those 5 sentences of what activity to do in what situation and hang it on my wall. Thx for your tip Cam, it's a little bit funny for me, because i never thought of that, but it is exactly what i could do in such a mood. I actually had a vague plan to join a gym, using a discount payment plan with a friend (we live in the same building). That's all for now. I'm going to bed, sleep well, me and you.

Kortheo i'm just finished reading through your Challenge journal and its amazing! It gives me some assurance what you can reach in such a short time (i mean what is 30 days, or 90 in a whole life?). Your dance video made me laugh, not out of pity but because i'm shitting my own pants out of tension that i need to do that to once. In general i really can identify lots of characteristics (the analytical part, comfort zone etc). I'm going to do it your way to, having an different journal for my challenge only. Thanks for writing it

Day 5 Alright, i'm going to insert some of that Cam. So yesterday i planned to share in the evening to. However i came to hear the tragic news of the dead of someone i knew. Not close, but she worked on the terrain, the same project as i do. I had to process that. I had a good day despite the news. I worked a little, did a lot of organizing and called my sister, who will almost give birth to my second nephew. Lot of mixed feelings as i recall. Today i'm pretty relaxed, and calm. No game thoughts, no urge for gaming. I came to understand that the challenge is an additional course, áfter respawn? Of course i will do it, but now i'll just wait until i'm done with Respawn. I like the pace i'm going at right now. I had some other rehab periods, and the first week(s) was/were always fantastic. Now i'm going slower, and i think i'm doing better thereby. What i will do this evening: Doing 1 or 2 lessons of Respawn.Searching for a fitting study. First i wanted to join the police. But stories on the forum made me realize that it is really hard to get in. So i will not set my hopes only on that. I need a good second choice.Have a great week everyone! EDIT: I'm feeling freaking petulant right now, very irritable. I want to have people around me, just having someone next to me on the couch but not feeling any need to talk. Want to punch something. Some game thoughts come up, but not much, and not in a stream.

Hi Mark! one question i almost instantly had was: What job do you have?

That is .. deep.. I'm going to summarize it a bit for in my personal map! I think it connects seamless on Respawn. There is a lot to say about it, but i need to go dinner

Your journal is an inspiration to read through Mario EDIT: your week off (what became 5 days) is something i definitely will consider over 2 months or longer. Also to bad i spend all my rep for today already

"since quitting games, it seems like my failures are still better than the successes of my gaming days" going on my wall very soon

It's still has been very good on me. I think mainly because i took this step (deleting games only) already 4 or 5 times earlier. Now i also deleted my characters, ánd people where i live made me see that i needed to take to commit to my real life, my study that i want to start. these 2 things are right now my biggest motivators. Also, i do the same as you, reading the boards and processes of others. Soak everything in. I think we can learn from eachother!

oooooh, dat makes it a lot more clear Cam! Day 4 (morning) It's sunday. I'm enjoying the morning with a cup of coffee, relaxing music and reading some news. I just sent an email to my family, about my quitting. It starts to slowly blend in into my mind.. So i asked yesterday my younger brother to take over my steam account. He responded this morning that he can do that. Just need to figure out now hów exactly, but that shouldnt give any obstacles. And i just had a very bizarre moment. Was looking out of my french doors? (got almost no yard but 2 doors from my room to the ramp of the neighbours) and i saw my dwarf character outside pointing at me, talking to his other appearances (had like 7 different outfits). Ofcourse it was my fantasy, but it was fun and motivating at the same time, like they where scared. Oh, and before i forget (meant to write this in yesterday's journal), i'm really curious how today will be going. Usually the weekends are my biggest pitfall. No structure from the week (coffee breaks, work in the morning). Just a big hole. Ofcourse yesterday did go very well, but today i will be working at my laptop most of the time, for researching my study, writing a bit, etc. You will hear in my evening journal how it went. Right now i'm going to do one more lesson of respawn, and explore the challenge. I planned to do that already, but time was my enemy. Wish everyone else also a good day!

Alright, time to take action. Day 3 I'm setting up before my laptop. The last 2 days i always start writing in the evening. In my journal and sometimes the forum. I think i like it to have a specific time to do this stuff. Starting doing Worksheet number 1 fundamentals (didnt understand how to do them yet. but just saw the button: 'fill in and sign' or whatever, its in dutch hehe). Reading this: "you have a structured way to find your sense of purpose, a goal and mission to work towards" holy cow. that's all written over myself, branded into my brain. real insight.Added 1 personal reason why i played games: "I can be the hero, my fantasy becomes for a part real (got a lot of fantasy, used to ventilate it into writing blogs, stories and chapters for a book).Finished worksheet 1. starting worksheet 2 fundamentals. Finished worksheet 2I also thought more about my way of using this journal. I'm not gonna sum up what i do the whole day. I use lists all the time, in my agenda or a blank sheet. So thats not me. Anyone has some tips however what i should consider adding to my journal everyday? or once a week? A little bit lost here about what comes in handy or not. EDIT: just listening and reading to Poweroff module and worksheet. It really suggest "Delete your steam account", man, my stomach is turning. What if i don't do that? will it hold me back? i'm also reading a post of a guy that suggest 'handing' it over to a friend or family member. I'm gonna go with that option. I'm going to bed.

Hi Osei, I did exactly the same, writing on this forum to confirm, validate it to myself, in my head that i was really quitting. I will keep reading your updates, (I actually made my own decision to quit only last wednesday evening!).

Hi everyone, Today is my second day of quitting, and according to the plan i need to start a journal. Couldn't get it out yesterday because i somehow went stuck on what title i should give my journal. I did however already a fair amount of reading in other journals and topics. Try to soak it in, step by step. So i will just dive in. Day 2 Yesterday and today i still cannot believe what i did. What i exactly did was deleting my characters in-game. Previous attempts of quitting i always just de-installed my games. This time it feels like ripping my own flesh from my body, but still with a very neutral, detached feeling. Like it didn't happen for real. Since i took the step in my mind, and applied it i feel ... um.. a bit blank, gray. I do my thing throughout the day, i'm not thinking yet about my games, only once in a while a thought will occur in my mind, like how it felt or looked like. I feel the urgency however to start building 'momentum' like it was mentioned a few times. My process until now: i have seen the first 2 videos of module one. I discovered the worksheets, which i'm going to practice from this day on. I also just purchased the "challenge", and i'm reading right now the Challenge first pages. Everything that i feel is important to me i write down on my notebook, that lays before my laptop. um.. tomorrow i will explain a bit more how i'm going to use and write this journal. I have seen a lot of examples on other people's posts, but i need to think more about my approach, atleast i think so Right now i'm having a hard time, as i do not yet understand to who i'm talking to. Myself? the crowd? I need to go. I will update this journal évery day. I like short but powerful updates, so no text walls from me.