Rick Boon

an update: I have taken some steps into looking for a new voluntary place to work. I have fallen back into evading every obligation i had for three days (monday to wednesday). I had a great conversation with a friend, or some sort of mentor he is, and he had some very interesting arguments for the mental health care i have now. A strong opinion he had about how the coaching should be much more intensive, more personal attention. It was not an eye-opener moment but more a "darn he is probably right". It made me think strongly regarding my progress (which has been slow to put it mildly). I am right now in the making of a 1 year goal list. oh, and before i forget. I had a very clear moment. My activities are all just fine, i have different things, lots of variation but i miss one thing. action. Right now my weeks are so boring, i mean, i sport, i watch movies, i socialize (a little bit), but i miss pure action, the rush, the feeling i might not be able to complete/make it. I will come up with a activity for this one, but it might take some time. Cheers

This is actually a very good tip, i noticed i do (and now did) the same, and although it is mostly worth it and interesting, it is also a time drainer. Btw how did that bald head felt like for the first time? i'm just picturing some sort of Mr. Heisenbergggggg here!

Jared! Welcome to the forum.This is a great place to get back on track again, with the program, the people and the forum.

Today i had a good day. This week is my last one in the voluntary project i'm in, and i need to find something new. So far i havent get to it actively, i wanted to bike around and see if there are openings somewhere, anyway, i get to that either this Thursday or Tuesday. What i also want to share is that it feels great to join at Discord everyday. It is a so much faster way to ask for small advice, or just get to know each other better then people's journal. I had a full day today, tomorrow i make a longer post because i want to get some insight how i'm going to proceed, now that this is my last try (or do) at quitting games. One thing i fully commit already is to do a quick summarize of respawn and after that i will place my 4 needs and label them to the activities i already have. If i miss out on a need i will come up with a well considered activity for that need. I already got one, and it's this: Mentally engaged: contribute to a little project, that is; i'm trying to develop a board game/tabletop game. It has a lot of strategy involved, and i want to see how far i can get. Greetz, Rick

Hey Luquelli, welcome here! I'm really excited to see your progress, good to hear you (re?)started bass playing. Keep making new habits!

Good to see you here Ashley K.! How is it going? i can really endorse WorkInProgress's advice! did you use some of his tips?

Hey Zeeko i'm following your progress and really excited to see what you will accomplish!

Hey Robin how is it going? i'm exited to hear what progress you made Also i wondered, before going to the gym, did you do like calisthenics or something?

So i relapsed for like 2 months. Gamed almost everday, had some good days but most of the time i'm just struggling against thoughts. It feels f*cked actually, to get these hiccups of good days, this taste of the good life but not being able to get there. I can't hold on to this. My mental coach pushed me hard to get a hold of my behaviour. If i can't commit to a new agreement we made they want me to follow/join yet another program to deal with my addiction. Just writing this down i feel depressed. Like i'm in self-pity mode all the time. Anyway, let me tell you want happend, and what i want to learn from it. When i started my course i 'loaned' my steam account to my younger brother, so i couldnt acces it anymore. But 2 months ago i asked for it back, in moment of boredom and craving. Of course i had excuses why he should give it back to me ("ye i'm going to delete it with my coach" i said, "it's my account, it's my decision!" i said) and so it happend that i had the possibility to game again. I wasnt be able to maintain the integrity and momentum i had build and well.. it was back to rockbottom. And still i feel deep down a small resistance in my heart.to be more then what i am now. To reach out for the ceiling instead my cup of coffee. I actually did manage this week despite my gaming to complete all the steps for deleting my steam account, only one remaing, which is to submit a picture of my id or passport. I'm very anxious about it tho, because i know it's not completely the gaming, but also the need behind it, the dissatisfaction of how my life looks like now. Yeah i'm going to do it, i know it's an important step because it allows me to not handle with that temptation anymore. And that way i can think and act much easier and with more space in my thinking. Right now the overthinking of all the things i did NOT do is dragging me down, and i'm tired of it. I'm fucking tired of my overthinking, the holding back, the lack of true enthousiasme for almost anything, the changing in my personality which means; being more numb, being reserved. I never was someone like that before my 17th. And i never was that person on the detox (rehab) course. Just.. hear my rant and don't react to it. Let me tell you what i will do: restart my challenge.get back to journaling, and create a very simple format. And above all: write down the reason WHY i journal (just for myself, not for anybody else).stop thinking about the right way i should act, the right way i should think, the right way i should be. This is like a major energy drainer.start each day small again, the way i did it in my succes time while i kept commited to gamequitters and all the tools provided.Go early to bed.

Hey Zack, welcome to the forum. There is a lot of knowledge and people here who will help you with all the different phases you are going to get through!

Hi Viking. Have you decided already? From what i gather you ask people if it hélped when they sold their gaming gear? Let me tell you quick my own story. I have made the decision to stop gaming like 6 or 7 times, those are the serious steps i made. Every time i made the decision to quit, i did something drastic. The reason for that was because it made my decision much more final and i always felt i hád to do it because i thought (and still think) it was holding me back. I think out of the 6 times i sold my laptop or pc 3 times and bought a cheap piece of shit instead . So my question is much more: do YOU think you need to sell? if you feel its holding you back in your life, process or whatever your reasons are anyway to quit gaming, then go with your guts. If they tell you to sell, do it. If it says you think you can manage the possibility to get back into games because you have all the tools but you won't do it, then stick with that! (no pun or sarcasm)

I'm stuckkkkkkkk. It sucks. I got my steam account back from my brother. I promised him that i would delete it. I immidiatly bought dawn of war 2 and played the whole night, literally. that was sunday, monday i felt very bad the whole day. Was not feeling well as in health, and structure. Was scared to get out of my room. This tuesday i was in time at work, and i had a general good morning. Got a lot of thoughts right now, but i dont wanna talk about it. I want to talk less and do more. I know i have all the tricks and tools to check in to life. And i'm gonna do it. Last post of travis (saw it via facebook) was about going for fulfillment instead of wanting entertainment the whole time. That helped me a bit of thinking about what i was doing. One small other thing i'm struggling with, and i really like advice from anyone if you have something to add. It's about this; i have read very much, on this forum, quora etc. Lots of articles about self improvement etc. No books tho but i don't think i really miss out on anything. And that's my problem to. I always think i miss out on something if i DON'T read that article with the fancy title. And after i have read something i really want to apply, i get scared that i will forget it. Which i do, with most of the stuff. My question is; is this normal? how do you, reader, apply stuff that you dont want to forget? And do you have any tips or methods how i can process all of the information the right way? I get drowned so fast in all kinds of info and it has the effect that i lose focus on my main pilars in life (ye its that big a deal hehe). Any advice welcome!

Real fast some tips and what i experienced. When i started different projects in mental health care (1 for my autism, 1 for my addiction and smaller ones all the time to) i had build a bad reputation. I think almost everyone here can affirm that your standing with your non-gaming friends, family and loved ones is, well, quite bad or low or just not at all alive. It's this template of concrete that has surrounded and influenced a lot in your life. When i started to work on myself it was not really a 1 day job. I discovered then that if i wanted to let my family see that i wanted to change, all i could do was show them. Because i could talk about it all the time, but that was precisely my problem, to much talking about it then then start doing. Now i understand that's not your position because you started doing some months ago . What i mean to say is that you have to break that wall around you. It exists mainly from your and people's view on you. Change 1 small thing and then move on to bigger ones. Your father still sees you as the guy who was gaming, and keep breaking promises or who kept gaming full nights or whatever your thing was. He still believes you are the old you. I suggest you show them. If that isn't enough have 1 serious talk about all of this, show him the forum, your posts, tell him what your priorities are now and how you are improving. Don't know if this is what you wanted to hear, but i felt these where the words i wanted to tell! Keep focus, your improving and working on yourself, it's great and it shows you are taking freaking awesome control of your own life. Rick

Ye was a very good video actually. Very specific, i like that.

Quick post. Had a FULL week. And some bad days to. I update my challenge journal tomorrow, i plan to do every challenge first on my notebook (ye a real one, from paper), that way i can without any distraction fully focus. I finished the letter today, so i will write that tomorrow in my journal. What i'm trying to say is that i'm not sure i can do a challenge each day, is that a bad thing? for instance, my monday and wednesday's are swamped. I have between activities a 30m break tops on these days. I'm free in the evening from around 7pm, but i gather some challenges require me to do them in a afternoon, thats why i cant do a challenge each day. I felt really good and happy today, enjoyed that to the fullest. How i jump into each day is pretty much; i just see how it goes. i do my thing, i am focused on what i want to complete and i don't need to feel happy or overly joyful all the time, i dont require that from myself. I did that at a certain point, it is a energy drain. Anyway, have a great week yourself to!

Hello Fellows! It's been quite some time, but today i will start journaling a little bit more, atleast in the challenge section. Today i start my Gamequiters Challenge! Kinda anxious about it but also exited. I look forward to extend my comfort zone. So how has it been? well, very good and very bad. Hit rockbottom sometimes, not because i was gaming atleast. I havent had a relapse since months now. Handing over my steam and battle.net account to my younger brother has been the best thing i did since my quitting. It works even better then if i had deleted them. I can't ask my brother to give my accounts back. He succeeded in more paths in life then i and i can't bring myself to a point where i give up on myself and ask him, where i make it definitive that i'm a failure. You think i exaggerate? not at all! This is my burden, the demon of gaming hanging over my head. He will grab me again if i even send the facebook chat to my brother. Well thats how i think about it atleast hehe. Now, to continue.. i hit rockbottom because i was mostly down by my own thoughts. It was and is a war of the mind. But i had some great months to, i felt good. I took care of myself in meditation (or quiet-time) and i spoke about what bothered me to my friends and mental coach. I ventilated. I have been doing new things, trying different strategies and with each failure or battle/down time i learned more inside myself, took steps, started again and went back into reality. Now the time has come that i start my challenge. I'm really smiling right now because i feel this is time. I should have started it months ago, but that doesnt matter. The "i should do" is now "i will do". Thats how i start and end everyday together with some basic rules, just simple and easy. Your very welcome btw to keep track of my challenge. I like to share my experiences. Honestly, i like to do a bit crazy, and i except a lot of folly and jest! (ye i had to googletranslate that). Ask anything you like to know. Greetz, Rick EDIT: a link to my challenge: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/1821-roar-and-thunder-ironflys-raw-challenge/

Hey Sirtot! It's a great and really good step that you will start detoxing from both addictions. I did and am doing the same thing! Gaming and porn are imo very much related. If you used to do them both, you will find yourself stronger and more healthier in mind if you quit them both i can really speak from experience here that everytime i relapsed in gaming ór porn, it led to thoughts about the other addiction. basically what you arleady said, but i'm now almost 3 months further and it will pay off! you start seeing people (woman in my case) normal again, the momentum you build will be your defense when urges and cravings occur. We got your back here mate. Stay strong! Rick

Why the color change exactly? not saying the almost only black is bad, but you could use colors to attract certain things. Like on my whiteboard, my scheme is made from black, red and blue. black for all girders, red for the days and dayparts (morning,afternoon and evening), and blue for all the written things that i plan. Point is, it is a bit more cheerfully

oh thx! you havent found it yet? great to hear btw from you, as you are one of my examples on the forum who is succeeding long term good to hear that this step is on the route.

okay i am feeling really good and strong right now! need to journal to keep my mind ordered! I"m reading through the challenge section (especially your depression and experiences Cam) and i have a lot of thoughts flow through my mind. I write most of them down right now. But there are many lessons in the intro. How do i apply them all at onces? (is a question that occured to me just now). btw, i'm just rambling right now. Just some thoughts I need to spend less time doing all this self improvement stuff. I will still dedicate time to it, but i really want to experience much more then i search and read about it. There is a insight i find funny and amazing at the same time. Still reading through the pages and i find some sentences to be very similiar to my belief. I'm a christian and while i'm not a bit talker about it, it's one of my defining roots about how i see the world and it influences my actions big time. This is the sentence that i mean "I knew the answer was about creating the life you want". How i read this is "i knew the answer was about living the life that God wants". Is this not the same end-goal? with other tools and means but still somehow the same?! it's intriguing me a lot Stay tuned! i have the whole day for all of this stuff haha

Alright. I finished respawn, and today i start the challenge. I'm a bit anxious but also exited for it! I follow also the courses from Mark Manson (connection course right now) and i think the challenge and the connection course are a really good combination together. btw, i had a small relapse 2 days ago. I was tired, it was late, and i wanted to have fun. So i installed hots and played 3 games. The next day i played 2 games. But then i deinstalled. It was fun, but the whole time i was also thinking "if i do this other things will be less fun, other things in real life". So that was my counter. I do have 1 question about it, any answer is appreciated: Through the weeks and months that i havent gamed anymore, i lack a bit of a passion for something. IN general i'm passionate about doing this, manage my life, follow my structure, my agenda, do activities with the group but at the end of the evening i still think "i havent done today something that was equal to the rush of gaming". not all evenings, but a few per week. Any advice is welcome! Umm. let me think, i'm reading less in journals, but i think i will change that in the future. In specific i will read the long term journals, and see how they got through this phase i'm in now. Just for reference; i have enough activities and things planned everyday. Greetz, Rick

Great question. Right now, accountability to me isn't about not gaming, but rather taking steps to move forward with my life. But the principle is the same at every step of the way, I think. At the most basic level, you're going to be more likely to do something if someone is holding you to it; that much is obvious. It's doubly helpful when you might be struggling to do something that's good for you but you may face emotional resistance towards. Finding an accountability partner on this site might be a good first step if you find yourself struggling or maybe not making the progress that you wish you were. As for what it's doing for me specifically, I find that it keeps me honest in terms of making sure that I'm really applying myself and making the best progress in life that I can, instead of half-assing it or slacking off, frankly. thx so much! i am thinking about this for some weeks and i am making up my mind about it. I think i'm gonna do a last check wtih my mental coach, and probably then try to find a mentor/accountability person in my neighbourhoud, who can reach me in real life (so not only via this forum, fb or phone) easily. This is helping me a lot as i like to hear other experiences

I'm a bit curious, what does the acountability part exactly do for you right now? thx in advance for anything you might want to share!

Today i stumbled upon an article on Quora (i read a lot there) about setting up systems, instead of goals. Very interesting: https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-keep-yourself-focused-on-your-goals (then scroll down to Michael Kilcoyne's answer)

New journal update. I was feeling very good today, and decided to vlog it in stead of writing it down. The video is hidden, which means you can only acces it by clicking on the link. https://youtu.be/Ym8uqMSrJ7M