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Xaffat

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About Xaffat

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  1. Xaffat

    Hi everyone!

    Thanks guys, I'll do that. I was thinking myself that this might have been too much for a short introduction, but it kept flowing out. And it was kind of a relief to be honest for the first time really. Thanks for the welcome!
  2. Xaffat

    Hi everyone!

    Hey, just wanted to introduce myself and share my story. I'm Daniel, 26, living in Germany. I got my first Gameboy when I was 5 years old. From that point on gaming always was my retreat from daily struggle. A difficult childhood did the rest to complement my gaming addiction. I was always clever in school and talented in a lot of ways, but in order to make something out of that, you have to pursue things. I didn't. I wanted to. But I was too weak. My life was always comfortable, as our family never had any financial problems. I had no urge to change my life and my way of thinking. I managed to finished german highschool barely, as my grades got worse every year. I started studying at a private university, for which my parents paid for. I knew I'd fail when I started. I didn't say anything. I just let things happen and life go its way. I can play games and don't have to look at it. I even played on my laptop during class. I failed and got psychiatric care since I was so depressed. I am pretty sure that gaming never was the origin of my depression. But it surely helped to keep me down. I started a job and failed after 2 years for several reasons, gaming of course being one of the major ones. I started another part time study and talked myself into it. That I could manage it, since it's not full time university. Guess what, I failed. Well, technically I didn't fail, since I didn't study. I just kept playing. This time it was my girlfriend who had to look and watch as the inevitable disaster unfolded. She carried my lifestyle for almost 2 years. I am unemployed for almost one and a half year right now. What did I do? You already know. Right now I am with my back to the wall. I have no job. She will send me back to my parents when I don't find one till the end of October. They won't take me back so that they just have to watch my gaming obsession. Which will make me basically homeless. I am sick of gaming and sick of myself. I have to stop to live on the backs of others. The first step towards that, is to stop playing games. Playing games keeps me dumbed down and makes me sad. It's just that I am so used to it, that I don't know what and more importantly, how to do anything else. I know that quitting won't solve my problems in life. I quit once before a couple of years ago and it held for like 1 month. But after seeing your video on youtube today, I knew that I had to change more than that. Especially my mindset and way of thinking. I can't get rid of my computer since I have to write my applications but I deleted every game. This time, there is no going back. This is my last chance and for my sake, I won't fail. My whole life was a failure. This changes today. And I want to say thank you Cam, since your video was the tiny push I needed to activate myself.
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