Deku

I am actually really impressed with the progress you've made, especially all those early morning wakeups O_O Keep it up for sure!

Ended up dropping one of my classes this weekend (Vertebrate Neuro). It honestly killed me inside to do it because I really do like the course content, but my schedule is so insane it was probably the right thing to do. I'd much rather lighten my load a little bit and do well than crash and burn trying to go for those extra 3 credits and 0.02 points on my GPA.

Day 3 of the semester from hell. I spent the morning visiting a hospice patient, went to a class in the afternoon, helped run the Bio 21 orientation, and spent the night studying in preparation for the Hematology lecture tomorrow. It may be that the sleep deprivation is driving me slightly manic, but I´m feeling quite happy in spite of all the various commitments in my life. After spending years sitting in front of a computer screen bored out of my mind, it´s a great change of pace to have so much going on that there is always something to do. My coursework is very stimulating (so much human physiology--woo!) and while at first I was intimidated I´m starting to enjoy the challenge of competing against stronger opponents this semester. For all my fellow anime fans out there, you know when the protagonist is facing down an impossibly powerful opponent, and everyone thinks he´s absolutely insane for not backing down/giving up, and then he takes a deep breath and yells ¨BRIIIIING IIIIT!!!¨? It´s like that with me right now.

Had my first real full day of classes today, and oh my god I have so much to do. I really think I got a false sense of security after stomping my classes last semester, and now that I'm in classes with very motivated undergrads I've found myself far behind the general knowledge curve. It's really humbling and terrifying--there's just so little I know, and so much that I have to catch up on before the first exams roll around in a few weeks. Fun's over, time to get my shit together now.

Hello! The semester from hell is finally here! (For full details on my weekly schedule, please see the attached image below). It won't be easy to get through it, but I will defeat this monster. I tell myself that I'm not worthy of applying to medical schools if I can't handle this load--after all, I know there are students out there who can and are doing more. Things I did today: Toured some labs at UCSC this morning, filled out some paperwork at my university's bio department, went to vertebrate neurophysiology (lots of prospective medical students in that class, so I'm really motivated to give it all I've got), got some studying done and went to bible study at night. It was the first day in a leadership role in the class, and it was...weird for sure, "leading" people that have been religious for many more years than myself. I think my strategy going forward is going to be leading by example by putting my best foot forward in that class, rather than bossing people around. It's an early start tomorrow, so I have to bounce, but I will definitely try to find the time later in the week to put more energy into the forum. I've noticed there are so many new people all with wonderful stories, and I look forward to reading about all of them in depth once my schedule allows me to!

A couple of quiet days recently, guess it's the calm before the storm. I've been using this period of time, which has honestly felt like extended winter vacation, to advance my MCAT studies, keep up with my workouts and work on a couple of odd and end projects for bible study.

With a title like that how can I not follow this journal? Best of luck to you on your journey man ^__^

Classes have finally started! Feels good to be back ☺️ Now that I have commitments on commitments, I'm really going to be pinching seconds in order to keep up with MCAT prep. Thus, I''m going to play the slow and steady game with it--a committed 1% improvement every single day from now until the end of the semester. My hope is that finishing just a little bit daily, like a section or even just one difficult concept, will add up over time and help me take the test at a reasonable date. Hopefully it'll work out!

It was the first day of the Spring semester today! (Although technically classes don't start until Thursday). Pretty productive day--signed out a library locker, had an instructor meeting for Immunology lab, and did a resume coaching session at the career center. My resume got ripped apart but at least I know what to do better for next time. Imo 30 minutes well spent ^__^" Got an offer to teach a lab section of Bio 21 (freshman bio) for the upcoming semester and I am undecided as to whether I should do it or not. On one hand it would ensure that my whole tuition is covered, and I could really use the money...but on the other hand my schedule would be extremely saturated with all the commitments I'm doing. Decisions decisions...

Aw man got competition on here! You've motivated me to work even harder now ^_^

Damn reading through your journal I’m really impressed at how far you’ve come since day 1. I’m excited to see where you’ll be in another 90 days!

Beautiful calligraphy! Glad you're doing well ? And congrats on getting the shoutout on the forums page!

Thanks @Silverlining and @Lea for your kind words and advice! Today was actually a great day. Got a lot of work done, got my flu shot for free (thanks hospice volunteering job), and best of all, got offered a team leader spot in Bible Study for next semester! With it I'll be able to add another leadership activity to my med school resume, and I've hopefully secured my second recommendation letter for medical school.

Well that's one way to format your journal I guess ? I definitely found it quite entertaining though. I'll be following this one for sure!

I'm back baby! After an extremely restful night and a rather pensive morning I guess I've come to the conclusion that these kinds of things just happen. I can't control how other people feel, so I guess I should be focusing on the things that are within my power instead. Finishing that marathon, getting to the top of the mountain, acing that accursed MCAT exam, getting my ass into med school, these are the things that I should be using to bring myself happiness, not the feelings of some girl. Maybe I've been focusing too much on finding the right girl when really I should have been focusing on becoming the right guy.

Quality post, amen to most if not all of the things you wrote. I really think you hit on the head what makes gaming so appealing to people like me. Welcome to the forums btw! Hope to see you around regularly ?

This is probably going to be one of those posts that I retrospectively remove or laugh at, but I kind of just want to get something off my chest and this has historically been the best outlet for that kind of thing. I was texting Clarisse this evening (for those who don't remember, a girl from my bible study who I ended up crushing on for a bit--probably somewhere between pages 4-6 of this journal) and somehow the subject steered into the love/romance territory. After a bit of banter, Clarisse ended up telling me about this huge crush she had on her best friend, and even sent me this screenshot of a text she sent him as evidence of how much this guy meant to her. Wow, and I mean wow. That was a helluva text. She talked about how all his stress was her stress, how he could tell her anything, how she would go to any lengths to shield him from harm. She talked about how she was so glad that God had put this dude on the world to be in her life. I don't think even the lord himself could have written something so pure, emotional, and full of love. I don't know why but reading that just made me feel sick to my bones. It wasn't that I liked a girl who couldn't help but go on and on about some other guy. I guess it was...jealousy at the fact that this guy could get a quality girl to love him so much without even trying, when all of my effort and charm can't even get any woman to get more than one cup of coffee with me. Though I know it's stupid and ridiculous, it's times like these that I can't help but wonder, is there something wrong with me? Am I missing something important that every other dude on the planet seems to have? I'm too tired and exhausted to puzzle through it right now; I honestly feel like I've aged several years over the course of one night. My plan is to catch some zz's, get up tomorrow after 8 hours of sleep and hopefully feel a bit better. It's all I can do for myself right now.

Dunno yet! Actually, from what I hear the specialty chooses you, since most med students go with their favorite rotation in med school.

Had my phone call with my premed advisor, and it went...okay. My premed advisor said based on the positive progress I've made over the last semester, I should just keep doing what I'm doing and shoot for an application next cycle after I've finished my MCAT and racked up some good volunteering hours through hospice. If I can get a high score on my MCAT and get a good reference from hospice then I should be in a "decent" place to contest for a seat. That would mean that I'd be looking to submit my committee application this time next year, and formally applying in June 2020. That feels uncomfortably close, and I'm really motivated now to double-down on my MCAT studying efforts. It really does seem like the course of my future is riding on that one test.

Welcome and best of luck! You’ve definitely made the right decision to quit games ? Have you thought about what to do with all the time you’ve got now?

Been a hot moment since I last wrote here, but honestly there isn't too much to talk about. I updated my resume for my phone meeting with my premed advisor; it looks like hot garbage, so I'm also requesting a coaching session with the career center at my current university. I figure it's never a bad thing to have a professionally-approved resume on hand anyways. Hospice volunteering is progressing well and I have my first patient encounter on Wednesday. Looking forward to that. MCAT studying is progressing slowly as usual, but I've covered quite a lot of ground since the start of vacation--about 1.5 textbooks out of the 6 I'll need to read before the test. Rainier training is also moving slowly but steadily. At this point in my training I should be able to ascend 3500 vertical feet in 3 hours carrying 65 pounds, and last Saturday I was able to do it in half that time, so I'm well ahead of the training curve at this point. That's great news because I honestly don't know how much time I can dedicate to training once school begins. That's all for now, folks. I'll definitely update this when I've got more to say!

I don't even blame you, that sounds delicious and I'd probably have it close to every day ^_^"

Made an appointment with one of the premed advisors from my undergrad university for next Wednesday, and I'm ready for her to rip me a new one. Let's get it!

Yep I love prereading for lectures and it helped me out a lot as well last semester. That and reviewing immediately after class are great strategies for succeeding in the many huge, fast-paced courses in college. The only problem is it takes up a loot of time and discipline...but with your new study habits I don't see you having a problem there. Glad you're enjoying school now!

Had a good, productive day today. Saw one of my old flames with her new boyfriend, and rather than breaking down into a tiny ball of misery I ended up channeling all the anger and frustration into getting stuff done. Some highlights: -Woke up early in the morning and went for a 30 minute run -Went to bible study and reviewed my notes afterwards -Finished the CITI courses necessary to become an instructor next semester -Finished reading the Kaplan MCAT Biology/Physiology textbook cover to cover! My notes ended up taking up an entire spiral bound notebook, so regular review will be crucial or it's all going to be gone by next week. MCAT Biochemistry is up next. -Finished watching all the module videos for my volunteer position And it's not even 4:00 yet! Guess there's no excuse for not being able to achieve this much every day. My Rainier training plan calls for a 45 minute workout today, so I think I'll knock that one out right now. See you guys tomorrow!