Mohammad

I am very happy for you 🙂

It is interesting that you do not game even with the disappointment and boredom you, sometimes, get in life! Boredom and gaming are strongly correlated in my case; not sure how to deal with it.

Day 20: I played one game on day 19, but didn't play on day 20.

I have not been playing in the past 19 days. I am feeling tempted to play games again! The reason could be the long weekend! Not sure what to do now. @BooksandTreesThat's a very good idea. But, what kind of online activities can we do together! I cannot think of any. It is fun playing together! But, I know it negatively impacts my life so I really do not know what to do about it.

Congrats @BooksandTreesfor 117 weeks from gaming! It is motivating for me to see how far you came 🙂

I am back after a month of relapsing. I spent the last month playing 2-3 hours per day. It was not detrimental to my life and I enjoyed playing with my brothers. However, I was not able to do workout and read books in the past month. I spend the whole day working behind my desk so I believe two hours of gaming per day is very bad for my health anyway. It is interesting that my brothers are quite similar to me! After I told them that I want to delete league of legend account, my older brother agreed and he immediately removed his account as well. My younger brother who does not suffer from gaming addiction only removed the game from his computer. Today was the second day without gaming. I did daily workout and read books. I am on track again 🙂

Wow! it took 10 years for you to get here. That's right. I have been trying only for two years. I've got to try again.

I don't know what to do. I am not determined enough to start a new detox! I have played for about 2-4 hours everyday . I removed my steam account about a month ago to stop playing dota and now I am playing league of legends! LOL is even harder to abandon because my two brothers are also playing it! That reminds me of my childhood so there is quite of lot of positive feelings playing with them. However, I should do exercise and read books instead of gaming to be able to have a good night sleep and achieve long term satisfaction. Gaming at night makes me tired in the morning and it affects my productivity for the day. That is not acceptable so I know I gotta get rid of gaming anyway! It is just so hard to convince myself out of it and fight against strong temptation. I will try to focus more on my goals and plans to be able to resist the temptation.

Congratulation on 115 weeks! That is so amazing. how does it feel to be free of gaming for this long? I mean, isn't there any temptation? Is relapsing something of the past for you? I am not sure how many times you have relapse coming this far! I am asking this question because, as you know, I am having difficulty sticking to my detox for too long. After a few months, I feel good enough to get back to gaming and that's when the dissatisfaction starts to kick in and I start a new detox.

Just like me. I was hooked on the break too! I am happy you came back here again.

Thanks for your comment @BooksandTreesand @Bugg. Gaming is fun but it has some negative impacts on me. I feel lazy when I play. I was free for two weeks and I did only two workouts! That is bad enough. I spent the past two weeks gaming for about 3-4 hours per day. I don't think it is detrimental, but surely, it is a waste of time. I could do something worthwhile with that 30-40 hours spent on useless video gaming. I got to start a new detox. I am happy with my 70-day detox and I do not mind to start over. For the better, here we go with a new detox as of Jan. 3rd 2021. I am having some urges for gaming, that is completely normal. I have to commit myself to the plan and continue writing here to be on track. I will do workout, meditation and read before going to bed.

Wish you a happy 2021, @BooksandTrees

I was wondering how long have you been in contact with her? I think you should have met each other earlier. What's your opinion on this? I know that you have Covid-19 concerns, but isn't that too long of a wait?

On day 71, I did not play. I had strong urge but managed to control it and focused on my thesis revision. @BooksandTreesThanks for your advice. Honestly, I do not blame my bro. He did not really persuade me. He just offered and it was enough for me to relapse. I think I might have relapsed anyway because I had some temptations in the last few days. I think the main reason is that I am off for a week and I know that I should rest in this short period of time. As such, I am thinking why not game for a few days and then get back to work like before. So my main problem is that why taking it too seriously if I can start a new detox after the break? @BuggThank you for your message. I am clear about my goals. I know how important it is for me to become financially independent. Focusing on my goals, I managed to avoid gaming on day 71. About the fear, I think it is going away because after spending a day on my thesis, I realized it is totally under control. As such, I have no strong motivation not to game on my days off. I think the main reason I am trying not to relapse is that I do not want to reset my detox! This is not good enough to block the temptation. It is clear why I am feeling urged to play (having some time to spare) and I found it hard to convince myself out of it. I am not resetting the detox for now because it would be easier to continue relapsing if I do so. Thanks and I appreciate your feedback on this.

68, 69, 70: Unfortunately, I could not resist the temptation and I played with my bro again on day 69 and 70 for about two hours. I don't know what to do! I see that I am getting hooked again. I woke up today cleaning out the house to get some positive energy. I am going to go through my feelings and contemplate on my goals. It is really a bad time to relapse. I have to finish up my final thesis revision and defend it on January 11th! I am very scared of the situation!

11 hours of studying is a bit too much for me! I prefer to have at max 6-8 hours of focused work and spend at least a few hours on reading, exercising, etc every day. I believe persistence is the key to success. 11 hours may not be sustainable in the long run unless you are like Elon Musk! That you came along without gaming for 35 days is fantastic. Good job.

That's amazing 🙂 I think you are doing very well.

Day 65, 66, 67: On day 65, I played for an hour with my brother. I won't consider this a relapse because I played because I didn't want to say no to him, and it wasn't the game I am addicted too. @dasviraNo, they don't. They know I have wasted a lot of time with gaming, but they don't know about my addiction. I didn't really enjoy the game I played. However, I feel it is too risky to play again with him. I might got hooked in. I know it can trigger my addiction and I might ended up relapsing. Therefore, I will make excuse the next time and avoid gaming altogether. Thank you @BooksandTrees. You definitely helped me out of gaming. The fact that you followed my journal and gave me valuable advice really was the reason I came back here and continued writing. I did not play in day 66 and 67. In fact, I have been doing very well with my work and life in the past two months. in total, I have read 13 books from Nov. 2019. The last book I finished a few days ago was "Elon Musk" by Ashley Vance. I loved the book. I am now reading "zero to one" by Peter Thiel. I am set to get my PhD! Finally, I received permission to go to the oral examination on January 11th. I need to be vigilant; more than before!

Good job @dasvira! very comprehensive writings.

I am sorry to hear the bad news about your exam. Hopefully, you'll get it the next time. You have the perseverance to go for it again, so I am sure you'll be good.

Day 57 to 64: I did not have any temptation in the past week. However, today, my bro sent me a message to see if I was up for a game. I have not been playing with him since childhood. The game he offered was a game we used to play 15 years ago so it was very nostalgic. I was tempted to play and said okay. I looked at some youtubes too. Playing with my bro won't probably make me addicted because that is a different game; not the game I am addicted to. However, I ended up watching some youtubes about the game I was addicted to and I was tempted to play it after I saw a new update has arrived; it is one of the biggest update in the past year. I remembered the last day that I decided not to game again. In fact, I had that feeling written in my notes, so I went back to my notes and read through them. My feeling was very horrible that day! I felt desperate and disappointed about myself. The horrible feeling of that day was present today, and saved me today. I think I should make sure to read that note of my feelings every day to make sure that I do not forget how miserable my life can get if I come short resisting my gaming temptation.

Day 53 to 57: No gaming and no temptation. It's all good in the right direction.

Thank you @Jason70. Yes, thankfully, the vaccine is getting us through this pretty quickly. 😄

I am thrilled to see that it is working for you. Keep us updated. That is pretty exciting!

Day 51, 52, 53: Thank you @dasviraand @Jason70 for your comments. Yes, screen time is a real issue especially because of the pandemic. Too much strain on my eyes. I can't really tell the difference between my days. Basically, the same thing every day. Waking up, working at home and going to bed. all day long at home behind the screen! Hopefully, we are getting rid of Covid-19 pretty quickly. Anyway, the good thing is that I have no urge for gaming and I am able to enjoy my work. That's about it. I am getting there to my 90-day detox this time pretty easily, but yet, I know that I should not be proud about it. I am well aware of the risk and I think about it daily even though I am writing twice a week.