Hmmge

Sup! How are you doing? If things are bad, don't forget that this is a long-term effort. Losing a battle is fine, as long as you don't give up and keep fighting. As one of my teachers in high school said once to me that really stuck: "The only thing you need is the desire to desire".

Congratz! and it only took you 2 attempts am I right? Awesome work

What about No games: 90/90 though??? I think that is absolutely amazing! I know you could be much much better, but you could also be much worse! Definitely a thing worth celebrating and feeling good about! I can't say anything about the motivation to crush it right now, but hey, maybe later.

That is incredible. 90 days of no cigarettes and half a year of no games? Wow, I really admire you for this. Even if there are bad days you keep at it.

This is very powerful. Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden talks about this extensively. This type of self-sabotage is a form of holding on to an old identity. Your ego does not want you to change, because it has lived comfortably so far, so it thinks the best way to maximize chances of survival is to stay the same. This shit can dig super deep and ruins so many lives, I also feel the same thing. Life's hard^^

there is the RescueTime system that includes a desktop app and a browser extension, and I think there's a mobile app too but I'm not using that. They monitor everything you do and keep quite comprehensive statistics, activities divided into categories that you can adjust etc. It's really good, although of course, it is a gigantic spy machine so you have to be okay with knowing that.

23. Write down a list of things you want to do in the morning so that if you feel sluggish, you won't have to strain your willpower as much. Make it super bare-bones such as drink water; take medicine; brush teeth; change clothes etc. 24. If you know about sleep cycles and think that sleeping 7 hours is worse than sleeping 6 hours, you are being delusional and it's most likely just keeping you in a negative habit loop by sleeping less than you should. Waking up during REM time really only matters if you sleep less than 5 hours and/or are waking up naturally, without an alarm. 25. If normal alarms don't do it, install an app called "I can't wake up!". In this puppy, you can set up a set of challenges that you need to complete before the alarm stops. This includes some simple memory puzzles, math equations, assigning capitals to countries, typing exercises and more. It's fully customizable and can go from trivial to absolutely impossible. By the time I complete my set, my brain has already done 3 minutes of quite intensive logical thinking and is much more awake than normally. 26. Put your alarm device far enough that you have to walk out of bed. 27. Make sure to forgive yourself immediately after you oversleep. Taking responsibility is one thing, guilt and shame are another. One is beneficial, the other is not.

Love this^^

Mad respect for keeping strong during a bad period. Sickness is always such an easy excuse, I used to fall for it a lot during allergy season when I had hay fever.

That is epic! Did you also struggle with occasional depression / escapism in content consuming like many others do or just gaming? Are you completely free now - no cravings? Just curious

I am convinced it will pass away after a few days. Just have to fight through. C'mon, it would be too easy if you didn't have to fight.

Tough, but true words. Thanks for the inspiration! This is an old-timer journal so I'll just ask - have you finished the detox in the past? You seem to be doing great, nice to see.

Also, sometimes the fantasy of playing a game is much better than the reality of actually playing. The cravings make the imagination about how awesome it is more vivid, while in reality, it's going to be fun for just a little while and then it will be Boredom-and-Misery Town again.

I disagree. You're just looking at the wrong games, although I'm not going to name them here. I don't want to dispell your negative outlook towards games, but since you're opening this topic I might as well chip in because I'm procrastinating haha. Gaming has become a big industry and as with any big money business that has to cater to a broad audience, the goal is to minimize risk, not maximize the product quality. This is the same in music, movies, any entertainment industry, but also food, fashion, etc... If the industry is big enough, the most popular things are garbage. Think McDonalds, Justin Bieber, Star Wars: Battlefront etc. You have to look a bit deeper for quality, but trust me it is there.

I'm curious to see how it goes as I'm trying something similar. Good luck!

This is a belief you have of yourself. And although it might be true at the moment, there is no reason why it cannot change. Many people get stuck thinking they are introverts and that's just it, they will always suck at social interactions, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Social skill is a skill like any other - it can be learned, improved, or deprecated if not used. Talent comes into play, but like with all skills, it is only a minor factor. Check out this for example: https://youtu.be/7qsaxJCvahA?t=6m27s It's in the context of attraction & pick-up, but the skill is the same in any social setting.

Why would you pretend? Are you going to be bored because you think they are boring or you will be boring? What are you trying to achieve?

Realizing what is going on inside is the most important thing to improve so that's good! I just like to spread my views, I don't want to seem like lecturing. I mean.. I'm struggling with issues myself so sorry if it comes out as hypocritical hahah.

That sounds the same as watching gaming content = putting the cigarette in mouth but not lighting it, huh. One thing I remind myself of in situations like these is that people usually don't give a crap about others. So when approaching a group of people I might feel like they will be judging me, I have to come in there with a bang all alpha, I have to be funny etc etc. None of those are true. People genuinely don't give a shit. Think of how many times it happens at a party or event that somebody does something weird or embarrassing and people immediately forget and carry on with their thing. Everybody is worried about how he/she looks like in front of other people, which ironically makes them not care about others. So the pressure of thinking suddenly all eyes will be on you is fake. You can just go and hang out, talk to a random person on the edge of the group, no need to jump in the middle and breakdance you know? Of course that's not what you're deciding on, but that's how it can feel. Also, you can go for just 5 minutes to say hi and go back. This eases the pressure as well. Then, once you're in the social setting, things become easy and you will probably stay longer. Maybe this helps for next time?:p

Is sleeping during daytime a part of Ramadan? I thought it's about fasting. Seems pretty tough if that's the case huh. That kind of sleep is always less effective due to the hormonal cycles of your body. For example, the growth hormone production is at max at around 3-4am, which is when you should optimally be deep into sleep so that the body recovers best. So it should get better once you switch the regime back to normal.

Low productivity is indeed a problem and you need to work on that. But I think it's a good job on your part to not let yourself down for that by negative self-speak or watching gaming videos or any other destructive thing. Really good approach, keeping the hopes up!

Hang in there! I can relate to depression a little bit, it's horrible. Can't exactly give advice on that right now, BUT regarding youtube I might have a tip: You can keep off youtube completely while using a service to download certain things as mp3/mp4. For me it's very different emotionally to watch a video on youtube and to watch it pre-downloaded inside a media player. Those online websites download pretty slow anyways so you can't really binge-watch and you have no recommendations and such. So you can download tutorials for the guitar for example. I also download some self-help stuff as mp3 and listen to it as short podcasts while commuting. clipconverter.cc works good as long as you use adblock and learn to click on the right buttons

Thumbs up for being consistent and posting here despite feeling stressed. This way we can reach out to you and perhaps bump you towards a better state. Replied in the Relapse thread. Hang in there. Don't game, you're gonna regret it like I did.

Alright so I'm JUST coming out of a relapse so if you feel like I have no authority, feel free to disregard, but here are my two cents. There is a pattern I see in the community where people have a hard time around day ~40. Some cravings come back, some feelings of the past come up and even though you're living a much better life now, your old self kind of wakes up and is like OI, DONT YOU FORGET ABOUT ME. It is apparent to me that this is part of the process and completely normal. Now that I've succumbed to it, I will watch out next time(in 40 days haha). We all know what needs to be done right? It's just about resisting the stupid urge. It's about not being a fucking monkey that gets triggered and goes crazy when it sees a banana. You know you will feel like shit if you play. Maybe it will 'relieve stress' for a day or two, but the stress will come back 10x stronger because you will start ignoring real life and loose all self-control. It's the same rodeo we've been through. Read through your journal. From the beginning. Maybe read some other people's journals. Make yourself remember what the reason for all this is. And my last point specific to your situation: you have been studying for the exam all this time, it has been your goal, your objective, the main occupation of your mind all this time. Now that it's done, I think you might have some empty space in your life. I don't know you that well of course so it's up to you to determine, but it's something to consider. By empty space I mean not having a clear goal to strive towards. This is exactly what gaming provides you with - that shiny new league, you grind points, see them going up and your dopamine goes berserk. Find this in real life. Find the game in real life. Find a goal that is attractive and there is a rewarding path of mastery towards it. For me, I still have 1 default goal, which is finishing my degree, but since I'm not that passionate about it anymore, I have found myself another, that is the new league. This is a goal that really sparks my inspiration, goal that makes me clearly see what I need to work on and how to improve, goal that promises a greater life - which is something gaming cannot ever give you. Done, gg

Awesome that you're going out and it's having good effects, good idea! You say you're most likely not going to get in - what's your plan afterwards? Just curious