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Everything posted by JustTom

  1. Day 2 | Current weekly habit: 8 hours of sleep The day went pretty sick. Although I wrote up the post after I've already wasted like 4 hours watching videos(which was the last drop that made be include it in the detox), right after I finished I went to the uni and crushed it for about 9 hours. Even though the final project deadline is super close, I think if I stay focused I can do baarely do this(which is great because just yesterday I was absolutely fucked). Feelings: Whenever my mind wandered off of working, I thought about games. I didn't try to fight it, I just employed the meditation mindset of just observing the thoughts, the cravings, and accepting them as a part of me. I know they will pass and it's okay to have them. I also found myself alt-tabbing to this forum ALL the time. Very anxious, but I think that's just a mind that is in distress and lacks instant gratification that it was used to for so long. Achievement: I think this was the first time after YEARS that I have not watched some stupid gaming video while eating lunch. Unbelievable. I'm going home now and will do another unbelievable thing - just take a shower and go straight to bed. I need to wake up at 10 while hitting those 8 hours. CAN HE DO IT? FIND OUT NEXT ON TOM'S JOURNEY TO EXCELLENCE. ******************************************************************************************************** Thanks. I've actually already listened to The Willpower Instinct, sick book for sure!
  2. Thanks man I appreciate it. I read your intro, we are quite similar in many things indeed. Since you are starting the detox at the same time, I might check up on you here and there. It's going to suck and be painful/uncomfortable and we have to forgo a lot of things we used to love, but I am confident that it's worth it.
  3. Also think about this - with that extra time not gaming these 3 months, you can go out and possibly meet another girl, eh? ;)
  4. Alright I did that as well here: I really need to succeed at this. I feel like this is the biggest opportunity for growth I have at this moment. Thanks for support, I will be checking in.
  5. Hoi! This will not be a daily journal, but rather whenever I have time and/or energy - journal. I have expanded the standard 90-day-detox a little bit with ideas that I think are very necessary for me. The strategy is as follows: No games No mindless videos Mindless videos are any vids that I would just watch without any productive purpose. So tutorials on anything I do is fine as long as I first thought of learning that skill and then searched the video, as opposed to stumbling upon something by chance and then justifying it as 'educational'. "Relapsing" at videos can only reset my counter if they are gaming-related. Weekly habit building Every week, I establish a new habit from a list. These habits are small parts of bigger rituals, that individually quite easy to implement. If I succeed at that habit for 7 days without much trouble, I pick up another one. If not, I either take 1 more week or break it down into even smaller and easier habits. Of course I can try to do more than just that one thing if I feel like it, but that's where the focus is. At the end of the detox, I can decide to go back to gaming and youtube if I choose to I decided to quit youtube videos as well because it became a problem for me. Whenever I would try to limit playing games, I would just watch more vids. Doesn't have to be gaming, I can binge watch personal development for hours on end and not do any work the whole day. I see no difference with games in this regard. It's all just escapism, the fear of real life struggle that is to come, the fear of not being comfortable, the fear of engaging other people and being vulnerable. All of this can be escaped with games or drugs or videos or TV or any other addiction, it's all the same. I'm not going to go too specific into activities right now because of anonimity paranoia. But for a relaxing activity that should replace gaming and videos when I am genuinely tired after a day of hustling, I will be reading a book or messing around with music in my DAW. Although it has been an active hobby in the past that I always felt anxious about starting it because of infrequency, I will take it more casually this time. I will not treat it as 'music production' and really as just fooling around, clicking on some sounds to relax rather than try to actually make music. Obviously music production and composition is something that requires endless hours to master so since I only open it here and there, I am bound to suck, but that's okay because it's just for fun. The list of mini-habits: (DONE) 8 hours of sleep Not browsing the internet after I wake up(instead read or just do nothing for a while) Not browsing the internet before bed Read before bed Evening ritual Drinking water after the first alarm ring Reading mission statement(evening/morning or both) Waking up on the first alarm ring Morning ritual Visualizing/meditation (DONE) Keeping a dream journal(for lucid dreaming) Reality checks This list will probably change and/or expand as well. I do not mention any exercise because that is kind of a thing that comes to me naturally when I am being productive and conscious in general. Current detox streak: 2 days. Current weekly habit: Sleep for 8 hours every day.
  6. Thanks for the advice folks. Few days after I made the post I have indeed decided to take the detox for the first time. I got the final push after going to an exam completely unprepared because of gaming. That exam was a resulting fail. I legitimately thought that once I made a firm decision, it wouldn't be difficult to finish 90 days. However, things are obviously not as easy in reality and I found myself relapsing just 4 days in. I am currently in a pretty bad place mentally, so ignoring instant-gratification is difficult. After spending the entire evening and night gaming and the following day sleeping until afternoon, I deleted everything again, recuperated and recommited myself, so that I am on track now again. I still feel the pull very strongly, but I will do my best to keep going because I know the cravings will pass. I made a plan with specific activities and a little habit-building system. When it comes to self-help, I know my shit. It just comes down to execution, so wish me luck. I might post updates sometimes, maybe even open a journal eventually if I feel like it.
  7. Sup! I'm Tom and this is my first post. The damage gaming is doing to me isn't that bad and maybe that's the issue. I haven't really had any great failures(yet), but my life is mediocre at best and I know I could excel so so much if I didn't spend any time on gaming. I fight it all the time, that's why it managed to not ruin my life yet. I have phases where I work hard, only to relapse for a week or two, playing 16 hours per day and then have to work super hard again to make up for the time loss, leaving me no time for social life or developing my own projects I have a full folder of. I know 100% that I'm addicted and moderation is not an option. I got rid of the most cancerous games that are blatantly using psychological techniques to keep you addicted(daily quests, progression systems etc.) like hearthstone and league, but I always relapse to other games anyways. Even if starts out inoccent However, I can't get myself to decide to take the detox and quit. I know that if I did, I would succeed, but I just feel so uneasy when thinking about actually doing it. Maybe nostalgia, maybe separating from one of my best friends, maybe it's just a part of my identity even if I don't want to admit it. I don't know. Maybe it's the lack of closure that is ever present with games. - "Oh I haven't finished the campaign of this game yet, I can't quit now, that would be a waste of all that time I put into it!" (therefore I should waste even more trying to finish, right?) - "Oh but there are these one or two youtubers that are really inspiring to me, DESPITE playing games! I don't want to stop following THEM!" - "Oh but there are these artistic and philosophical games that are not that long and really make you think and feel the interactive art experience, I value that!" - "But when I come home after a 12 hour hustle, I need some time to unwind where I can not focus for a bit and there's only so many TV shows - what do I do instead?" I don't know. There are many excuses my subconscious makes. Maybe some of them are even legit, but I don't think any of them are worth the toll it's taking on my POTENTIAL. Because that's all that it's hurting, for me. Let's face it, if you live in the western world, you have it preeeetty good even if you don't do shit. I am soon to be 24, financed by parents to study a master's programme and my job prospects are very good in my field. So even if I remain average, I can get by just playing video games. But that's not really what I want. I want the killer, ever so cliche lifestyle where I travel, have amazing friends, rich sex life, building my own business to have impact on the world for the better, express myself and use my talents and all that good stuff you've heard about. I know how to build it, more or less, but then I always game for a few days, which is exactly the extra time I should be putting into that life building, leaving me always the same old mediocre dude. I just can't seem to be able to pull the trigger. Any advice?
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