WorkInProgress

@cam Skip this if you dont want to read my brainfarts: There is jsut a inner resistance against someone who tells me how to live and what to do to get better. Better in what mindframe? IF i want to be innefective can't i be innefective? Or do i have feel guilty for it? I want to get presented the idea and then think about it myself. Sure i know thats not thought through until the ende because even if the book isn't well written or tries to set you to the righous path of beeing better y,ou can still think critical about it and take out of it waht you need. Mhhh maybe it is more about me not liking to read nonfiction. I read some nice books in my past. Like slow and fast thinking of Kahnemann. And i can't remember much more of it then the what the title allrdy says. There is a slow gognitve thinking and more important there is a way of impulsive thinking. Both of them happen in other region of the brain and ahve other evolutionary roots. Was it worth to read 500 pages for this insight? Maybe i jsut ahve to read these kind of books mroe intense, make notes about their influence on my life or stuff to enjoy the experience more. Guess the main thing is i didn't apply such books at all in my life adn that's why i didn't took anything out of them. IN addition to this i feel always a kind of shame if i have such books on my shelf. It doesn't say to me you want to improve your life. It says to me fuck you you Looser, your life sucks thats why you have to read this book, feel bad allready! Read this if you want the essence of the upper paragraph OK that was just writing out ym thoughts, guess summarized it goes: Books whose intend is to make people better, awaken the feeling of beeing not good enough in me. On the other hand the few experiences i had with nonfiction books I read in my private time, weren't that well, because of the way i process them. That's beeing said. on my wishlist for my birthday are : The tipping point by Malcolm Gladwell, and Quarter-Life breakthrough by Adam Smiley Poswolsky wich both seemed interesting to me. Maybe i will get to the point where i want to read something like the power of habbit. But on the other Hand i feel like the whole message is in the title of such books. Habbits are a powerfull tool too improve your life. Period. Why bother spending time reading them?

Day 12 Was kind of a bad day. I did some cleaning wich i couldn't do last evening because of this damn flashcards taking ages. But was kind of procrastinating to write more flashcards because its kind of boring and i couldn't motivate myself. I should written like 2hours before i've gone too work. After i had absolutely zero motivation i told myself into 5min of it too start. After that start i wrote llike 50min before I gave up, because i was too annoyed and told myself i could do this another time this week. Realized afterwrads that my schedule is pretty full so i will have to write more cards in the evening. Time wich will go directly form the quality time of my marriage . Well on the other hand i had fun cleaning. Listening to podcasts and having a good cleaning plan, makes it actually kind of fun because im so much more relaxed this way. Definitly better to clean my appartment instead of playing games to evade my studys. After lunch I was kind of depressed about my missing motivation and started to search items for my wishlist for my upcoming birthday. Realized most of the books like the slight edge i considered looked really uninteresting to me. My full schedule makes me unable to read much or start anything new and interesting wich takes big effort anyway. Interesting things i learned today: - You can't put thinking time in your schedule. Thought about meaningfull stuff all day, just as i had it scheduled my head was empty.. - i like the ideas of self-development-books, but it doesn't look appealing at all to read through the most of them - If your not motivated the kind of willpower you need to continue studying is exactly the same as in meditation. Your mind wanders and you guide it back to the topic. - Big tasks seems hard to achieve. But they aren't if you put effort in them on a regulare base instead of trying to bruteforce them in a short amount of time. Things i have to think more about: - how busy do i want my dayplan. Is it old habbit of evading things or would i really be happier if did less stuff? I would definitly have more time to think about important stuff. - does to much thinking of self-development makes you unhappy? - what do I want for my career? Money? Social Impact? Free time for other projects? - where can i find such jobs and what have i do to get them ( besides scoring nice grades in my master=? Things im thankfull for( kind of hard today): - im healthy - bad moods don't stay long - nice weather - my family and my friends.

Hi Theo good that you see first improvements. Maybe you can moe this thread to the dailyjournal secton though. It doesn't have to be updated daily. If you like another rythm thats fine. Teere we share our storys and thoughts about gamequitting and improving our live. Thank you for sharing anyway just a note from my side

Hi Edward, came back to your journal this morning. good to see you still going strong. I'm in the process of letting many bad habbits like porn mass browsing and procrastinating go. I never decided explicity to stop doing them( my fokus was on stop gaming and start living) but it seemed so natural, that i got them down to nothing. I just watch some series together with my wife. But i dont feel bad, because we talk over them and it is kind of a social aspect of my life i really enjoy. Seems like a good plan to reduce netflix time though. It helps me a lot that i got so much work and studying to do. Don't have to worry too much about freetime and surprisingly im not annoyed or stressed out. I really think that schedules helped me alot in this progress and im curious how your experience is with them( I found it very hard at first to make good schedules and are still improving in this aspect). soon 2 weeks done! We rock

Day 11 Ho to everyone out there reading this. Actually got started with studying what is is really good. Last days i spent most of my constructive time into getting some scripts and old exams and things i needed to work, but it but feels good actually starting! Well i worked for an hour wiht little breaks. I will still ahve to do a lot of work. Alone scripting all stuff on cards will take approximatly 14h if my estimation based on my speed it right . Splitted it in chapter of 3hours so it doesn't sounded so scary to me. I procrastinate right now because im a bit tired. Have to study further for atleast 1 hour and clean for 2hours or so, but im sure i make it if i start after this entry. Well made a nice daily routine and did get to meditation in the morning. I actually talked to my wife about it, and she was reliefed it was only awareness meditation and not some quote " esoterical bullshit" , Did i mention that my wife is great? Writing about this actually cheers me up and motivates me thats why i go straight to the things-i-like part. Things i liked about today: - awareness meditation is no esoterical bullshit! - forgot at start to shower cold adn jsut casually switched to cold water. I seem getting used to cold showers - started to train my handwriting and put it in my daily plan right in the morning. - the beautiful weather outside adn that i life close to fields where is really nice to walk Thing i still need to do that this will be an awesome productive day: - Write them flash cards - Clean the kitchen and the bathroom.

Hi man these moods jsut come, right now im a little down too but i guess it's just a bit of midday fatigue. Just now I realized i just eaten too much and haven't drink enough. Did the coffeehouse idea work out for you? btw. i googled Thich Nhat Hanh because i thought it was something delicious too eat. Seems to be a great guy. I read on wiki that he a brainblooding. Do you know if he's still alive and how he's doing?

thought of the mourning: I think and therefore i don't take action(sry descartes)

Day 10 Hi again, I start to really like my morning routine. The planning is really helpfulI even if i still switch things around and waste to much time on optimizing my timeplan( yeah i know ). Work and housework are going fine and tomorow i will tackle my studies hard. Got up early today even if i was out with yesterday till 2 in the morning with a friend. We talked a lot about our times gaming together and how our lives shaped out now. He shared his frustration with playing LoL wich actually kind of helped me to feel good with my decision to quit games. Cat's woke me up at 6 and i just started my morningroutine instead of crwaling back into bed after i gave them mosters theri breakfeast. I still got a decent amount of things done, but today i will go into bed early. It feels like my life starts moving after a long period of standing still. I'm actually more interested in other people and found skills i want to improve. Not just to be sucessfull in my future job but because it would feel nice to have these skills. I'm getting better at training my willpower too. Every morning i stare at the cold water in the shower spraying the ground besides me. And after a short staring contest with it i just step in. Feels great in a kind of crazy way. After some research about willpower, i realised meditation is a willpower training and will try to get more into it. I always liked the idea of meditation in a non spiritual way, and it feels kind of natural to me to meditate. Wouldn't be smart not to use such a tool and i think i jsut never got into meditation because it seemed kind of a hippylike thing my parents( wich were hippies indeed) would do. Don't actually know how my wife will react on this but we'll see. I'm trying stuff like forcing myself sitting straight too. I let you know how it works out. List of skills i will achieve in the next 3months: - sketching on a basic level( could be fun and would be helpfull as an engineer, if i could sketch some problems down and people wouldn't have to guess if its a machine or a really deformed elephant) - readable Handwriting - get punctuation right and finally learn proper grammar in english and german.(any tipps where i can start do lean this?) Things I liked about the last 2 days: - I was active and got much done while i still found time to think about my life and goals - meditated and it felt naturely good - realized i can talk about games and don't feel an urge . - was absolutly honest all day. Most important upcoming Task: - start studying for your exam. There are only 2 weeks left until i wanna be prepared( got one week puffer that way).

Hi NIck, thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on quitting so many of your addictions. After so much time of gaming, 7 months is an impressing achievement. I am sure that your story will inspire many people here, and your experiences can be most helpfull. I would love to see a daily journal of you. In my experience it is a nice way to get help if you struggle with your life or daily tasks. Also i would be very interested in reading it and to see how your life is changing now. Good to have you here! Mario

Hi Hitaru, you seem to be a pretty intelligent person wich sometimes can seem like a curse. I sincerely hope this process you started here will help you to become more satisfied with your life. Well first of all I would say your right about the selfish motivation. But if helping and beeing nice feels good this is awesome! You dont need to be a freakin selfless saint to do Stuff, wich your moral do label as good. It is more rewarding to be good then bad for me and it will make me more content with my life and happier( By happiness i just think about a level of satisfaction in my life, not about that imaginary endless state of feelinggood wich doesn't seem to be worthy of achieving). If i ask myself why do i do this, it is because im not happy at the state i am right now. To change this, there is only one way(I dont count suizid because it is not a way, it is an symptom): to try to do something different. I just don't believe in religion even if it would be nice if i could ,and that's why i try to improve my life by making it worthwhile. Try not to beat yourself up if you aren't able to get some things done. Selftraining is hard, and takes time. You need to make many steps to get to another place in your life. Every action is a step and brings you further infront. Here is a nice podcast for you, wich i enjoyed listening to. Maybe it can help you a little(http://podbay.fm/show/863897795/e/1402695505?autostart=1). I actually hope that you keep this journal updated because it is very interesting. Mario

@cam yeah exactly, thx for the question. Was only able to listen to half od the podcast in the train because its so damn long. And couldn't find it later to finish it. Now i will listen 2 it while cooking lunch . Got to Tim Ferris at your tip. These podcasts are really awesome. I enjoy them a lot. @alex thank your for the kind words and your support. What habbit you made your own helped you the most, improving your lifestyle? Will update my journal tonight and summarize yesterday and today in one report.

Hi Man, heard an awesome 15min podcast fo Tim ferris about a similiar topic yesterday. It's more centred on tasks as on habbits but maybe you get someinput otu of it http://podbay.fm/show/863897795/e/1402695505?autostart=1 Podcasts and audiobooks are in my opinion a good alternative for reading. What i like about them is the fact you can hear them while driving or cleaning or doing some stuff wich doesn't need too much brainpower. And things like learning german isn't something you have to do on a daily base( even if duolingo kind of dicates that wiht their motivation system). maybe you can explore other options like an actual course( it's a nice social activity too). Awesome you get your self set tasks done. Main things feeling awesome So yeah ur doing awesome!

Yeah, really intersting style. If you keep them going i will most definitly check them out.

Hi mark, yeah procrastinating is a big problem for me too. It helped me, to make a daily plan of things and scheduling the hardest/mostimportant/most scary tasks right at the start. But i have still work to do on this issue, so i can relate to this very well. I'm german btw. If you want we can write a bit about gamequitting or other stuff in german. I try to improve my english here and i get the feelign that regular reading and writing in the languague you try to master, helps a lot. greetings Mario

Day 9 Day 9 is here. My life starting to get busy. The timing of this gamequitting helped my a lot i think. With my exams ringing the doorbell, i always have a good answer to myself, if i ask why do i do this. I have to figure out the way I want to life my life for more all around goals. I actually dont know if i really want to be super sucessfull in an engineering job, because it would consume a lot of time wich would eb maybe better invested in social activities. But who knows if i find a job I enjoy and have a passion for, i will maybe gladly distrubite my time to it. We'll see but definitly something to think about for me. I thoguht about some ideash ow to get out of a bad mood. If i'm feeling bad and a lack of motivation i will ask myself why i feel this way. Haven't i eaten or did i drink enough? Do i see no sense in doing what i do right now? Why do i still have to do it? Am i just tired and need a break? Do I lack motivation? If i lack motivation, I will think about my wife and our future family. I want to build a family of my own and to be an example to my future kids, i have to start growing up and get a living style i like and can stand for. @Cam thx for guiding words. They are appreciated! Last Day wasn't very productive, but i realized how much more fun i have socialising wiht my study mates if im not gaming. I bonded for the first time with some people im studying with for over 3 years now. In the apst I always thoguht this was a timewaste because i have enough friends and i had no freetime to spent wiht new people anyway( Most of my freetime was reserved for gaming). Just realized how it made my life poorer and shut me out of networking possibilities. I'm pretty sure that i would have achieved a far better average at my bachelor if I just spent more time with the people i study, instead of dooing all the stuff alone. But actually im not feeling bad about that time of my past and am excited to see what changes the future will bring to this aspect of my life. Today i will start cleaning my appartment besides studying. Had an argument with my wife about it and realized how i do a lousy job at housekeeping. I see it as a challenge to improve this aspect oof my life. Im sure I will feel more comfortable in my home this way too. Next weekend i have a party here and my goal is to make the appartement look shiny like Mr.Propers dome then. Things I liked about yesterday: - nice talks at university were a nice self esteem boost - got some administral work done - enjoyed an awesome podcast about effective charity

@mmmWatermelon. yeah it gets triring indeed. Thank you for your input. I guess in buddhist context awakening means the sort of enlightment buddha had. And to life a mindful life is the way to follow in his footsteps. Even if i have my problems with religion, buddhism is one of them i like. Even if i dont believe in a way to be enlightened or the karma idea, i think it sends a nice message over mindfullness and peace of mind. And yeah every step counts. "Even if you go in the wrong direction for some time, you learn how to walk along they way ". Mad this quote up but you get what i mean ^^

Congratz for one week! Loved the pitbull anology. Your journal is a good read btw.

Day 8 I made an awesome plan in the morning and found a good way to organize the shitload of things i want/have to do. Basically i started a journal at penzu where i can write my personal feeling down to get clear of them. I relized that you can put entrys there and just go very fast with writing. Word is pretty damn slow on my Computer thats why i decided to use this for my daily plan. First i jsut write things down i want to have done. Just everything what comes to mind. I try formulate in a postive way: I want my refridgerator cleaned. Or i want to have written my learning cards for one study subjekt. After i did this for some minutes i thought about the importance and the urgency of this tasks and painted the the important and/or urgent ones in red and try to estimate how much time they will take me. Then i check how much time i approximatly have at the day for tasks( i learned from my past experiences and caclulated enough free time in wich is blocked for tasks). Fater this i can make an dayily plan without effort because i allrdy know what i haev to do, waht si important and most importantly how long it needs. Worked like a charm yesterday. Even if im really happy with my planning routine, i had a setback in the afternoon. Felt a strong lack of motivation and energy and didn# do my work. Instead i browsed on the internet. Watched one LoL-video. Felt bad watched some porn, still felt bad and realized only then i fallen back in bad habbits and pulled me back. I listened to some podcast of tim ferris and went out to visist a concert, wich was pretty awesome. Guess this setback was a result of missing training of actually learning/working and bad nutrition. I ate a whole pack of cookies a moment before and all this sugar left my tired after a short sugar high. I got home late adn even if I was willing to follow my mourningroutine at the next day anyway, I couldn't convinve myself in the morning to ge tup before 8:30. Had to go to Universtity straight away and couldn't do much more tehn some university planning. Now i will do some work and try not beating me up too mcuh because i see how I improve. It just takes more time then I would liked. Things i liked the last day: - watched an awesome Frank Turner concert - made a strategy to do my daily schedule wich seems to work - even with some drawbacks i recovered and my goto strategies seems to work Things i do better tomorow: - get back to my morning routine - do my cold shower and motivation thingy

Wow that seesm like extrem behaviour indeed, guess im lucky to have nongaming friends and a nongaming wife. And now i have this community!

Hi, good to have you here, your journal sounds very high spirited and im glad that you share it wiht us. Keep going it looks like you found a great hobby to be social active and enjoy yourself. The Place wher you live sounds lovely. Sadly im far away from any oceans and it has like -5 degrees here, but i still enjoy my walks through the snow Greetings from Germany!

@zakaex yeah lets do it! Thanks for the support, it is appreciated. @cam got to read your article. Awesome and inspiring story man. I can relate to much of it. Day 6 Ok feeling kind of scared and emotional today. Im usually no person wich speaks alot about their feelings and emotions because it sounds always a bit tacky. But today i will not only talk about them i will think about them, meditate over them and live them. I know that sounds a little foggy but i have the suspicion that here is a turningpoint of my selfdevelopment. I feel fear right now and because this fear isn't rational at all( im safe at home even my first scary exam is over 2 weeks away from now), i have to go to the bottom of it. Usually if i had to feel fear in the past, i started gaming or browsing or evading however possible. I try to experience my emotions today. And all other goals will have to wait until im ready. Sry if you read this and there is nothing to learn for you because it's such a personal thing. Todays starting Mood reflective,scared update: I realized that i can't work out my feelings in on try but i keep it in the back of my mind. I started to write a private journal in german to clear my head and to express my feelings so its easier for em to analyze them. I will still talk to friends about my feelings but i guess a journal it's like a conversation with yourself. And i can be pretty resourcefull so this could eb a really good idea. Furthermore is such an journal private and therefore i don't have to worry about privacy at all, wich should make beeing honest about myself easier. I created a fine morning routine wich seems to work and i will include meditation in this routine.. I meditated today for around 35min and it calmed me down and was a really interesting experience. I am not sure if i thelps me dealing wiht my emotions but seems worth to look into anyway. Seems like i get my life back on track wich is really good for my self esteem. Daily routine 5:00 clock wake up make, coffee. 5:15Open daily news video of the day before 5:15-5:45 watch enws wiht my wife check gamequitters while she is doing ehr mornign routine in the bathroom. 5:45-6:15 Say goodbye to her and brush my teeth and shave. 6:15 - 6:30 Cold shower adn breakfeast 6:30 - 7:00(approximately) awareness Meditation 7:00 - 7:30 Gamequitter research and journal 7:30 -8:00 make a daily plan (with enough freetime!) 8:00 start doing stuff i want to get done around 21:30 go to sleep. Mood thoughtfull, sad, not afraid

oh ok ty guess i could have googled it Sometimes i forget that google is a powerfull tool

Well i wouldadvice you jsut to start with a goal like reading atleast one site per day.If you want you can read more, if you dont want you read at least read one site. Such goals can be helpful to find some motivation for things to do. If your alrdy rolling keep going, is far easier then to start. It's like to move a car versus friction, to keep moving always take less force then accelerating(sry for engineer thinking ) .

I just like to set me some timelimits to convince me too start working on smth. The 30min was just an estimation for meditation because im not that used to meditation and can't sit still for so long. Otherwise i often doesn't even start because the problem is to scary for me. And after 15minute i canceled my fokus even if hadn't even got through the 30min. Butyour right, things need as long as they need. A time limit is just a thoughtconstruct(not sure if you can translate it this way) wich doesn't necessarly has anything to do with the reality. My flight or fight scenario is my exam plan btw. Looked on the dates this afternoon wich is smth. i was scared to do for a long time. Then i kind of flipped out abit and couldn't stand it. Still need to process my fear of failing but had a talk with my wife wich helped a bit. Tomorow i will take more time to work through this issue and think about it. I'm not so self assured right now but to see someone dealing with his issues sucessful is motivating so thank you for sharing and replying. Mario

Wow that seemed like a pretty nice flow-experience you had there. I hope you can channel your adrenaline energy in such a way more often. At the moment i have an flight moment myself thats why im here and not studying. After trying to calm myself down with meditation wich i finished after 15min instead half an hour as planned, i came here for distraction. Well i try again now thx for that really unexpected motivation.