WorkInProgress

@cam well actually i started only 4 days ago with running again. I don't think my shape improved much in this short period. But feels good still beeing in an ok shape. I'm just lucky that i stay slim even if i eat mass sweets and pasta. Day 22 Hello out there. Yesterday i couldn't get the challenge done. I think i will skip the stuff wich needs me to approach other people. Or to say it better i try to postpone it. It is hard for me and it takes too much space in my head right now. Can't fokus on the things i need to achieve. Like studiyng. And it isn't the case that i can't speak with strangers, i just don't like to do something, someone could interpret as unreasonable or strange(yeah fear of rejection). Yesterday i was out with an old friend i haven't seen alone in ages. Was nice and i even talked with a few strangers as we played table soccer in a bar. Yesterday wasn't to productive. Checked my email to earlyin the mornignwich lead to work pressure on my programm and so i started my day after my morning routine with searching a bug in my programm for abotu an hour.. Was kind out of rhytm then. Made my firefox look pretty with addons listened to podcasts and did nothing constructive. At 2pm i realized i wasted half of my day and couldn't get myself to learn stuff. Atleast i did some work for my side shope done. Now i won't have to work for the weekend and can fokus on other things. Health: run 30min: check find a new vegeterian recipe for this week: nope Relationships: Call or visit one of my family/friends everyday and have a good talk.: check plan one activity every weekend with my wife: nope Personal Development: read every morning for 30 min, listen to podcasts: check and check meditate for 10min every day:check find the most uncomfortable organisationtask and start doing it: check Career: work 1hour every day my internship proposals: nope daily 4 hour studying session every day: no revisit an old study subject for 1hour a day and summarize what i learned about it: nope Im gratefull for: - my surprisingly good shape - still liking my friend from basic school. - beeing still over average in table soccer.(Even pretty intoxitated we won over 50% of our matches!) - an new day to do better - that today it isnt showing/raining outside.

Hi nice that you share your journal here, stating your goals is a good starting point. I think with goalsetting language matters. In my opinion you could start thinking of the person you wanna be, to get all those things instead of just state the points you wanna achieve. For example instead of get a girlfriend you could state: I wanna be a men who girls are attracted to. Or instead of earn a job the sound Design field, i want to be a Sounddesigner. This way of formulating your goals makes it easier to visualize them in your head, what will motivate you at pursuing your goals. Addionally it enables you to fokus on the things you can change(yourself) instead fokussing on stuff you can't influence( i.e. mean teacher). To reach your goals would advice you to start with little challenges for yourself in the fields you want to improve. Maybe talk with a friend about god, Or learn something about improving your social skills. Look after job opportunitys in the internet for 30min, work on your Curriculae. Well stuff like this. Set a date for them too so its harder to postpone your quests. An example of a "good" goal would be: goal: -I want to be a selfsufficant man who is awesome at cooking. shortterm goal: - ask my mom to show me how she does my favorite meals and learn to do them myself (unitl 3.3.2016) I would write this goals somewhere you can see tehm. I have my goals on a .txt-file on my desktop and watch theme veryday. Other possibiltys would be a whiteboard or on a post-it you pin somewhere you can see it every day. Ah and before i forget here is an awesome studytactic wich help me to fokus ("ultimate productivity method"). Check it out if you want. ok sry for all that input, but im happy to share some of the things wich worked for me in the last weeks. Feel free to ignore what you don't like greetings Mario

Reading the slight edge, gave me really motivation at this aspect for my daily morning routine. Even if i did not like the "american" style of this book it gave me nice insights about sticking to the little things, wich do you good but aren't so fun at that moment.

Try out duolingo, its a pretty fun way to learn languages and it stays free. They earn there money with translations form experienced users, its actually a fascinating business modell.

Sounds like a harsh situation. It is good that you are understanding of your wife's feelings. But I would advice you to keep working on yourself and try new stuff. Just show her you got a plan. Check your fincances, realize how long you can stay without a job and set a date where you have to find a new one. If you don't find a job you really enjoy until then you commit yourself taking everyjob wich comes your way and deal wiht the concequences. In that way you have some security, show her that you understand her feelings and still have the possibilty to figure out what you really want. Don't use this as an excuse though, just start there. Make decisions wich re good for you but don't forget your responsibility for your loved ones. That's just my idea, think about it and do what's best for you and your family. Congratulations on your kids by the way. I kind of wish i would be at this state of my life allready, wich is one reason why I quit gaming and try to become a better person. greetings Mario

Yeah been there came to the same realisation. Congratulations on your realisation and response to this urges. At good days it is easy to keep dooing constructive things. But to do them on bad days counts double in a way. keep it up( your are motivating me)!

Day 21 Yesterday was a good start. I did my morning routine and did keep jogging. Switched from barfoot shoes to my old jogging shoes wich definitly made me use different muscle groups. And hey i can still run for about 30min that's awesome. Thanks to the new working technique i tried out i coudl priortize and did all my learning stuff in a very effektive way. Later this day i was 2 times close before ordering the good-looking-discount but chickened out. Important Points i have to improve today: my work for my internship and do some organisation stuff wich really starts to annoy me to get my head clean for studying. Ok got to go running. cya tomorrow Health: run 30min: check find a new vegeterian recipe for this week: nope Relationships: Call or visit one of my family/friends everyday and have a good talk.: check plan one activity every weekend with my wife: nope Personal Development: read every morning for 30 min, listen to podcasts: check and check do the 30 day challenge every day: nope meditate for 10min every day:check find the most uncomfortable organisationtask and start doing it: nope Career: work 1hour every day my internship proposals: nope daily 4 hour studying session every day: done revisit an old study subject for 1hour a day and summarize what i learned about it: forgot to summarize but learned some math Im gratefull for: - my two fluffy cats - grattitude lists - pomodoro technique - my mother - my jogging shoes - all this free time to improve myself

To visualize the negatives of relapsing is a good start. But think also about the positive things wich will await you in your future.Picture them. Often. Helps to motivate me atleast;) gratulations on trying again anyway. I will check in here again.gl man you got this

sounds like a great method. I will definitly try this. Thx for sharing

OK it were only 5days Day 20 first of all: I read through the slight edge adn summarized every chapter for myself. It is a great inspiring book if you get through the first annoyance about his style. I managed myself these 5 days fine(less input was a good idea).I obviously read a lot and had a nice time. I haven't studied enough and didn't meditate every day.I stopped the 7day-challenge as i had to exercise on strangers. I found my vision too arbitrary so i abbandonned it and found a new vision, wich is kind of lame but on the other hand seems to really motivate me( I wanna get straight A's on my exams and find an internship i love before my masterthesis). I made a whole page with goals and i want to share some of my goals and my daily/weekly routines to reach them ;)) Health: Run 5km in 30min(2.5.2016) --> run 30min everyday( did thsi the last 2 days) eat 4 vegetarian meals a week(2.3.2016) --> find a new vegetarien recipe eachweek and try it at saturdays Relationships: get back in contact with my friends and family(asap) --> Call or visit one of them everyday adn have a good talk. create more quality time wiht my wife(asap) --> plan one activity every weekend wiht her Personal Development: develop into an awesome person(asap) --> read every morning for 30 min, listen to podcasts to relax(allrdy doing this) --> do the 30 day challenge every day, meditate for 10min every day, gratidude journal --> find the most uncomfortable organisationtask and start doing it every morning --> visualize my goals in the morning adn check my habbits every evening Career: Find an awesome internship where i can shine(2.3.) --> work 1hour every day my internship proposals Get 95% of possible points in my exams and be an awesome student over all --> daily 4 hour studying session every day( i have now my whole day time) --> revisit an old study subject for 1hour a day and summarize what i learned about it Im gratefull for: - awesome to feel inspired by a book - my motivation this evening - my clean appartment - that i still have enough time for my studys - having so much free time to plan a ton of constructive stuff

I realised that i sit in front of this forum too long and it doesn't help me to improve, if I postpone my goals because i wait on answers on this journal or on others. My main problem at this point isn't not knowing what i have to do but that i dont do it. In order to do this i will take a timeout experiment. I will do an 1week off: - no tv, no browsing, only one hour of reading in the morngin is allowed: - no journalling, no commenting. - emails get checked in the morning and then gets closed. - Handy gets checked once a day if i don't expect a special kind of message. The goal of this is to be more fokussed and be more aware of my feelings,habbits and urges. I would like to let emails rest but due to work i can do it so i reduce my attention on them at least. Well the main thing is jsut to keep the input at my brain low so i can properly adress all the changes i'm going through right now. I will still continue the 30day challenge but bothing wich includes posting stuff. I will continue good habbits like gratefull list but on paper and for me to see. See you in 7 days, feel free to anser on my crazy amount of text i produced the last 2 days. I will answer if im back.

Making a studyign break and read the slight edge Chapter 2 and 3. And man this book pisses me off.I like the idea. I think it is important to realize that your everyday effort lead to something. You evolve your personality wiht this appraoch and get skills. Absolutly. I can see it. But you can't apply this on everything! It is like the autor likes to make me angry and does present the idea in a way i will most likely hate it. He saying stuff like i did this and i got a millionaire. My mother is a secret millionaire because she did this stuff. Everyone can be amillionaire! Freakin american dream stuffed in my face till i can't take it anymore. Just save up and after 20-30 years you be rich.Everyone who isn't rich is that way, because he didnt do the right things consistently.. Just say me what you think i should do, instead of filling 3/4 of the book wiht fables of american successstories wich just make me think, there must be something fishy here, dammit. Well maybe you are unlucky and have to pay monthly in your medecine. Maybe you are so poor you need all the money you can get to eat and live.THhre are so many options how shit can still go wrong and you can end in the gutter, even if you have the right habbits and do the right stuff. You can have psichological problems, wich aren't your fault at all and end homeless because you can't stand to be insight and are terrified/don't have the money for psyachtrists. Easy solution! They jsut neeed to apply the slight edge. Argh PS: If you enjoy the book don't let yoursefl be encouraged of this outburst. It had just go somewhere and is only my opinion and i think deep down tehre is valuable information. It jsut doesn't feel like abook for me.

Wow i knew this section would be great. But damn gj. Love the variety.

Day 15 Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman, I liked yesterday even if i wasn't produktive. Read an awesome little free ebook ("the flinch") and mad notes abo the things i found important in a textfile. I like this idea of making notes on my computer, because it makes the reading process a more active process. I will continue this habbit on every nonfiction text i want to remember, from now on. I can remember more out of it and if I want to quickly check out the book again, I can go to my notes and remember the key points that way. DId day 3 of the challenge. Here my notes of the first chapter so you can see that i've read it and to see my awesome brain at work The Sligth Edge: Chapter 1 - Hard work alone doesn't make you a success - circumstances can still fuck you life is a rollercoaster between failure and average - to get to the success stage you have to keep doing what you do if you evade failure - do the little things: read a book, say some one, you love him... the simply daily disciplines - to get a good life, a sucessfull life you need to start doing these simply daily disciplines Feeling good right now because i like my own(not very original but whatever) technique to improve my reading experience for nonfictional books. From now on I will read atleast 30min every day( im sure it will be more because if i start reading im a sucker for it). Ok so far so well, i will update you about my project(check my last post) as soon as I gone to the 7days mark but i am still excited about it. Im gratefull for: - for the opportunity staying at home today brings me: beeing very productive - awesome pic i foubdn for my profile( i know its to little zoom it out for the A-ha effekt) - the Internet( maybe i get a tech enthusiast after all) OK that is it. See you next day

Hi Transienceblue, nice to have you here.To open up before an audiance is a big first step! Good that respawn seems to be working for you. If you wanna share your experiences about your other addiction and how the process is similiar to getting over gaming addiction, i would gladly read it. Good luck too you i'm sure you can do it, and we give you all the help we can give!

HI Mark, Thanks for sharing!

Hello Nick, DId exactly the same things in my past. Telling my former girlfriend and present wife that i studied/ did go to university/ cleaned while i sat 8hours in my chair and played computer games until she came back .And yeah you are annoyed at your self at that state and snap at other people because of this. To start living honest and not having to lie was an awesome experience to me wish i hope you will have too. I didn't realize how heavy the shame lie on me unti i was free of it. It's great to have you here in our community! If you have any questions or just feel like talking about your experiences feel free to pm me. Greetings Mario

Started the 2ond day of the daily challenge and constructed wiht the guidance of cam's work a great project i want to share with you guys. In my university time i wouldn' engage much with other students because with all my gaming, i had no time to meet them outside of university (had my own friends from school still lviing here too), As a result i was kind of outside the group, missed informations and had less fun and sucess studying. There are some groups of ( mostly asian/spanish) foreign people in my class too with us wich stay to themselfs only. They're often not good at speaking german and im sure their kind of lonely sometimes. Well i want to help all students wich stay by themselfs and give them a lokal study platform where information flows, peers are helping peers and everyone can network easy. So noone is left behind. Starting goals: Start small. First get a product: Gather materials and start summarizing everything i learn. Learn how to build a website(maybe some python on the way). 7days goal: Make a first scheme of the structure of the website. Summarize everything I learn. Put materials i have in order. Learn what have to learn to build a website. Make a 30day goal. Write down a site philosiphy. Write down visions for this project. Think big for this! Wow i'm exited. Hope this will stay this way. Now i can feel a motivation because i want to be a rolemodell for my future website. That means i have to improve my studys and network and summarize and order my stuff. And it is an idea i really think could help a lot of people! @cam thanks alot. I would never found the courage too start such an ambitous projekt all by myself.

Day 14 Hit a low yesterday afternoon. Came back from uniersity and couldn't motivate me to study. Spirealled downwards without really realizing it. Felt liek in my "new" life is no fun included. Had told my wife i woudl clean the appartment unitl tomoroww and had stills tuff too do. Had set a goal for myself to study a specific amount till sunday and felt totally overwhelmed. I watched some Dota2 and felt for the first time a pretty big urge to jsut throw things away and download the game. But experience(had this kind of scenario at my last tries too and jsut felt worse later on) stopped me so i lay on my couch for 1hour or so until my wife came home. I told her about my funk and she told me its ok if I dont clean the appartment, she jsut wanna to have a clean appartment before the party at saturday. I realised that all this pressure i built on myself just wasn't cutting it. The goals are fine and usefull but if you miss one time to time it is ok. I still studied for 2 hours at the evening so yeah felt kind of mindstrong at that point. Still I need more fun everyday. First result of this is a adaption of my daily habbits. Bathroom time is musik time too. Sang and danced like crazy tomorow in my bathroom. Was pretty fun. Well wanted jsut write aboiut this experience. Rest of the update comes at the end of the day. wish you a awesome day Im gratefull for: - lfeeling like to writing a gratefull list out fo the blue - nice rock music on spotify - ancipation of a festival i attend this summer(southside) - this journal

It is all about the state-of-mind.

Hi Edward, yeah she is always one of my first thoughts, at the gratitude list. But i try to put down new things every day. Especially small things i like to shift my fokus on more appreciation od the small things.

@ cam thanks for the advice! The introduction in the 30day challenge brought me in the same mindset.Somewhere there you formulate how you realized it isn't about ebeing smart it is about improving so you can come to the place where you want yourself to be in. Really well written part. Was kind of inspiring to me. Your questioning reminded me of aristoteles(or what i read about aristoteles). The same technik to let people improve their thoughts themself. Just ask the right questions. Always admired that appraoch of teaching because it seems so logical to guide people to their own answers. Is that something you do on purpose or just accidantly? @Wookieshark88 what postive effekts of meditation do you experience?

Hi its really big that you post this right away. Honesty is rly important Don't be to hard on yoursefl, i had a similar experience today too, was kind of depressed and had to study for 3hours and clean the floors and dust things up as I came home from university. And i just had no mtoivation at all sat down feeling bad. I knew i should do smth. constructive treid to motivate me with my goals and stuff and just thought fuvk it and watched some youtube videos of dota 2. And if i didn't knew better from my relapses before this trial in semi-public i would jsut downloaded it. INstead i lay depressed on my couch until my wife came home and cheered me up. I think i really miss on good social hobby's. But i now im better and i hope you get over this state too. First time i felt that way in my 11 days. It is just how our brain works, rewiring this reward centres in our brains takes some time. I'm sure this will go away after a few day's. We jsut have to stay strong and endure it.

Day 13 Hi, today was an ok day. I was at university until now. Skipped the first hour of university one because i knew it wasn't relevant for my exam and i decided to invest my time into starting the 30day challenge. First day sucessfully done. Got a good feeling where i come from, shame, low self-esteem unreliable and waht i want to be. Reliable, honest, full of willpower and actually knowing what my purpose is. My first thought about my purpose. I want raise some kids and have the self-esteem to be sure i can parent them in a good way. I wante to get a job wich is demanding and fullfilling at the same time. i want to be someone who is considering himself sucessfull. Only approximatly 19016 days to live. got some mod swings. First im euphoric now im sad adn can't find new things im gratefull for. Habbits morning routine: checked gamequitters to fast and spent time on it wich interrupted my moruning routine, tomorow i will meditate first Meditation: was only one 10min and one 5min session and i wasn't that fokussed btu was ok cold shower: got weak in the middle of it but turned it back into cold again Thinks im gratefull for: - possibilty to use the internet - having my own appartment -

@Kevin yeah it fullfills the same function for me. In addition I use it to clear my thoughts by writing them down. Nice to have you here you should add keeping record of your achievementsm as an achievement because it really is.