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WorkInProgress

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Posts posted by WorkInProgress


  1. Hey this sounds really troubling man and i am sorry you are going through this. This way of thinking is your mind and body screwing you. The only thing you can do right now is not killing yourself but reaching out for help. Family, friends or even better professional help like a suizide hotline. People will help you and you deserve to be helped.

    • Like 1

  2. Date

    Friday 15.08.2018

    Thoughts
    The reality of others is important. Be always sure you at least get a feel of how the people around you see the world. What are their goals? What are their motivation? How do they assess you? Use outside perspectives on you to improve you weaknesses.

    Thankfulness
    I could work in a soulless cubicle. I could have no freedom. I could be to scared to learn new things. I could ahve no money forbooks. Live is great!

    Goals
    I will earn 8k+ more money next year
    Get leadership position as a mentor for new members of the team.
    Become an expert in the user macro development
    Become an expert at the Java-API and Scripting Jira wiht teh help of Scriptrunner-
    Be the leading expert on our most important customer project and use above skills there.  Management changed its plans. In retrospective I wasn't ready and quite happy tofocus more on my expertice


  3. Date

    Friday 13.07.2018

    Thoughts
    I again said yes to a promising project at work. Now I need to focus on results that I can actually reach that 8k+ at the end of the year and have a lot of results to show for.
     

    Thankfulness
    We could be indebted. We could be without jobs. We could be without a support system. Things are great. I am thankful for that.

    Goals
    I will earn 8k+ more money next year
    Get leadership position as a mentor for new members of the team.
    Become an expert in the user macro development
    Become an expert at the Java-API and Scripting Jira wiht teh help of Scriptrunner-
    Be the leading expert on our most important customer project and use above skills there.

    • Like 1

  4. Date
    Wednesday 11.07.2018

    Thoughts
    I need to think about the death of people I love and loosing things I care about. Thinking about this makes me feel intensely grateful for the things I have. This is way more important then thinking about things I have and trying to feel gratitude or list them down.

    Have big goals for the future further away and smaller plans for the immediate future.   Focus the view and do fucking great work now.

    Thankfulness
    My wife could die in a car accident. My son could die of sickness. My vitality could and will fade. My mind will be withering. My family will die. My job can go away. The field I am working in can become past. I am fucking greatful for having all this stuff and people in my life right now.

    Goals
    I will earn 8k+ more money next year
    Get leadership position were I can empower people.
    Become an expert in the cross section between confluence and front-end-webdevelopment
    Become an expert at the Java-API of the Atlassian tools and plug-in-development still to much goals


  5. Letter 3 - On True and False Friendship

    1. Real friends are people you can share everything with that bothers you
    2. Be a real friend to yourself. self deceiving is sometimes necessary but it hinders you
    3. Live your live in a way that you could share it with your enemies without shame or fear
    4. Don't share openly everything that bothers you with people who aren't your friends (yet)
    5. Choose your real friends wisely and only make them real friends (what means you share with them everything) if they are good for you.
    6. There is no hard line between aqquaintances and real friend. Trust trustworthy people more and untrustworthy people less but don't trust nobody or everybody. It is a scale not to fractions

  6. Date
    Saturday 06.07.2018

    Thoughts
    Chat ruins productivity but enhances team feeling over distributed workplaces.
    I need to focus one hour a day on one important but not urgent thing without distraction.
    Journalling will help me to know my strengths and weaknesses better which will allow me to use my weaknesses as strengths.

    Thankfulness
    Books, Family, My Wife who found an appartment closer to my workplace which will give me an extra half an hour everyday where I don't ahve to commute.

    Goals
    I will earn 8k+ more money next year
    Get leadership position were I can empower people.
    Become an expert in the cross section between confluence and front-end-webdevelopment
    Become an expert at the Java-API of the Atlassian tools and plug-in-development
    Become an expert at the usage of the development tools of Atlassian.  TO MUCH GOALS


  7. Letter 1: On saving time

    1. The only thing which is really yours is time. Don't fucking waste it.
    2. Time can be converted in anything: knowledge, money, connection, health etc.
    3. You are dying every day, the candle of your life is half burnt.
    4. You are rich if you have what you need. If you need less time you will be rich in time: that is why you need to focus.
    5. Focus first on effectiveness and only second on efficiency.

     

     

    • Like 1

  8. Hi fellow gamequitters!

    I lately started to listen and relisten to a series which is a commentary and reading of Senecas Letters. I want to store profound knowledge or citations I get from this so I can reread it later. Maybe you can also benefit from this. I will edit this first entry to add one letter after the other one. This way we all can easily go to the first page and get all knowledge.


    If you want to listen to the same videos:

    Spoiler

     


     

    • Like 2

  9. Date
    Saturday 23.06.2018

    Thoughts
    We don't have coding expertise at work so I need to become the go-to-guy to everything relating to code.
    Senecas letters series from John Sonmez is awesome. I should write key points from every letter down where I look at them

    Thankfulness
    My awesome son, Youth, Modern Communication, my sister.

    Goals
    I will earn 8k+ more money next year
    I will pass my certification and study actively and effectively ACHIEVED
    Get leadership position were I can empower people.
    Become an expert in the cross section between confluence and front-end-webdevelopment
    Become an expert at the Java-API of the Atlassian tools and plug-in-development
    Become an expert at the usage of the development tools of Atlassian.
     

    • Like 1

  10. Date
    Tuesday 20.06.2018

    Workday Morning Routine
    Feed Cats. Make Coffee. Drink Coffee. Get Ready. Listen to Audiobook. Write Journal Entry. Start 15min Touchtyping. 1hr High Prio Work.

    Thoughts
    Didn't Journal for too long, didn't train a bit
    I am doing well at work
    I want to be a tech lead because teamwork is awesome and empowering people is something I want to do.
    How can I make this happen? I am only in for 6 Months and missing the respect and technical background
    I need to become expert and lead my team without being in the position.
    How can I empower my team members. I need to learn what drives them and then help them to get this motivation.
    1on1 talks are needed

    Thankfulness
    Motivation, Coffee, Love

    Goals
    I will earn 8k+ more money next year
    I will keep my apartment clean until end of June FAILED
    I will pass my certification and study actively and effectively ACHIEVED
    Get leadership position were I can empower people.
    Become an expert in 2-3 areas of my current work.

    • Like 2

  11. Date
    Tuesday 12.06.2018

    Workday Morning Routine
    Feed Cats. Make Coffee. Drink Water. Drink Coffee. 5min HIT. Get Ready. Listen to Audiobook. Write Journal Entry. Start 15min Touchtyping. 1hr High Prio Work.

    Thoughts
    Need to finish Ilias Audiobook just to enforce the finisher mindset
    New books and projects are one kind of distraction from hard realities

    Thankfulness
    I am needed
    I am still healthy and hae a lot of energy which can be used
    Flexibility is awesome

    Goals
    I will earn 8k+ more money next year
    I will keep my apartment clean until end of June
    I will pass my certification and study actively and effectively

     

     

     

     


  12. Hey there. Great to see how you stand up again and again. It is hard not to rely on old habits if your not busy and old triggers come up. I. E. I you feel bored or stressed. Be aware of the situations and feelings which let you relapse. After some repetitions you will recognize the same situations as they happen and this enables you to train yourself to a different reaction.

    For me personally the gamechanger was getting a full time job which made establishing a daily recurring routine much easier. I just had so less free time that I suddenly became very conscious about how and with whom I wanted to spend it. Not gaming was suddenly easy. It seems kind of depressing to have so little choices over the day but I actually feel way better with a boring recurring routine. I would never believed to be so happy with it if someone told me before. 

    • Like 1

  13. Get some professional help. I wished I could walk by your house and talk out of this shit. But I am not there. If you have noone to talk to get professional help. Suicidal tendencies is nothing normal or rational. It is a sign you need help. NOW is the time to get it. 

    • Like 1

  14. 4 hours ago, nekoexmachina said:

    Hey!

    I'm a big fan of dance machines (DDR) and dance games (xbox's just dance).

     

    What do you guys think? Is that a thing that you think could be done during detox? (after detox without risk of going down the spiral?)

    This depends imho on how you feel if you doing them. If it feels comparable to you playing "normal" games (i.e. escape from hard stuff, not relaxing, wasting away instead of achieveing smth) I would evade them. If it feels different it may be a fun activity you can do from time to time. This depends on the person playing them.

    • Like 1

  15. I personally didn't struggle with this at the detox but his only the case because I have really nice metabolism and burned all that shit I ate away fast. Be forgiving to yourself because it is hard to change your behaviors. If it starts to become the standard that you don't game making good choices in other areas of your life becomes easier.

    Gaining weight is a form of lifestyle. You all ready realized why you are gaining weight (more going out = less money + more alcohol = more calories). You have basically three options:

    1) You start a second counter for exercise habits. This could be anything from a amount of steps you want to walk everyday to you want to go to the gym everyday. I has to be daily goal to make it a habit.

    2) You stop doing things which affects you in a bad way. Go out with friends and just drink water. It is a great exercise to develop your social abilities and while people will find it curious at first they get used to it and are usually happy that the now have a driver ;)

    3) Do both and become even fitter then you were before.

    But always remember you are only at the beginning of your journey of becoming better, fitter, more intelligent and awesome in general. You don't have to tackle all the aspects at once. It would be totally fine if you accept the weight gain for the next 69 days and then start another phase where you focus on health and fitness. The cool thing at this detox is that it allows you to build the self-control and confidence to to such things again again in the future.

     

    • Like 3

  16. I personally struggled with this a lot. I studied chemical engineering because I liked the sciences and thought a mixture out of chemistry/biology/some physics and math sounded interesting. But as someone who never struggled at school without making too much effort university was a other kind of deal. I failed 4/4 exams in my fourth semester and thought of quitting. I felt like I had invested to much all ready and sticked with it until I made a mediocre bachelors degree. I hated this time and my self esteem was never so low as I was desperately trying to grasp difficult concepts and to somehow catch up with topics I should have learned a few semester ago. Instead I gamed compulsively Because it was hard to find a masters degree in another subject with this bad degree I continued and focused more on simulation and computer topics. that is where I found that I really like the world of It and started to program more and read a lot about c/c++/Linux etc. This is where I wanted to work in so I accepted a relatively low wage offer in a cross entry job in the IT-World (Service Desk/Consultant for a special kind of software).

    I feel like everything worked out but ok but I lately also feel like this new "passion" for IT was more of an escape from me failing in the old topic I have chosen. After I read the book "So good they can't ignore you" I started slowly to realize that I didn't needed to find a new interest I needed the discipline to become good at what I was all ready doing. I could just as good be more disciplined with my old study subjects and learned a lot more interesting stuff and would be financial more successful today.

    To sum up my experiences and thoughts in a short paragraph:

    Everything becomes uninteresting if you spent enough time with it and don't really understand it. That is the time when you develop new passions and alternative plans or passions. Usually the main difference to your current situation is that they are hypothetical. If you would like to switch your career path you should switch to something where you can use your past experiences. Maybe you can find something which focuses more on the 10% of your study subject you find interesting and which allows you to also use your adjacent knowledge. This way you "become so good that they can't ignore you" and build valuable skills. This skills will give you leverage to dictate you working environment after your liking. If you become really good at something you start to like it more and think of it as more interesting. It also increases your self-esteem and your level of happiness

    What you do isn't as important as how you do it. I would advice you to stick to it or change to an adjacent study subject and then focus on becoming the best fucking student!

    • Like 1

  17. These questions are always hard to answer objectively. Usually only you can have a feeling if things go do were against the commitment you have taken. Did it feel similar to you gaming before? If it should count as relapse if not it shouldn't. The idea of this detox is to break your old patterns of action. If this is something totally different to you you have no reason to count this as a relapse. 

    • Like 1
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