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Cindpline

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Everything posted by Cindpline

  1. Title says it. I constantly think how to get better in every moment. Like how can I be more happy in this moment. How should I think, What should think etc. It makes me anxious and stressed and affects my health mentally and physically. Meditation, gratitude journal everyday is what I know.
  2. Can it change your personality? And how?
  3. Cindpline

    This community is amazing

    This community is amazing. And the people here are amazing. Thank you for this community.
  4. Cindpline

    Feeling anxious

    I completed my 90 day detox in April. But it didn't do much. I just believed that being the 90 days without games will make me happier. But it didn't really. I spent the detox in my hobbies, school, and browsing the internet. But a while ago I saw @Moe Smith 's post Quit it all! Gaming wasn't enough. And there he said he was getting the dopamine highs from alternative activities. Like manga, browsing internet and browsing youtube. And that was my magic bullet. It's my second day not browsing the internet mindlessly. And it's amazing. I can feel feelings and emotions, like Moe. But the problem is I'm feeling anxious all the time. Because I have to be aware that I don't mindlessely browse the internet. I don't know how much is too much, and which activity is a bad one where I get too much dopamine. Is listening to music bad during the detox? I can't quit internet entirely that is sure. And quitting youtube would prevent me from many things. Like if a friend if a friend asks me to watch a funny video or I have to listen to a song I practice on piano. So which activities I have to prevent for the dopamine levels to lower? Is this like a Detox, like if I recognize my self browsing the internet do I fail? What should I focus on now?
  5. Cindpline

    Feeling anxious

    @Peluconus @seriousjay @karabas Thank you all. I really appreciate your help. I will use it in the future. I think the main thing to do for me know is to only browse productively. Man, life is complex. ?
  6. Cindpline

    Back on quitting.

    And now, back here again. I quit gaming again, because I think it's just wasting time. I should think about my future and accomplish things and live life that I could be proud of and be happy. I relapsed because I lost hope on life without games. I was depressed cause I repeatedly thought how everyone was ahead of me personally and do not have problems like this. Why me. Well It is what it is. Another reason to my relapse was my upper stomach symptoms. I was very stressed about it and couldn't relax so I tried other things first: reading, podcasts, playing piano, but the only thing that got me relaxed was talking to my mom and I can't talk to her all the time. So I used gaming to relax too. Right now the symptoms have gotten worse so that's why I have no motivation to quit or make my life better. My mom also dislikes my self controlling sometimes. I have to control my eating now and she thinks it's too much. I am 47 kg and I shouldn't care about my weight. It's not about my weight I'm just trying to find more fun and stimulating than eating. Mom just can't understand my situation.
  7. Or is it even possible?
  8. Day 1 Okay, so recently I've had played video games. Because I made reasons in made head why I should play, and blamed why I was not happy - my depression. I think I'm not addicted to them, but I think I need to stop playing them because: - I am running away from my problems - It reminds me of my old me - which I don't like. - I read @Some Yahoo 's article about dopamine and serotonin. I can see that when I stop playing I can't think only but that game I was playing. And I think that is due to that real life just doesn't give dopamine. I need to make it to give dopamine, and seretonin. (in seretonin I have improved.) Also it may be that I don't enjoy other things because the time I was not playing I was just trying to survive the detox but not start make life awesome. So now I want to show reasons I thought why I should continue to game. "Your thoughts were only how you can improve yourself in every situation. which got you stressed. Anxiety filled your body, you couldn't sleep. You got out of breath easily. It affected your health negatively! Games would allow you to stop feeling stressed and anxious! " "Learn to do it in moderation so you will be okay, the longer you do it, the easier it gets! It becomes a habit!" "Your self esteem and depression can be due to your depression, so depression therapy can fix your problems!" "If you don't really enjoy doing other things, that might be because of your depression, so quitting gaming doesn't fix your depression. "Being hard on yourself doesn't make you happy, why not just relax with games." "If I game, I can be my authentic self. Don't have to feel uncomfortable. To these protest I want to show for those reasons are above them. If you are running from your depression or thoughts constantly, they won't be fixed. It's good to have a little temporary escape, but when It becomes avoidance, no good. For the health reason, I don't know, I think I can't quit if that's in the way. But I can help it by talking to the psychologist about these, doing a relaxing practice, meditation and gratitude journal everyday. I think that we people need to be in to our comfort zone sometimes. That allows us to relax. And for a tip for me, think positively. AND REMEMBER TO NOT BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF! BE WHAT YOU ARE IN THE MOMENT. TAKE SMALL STEPS AT A TIME! STOP THINKING HOW CAN I DO THIS MOMENT BETTER TOO MUCH, BECAUSE IT STRESSES YOU TOO MUCH. Also, I've got dry eyes so I'm not sure if I'm able to write in this journal anymore but I hope if I put eyedrops 4 times a day it would get better. I'm writing this constantly feeling my left eye very dry.
  9. Cindpline

    Journey to living a fulfilling and happy life

    Day 1 Relapsed. But I don't know does it matter. Game Quitters has changed my thinking negatively. It has gotten me to think that gaming is bad.
  10. It would be nice to chat to people around my age. ?
  11. Cindpline

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Hi, I'm also struggling with Youtube. I don't want to quit it entirely, but to now waste time there. I think deleting steam is definitely a good start. Good luck!
  12. Cindpline

    Journey to living a fulfilling and happy life

    Day 2-3 I just translated living life to the fullest to Finnish and realised that it doesn't mean living every second happy or hyped up, it means living life where you have everything what you need to be happy. Or I don't know, does it mean that? I went cycling yesterday evening and I could feel emotions. I didn't have brain fog that moment, I felt a feeling in every thing. It was amazing. I had forgotten how amazing life can actually be. It's more than I think I quess. I think this is a part what being happy is like. And unfortunately I watched gameplay from the game: Detroit: Become Human. I actually felt very interested to that game. It's very interesting to see how the world would look like in 2038, were there are androids in every day life. But watching that I just keep to my old seIlf. And I want to change to better, so I don't want to keep to my old life. My old self is more careful, doesn't talk too much, is a silent kid. But he was not depressed, he had games. When I was gaming, I think I didn't actually like playing the piano. I just did it because I had to and because people praised me how a good pianist and a musical kid I am. I think I was not addicted, but dependent of games. When my piano lesson ended I was just excited because I can go to game now. ;( So I think it never was my passion. Gaming was kinda my passion. Now I am reading Respawn, tomorrow a visit for a Psychologist. bucket list: - new headphones - fix my phone - white board
  13. Cindpline

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Sounds good. I relapsed in day 1 ? Here back again. Stay strong!
  14. Cindpline

    Journey to living a fulfilling and happy life

    Day 1 Here again, relapsed. I played a mobile game called It's a very good game, yeah. But addictive, like all games. I surrended to the urge to play and blamed depression again. I saw many reasons why the reason to my bad feeling was not games. So if it's because depression, I can play right? No. I listed reasons why I wanted to game: I can't experience satisfaction in anything else at the moment I could escape my depression a little bit. I don't want to face the reality Why I wanted to stop gaming and delete the game Bad conscience But yesterday when I accepted that the main reason why I feel depressed was depression, (though I'm not diagnosed yet, I just watched depression quotes and I related to them very much so that made me convinced that it's due to depression) I didn't feel this anxiety and stress what to say when with friends, does he think I'm weird, etc. I just accepted depression. And I wrote this: "Game Quitters tries to say that I'm not allowed to be depressed." Stop procrastinating, think positively, set up your goals, all this. Yesterday I was so hyped up and angry of games so I cycled 3 kilometres and sweared that for 90 days I will: Meditate everyday 10 mins not play games no candy but desserts yes "WORK always an antidote to depression" - Eleanor Roosevelt. Wow, great quote.
  15. Cindpline

    Rant of life

    This is too hard. Most of the day I only think about improving myself, which stresses me. In my childhood I had different feelings in many things. Now I just feel only blank. I can't even tell when I'm really full of food. Right now I'm fucking underweight. I have been trying to eat enough and properly but still I'm fucking underweight. I don't know who to listen to. Game Quitters or my parents. Well Game Quitters and Cam Adair tells to do work for it. I've been trying! But it's so fucking slow! And also, the Cam's fuck motivation video. Is life supposed to be with no motivation? So you should just do everything with willpower? No? I'm struggling even now with the problem that I don't know what my problem is.
  16. Cindpline

    Rant of life

    @DRCC @Cam Adair Thanks.
  17. Cindpline

    Rant of life

    @Helms Yes, my parents know what I'm struggling with but they just don't seem to understand me. Game Quitters seems to understand me. I have booked up a visit for a physcologist. Hope it helps. I just wonder, should I do Depression therapy, or should I do the GQ Challenge and start my life. Maybe both. But thanks mate for the help. @Helms
  18. Cindpline

    Quit it all! Gaming wasn't enough.

    Hey Moe Smith, I think I have just the same problem. Browsing youtube mindlessly was something that I have done but now I have stopped it. And I quess that's why my gaming detox hasn't helped like for others. Now I use internet only productive things. But I don't know does it help. Well I can't quit internet overall that's a fact. So I'll try it. Also, that's amazing you can feel real emotions. I've also had no emotions, but I hope this helps. I hope. ?
  19. I went to the doctor because my stomach hurt when I stand straight or when I sit straight. Well he said that it's an infection in the stomach and I must wait a couple days to wait if it goes away. And that it's nothing serious. I was at a blood test about 4 weeks ago and there was nothing special. Before I visited him I was crying because I feared I was going to die. Because I looked over internet (which is not a good idea for me) and my symptoms leaded to stomach cancer. But according to the doctors, mom and dad it is not cancer. But still I doubt if it's something serious. I haven't had these kind of symptoms ever. Also stress can be a reason too to this and maybe this self control and discipline is doing that. I went to the blood test because I had enlarged lymph nodes in my neck. But now they have decreased and the doctor said that means that then it is nothing serious. But if I see things boring that is ok. Maybe that is just being a teenager. And not every activity cam be fun. I haven't been playing for 150+ days but still not big changes. Except I laugh more. But can browsing the internet mindlessely also prevent the dopamine from getting to lower levels? I don't know. Maybe I should stop controlling my self so much. I dont know what is wrong with me. Please help.
  20. Cindpline

    Relapsed but I don't care.

    The reasons I quit gaming was because I noticed that I'm addicted to it kinda. But I think that's normal. Like Cam is addicted to DJ:ing. Now I have to get calm, cause now I am sick and I'm scared if it's something serious . But nothing can stop me from this fear, so I relapsed but I don't care, because it's still a cure for me to not think about it. I relapsed and I actually feel better. Because I know this person. Me who played. I still do things outside gaming I'm not that addicted. When you have understanding to yourself you have understanding to others. Seriously I hate the life without gaming. It was a void. Know I know who I am with gaming. Or I just relapsed because life without gaming is too hard. I couldn't find anything interesting. I think now that the key for me is to moderate.
  21. Cindpline

    90 Days No Coffee!

    Awesome!
  22. Cindpline

    Letting go of your ego

    Hey, any tips on how to finding your new identity and how to get comfortable with it?
  23. This is a very important post for me, I hope you read it carefully and then post your opinions then. Thank you. I have theories of my problem. There are like two sides: One side tells I was gaming addicted, the other that I just had bad self esteem because my good friend bullied me when we changed schools and went to fifth grade. (or I just felt he bullied me) Why my problem would have been gaming: I felt shame and quilt after I was gaming and before I went to gaming I felt that the games were the best thing ever. When I played I always played more than I thought or I told myself. After 150 days without games I laugh a lot more. And I enjoy other things bit more, and my social skills have improved not so much, but little bit. When I eat sweets or chips, play solitaire, It is hard for me to stop. (that means my brain was used the dopamine in gaming and now when I get dopamine similar to gaming the brain wants dopamine more and more. I can relate to many things in this forum and Cam´s videos. I couldn't play games in moderation. Maybe the bullying didn't participate in this maybe I just realised that gaming was bad for me. There were many relapses and always after I played I felt shameful and said: "Never game again!" But then usually after two weeks I said "I can play moderation." Why would I be addicted?" and then I relapsed. And then repeat. Why my problem would not be gaming: I have played video games since I was 4-5 years old (except I don't play now.) and I've had no problems with them but then when I I went to fifth grade I was bullied by my good friend indirectly. It felt that he did it on purpose but I'm not sure. He made jokes that mocked me, but he did on others too. I always hoped that he would'nt have came to school. And when he came, I was anxious and scared when he would mock me some way. When there were just 2 of us he was nice. But when there were others I think then he started to not notice me. I have other hobbies also: Playing an instrument, the lesson was once a week (I practiced at least two times a week.) It included music theory which I had once a week. I have also played football (1th - 3th grade) Here are things that happen in puberty: Trying to find who I am, feels like nobody understands, and feels like I can't understand myself either, Everyone wants to be normal, but still it feels like you are different, unsure if you are good enough by yourself, mind's changes feel confusing. So I just think that maybe I should just accept who I am, Not trying to become a better person. The bullying wasn't that bad but I think It made me hard to accept myself. The bullying theory makes sense. Maybe I just had so low self-esteem and that I escaped to games or I just thought they were bad. I know that the bullying and gaming problem consern in some way. But I just can't fit them together. What do you think?
  24. Cindpline

    I don't know what my problem is.

    No, I have not relapsed. This is just too much for me. I want to get out of this labyrinth. Also, What? I didn't understand. ? Ok I think I know the real problem. I quit gaming, because I didn't have all the skills that others did have. That I am different from others. And that's when puberty comes out. Puberty happens different time with people. For me it happened later compared to my surrounding people.
  25. Cindpline

    I don't know what my problem is.

    What if game quitters brainwashed me? Game quitters has become a religion for me. I want to just live happy and balanced life. Not trying to set up goals or be super productive, I'm 14. I should enjoy life more! It was at the same time when I saw my gaming as bad and bullying started. And also like Philipp said usually gaming is the escape from the real problem. For me, It wad bullying, so I don't need to set up goals, get better social skills. I need my mind free. I want to know what is my problem. I think it's bad self-esteem. Bullying made me think that there is something wrong with me. And I need to change it. So I came to game quitters. Game quitters presses me. I need to see a therapist. I'm not coming to this website anymore. Except I will read the replies to this post.
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