addict10n

When it comes to meeting women the most common mistake we men make is that we pretty much dont do anything and expect to have results. What do I mean? If you want to meet people , or girls in particular you have to TRY. Taking dancing classes is a good step I think , but you need to actually talk to girls before/after the classes , to get to know them and/or work out a date. Meeting girls through social circle ,requires you to be decently social so make a concious effort. Meeting girls in bars and such is a whole different animal, and it's basically a lot of trial and error. You have to show up in life, in order to achieve anything.So you should , at your own pace, throw yourself out there and trying talking to people and girls. Always be you, and play at your strenghts. If you lack motivation it's proabably because of the fear of the unkown and the fear of you not being good enough.Try talking to girls without any particular intention,just chat and make small talk, lower your standards a bit, if you have positive interactions with a few girls , you will soon get the hang of it. I used to be big on the PUA stuff and even though I quit about 2 years ago feel free to message me if you want to talk about it fruther. Good luck out there soldier

In real life , knowing where you stand in terms of progress is hard.In games it was easier cause there was always a quest and a reward, or a certain level , or a ranking system to validate your growth and progress.In college and uni it's much harder to get the same feeling of accomplishement or achievement because the fruits of your labour come harder and sometimes months later. Also this feeling of having achieved nothing , is not neccesarily a bad thing, it may be an indicator that you are focusing on the wrong things.Perhaps you coud start some new activities , explore yourself and expand your comfort zone by meeting new people and trying new things.Sometimes we live our lives following others people advice and a "plan for success" that doesnt fullfill us at the end of the day, and maybe we just need to discover what we really want to do in our lives with the time we are given.

I'm back on this forum that first helped me quit gaming after a couple years. Recently I had a long hardcore relapse when I was playing 10-15 hours a day. I'm back to square one.

Do you ever feel like trying in life is not worth the effort? Do you ever feel restricted by circumstances that keep you beat down?Like you dont have a choice but to endure an awfully unpleasant and unfullfilling routine? You find yourself in such a situation tangled in bullshit ,having to talk to people you dont like, doing things you dont like , every day of your life till you are so empty that you have to indugle in any form of addiction to fill the void. Games, gambling,porn , alchool, whatever to just feel the void. At one point you become aware of the fact that your addiction no longer helps , but actually makes you worse, you seek help, you research, you find people who have been through this before , they tell their story and you can relate, they tell you you can do it and encourage you to break out of the addiction circle,they give you tips and support to make it out. You now know how your body, brain and emotion works, you know what you have to do, what you must do to reach your goal.You start doing all the right things , you are in the "control phase",you force yourself to fight your fears and expand your comfort zone, and for a while you make it. You eventually beat your affliction( or so you think), and with a spark of life within you start a new journey, only this time wiser and stronger.Your ego feeds on the accomplishment and you fly high.You start noticing certain common behaviours among all people, same fears, same insecurities same things that make us tick and you start to understand both yourself and other people at a really high level.You start noticing the social constructs and the set of beliefs that lead to these limiting beliefs that cause so much unhapiness and distress to people who have them. Your focus shifts from your addiction and your problems to the outside world,you start to notice the delusion, the fear, the unfairness of it all. Self righteous riligious people, activists,feminists,right wing, left wing, racists,lobbyists,climate change denyers,climate change activists and all kinds of other ideological groups and you think to yourself, why do they even bother? You look all around and all you see is vanity and people chasing ghosts.They all have this deep wants and needs that most of them are not even aware of, They go about chasing this needs in the most perculiar , misled and ridicolous ways. Some guys invest 10 years on becoming succesfull empty suit type of people because they think the girl of their dreams wont look at them unless they have wealth and are succesfull in society first. Some girls will never enjoy themsleves sexually cause they think that indulging in sexual intercourse outside marriage is sinfull. Couples will marry someone they dont particularly love and they will stay in the relationship unhappy for years or their entire life, untill one of them dies and the other is left on a deathbed regretting all the risks he didnt took and how fast lived past him by. Parents will "stay in it for the kids", exposing their children to a hostile and unloving environment where no affection whatsover is shown. They will rationalize that it is best for the kids , while they are only doing it for themselves as they are afraid to break up even though the marriage sucks. You still have people (particularly from western world countries) who invade middle east countries and steal their resources, and then claim it's defence against terrorism and the general public genuinely believes that. What is more sad is that there are soldiers that are so brainwashed that they think they are doing their country a great favour by their sacrifice , they call them heroes, indeed they are by slaughtering other people and stealing their resources the average western man (myself included) can live a life of luxury. People will be lead by populists politicians believing that somehow a change is politics is what they are waiting, or that the main problem in the life and the reason they are not doing that wll is the goverment One could go on FOREVER, and I mean a FOREVER with listing examples of people's faults , contradictions, bigotry and psychopathy.But what is the point,I'm sure anyone can add fresh ideas and observations to this depressive list. The logical conclusions once you have trully realised all these are: Option 1. change your mindset to all good , focusing on the brightside, optimistic life kind of bullshit and surround yourself with other dreamers untill you forget the bad stuff Option 2.Just keep doing what you and everyone else is doing, it's how it has been and how it will be. Option 3.Become distnat, depressed and completely fucked up, indulge in addictions and genrally become a shade of yourself waiting to die, behind a computer screen or at the bottom of an emty bottle. Opion 4.Exploit this phychopathy's this inherent biases, flaws and the general egotism,self righteousness , and idiocy of people to make profit .Use this knowledge to your benefit . After you have made profit you can either decide to help solve the problems by hitting the root of the issue with your new acquired resources , or you can just sit back and exploit your loot, maybe write a self help book about how other people can make it.People will think you are somekind of a hero, a new Trump or a new Richard Branson, doesnt matter how many people you trumpled over to get to where you are,doesnt matter if you sold false promises or some new technological bullshit gadget, all the matters is that people believe that you offer them value, even if you do absolutely do not offer them anything but take up their time and money. Life goes on , and self proclaimed "good people" will keep doing what their doing wether good or bad they will rationalise that it is actually good so they can feel better about themselves. One has to wonder, perhaps indulging into addiction , like video games is not that bad afterall, assuming you can provide for yourself and do not have people depending on you .

@Tatu92 Hey. Since January 2016 I've went out to bars by myself at least 50 times,so been there, done that. (I dont really count but you get the point).I also visited 2 countries on my own during the summer and met many people there as well.My motives are to meet women ,exploring cool places and fighting boredom but there are plenty of reasons one could try "flying solo". I still go out alone to bars and such but not as often. The point is that I've been through the stages of social pressure and to me right now it's not that big of deal. If you need any help on how to get started and how to fight the voice in your head telling you it'd will be wierd and whatnot or if you are worried about what other people will think I believe I can help you, send me a PM if you want to talk about it and share your experiencesabout going out solo and/or meeting girls.

I deleted my facebook account couple years back for various reasons. Do you guys think that having facebook is helpfull for social interactions and activites and meeting people in real life?

Day 10. "Slow day" I did a lot of unwinding today.Went to the gym, met with a friend but a lot of sitting around and watching TV. Exams period is over and uni classes for the next semester dont start untill early october,which means I have a week completely free of "school obligations". Although I'm gratefull for this free week, I'm not entirely sure I have enough activities to fill so much free time. I'll have to try outa bunch of stuff and new activites.I dont want to just kill time.

Yeah and I'm thinking about joining a yoga class next week in the gym and see how it is. Day 9 I woke up early . I did really well in the first exam for uni and I 'll probably just pass the second one.I'm wuite satisfied with this.Gaming Relapse in the middle of the exam period was really costly but at least I managed to salvage the situation and pass 4-5 classes. Had a meal and hit the gym.Tomorrow I'm going to meet some friends from an online forum.I'm pretty hyped about that. I'm trying to make daily meditation a habit even for a couple mins, just the slow ,concious breathing helps me relax and clear my mind.

Day 8. I did quite a lot of studying today , I have 2 exams tomorrow. I binged on youtube videos ,internet browsing and other stuff,maybe the stress of the exams or lack of focus . It is just a day and I'm not perfect so it's fine.I just have to watch so it doesnt become a habit. I joined a group workout in the gym which is fun, I enjoy talking to people who are into fitness like myself. Set up a meet-up with some guys I met on a forum and we are meeting this wknd. Listened to a cool podcast.Tomorrow I have 2 three hour exams with 3 hours in between so I'll have to grind it out.

You need to find ways to make yourself happy,without gaming.Make a LONG list of things that you enjoy doing and do them. For example I like to dance to songs like crazy when no one is around, I like to chew random shit like pencil caps or things like that(probably unhealthy but I dont really care, it takes the stress of me). I like jogging using an app so I can record my running activites and review my progress. I also like getting laid which is why I put a lot of effort into imporving that aspet of my life. See a huge part of life is just filling it up with healthy and productive activites that make you feel fullfilled and good with yourself , rather than activites that damage your body, brain ,psyche and cause you pain.

Day 7 Did some sutdying for school in the morning.Today I went to the gym around mid-day,I noticed that when you workout out early in the day , the day seems longer which is really cool.Did some shopping downtown, I like the fact that there are a lot of people out in the street at this period of the year.I went jogging early afternoon , something I enjoy doing. Positive things, I didnt play any chess online today and have no urge to play either. Tomorrow I'll have to put my best foot forward to prepare for the exams on friday.

Good idea,I will check what clubs there are next week when the exam period is over.I know there are a few clubs in my uni but havent really done much research on it to see what these are exactly.

Day 6 I managed to keep on schedule this morning, although I kinda fucked up in the evening.I managed to get quite a few things done today and I'm happy for that.Bought some cool training equipment. I'm still sutdying for 2 exams in the same day this upcoming friday for the Uni.If I pass both it will be a huge relief, getting that monkey of my back.

Day 5. I woke up at 7am to the sound of a storm, turns out I had left the window upstairs open(the weather seemed fine yesterday),needless to say the floor was all yet and the storm did some minor damages to my bedroom window. Late last night I scheduled my morning, I found that this really helped me get a few things done , like having proper meals, studying for exams and relaxing while managing to squeeze in some errunds I had to run as well.I listened to an awesome podcast. I'm gonna stick with this schedule the next day idea and see how it goes (i'm using an app I downloaded yesterday called timetune).Hit the gym early evening for a good workout and I might go for a night run as well. Things I'm begining to notice: I have no urge to game at the moment , at least not for now.If I manage to stop online chess completely I'll be 100% video game free. I feel like I'm starting to get back on my feet after the relapse although I have a long long long way to go to achieve some goals I have in mind. I know I got my workout routine down, once it becomes a habit I know I can stay in good physical health and do my daily training without problem. Things I gotta work on: I need to work on making studying for uni a habit even if it is just for 1 hour. Meditation and reading books needs to become a habit as well. I feel my social confidence is increasing , making new friends and crating a new social circle is something I need to conciously work on.

Hey bro, I can definetelly relate.You are right, single player is just a story you tell your self to go back at it,you must not give in, hold strong. It's really important we understand that we only remember the "good times" .we tend to for get the feelings of emptiness, the feelings of physical , emotional and mental fatigue after a long gaming session.The depressing moments when you've wasted whole days in the computer wondering why days pass you by so fast.I watched my body and my health deteriorate while spending countless hours gaming. I watch my relationships with non game friends were crubbling , I was completely indefferent about what is going on in the world or in the live a of people close to me and what did I do about it?I gamed.Only thing thats mattered was getting my fix from video game s. We lie to ourselves thinking of the "awesome times" spent gaming,when in fact it wasnt tha great,it was a miserable life style ,at least for me. I played video games as a kid too,much like you and I remember some fun times.But when I was a kid(or a teen) I had fun pretty much anywhere.Looking back, I regret missing out on so many things at highschool ...having a girlfriend , continuing in football and chess clubs ,having more social interactions and meeting more people , facing my demons earlier in life.You mentioned anxiety and depression,those and many more are issues I havev struggled with. I regret not trying to face these earlier and postponing...not facing my fears and shortcomings by indulging into gaming till I was so numb I could cut one arm off and feel completely nothing The one thing I really despise about the times I was completely addicted to gaming was being slave to my emotional and my urges.The lack of any self control , the lack of integrity when you say to your self just 1 game and you get up after 10 game ,the feelings that some imaginary world had so much power over your will, your emotional and your life, that is what I "hate" most about the times I spent gaming. Bottom line is, it's really east to fool ourselfs and idealising about the gaming life style. We are hardwired to remember only the good stuff.Even in relationships, Sometimes we dont get a long we people from family/friends or significant others,we go out seperate ways ...after a whole we tend to only remember The beat times with that other personal completely oblivious to all the pain and friction that we went through. Life can be great , but life is what you makes it ,right to makes your life better and for hapiness and well being , the everyday struggle is what makes life interesting.Fuck video games

Day 4. I have to stop playing chess online, it is not helping.I'd like to unplug my computer and go cold turkey without computer for a while but I cant do it because I have to study on the pc.I picked up some self help books that I have left unfinished and start listening to podcasts again.Today I ordered a few other books as well,delivery date is mid to late October... I gotta set up a weekly schedule and organise myself a bit.I think it's crucial that I socialise more and go out more but I'm progressing really slow. Hopefully I will meet up some guys from my city that I met from a forum about dating ,going out to pick up girls was something that I would do a lot before I relapsed but havent gone out of my way to talk to girls for while now.Living in my parents house is really annoying for so many different reasons. On the bright side my physical state is improving a lot and I've studied a bit about the school exams the upcoming friday.

@Cam Adair I used to be in chess club many years back , It's something I enjoyed and met a lot of people there, unfortunately this club that I was in no longer exists, I looked it up.I was also interested in joining a mountain biking club but I'll probably have to invest some money to get a decent bike and gear. I'm still looking for other activites that are available in my area.

@sirjk I'm not sure me playing chess is a good idea cause I'm playing online, anyway thanks for the support bro. Day 3. Played a lot of chess today, went to the gym and did some minor reading ( 4 hour-Body )and some studying for school. Not really much going on , I gotta find social activites to join, i'm looking for what is available in my area.I'm going jogging and then out for a walk downtown tonight.

@AlexTheGrape I appreciate your advice Alex, but I just dont know where to find people who share my interests and could potentially be my friends.I dont know where to look or what activities I can join to meet such people in my area. @sirjk I'd describe myself as an extrovert.During my relapse I played Dota 2 and CS:GO mostly, but I would play pretty much anything at that point. Day 2 Woke up around 10am which means I'm getting closer to my goal to wake up earlier in the morning.This morning was a "dead" morning ,I didnt really get anything done , I played chess online for a few hours (I think it's a substitute for gaming and therefore I have to stop).I hit the gym early evening for a good workout, but other than that not much going on .I'm not getting any stimulation whatsoever and I lack enthusiasm or the will to do anything creative or new.Saw some cute girls in the gym but nothing really happend, 2-3 months back I'd be talking to them within 5 mins of seeing them, seems like I lost this touch as well.I want to find new activites to join and maybe meet some people to go out with but I dont know where to start or where to look for.I feel like most people in my city have a completely different culture and mentality, like I cannot really relate or open up to most people I have met around my age.I think I'm gonna take a walk around town tonight and maybe grab something to eat while I'm at it.

Recentely I had a huge relapse streak that has caused me some problames so I'm starting a daily journal untill and the end of Septemeber and I'll see from there on.Bear with me , here goes. Day 1 I seem to be getting into a good sleeping schedule. I went to bed around 1.30 am and woke up around 10.30 am which is a major improvement.The past week when I was on the relapse streak I used to go to bed at 5-6 am and wake up around midday.I was planing to take an exam tomorrow but due to major procrastination and wasting a lot of time I didnt study and it's pointless to go to the exam with just 1 day of preparation , so I will have to cut my losses and skip this one and focus on studying for the 2 upcoming class exams next week. I hit the gym early evening and joined a group workout , it was a blast!It was a Cross training 1 hour program,it's an awesome workout and keeps you totally enganged. Things I'm working on right now: I'm trying to improve my nutrition habits.Unlike most people I'm struggling to gain weight ,I hit the gym almost everyday and I also enjoy running at night for many kilometers which means that I have to eat a shitload of food to keep my weight as is or even gain some, that is somewhat of a problem cause I dont really eat that much. I have to start early and prepare good for the upcoming exams for school next week, I just cant afford to fail those classes cause I'm allready behind. I'm facing 2 major problems that played a huge role in my relapse. 1. Lack of friends with similar interests,mindset , goals and general lack of social circle. 2.Lack of activities that keep me interested and engaged .I just have too much "free time" .I know I can fill that time with studying for school, or doing other mandatory things that I dont really enjoy , I know I cant keep this in the long run , it makes feel dead and depressed.I have to find some sort of activity that involves socialising and meeting new people .Living in a relatively small town in Greece , meetup.com wont work for me. The source of my problems is scarcity mentality. I honestly believe that my options where I am right now are limited in some many ways and so many fields in my life.Wether that is true or not I dont know but that is my perception right now and I know deep down that this is working as a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm gonna go shopping this afternoon , maybe get some sports gear and a good shirt . Cheers everyone, Chris

Welcome Josh.Good luck.

I cant pinpoint it to just 1 thing.I believe I relapsed because I was not satisfied with my life, I had put in a lot of work on my self and had no results to show for it,I am bored and stressed with my school as well.Recipe for disaster..I'll start a journal like you suggested

Hey man. Congrats on your progress so far. I can definetelly relate to your situation.I was a "gamer" since highschool and I'd say 60% of my friends were gamers too . When I quit I pretty much lost some of my best friends , and some others moved away to study and such, I have many people that I know and chat occasionaly but really really ,really few people that I'd call "friends" , it's not how I want things to be but I'm working on it...that said , I dont have any groundbreaking advice for you ,but I think I know how you feel. Frankly, I dont think having many groomsmen is such a big issue.It's something that I wouldnt be too worried about, if you get married, it's your day , your life and the way I see it ,I'd be more happy with 1 or 2 groomsmen that are close to me and share my hapiness than a bunch of guys that I am not really that close to.

So I was totally out of it for about a year but I relapsed late August.I've been hitting 15 hours straight per day .I managed to quit for a couple weeks while on vacation , but I relapsed again after I got back home mid August.I've been playing a lot , I've tried quitting again by deleting the games, uninstalling my desktop pc and moving it away but I just cant keep away from it.It's exams period and I missed a few exam classes cause I wasted my time gaming rather than studying.I'm midway through the exams period now and I decided that this uninstall - install and hit 16 hours cant go on anymore,so I am back here looking for some support.

First of all, kudos for showing up and asking her out,at the end of the day you did your part. I believe your interpretation is the most accurate.BUT, like the guys above suggested , give it another go. This time be a bit more bold if you can handle the stress and uncertainty. So when you feel like it ( preferably sooner rather than later),go talk to her again tell her that you find her cute (if you do) ,or basically offer her a sincere compliment that communicates that you are interested in her as a woman.Just tell her you want to take her out for a coffee or drink at your favoroutie cafe at xx time because you think she is (sexy,cute,gorgeous or whatever you honestly think about her). Make sure to smile , keep your head high and chest out (be mindfull of your posture) and look her in the eyes. That way you show up as a man and you'll get the proper respect.