DaBest

Great list. How can you reframe the pain to pleasure? What you focus on is what you feel, and we always have the power of reframe at our disposal. For example: Spend an hour searching for new job postings. (This will help me make money, which will allow me to have the opportunity to do XYZ.) Always reframe negatives to positives. I never thought about reframing like that before. My brain does go negative quite a bit, and I've been working on focusing more on positives rather than what I might've failed at. There was a great Art of Charm podcast a while ago with Rick Hanson that talked about how the brain is like "velcro for the bad and teflon for the good" and that it's worth it to enjoy the positive moments more for one's sanity. I'll give it a try. --- Day 5 Did all 3 of my list! I finished my day off with a 0 for my screen time abuses which I don't think I've ever done before on a day off. Today I wasn't as successful in that department as I was just really mad today about...things, and I kind of just let go. Tomorrow will be better. I'm going to keep this post short. I didn't plan my new habit yet. Goals for tomorrow (which I'll do without fail): 1) Apply to job I found (draft, edit, and apply...the whole thing) 2) Plan habit.

Thanks for the ideas Cam! Tomorrow I'm going to spend some time fleshing out a new habit to do that, and I'll make sure to check the download out before I do so. Ironically, the article on self-discipline I read about today really got me thinking about the vision problem deeper than I have than in the past. --- Day 4 Yesterday (well, today’s) mission has been successful! I edited the letter and I am able to send that to someone with some minor tweaks depending on who the letter is being presented to. Kind of along the lines of yesterday’s post, I read a great piece on discipline by Basil William Maturin on The Art of Manliness. It resonated with me, despite the fact that I am still working on developing my self-discipline. There were a couple of good points from the article. 1) Self-discipline is a means to an end. Here is the first paragraph: “We do not endure [self-discipline] merely for its own sake, but for what lies beyond it. And we bear those acts of self-denial and self-restraint because we feel and know full well that through such acts alone can we regain the mastery over all our misused powers and learn to use them with a vigour and a joy such as we have never known before…” Self-discipline can be a real pain at times—like at this very moment—but I know if I am feeling pain, it’s probably in an area where I could grow if I just leaned into the pain a bit. This makes total sense when I write this down, but in the moment my reptile brain can take over. Currently I am feeling an intense urge to resume my leisure Internet usage when I’m done with this post, but I know I’ve already used up all but 5 minutes of my allotment today so once I’m done I can only do work on the Internet. Instead, I can work—another thing I am avoiding right now—on the job search and improve my chances of getting a job and overcoming the pain. Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain…a constant theme in the areas where I NEED to grow most. 2) Self-discipline kills bad-action-self and gives birth to bad-ass-self. My habits and thought processes are not really conducive to my goals and functioning as a productive member of society. An honest assessment of my work habits are that I’m lazy, lack direction, easily distracted, would rather not do something out of fear of rejection or fear of missing out on other stuff, and not always focused at the goal. In particular, the part about not being focused on the goal bothers me as I’m struck that many of the great figures I’ve learned about this year all had a very strong focus on their vision and goals. Video games and Youtube will not get me where I want to be, only hard work can. I need to develop that strong focus. 3) “Without such an inspiring motive [discipline] is meaningless, it is cruel self-torture.” Preach. The more I deal with the Internet problem, the more I see value in having a constant focus on my vision as a tool to deal with actually WORKING TO MY VISION and overcoming this bad habit. I want to work hard but I’m not a masochist—I wouldn’t work hard at something if I didn’t see it as a means to an end for something else like a goal, or safety, or notoriety, etc. To be honest, when I’m on the Internet and I feel bad for being on for the 10th or 12th hour straight on my Saturday, the thought of doing something more fulfilling just doesn’t cross my mind. I only just feel shitty, and that feeling drives me further into the Internet in order to drown the pain. If I can break that loop with work or going out as being a positive thought, maybe I can break the habit. So tonight after I log off Game Quitters I’m going to: 1) Not watch TV, or use the Internet for leisure as my time for that is gone for the day. (Pain) 2) Spend an hour searching for new job postings. (Very painful) 3) Deal with a current situation at my job that I need to address by tomorrow morning. (Worst pain, but will be fruitful.) [wall of text over] http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/02/26/manvotional-discipline-the-means-to-an-end/

Day 3 I followed through! I drafted the letter last night. Tonight I was busy with other stuff, but tomorrow I will edit it to the point where I have the final product. One of the things that have been on my mind a lot recently is forgetting what my goals and dreams are, like getting an engineering job for one. I don’t totally forget about it, but there are times where it’s not sitting in the forefront of my mind, like when I get home from my current job and my first instinct is to relax. I need to make sure I start reminding myself before I take a break about what my goals are in an attempt to stay focused and not overdo the break itself. I want to become a great engineer and a great man, so I really need to keep on task much better than I am. In terms of screen time today, I logged a 4 on my screen time abuses (maybe I’ll break down how I track that later), which is not a bad score relative to the past. I was scoring an average 9 a day back in July Today was nearly my third consecutive 0 in a row and I almost did it so that bothers me. However, I need to be very vigilant tomorrow as I have off work and will be doing computer-based work all day, and I know I can rack a 12 with ease if I’m not careful (which is really bad for me).

Thanks! My degree is in chemical engineering, but the field I'm looking to enter is kind very hard to break into. I know my degree can be used just about anywhere, I'm just being picky (at first...) --- Day 2. I am proud to announce I actually did NOT watch the Monday Night Football game last night. I instead took the time to read this really interesting biography I’m in the middle of. I even went to bed early. When I go on the computer, play games, or watch TV I tend to stay up really late, and when I can avoid them I tend to get to bed earlier because I’m usually really tired. The public pressure really helped me get through the hardest urges to even just check the score. The urges were just as bad when I was recovering from my LoL relapse this summer, which I can honestly say were really, really, sucky (but were the impetus for finding Game Quitters :D) Today I read an article on the science of self-discipline. It talked about how there are competing models of how someone has self-discipline and that there is quite a bit of research that needs to be done to really clarify how self-discipline works in the brain. One of the things researchers have discovered is that merely swishing one’s mouth with sugary water can be enough to boost self-discipline in subsequent tasks. Now, I don’t plan on going that route any time soon, but it makes me wonder how much my current state of health (re: poor) influences my self-discipline. When I consider that I spend at least several days worth of time on the Internet during a given week (especially before I got my current job), I wonder how many workouts I could’ve snuck in. Right now I just want to focus on keeping a consistent journal on self-discipline so I am always thinking about it, and focusing on my job search, but perhaps my health should be the next thing to fix after the first two. Tonight I am going to draft a cover letter for a generic position (i.e.: for cold-call connections, resume boards, etc.). If I don’t, call me out on it tomorrow, but I’m not going to let you guys get a chance to anyway See you tomorrow.

Hey Cam! Thanks for the suggestion! I really should read Duhigg's book. I see it referenced everywhere--I got to bite the bullet and just get it already. Also, thanks a bunch for setting up Game Quitters and for your videos. Your work is hugely important and I really hope it reaches everyone out there like myself who needs it! ---- Day 1 I had mixed results from yesterday. On the bright side, I turned off the TV at 11 PM, which even on a Sunday I can watch until 1 AM even though I had work in the morning. However, I was doing too much screen stuff throughout the day, and significantly overstepped the boundaries I laid out for myself (I’m charting my screen-time abuses and have tried to give myself a framework for my Internet usage). Tonight, I will not watch Monday Night Football and instead put my time to things that benefit me, like reading, meditating, or doing job search stuff, and I am publicly announcing this to put pressure on myself to come back tomorrow and not look like a fool. I am a Giants fan and have watched every game this year despite telling myself not to because I can get so emotionally invested into sports and I need a break from it. Those 3 hours are valuable and I don’t want to keep wasting them. I’d rather improve myself and compete against the real world than watch other people compete and live vicariously through them. See you tomorrow.

Day 0. Let me keep this short and sweet. I am a grossly underemployed college graduate (my own fault) suffering from a lack of self-control and self-discipline to do what I need to do to get a job in my major field. I am incredibly averse to working hard on my own, especially now that I’m out of school and that there are no grades I can cram for and get the most amount of credit for the least amount of effort—I coasted really hard in my education and I really regret it. My self-discipline and self-control issues mostly manifest itself in screen addiction, which includes the Internet, TV, sports, political news and video games. Ironically, the video game issue is actually the least of these issues, as I gave up gaming about 5 years ago, and only really suffered a significant relapse this past summer, but one I thankfully got past. I started using screens as a coping mechanism to tune out of abusive home and school environments back when I was a kid, and I never gave it up once things started getting better on both fronts. For the most of this year, and especially the last 5 months, I have really worked hard to cut out this crap habit from my life, and I have failed over and over again, and I will keep doing so and trying new things until I finally accomplish my goals. I need to improve my attitude, and I feel that public accountability could be a useful tool to help accomplish that. So here are my goals: 1) Develop my self-control, and especially develop my self-discipline. 2) Ditch the screen habit forever. 3) Get a job in my major field and become an all-around kick-ass individual, thanks to my discipline. 4) Document my triumphs and failures here—and PLEASE call me out on my BS! For right now I just want to do a post a day, minimum of one sentence for the next seven days, similar to the small steps techniques for building habits that I’ve read about from Leo Babauta (but I always ignored it, biting off more than I can chew.) I know this journal won’t focus on gaming all too heavily (I still get urges, obviously), but I feel my problem is very similar, just manifested slightly different. I hope that anyone who reads this can find value in the rest of the journal. Wish me luck and thanks for reading! And for the record, I will beat this.