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Mettermrck

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Everything posted by Mettermrck

  1. It's up to you, dirk, in how to fight. I had to quit several addictions at once (soda, gaming, porn) and I believe Moe did the same thing. If you can push through the withdrawal, it can be liberating. But it can also mean multiplied withdrawal symptoms. You might want to stay focused on one change at a time. Just plan your time well. And if you struggle with porn but avoid gaming, make that a victory in your mind.
  2. As someone who's been on and off estranged with my Dad for years due to addictions, I know how powerful being told "I'm proud of you" can be. Good on you, Moe! Glad you posted again.
  3. Hey, Orange, good to hear from you again. Yes, even though you're not as productive as you want to be, simply avoiding gaming at all is a victory in and of itself. Good job!
  4. I've thought about having a to do list in a paper notebook instead of my phone as well. It might make it more substantial and real and less virtual. Let me know how it goes!
  5. Day 29/90. Alright, four official weeks and closing in on the 1/3 mark for the detox. I think I'm in uncharted territory hehe. I didn't do too badly yesterday. I had my off day routine of reading, podcasts, and videos which passed the time and helped me avoid boredom. I did go to the gym after lunch and walked for 45 min on the treadmill. My Mom and I went to a minor league baseball game which had fireworks afterwards. That was a nice way of getting out of the house. Even though it was super muggy and I sweat a lot and we got home late, I had a good time. The fireworks were great. It was good being around other people. There's still some things I have to work on. I call it "tightening the last few screws" for the detox. I've talked about most already. 1. Full effort at work. I've gotten so used to having work be a material support for my gaming and eating habits and not as a source of meaning itself. 2. Fapping. I'm not depressed about it or anything. I just feel like I want to detox from this as well. I'm still great off the porn, but I feel sometimes that fapping is still the fumes of my porn habit, and a potential danger for relapsing and a gateway drug. After 90 days, I don't know if I'd stay off forever, but I'd like to break this cycle. 3. Cleaning. I'm trying to do more chores around the condo to help my Mom. I have a schedule and have done a little in fits and starts. Need to apply myself more. 4. Meditation. I need to do this, as a better way to process emotions than burying them with fapping dopamine. I have the app and the timeframe. Just gotta do it. 5. Project. I need a creative outlet, something to focus my passions. As Cam and a friend said in a recent video, a project is not a life sentence. But I need to try something to express myself. I still think it might have something to do with a history podcast. But I have to find that out for myself. Gratitude: 1. Enjoyed a nice time out with my Mom 2. I still went to the gym on a holiday 3. I drew up a nice daily checklist of tasks to keep me organized
  6. Good job making it to 80, giblets! I should try the no-phone rule sometimes to help me get focused and cut down on occasional bouts of mindless browsing.
  7. Hi, Pierce. It's almost a cautionary tale...quitting gaming is just step 1, not the total solution. I'm glad you're still writing, as a reference to folks like me that are still working their way through the detox.
  8. Wow 80 days, that's great, Chris! I'm getting there! Glad to see you had a good vacation.
  9. Hang in there, onlysoul. I've slacked off on meditation myself, not from a lack of desire but time constraints in the morning and exhaustion at night. Just have to keep trying!
  10. You are awesome, Jess! You don't have much to write because you're busy and getting on with your life. I'm glad you still write in your journal each day, Jess!
  11. You're doing great, Corvus. I'm about 30 days in and it feels like an eternity sometimes but it's all for the good. You'll have difficult times, pain, and stress, sure, but you'll face them because you won't escape into video games.
  12. A good job staying away from games, Jess. It sounds like you were focused on activities that kept you engaged and away from games.
  13. Welcome, B! You're in a good place for support for those of us who've had gaming take over our lives.
  14. I was watching a video with Cam today and he talked about the "one thing", figuring out what is the most important thing you want to do that day and focus on that.
  15. I wonder if the habit comes before the passion? I noticed that as I started exercising, I actually enjoy it now. It's maybe not a passion but I apply myself more. When I first started, it was more of a necessity, something I felt was important. You might need to try things first and then see if it ignites a passion.
  16. Day 28/90. Almost at four weeks and not doing too badly. I want to step it up at work so that I'm giving my best effort. With the gym benefits and possibly school benefits next year, I need to appreciate this job more and take advantage of it. I did walk in the morning and work out with weights at night. It feels so good to finally be taking care of my body. It's weird I have muscle developing but still a lot of fat. I'm not embarrassed...it just looks it's undergoing a transformation, which it is. In a year or two, I won't recognize myself. I called my priest to discuss my marriage. I'll have a solo talk first and then see about having a counseling session with the both of us. Honestly, I'm not holding out much hope. Yes, I've made huge changes for the better and yes, she's noticed (at least the weight loss part) but I think she's resigned herself to divorce. Not sure there's enough time. I have a little hope but it's also sad. I'm ok emotionally as long as I hold to these changes in my life. They'll carry me through no matter what happens in a couple months. Gratitude: 1. I am working out at the gym and changing my body. 2. I have a job with great benefits. 3. I am cultivated a network of supportive friends and family to help sustain me.
  17. I agree about the emotions. I've had vivid emotions over the last weeks. I cry often and too much. But I like to think that I'm just processing buried emotions.
  18. I thought about that too, leaving the forums. I would probably stay beyond the 90 days for some time until I felt the moment was right, if it ever was. But first I gotta get to 90 days hehe!
  19. If you watch Cam's youtube videos, he mentions that we are so hyperstimulated from gaming that when we quit gaming, everything seems boring by comparison. In time, you'll start enjoying other activities more. Yes I think sleep disturbance could be withdrawal. In my case it's less sleep not more so I would love to have your problem.
  20. Was there a pair of sandals or just one? ?
  21. Hey, Hitaru. It was sad reading your post because I saw so much of myself in that. It's hard to quit gaming when you're burdened by other addictions at the same time. If you quit one, you still feel miserable about the others. And if you quit them all, it's traumatic I can testify to that. I've battled that terror. I just hope you don't give up, Hitaru. Many times we think we're lost and then we find the strength to turn things around.
  22. Day 27/90. Today went well. I loved visiting my Dad and hated to leave but it's impossible to get time off at work for the holiday weekend. It felt good reconnecting with my father and I think he saw me in a better place than I have been. I didn't feel so alone for having seen him and his wife Judy. When I got home, I was in tears. It was crazy. I missed him so much. My Dad and I have fought off and on over the years and a lot of it had to do with my choice of majors in college and then my rebellious behavior (spending and overeating). We eventually made peace but there was always a nervous tension. When I bottomed out this past year, I wasn't talking to him at all...not out of anger but my own shame. Now that I am moving on from those things that caused such turmoil in our relationship, maybe I just felt such raw emotions of regret for the years wasted. I'm 41 and he's 70. I don't know how many years I'll have left with him. I'm glad things are changing. Gratitude: 1. I have my father back in my life and I won't wreck things over the same stupid addictions. 2. I will be back in 3 weeks to tag along with him and visit my uncle. 3. I have a good car that allows me to travel to see family.
  23. Yep, I could never game and read in balance. Gaming always swallowed reading. I'm glad to see you back journaling, riding!
  24. It could be withdrawal. I experienced irritability a lot when I got rid of gaming as well as frustration. I could get grumpy with my mom a lot too. Just hang in there you'll get through it.
  25. I get loneliness too...most of my bouts are temporary and if I can cry it out or push past it, it goes away. I try to keep in regular contact with friends and family, even just a text. That helps. Hang in there, onlysoul.
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