Mettermrck

Resuming reading after quitting gaming is tough. I was a.voracious bookworm when I was younger. But when I gamed, reading wasn't as fun but now that I've quit, I'm slowly reacquiring the habit.

Good to see you, Hassan. Hope you start journaling more!

Sounds like you're having a lot of healthy and productive fun, Chris. Keep it up!

Day 32/90. Yesterday was a much better day, emotionally. Thanks, Tom2. The anxiety just hit me that day but I'm happy that. i weathered the storm. I talked to my Mom and I've decided to get back on some medication. I used to take Wellbutrin and Zoloft when things were real bad last year. Of course, I wasn't watching my eating, exercising, and I was gaming up a storm and not working. So today my life is much improved but I'm still processing a lot of emotions from all the withdrawal and dealing with reality. I am only resuming the Wellbutrin and half of what I used to. I don't think I need a ton of pills again and I'm hoping this won't be permanent. But I've been diagnosed with.major depression many times in the last 20 years so a little medication might help stabilize the anxiety. I think it's a good thing for me. Other than that, work was fine. I hit the gym again and did the treadmill. Graduating to a 50 min walk tomorrow. I'm starting to like seeing myself in the mirror in the morning and seeing the dents and wrinkles where I'm slowly shrinking haha. And I actually slept on my bed! I got tired early and just went in and laid on the bed with my shorts on and no sheet or blanket. I figured I could always get back up later. I just zonked out and never really woke up again until this morning. I definitely needed it. I hope it's the start of a good pattern. Gratitude 1. I had a great night's sleep! 2. I am dog sitting again this weekend. 3. I'm still hitting the gym like a boss

Hey, Pierce! At least you're self-aware enough to know what "the edge" is and that you definitely don't want to go back. You can take heart in that. You've come a long way.

I think you're off to a good start. You have a large network of friends and family around you and you've been keeping yourself busy.

Good to have m an update from you, Moe! I'm glad to hear you're doing so well and are so busy. Keep it up!

Welcome, Jop! You're making a great decision!

Hi, TableTiger! I look forward to seeing where your journey takes you.

You're a bigger man than me for not counting days. I have to keep counting myself hehe.

You are a studying fiend!

Day 31/90. Ok, I've put 30 days officially behind me, one third of the way through! Thanks onlysoul. I'm staying well within my calorie limits, but yes healthy eating is another step for me. As for the 30th day, boy was it a rough one. The first incident was earlier in the day. I made the mistake of asking.my best friend if he had ever played Mass Effect. And that launched him into a deep conversation about the games he's played, a lot of them the same as me. Boy did that bring back the cravings and nostalgia! Luckily most of his attention was on Overwatch, a game that wasn't my style. Eventually he was apologetic for talking about it but I told him I was the one who had brought it up. Later he talked about some of the downsides of.gaming he's had with him and his wife. So the grass isn't always greener. The second thing was later on. My Mom's car had an issue and we had to fix it and then we're bringing it to the auto body this morning. I've seen this issue before and it's a cheap fix but the hint of car trouble brings my anxiety about money to the surface. Plus it was my wife who had called me about the problem and her Dad who helped us. So that sense of loneliness and isolation from her and her family was back. Even though they helped me, I felt isolated from them too, like I wasn't the family member I used to be. Needless to say, I was up late with my Mom, talking and tears. I didn't relapse and I tried to take pride in the changes I'm making. I'm just having to be patient that's all. I will have these days. I just need to push through them.

Glad you came back, KO!

You're doing great, Jess. You're very aware of where you still need to improve and work at it.

Yeah, I do that too, forcing myself to talk to family members and friends. Of course I generally text but I need to graduate to more calling to strengthen the connections. I actually set reminders to reach to particular people so that I don't slack.

Like Onlysou says, it's not just an endurance contest. You want to have a vision for yourself, as Cam says, where you want to go. Think about new habits and projects to help you move beyond gaming.

We all get those temptations to just moderate. But you thought about it calmly and realized it wouldn't stay moderate for long. That was a victory for today.

A good start and a well organized journal! I look forward to your journey.

Every great journey has a beginning and it sounds like you're off to a good start, Eric! Mass Effect 3 was the last game I ever played, 30 days ago actually haha. For me, reading gives me the adventure stories I used to seek in games. Look forward to reading your journey.

Anytime, onlysoul. You'll have opportunities to make friends as you work on your development. That's how I'm doing too, hoping to grow my social circle in the future.

Hi Eric welcome aboard! Yes I had times when I could handle gaming better but it always seemed to sap my drive a bit to where I never tried to improve myself. You're in a good place to work on this!

Day 30/90. Wow I'm coming up on the one third mark. I wondered if I'd ever get here. With the progress I've made so far, I wonder how I'll be in 30 or 60 more days. I was in a little funk yesterday, nothing earth shattering. I made the mistake of stepping on my gym scale and registering a slight gain. I tried my home scale last night and this morning and same thing. Now rationally, I know that's to be expected. I'm doing weights, I'm adding muscle, it'll happen sometimes, and it's about inches as much as pounds. But emotionally, it still troubled me. So I had to work through that. I'm still eating the same, just gotta keep pushing through it. My body has no choice. The math doesn't lie. It's not getting enough calories to maintain. It can kick and scream all it wants...it will have to give up the weight in the long run. I just have to be patient. I guess it's just hard when you feel deprived and tired a lot from less eating, and craving notice from those around you about your progress....that scale gets to be your idol, your source of well being. And I know I can't do that. Gratitude: 1. I had a good walk on the treadmill yesterday. 2. I know that the weight will come off. 3. I had another good night's sleep.

Good job resisting the craving, B! You're off to a good start.

Yes, sometimes you lose the "honeymoon period", that initial period of excitement, pride, novelty. But the good moods can come back. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a long grind but other times I'm impressed at how far I've come. Hang in there, Moe!

I'm fortunate in that I don't have gamer friends tempting me. You're strong for resisting that.