Mettermrck

You sound really focused, ajask, and you've kept yourself productively busy. That's awesome!

Awesome, what type of jet? That sounds like a blast. I've never been in a jet fighter...a helicopter, yes, but not a jet.

I'm with you, George. I just got back from the gym and I'm worn out, but in a good way. You're keeping active! ?

That makes sense about video game music. I notice that video game music, the really good ones, lead me AWAY from the game to a higher plane of sorts. Other video game music, of.course, can cause nostalgia and thus cravings.

You're doing great, Tom2, you just have to avoid the trap of perfectionism, trying to always get it all right, to condemn yourself if you're not quite as good as you wanted. I'm the same way. Even with all my weight progress, I still have the tendency to be hard on myself if I eat a little too much, etc. We have to be easy on ourselves! ?

Thanks, all, @Vlad and @Hitaru. @giblets, yes I will not meet at McDonalds next time. Restaurants are fine, but the fast food places just bring back bad memories. When I was in a bad way a year ago, I would camp out at fast food places, pass the time for an hour or two, and binge on soda and junk food. Some days I'd go to 3-4 different places to pass the time if my wife was home. If she wasn't, I'd get takeout and game binge at home. Sparkling water does the same thing. The fizz of twisting the cap off, the bubbles, the carbonation. Bad idea. Actually yes I have been enjoying large glasses of cold ice water. I guzzle it actually. And crystal light is my occasional exciting drink hehe. I just fell into old ways and have snapped out of it. Day 54/90. Somehow, despite my relapses, I still lost 2 more lbs...down to 296.2. I never slacked at the gym so that probably helped. I started reading Miracle Morning yesterday. Like Slight Edge, it is reinforcing things I'm already doing, and confirming my methods and also showing ways to add to it and enhance my routine. So, a new week, a new moment. Watched Cam's video yesterday on picking a word for 2017. I'm very late, but the word that popped into my head is Transformation. I just know I'm becoming a different person. I will not be the same man next year as I am now. Just have to be patient and work through the process. Was thinking about an old PC game yesterday, Talos Principle. It was a puzzle game that was also very philosophical. It was real intelligent and thought provoking. I ended up watching videos to recall the story. That was a dangerous thing to do but I don't regret it somehow. That's the kind of quality game that I never felt bad about. But I don't know if I'm ready for moderation, even at 90 days. I can't jeopardize my physical and financial recovery. Have to keep my distance for now. Gratitude 1. Lost 2 more lbs! 2. Reading a lot more lately! 3. I have free access to a gym

I do my journal early in the morning, part of a good.morning routine. At least you're posting!

I know what you mean about business course spending. I buy books sometimes, especially now that I'm not gaming. And they're healthy books - history, personal development, etc. But I have to watch my budget and not let it become a money sink like my games used to be.

You have great self-awareness, Tux. Yes, I sometimes rationalize games in my head as just a little bit of relaxation after a nice productive day. But it wouldn't end there. The little bit of relaxation would slowly expand and take over everything, including my productivity! ?

Now what is your charisma stat? Does that reflect your socialization? I notice it's a D and was curious about it.

I know how that is, loneliness. I used gaming to hide it and now I have to deal with the loneliness. I think it's just a temporary bout for you as you have friends and family around you.

You avoided gaming so the day wasn't a waste. Think about some alternative activities you'd like to during that time. Hang in there!

It could be a risk, a gateway drug that might lead to more games. My mother and brother play a scrabble-like game online and I'd like to join in...but not before my 90 days is up and even I'm not sure for afterwards.

Hi, Steve, glad to see you back. Don't give up! Sometimes it can take many tries before it comes together.

I hope your loan works out. Stay strong!

Wow I am impressed with your running! I am musing about shifting from walking to running when I get more weight off...there seem to be so many milestones to go after...5k, 10k, half marathon, marathon.

Gardening sounds like a good hobby. I have an old friend I recently got back into touch with who gardens. I've thought about getting into a physical hobby....maybe not gardening but cooking perhaps.

Thanks, @Vlad! Don't worry, I'm slow and steady at the gym. I let my muscles tell me where they're at and slowly challenge myself. I can tell I'll be on 20 lbs dumbbells for a while haha. Hey @Cam Adair! I appreciate it very much. And thanks for the "special thanks" on the forums. ? Honestly, it's part of my recovery. I know from experience how excited I get when someone posts even a short note on my journal. It makes me feel less isolated, like people are listening. So I try to give that to others. And if I invest in supporting them, they're more likely to support me. And social is my weak spot, that's for sure. Day 53/90. I've been battling soda and porn relapses all week long. I still go to the gym and avoid gaming, but I'm still battling to break free of the other stuff. I have learned valuable lessons, however, on how I cannot give an inch in these areas. Anything from drinking a sparkling water, meeting someone at a McDonald's, or looking too long at a risque image and fapping, just sets me on a path to relapse. Having improved so much these last two months, I can see the negative differences in how I feel when I do these things. The anxiety, the spending, the frustration. I know better. I won't even try, I will!, stop and get back on track. Thanks, @giblets, for talking about being honest in your journal in that last podcast episode. It's so tempting to just try to gloss over your struggles, hide them, and pretend nothing's wrong. Then you try to work it out on your own, which rarely works. No, I feel better admitting my battles. It wasn't all gloom and doom yesterday haha. I've communicated more with my brothers lately which is an awesome thing. I hardly talked with them at all these past few years. And they both work out so I'm able to talk about gym advice now that I'm doing it too. So the journey continues and I keep learning! Gratitude 1. Brothers and family 2. Gym. I'm probably way less anxious as a result. 3. This forum, for a place to journal and open up

Good intention! I remember one of Cam's guests in a video talking about making it a "new moment". The past is the past. Just keep moving!

Glad you felt better, KO. Hopefully the severe weather will clear up. Where in the US are you? It's just muggy and rainy here in South Carolina. ?

What's DoorDashing? Like door to door sales? Make sure you schedule some rest for yourself each day, even if it's a 5 minute meditation. If I forget my meditation, I pay for it hehe.

I'm sure that was a tough call, Oct. Yes, when I get anxiety about a decision or a path, I call it "turbulence". That's how I know something is probably not a good idea.

Sounds like you're doing ok, George. I feel good after a nice haircut, too, though in my case it's more of a buzzcut. Miracle Morning is on my to read list too!

I need dating as a distraction I think haha. Sometimes I get cocky about how I'm doing and I let go of the steps I had taken to get there. I let my guard down, so to speak. So you just need to go back and reorganize. You're getting there!

You'll get there Tux. I can tell you have the desire. Just hang in there! ?