Mettermrck

@giblets Haha I should play that at the gym. More energy! Thanks, @Hitaru and @Tom2, your support means a lot to me! Day 59/90. I'm still on track with gaming and going to the gym. Today is payday so I plan to buy a couple pairs of smaller pants. That's a good feeling. I'm still battling relapses with soda and porn which are causing frustration. I am winning this battle however. I will not sink back the waves. I will continue to rise! Btw, @Cam Adair that intervention video was hilarious. I loved every wink of it! ? Gratitude 1. A good job with benefits 2. Friends who think of me. 3. My glorious gym, a life saver.

You have a great journal. I know it's hard to journal when you have less good news. But that's the best time....where else but on a whole forum of people with the same struggles?

What are your new ideas?

It's okay to have nostalgia as long as you don't feed it by reinstalling the game or watching a stream. Acknowledge the feeling and appreciate it but then move on.

From a health standpoint, you're doing great with your diet and exercise. I think if you turn that focus towards detoxing from gaming, you'll do very well indeed.

I think you have a good plan, dirk. Good job! ?

Hang in there, destoroyah!

You've made it halfway! ? Well done, Tom2.

That sounds familiar. Studying history and German are interests I had prior to gaming as well. We're just making room for them!

Hopefullly that job will come through. If not, you know the kind of job you want to apply for. That's the start of a good plan! ?

Thanks for the video, gib! The best thing about exercise is it gives us the chance to burn our fears and anxiety into the ground!

Day 58/90. I'm feeling better. Rather than start over at the beginning of a new day like I always do (I'll start tomorrow), I reset my routine and habits when I got home from work. So I have momentum and renewed confidence about staying away from the soda/fast food and pmo. This is silly, I know, but I'm starting to pose a little in the mirror, noticing muscles come into prominence that I've either not seen for decades, or never seen at all really. I don't want to be vain, but it just feels so good to like looking at yourself in the mirror. It validates the sacrifices I've been making, gives me an emotional boost to keep going, and is like a small preview of coming attractions hehe. Though I won't make the final call until 90 days, I'm leaning towards keeping my detox going for a full year. Yes, I still miss gaming, but I can't deny that when I quit (along with my other addictions), my life is really starting to turn around. I don't want to lose that. I'll see where I'm at in a year and possibly perm-quit (delete steam acct, etc.). Gratitude 1. I talked to a complete stranger in the locker room at the gym and he was nice. 2. I still have my bodily health 3. I have a supportive mother to talk to every day

I've been there, even worse than that guy in the picture. I still resemble him in many ways. You do need to confront yourself in the mirror, if only to tell yourself that you won't be overweight forever. I use positive affirmations. It's hard at first but I do notice a little more confidence after a couple weeks. Hang in there!

You're going to a ball? With waltzes and tuxedos? What's the occasion? That's cool!

It's never too late! Gaming can pass time so quickly. If you can detox from them, you'll be free to create great memories.

A book Cam recommended. It talks about the value of getting up early and starting your day with some key steps to set the tone for your day - exercise, meditation, affirmations, etc. Some of it I'd been starting to do already, but some of it was helpful and I'm trying to incorporate it into my routine. It's worth a look and dovetails nicely with Th Slight Edge.

Just work through the 90 days and then decide. You're going to do great!

You got a new phone. That makes everyday better than ok! ?

I'm glad you're back, Ashley. You're fighting hard just by being here. The relapses are tough but they happen....I've had several. I think you'll get to a point where you just want things to be different so badly, you'll overcome the obstacles and quit. I still battle bouts of intense anxiety and loneliness two months into my detox. It's not easy, I just have that deep conviction that it's going to be worth it on the other side no matter how much it hurts now. I'm rooting for you!

Don't beat yourself up. Old cars are always full of financial and mechanical surprises. I drive one myself. ? Good job decluttering! I hate unnecessary stuff too.

I bought steam games always on sale and ended up with piles of games I never played. That's great that you have a love for teaching! Almost any job out there has opportunities for teaching, not just the classroom. You can be a trainer anywhere.

My very first college major was nuclear engineering. Enjoyed the subject but couldn't handle the advanced math. ? Does one of those fields really grab you and ignite your passion? You can always change but for now just think about what aspects of science and technology draws you in the most.

Just keep posting on your journal every day, even if you relapse. The very act of posting is a signal of your intention to change yourself. And it's a victory of sorts!

I don't think you're nuts. I think you feel special and that you have a lot of innate talent that can be put to amazing use. But, as a result of negativity from addictive behaviors, your self-lnowledge of your potential has become corrupted (in a way) to make you think that that potential is some kind of evil thing. I think when you succeed in overcoming your addictions, that self-awareness and sense of expectation will be "purified". I feel the same sense that I'm destined for something great. That's not ego or cockiness. I just know that I have great gifts and talents and when I unlock them by casting off the shackles of gaming (and soda and pmo and this extra weight), I am destined for greatness. Hope that helps.

Day 57/90. I'm a little frustrated with myself about the soda and porn relapses. Gaming is fine and I'm confident I'll make it and don't want to go back. Thank goodness I'm a PC gamer and not mobile. But the relapses for soda and porn are frankly....pissing me off! ? I KNOW better. I objectively, rationally, know, from experience (and not theorizing) that my life without this stuff is better. It is! So why do I fool around and flirt with the edge! I am NOT going back to the way I was. I need to harness this anger into a positive energy and recommit myself to never ever go back again to that dark hole of a place. Mediocrity is not good enough. Gratitude 1. An old friend can help my Mom get a plane ticket to see my older brother in Seattle 2. Miracle Morning gets me pumped up! 3. I can work my anxiety into the ground at the gym