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thehondasc00py

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  1. @Cam Adair (I can't get the tag function to work? Quoting instead) Thanks Cam. It's great that for every topic one could think of, you have video material on it. Your case with the FOMO was inspiring. Something to think about. Cheers.
  2. Continuing from an older post. Fell back and got distracted the last couple of days, felt like I had to start fresh with a new, more precise title to focus on what I really want to achieve here. Day 9 What I'm grateful for today: comfortable homegetting into that cold showerhaving supermarkets filled with delicious food availableThe last few days I really felt a backlash and loss of focus. Consequence? Netflix binge. Reality check, this won't be quite as easy as I at first thought. Really tired, fatigued and irritable too. Had one or two angry mornings. My parents want me to see a doctor about that. I agree. This morning though, I feel great. In any case, I've managed to maintain my routine. Wake up, visualize, gratitude, 12min meditation, 15min run, cold shower. One issue though. I dreamt about World of Warcraft, and in the first moments after waking up I considered playing until I woke up fully and snapped out of it. What does this mean for the detox, though? New patch is out right now and I was extremely looking forward to playing it, and the new raid, before starting this detox. Ok, I think I can forego the patch. But when the next expansion releases? I don't think so, and I don't want to. Anyway, cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I recommit to doing this 90 Day Detox. This, I must manage. Visiting an old friend now, then picking up some furniture for the apartment. Peace out.
  3. Day 7 Daily gratitude for: living in a 1st world country with priviledges and opportunitieshaving a fit, healthy bodyOk, the 1 week mark saw a major dip in overall focus. I let myself go, watched a lot of netflix and binged on chocolate. I've come to expect pitfalls like these over my years in self-development, and I expect to majorly turn things around again tomorrow. If I cannot control my urges for distraction, I will have to officially commit to a Netflix detox and NoSugar as well. Keeping those options open allows me to fall down. So fuck it, I'll go for it. 100 or nothing, baby. Premortem this shit: Let it be known on this day that I choose to return to a strict ketogenic diet and incur an ironbound NetflixQuitters 90 Day Netflix Detox. Reasons being as follow: complete abstinence from artificial overstimulation of the brainremove the option of running away from my problems once and for all, remove the easy way outdetox the brain from sugar, fuel it with moderate, natural foodsintroduce hardship into my life (life's not always gonna be comfortable and easy, get used to it)face problems, face suffering, face cravings, face fatigue, face boredom. no running.Upon noticing cravings or doubts, I shall return to this journal and gather my wits, remember my reasons. A game or show flashes into my mind? It's a temporary mental image arisen out of nothing, keep calm, fire up the GameQuitters podcast. Unfocused, tired or unmotivated? Crash onto the couch and read or listen to podcast. Relax, done. Ok, all set? 3,2,1, go.
  4. Dope topic! I'm in So easy it traps bound soul, ephemeral lie hardship sets free joy gives way to hate pleasure says bye, anger waves may love my void sate
  5. My philosophy is that life gives you a set of custom-tailored challenges for you to grow the way you need to grow. Everyone has their own problems. If for you that problem is a gaming addiction, that's the challenge you need to face for your own best growth.
  6. Day 6 What I'm grateful for today: my supportive parentsthe two pieces of art i acquired from ebay yesterdayhaving an internet full of resources at my disposalStill going strong. I went for two runs, sat in reflection for some time, did some reading, met an old acquaintance, planned to go swimming but pool was closed unfortunately, cooked some A1 curry (although I did feel a tad bloated - considering going back to carb-free keto but I'm really enjoying fruit at the moment and don't feel like eating meat). I started to get ahead of myself and started reading this free spiritual development course, but realized I need to keep it SIMPLE and really focus on a small number of things - game detox, meditation, running, studying,meeting new people. For now, that is IT. No need to add in anything else and overcomplicate things. It feels really right.
  7. This might also sound cliche but try not to resist or fight the suffering, but embrace it. What you resist, persists, and makes it so much worse. Acceptance is everything, try to open up to life and the shit you're going through, locate the physical sensations in your body, and really feel into them, feel their energy, integrate it. You can do this.
  8. Don't worry about it. How we get distracted is quite a marvel of nature, and its what would have kept you alive in paleolithic days. Appreciate distraction's power and really aim to become more and more mindful of every time it rears its head.
  9. Day 5 AWWWWW YISSSSS I'M BACK BOIIIIIIS Yesterday, in the hours following my Day 4 entry, I felt ecstatic. I'm not sure what exactly happened. I cycled to the stationry shop to buy some organisational stuff for this new awesome new thing I'm starting (more on that later). As I cycled back, the sun came out. It had been raining and the blue sky reflected from the glistening streets. It was so beautiful. I decided to take a long detour, cycling felt so good. Cruising the wet streets in that damp, fragrant post-rain air, it hit me. Real life is incredibly amazing. I think I felt better than I had ever felt in my life. Sure, Warcraft had given me some cool moments, League had given me some cool moments, but nothing comparable to that. I felt like someone had spiked my coffee with adderal and half a pill of mdma. Would it last forever? No, and I knew slumps and pitfalls would come, but I also knew with complete confidence that I could and would be retuning to that state, with increasing frequency along my journey. I eventually arrived home, put my bike away and went straight for a 15 minute run just for good measure, followed by a nice cold shower. And for the rest of the day, I wasn't even hungry or craving any food like I normally would, whatsoever. I realized cravings simply arise out of suffering. Perhaps boredom, perhaps subconscious issues, or guilt. Free from suffering, those cravings simply dissapitate. That was yesterday. Today, I'm still going strong. I'm super psyched and motivated. I'm confident that I'm fully back on the path. Depression gone, dropped the prozac, I feel great. Here's the awesome thing I mentioned. I discovered this browsing reddit. You choose one or multiple habits you want to implement. Then you buy paper cards, a board, and a fat red marker. Draw up a 7x7 (7 weeks; 49 days) grid onto the page. Write the habit onto the page, and why you want to do it. Now, for every day you sucessfully kept up with the habit, you draw a fat red cross in a box. After 49 days or 49 crosses, you have officially implemented that fucking habit. Here's mine so far: Complementary subreddit (is linking allowed? will delete otherwise): https://www.reddit.com/r/theXeffect/ It's beautifully simple, and I feel really psyched about it. @Cam Yup, am now+Paleo diet. Its all good! Thanks
  10. Day 4 Ok, so day 2 was spent entirely on Netflix (oops), day 3 was spent half on Netflix, now on day 4 and have not been on Netflix yet. That's an improvement. Netflix is another distraction from turning inward and facing my issues, and a distraction from the suffering of boredom. At the moment I'm fine with a bit of time on Netflix though. I believe I have a case of atypical depression. ""Atypical" symptoms are said to include "depression that includes the ability to temporarily be cheered by happy events, increased appetite, apathy instead of sadness, lack of motivation". It really kicked off last week where I felt like absolute shit. Now I feel pretty good mood-wise. I'm happy, infact last night I felt pretty great, but for months now I've been in this extreme rut. I can't motivate myself to get back to seriously working on myself. My earlier motivation - increasing confidence - is gone. I don't feel like being productive. I really should rebuild a routine but I just don't want to, I don't feel any real need anymore. I get small bursts of inspiration, like I watch a video about meditation, or I listen to an amazing piece of music and think "yes, I WANT TO DO THAT", but then I just smack into this invisible Resistance Wall, just smack headfirst, bam. I must have this serious subconscious block. Or a problem with my current brain chemistry. My Mum put me on Prozac. She takes it herself for her own depression, I told her I would try it. I'm having second thoughts though. I just don't think I need antidepressants. Mood-wise I'm fine, I just lack drive. And I read about decreased libido and sexual dysfunction as side effects. I might want to try and find a therapist too. Finding good ones are hard though. Or maybe I'll just wait this out, moving into a new appartment and starting a new life is bound to shake things up. I'll take baby steps for now. I'll aim for going for a jog today, and sitting down and investigating what this inner resistance could be. Edit: I'm also looking for an accountability partner
  11. Cut out the ice cream m8. Ice cream used to be one of my favorite things in the world, but I cut it 6 months ago. So glad I did. Dairy and refined sugar suck, put together they double suck. Check out the Ketogenic Diet, it allows me to eat 100% clean with 0 food cravings, and high focus. Cleared up my skin too.
  12. Day 1, I've been playing League intensively the past 2-3 weeks, I got an urge to pick it up and just went with it. I used to mess around in it with friends but never played too seriously, 3 weeks ago I decided to seriously improve at the game and climb the ranked ladder, just for those few last weeks before starting Uni. I did, but my routine has gradually deteriorated, Uni is around the corner, it's time to let it go now. Decided to quit last night, googled up some other game and LoL quitting stories this morning to back me up, found this site, deleted LoL and here I am. Didnt feel motivated to do anything today, watched netflix and lay around, but eventually broke limbo with a shower, cooked a healthy meal, will read a bit now.
  13. Yooooo My name's Simon, and I'm 19 years old. Gaming really took off for me with WoW, I must have been around 12 or so, Wotlk days, also owned a PS3, dabbled in LoL - my most recent and the game I deleted this morning - , some other stuff. WoW has always been the big one, I played on and off, pick it up for a month of three, get burnt out and drop it for a while but always come back. And it was cool, I don't regret the time I spent on it, or on other "world-games" I'm very passionate about like Skyrim, I have fantastic and nostalgic memories, and it put me on my current path which I'm fundamentally grateful for. Anyway, I don't doubt I will pick it, and other games, up again someday in the future, when the next expansion comes out or whatever but I do plan to quit for the next 3 months because I will be starting Uni! And I want to focus completely on that, and on finding and building relationships with the people I meet there. As well as develop myself further, meditate, perhaps pick up some music production which I've dabbled in before. This is what my journal will be about. I don't think I will make it daily, maybe twice or thrice a week or something. See how it goes. Cool, hope it works out and I stay clean for atleast 90 days. Here we go Edit: Just glanced over some other journals and was inspired to write a bit more about myself. So far, my life has looked something like this: -happy childhood, inquisitve and energetic boy, fascinated by nature. i collected caterpillars, crystals, and made my dad read me books about dinosaurs, for example-entered my first school, an international one. the group of friends i found myself in had already known eachother since preschool. additionally, i lived a lot further away outside the city than them. this meant i was a bit of an outsider, and making meetup plans was tedious-i know from reading ancient email conversations between me and my classmates that i was super outgoing, confident, audacious, give-no-fucks-attitude in my early years.-this changed dramatically in 6th´-7th grade when one boy in my social circle, well, one of my friends actually, turned on me and a downspiral of bullying, depression and insecurity began lasting a year or two until my parents pulled me out. i can only assume that this is where compulsive gaming really started-i show up at my new german school an insecure, fearful loner, 8th grade-nothing of interest happens until grade 10, but i was pretty shitty to my parents, and, well, gaming addiction-grade 10 and everything changes, everyone chooses their new subjects which means classes break up, intermingle and reform, i meet new people, actually start interacting, this new player called Alcohol enters the game, parties begin, i start to break back out of my shell, make new friends, begin to rebuild my confidence-grade 12, ive discovered self help and self improvement, ive made good progress, but i feel fake. i have friends and go out drinking to parties and clubs, but its fake. deep down, im still insecure, my nerves shook everytime before going out, my whole purpose in life was to become more confident, to get laid, whatever, eg i meditated, i found out about buddhist spiritual enlightenment and thought that was my goal, but in truth it was a pretext or facade for becoming more and more confident (its never enough), i still had low self esteem. gaming on and off here, cant really remember what i was playing but it wasnt the focus of my life in any case.-the trash dump that is the educational system finally ends, having completely beaten all my inner childs fascination and curiosity out of me and left me a socially conditioned boy, but ive been working on myself, becoming more aware. on my gap year i make great progress, i solo travel asia for some months which was pretty transforming. the book "Pursuing consciousness - the book of transformation and enlightenment" by Peter Ralston was pretty instrumental too, it helped me so much. I feel on top of the fucking world.-I return from travelling, and sadly, fall back into gaming and unhealthy habits. uni is still like half a year away and i slip into a void of recession. i try to return to the path here and there, but im no longer driven. the need that drove me before - becoming more confident - was gone, and i had not found anything to replace it. warcraft and nihilism!-I do achieve one thing, which is seriously clean up my diet. its called the KETOGENIC DIET and if you have trouble eating cleanly, and find yourself craving snacks or sweets, or feel bloated and fatigued, this diet is for you. its EXTREMELY empowering.-boom, present day, uni is almost here. FRESH START, this where life really starts. School was a bag of accidents, chance, and unconscious happenings outside of my awareness or control. Now I want to take my life into my hands, consciously seek out friends with shared interests, grow myself as a human being, make an impact on the world, find out what's out there.That's my STORY. And it is just a story. The past doesn't actually exist, its merely a narrative that lives below the surface of my consciousness, yet defines completely this "I" living in "my" head, the "person" looking back from the mirror. I aim to become consciouss of who or what that really is, and to build a rich and fulfilling life. K, that was an exhausting wall of text but I felt like I wanted it compiled here. without further ado...
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