Damiano

Welcome. My account was also worth over 2000 and was with me for over 10 years of fun. Had to removed it, it was almost too difficult to delete it. The loss I felt was incredible. But I did it, and I don't regret it one bit. I am moving on, leaving games behind never to come back. Not even for cyberpunk 2077 or Bannerlord, which are the ones I was wanting the most. I still want to play them, but I wont. That part of my life is over, and that's about it. Make it hard for you to play. Remove games from your reality. Then you wont have to resist as hard. You wont need so much will power. Good luck

Day 13. Amazing how well the removal of gaming material works. I do find myself thinking of games, but its less and less important in my mind. No games today.

Welcome! Important first step. Remember to make it difficult to play games, make it as hard as possible for your future self to play games. Because your future self will want to play at some point, and if he finds it too troublesome, then there is high chance he will no go through with the gaming idea. This is the greatest method I have found. Good luck!

It is the hardest thing in life for me. The source of the greatest fears and anxieties. The source of my greatest failures, and most hurtful moments. I went skydiving, and it was nothing in comparison of going to a social event, or worse, having to talk to someone. In my mind, it is in social situation that the greatest harm can happen to me, because that has been the case all my life. Wounds that are so deep that still bleed after decades. I have been to therapy and it helped a lot. It helped me heal, but the fear is still there. And the behaviors get triggered whenever I find myself talking with someone. Every day is a challenge for me, to fight my fear, every single day. And some say Im a pussy. I don't think they know what real fear is, when your body enters panic mode, and you sweat and shake, and cant control your voice, or the flow of ideas into your mind. But you stay, and you do what you are there to do, because you said you would. And many times I fuck up, because I cant control myself, byt I keep on fucking going despite all that it costs me. Its not always this extreme, but it can become like this any moment. All it takes, is that some stranger talks to me. I don't know of a way to break this fear, even in safe spaces when I know everyone is kind, and understanding, I still am afraid to open up, and say something I don't really want to say, or Im not even thinking. Some times I do speak but say something so unbelievably stupid, that it makes people uncomfortable, and it makes me want stick a knife in my throat and just have it end. I fear that the next social encounter can be the last stroll, the drop that spills the glass. One moment that would break me forever, and that, scares me the most.

Day 12. Today I feel much better. Started listening to the book Atomic Habits, and oh my god, why the fuck is't this a mandatory class in school. Anyways, I haven't put much thought in games lately, its like the fact of removing everything related to games, kind of erased the thoughts of them. Some times I get a glimpse of some article, or an ad about a game I was waiting for, but I just close it, or ignore it. I am starting to feel much better. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn how to be a more competent person. No games Today.

Day 11. Last night was bad, but today I feel a little better. We will se what the day brings. Its amazing ho well the deletion of all gaming accounts works, It actually make the idea of gaming complicated enough as to be harder to come up with the idea of actually doing it. No games today.

Day 10..night I feel terrible. I just want to feel better, Im looking for ways to feel better. Just watched a movie, it helped, but it ended, and Im still here feeling like shit. I cant see a good future that I would want that does not involve video games. Im just looking for things that I would want, and I cant find any. Today I didn't even wanted to get out of work. There was nothing to get back to, nothing I wanted to do. At least in work I have a target, a purpose. I know this is the reason I quit games, because I felt like this even with games. The games numbed me at least for a while. Right now I have nothing, and because I deleted everything I have no where to go back to. Its a good thing, im going to bed after writing this, I couldn't bare more hours of this existential pain. The weird thing is, I haven't told my girlfriend I feel like this. I think she noticed something is off. I just feel I deserve this, like is my pain to bear, and she has no right to step into this space of mine. I should talk about this with her. Maybe not, i don't want to poison her with this. I can take it, like I always have. Drown it deep, deep, deep down. I don't know.

It might be difficult to concentrate. Your mind will be wondering, from place to place, making you overall uncomfortable, and when the idea of playing games comes to mind, your body signals you with that itchy feeling that it will feel much better if we play a little, just one hour to get my mind in order., Just one quick fix, to calm down. lol, I hate those traps. ? Last week I removed my steam account from over 10 years. I feel panicky and agitated, thin and vulnerable. Like if I had no home to go to, no place to rest. Its terrible. It must be worth it, all this sacrifice.

Day 10 I get angry and frustrated when people tell me I fucked up, or that i did something stupid, like If i didn't know it, but I did it on my own fucking terms. It doesn't concern them, its my thing, and I have every right to fuck it up, and I take responsibility for it. But for some reason people like to point this things out, and say that if I would have just listened to them it wouldn't have happened. I didn't listen, because its MY own god damn thing, I want to be the one making mistakes, and I want to be the one learning and doing things right by myself. Somehow people don't understand this. There is no merit in succeeding at something after doing what others told you to do. Its like, its their win, and you were just the puppet. That is how I feel. This frustration triggers my gaming cravings, I just want to silence my mind, and for it to blow away. No games today.

Welcome man. If you are serious about changing your life sell everything related to games. Put them in the past for good. Good luck.

Day 9 I have cravings, Its hard to see a life in which I would feel better and more excited than a life with games as the main source of fun and meaning. I wont give in, its just hard to concentrate today. @ElectroNugget @BigOlBeartic I was referring to the feelings of "negativity and nihilism" and not real people, but I see how you could have thought that. Still your points are valid. No games today.

I very much disagree with this. Judging oneself as a looser, and other people at the same time is not healthy. Saying such things makes your former self look like a looser, and thus damaging your own self esteem, and making any relapse even worse. I would say to recognize games as part of your past. You said yourself, you had fun, they were your safe place. Honor that, but don't focus on it, focus on improving yourself. Classify video games as a thing of the past, a fond memory. Nothing more. And don't be too hard on yourself if you play a game again, its not such a big deal, but get back on track. Don't stay down, get back up, and up. You only lose, if you give up.

Hell yeah man!! You can do it!! This is an amazing statement. So true, and terrifying. There is no easy way out, we all have to break away from this addiction, one day at a time. This is the right place to get help. Set up a Journal, and inspire yourself every single day with Cam's videos or other sources of self improvement and motivation. Never stop improving. Good luck.

Day 8. Some of my old pals came by yesterday, negativity and nihilism. Those bastards. Making me want to resign this great endeavor because, according to them, I will fail anyway, sooner or later. Fuck them, they will be gone soon enough, and I will be on my way to a great future, one I am yet unable to imagine. I am grateful for my love of nature, and for the opportunities I some times have to work the land with my hands. No games today.

@JPAO Exactly! If you find yourself focusing on the "game" during the week, and cant wait to play again, then you might have a problem there. But if its just an activity you do with friends, then I see no harm in it. The same thing can be told of "social drinkers", when the fact of drinking/playing has priority over friends.

Welcome man, this is the right place to get rid of this gaming vice. Good luck.

Day 7. Today I feel strange, like if the reality of my decision has just hit me. Like if the gaming life was just sealed behind me, and there is no turning back. I feel somehow "thin". I know its just a feeling, and it will pass. I am really grateful for having this opportunity to embark into this next chapter. @Octsober Thanks man. The hardest thing isn't removing the games I had, but resigning from the games I was waiting for. I think that this will be a bigger challenge. Maybe when They actually come out I will be more isolated from the gaming world to not care so much, but right now,... right now It would be horrible. The thing is I still want to play them, I have to recognize this. I really do want to play them. But I want to be free of them even more. When I imagine a good future I can only see myself sitting in front of my computer gaming away in the middle of the nigh. That has been my dream future, If you know what I mean. To live a life that allows me to enjoy my games in peace. But fuck!!! The games are simply not enough to give me real satisfaction, its like they are fun and all, but they are not enough to justify all the real effort I put in life in order to enjoy them in peace. Am I saying this right? And whenever I want to move forward in life, its the damn games that keep me glued to my monitor, clicking my mouse for the sole purpose of fun, and pleasure. Instead of working towards whatever it is I want at that time. No games today.

Hi man. I believe that what you refer too can be called "mind masturbation" when we do something that makes us feel good, and we do it again an again, without any real meaning or positive consequence to us. I also have read some stuff in the self help department, but my path began from inside, I wanted to answer the question of what I am, What is this entity that I call me. So that path took me deep inside, and then through some deep dark shit where I got an answer to my question, but I got lost along the way. And ended up looking for help outside, from guys like Tony Robins and others. But as you say I never found their teachings very influential on my life, but I did learn. I don't think any form of learning is wrong, but I think that learning only one thing can be limiting. I would recommend learning something else entirely. As for meditation, I have never found it useful. I understand the concept, but never felt any positive impact on my life. Maybe my mind was not ready for that exercise, maybe some day I will be ready and it will be amazing. Time will tell.

Hi Bill. Welcome! We are all here to get better. Good luck!

Day 6. @AssellusPrimus Thanks man. Its very hard to do this. When I quit gaming 6 days ago, I actually didn't plan on deleting everything, the mare thought made me panic. I was still "hoping" that some day I would come back to it, like if it were something good. Its so damn seductive and meaningless. It must go for good. Today I am confirming all the response mails I got from support about deleting my accounts. Somehow its easier than it was yesterday. I am starting to feel the empty space, and I am hearing its demand to be filled. Must keep myself busy. I am focusing on working out, and studying the stock market. Also I am watching a lot of videos of with Jordan Peterson, about meaning and how to put myself in order to become a force for good. I wish I had heard this kind of lectures when I was 20. No games today.

I did it. Sent requests to delete my over 10 year steam account. Also my GOG account and humble bundle. This is my sacrifice, a confirmation of my resolve. Some day, games will only be a distant memory, and not a life.

Day 6. Today its hard. Saturday at home is the hardest one. There is one thing in my mind that bothers me. The feeling of loss. When I think "I will never play a video game again" It triggers a very strong feeling of loss, and the need to avoid it. Also my mind has set itself up so that gaming is somehow a "backup" life. Something I will be able to go back to if I ever "need" to. This actually make me very fear full, and prevents me from "really letting go" of the games, In a way to delete my steam account forever. It makes me feel like I will be loosing my ground, my pillow, into which to fall. Another thing is to "let go" of the hope and expectation of games I wanted to play. Its so hard to let them "die", like if they actually matter in any way. Its such a trap for the mind. Some of us cant quit just like that. Games really are part of our lives, they are experiences that had meaning to us, many times on a personal level. And that is why its of the outmost importance we quit for good. They are important to us, but have ZERO positive impact on anything. We have to make this sacrifice, for our sake, and the sake of the world. Only when we give this act such a powerful meaning, we will be able to truly step outside the game. ...I want to say so much more, but that will have to do for today. No games today.

Day 5. It turns out my car isn't in such a bad shape, which make me very relieved. No games today.

Its evening day 4. Im very tired, sitting in front of the monitor. This was my game time usually, so instead of playing, I come here. I will put on some music, and workout for a bit. Have to keep myself busy, and if I cant do it mentally, it has to be physically.

I stopped playing games for almost 1 year, and it changed my life from a sad suicidal 30yo virgin to living with a girl in our apartment 2 years later. After that I allowed myself to relax and enjoy my life and went straight back into gaming. Right now Im fighting my way out again, this time for life. Its not easy, my mind tells me I will miss a lot, with all the new games coming out, and those that I was waiting for. But fuck that. There are far more meaningful things out there in the real world than there are in the virtual one. It makes me sad that I am unable to play in moderation, and still advance in other things in my life. Videogames is a sacrifice I am making, to not feel good now, but feel much better in some years. I might come back to games when I am old and retired, but right now I will not spend one more minute doing it. Enough is enough.