NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
seriousjay
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Posts posted by seriousjay
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Hey qmi, it definitely sounds like you're on the right track! If you ever need any extra support, feel free to ask anyone here, we've got your back! I think it would also be great if you started a journal here, if you didn't already. I've found that posting my progress really helps lift me up if I'm feeling a little down.
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Hey there B1ggl3fty! Welcome to the community.
Everyone else has shared most of what I would have already, and it's great advice! One thing that I think might help you is to get up each morning and watch some motivational videos every single day. Make it a habit. I understand you want to spend time away from the screen, but if you're going to be doing it anyways, you might as well make it productive! Watching motivational videos can give you that extra boost to help get you going on whatever it is you want to accomplish, and over time, if you stay consistent, being motivated simply becomes a part of you.
Check here for some really good ones I found: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/303-find-it-hard-to-get-motivated-every-day/
Most importantly, if this is something you really want for yourself, never give up on it! You might get knocked down a couple times, but as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward, success is inevitable.
The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! - Rocky Balboa
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Happy to help!
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I challenge you to watch these videos and find a way to not get pumped up to do whatever it is you want to do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26U_seo0a1g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFGWnqNf6t0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgmVOuLgFB0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPQ1budJRIQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QKq1iXfBBg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXAcsxn0pQM -
Attempt II Day 2
Today I got much more study done, and saw one of my teachers to help me with some things.
I had a short run this morning (15 mins or so) even though I don't normally do running on days I need to get up at 6. If I keep this up every day I will be running every morning!
I didn't do anything productive on the bus, I will make sure to study on the bus tomorrow, and listen to music at the same time to make a compromise (I would normally just read or listen to music).
Thank you again Jay, the questions you posed really helped me to think about what I wanted to get out of quitting games. I realised that I want to be a more social, motivational person who is not afraid to try new things and takes steps towards their dreams. I have an inkling of other ideas in regards to my dreams and what I want to do in the long run, but that generic model should be enough to get me going for now.
Thank you very much Elegwa, those were some great ideas to view each day more positively without games. The grinding idea I found really relevant, the only difference I will need to be aware of is that I won't be able to see the rewards I shall reap when 'grinding' in real life. I gamed on both a pc and console; I have already 'deleted' my steam account so I'm off pc games, but my twin brother and I share an XBOX 360 which he uses frequently so unfortunately I can't sell those, even if I'd like to. He wants to be a game developer so trying to convince him to change his mind about gaming is fruitless, even if he spends countless hours playing. I have felt regrets in getting rid of my steam account, but I know I can become a better person without gaming. Thank you again for the advice!
Targets for tomorrow:
- Do at least 7x 50 min chunks of study and study related activities while out studying and 1x 50 min at home
- Run a longer distance in the same amount of time in the morning (I will set the time to use to 20 minutes)
- Make another diary entry
- Do something fun at home!
I am grateful for the consistent flow of feedback and support from the community
I am grateful for my dad helping me realise that gaming actually does harm me by reducing my ability to cope with real life situations and reducing social capability
I am grateful for having water to drink whenever I need it.
My pleasure Alex! It doesn't work for everybody but I personally tend to get motivated when someone presents a challenge to me about my goals from time to time.
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OK so I didn't have time to post yesterday but I really had a blast! I went to work in the morning and was pretty excited about being able to leave at 1:00 PM! That gave me enough time to go on the hike that I wanted to go on. We left Hamilton around 2:45 PM for Elora, hiked for about 2.5-3 hours, had a nice dinner and got back around 9:45 PM. During the hike and drive there and back I got to know a couple of pretty cool people as well. The guy, Joaquin, largely drove the conversations but I learned quite a lot from him. He has numerous degrees and certifications, and shares a lot of values with me. I think I could learn a great deal by talking to him a lot!
Today wasn't as great. It felt like a bit of a slog. Not that I wasn't motivated to do the things I got done, I just didn't feel as energetic. It might have been exhaustion from the previous night. I ended up ordering chicken wings tonight which isn't so great as I am also trying to quit fast food, but I didn't order any pop to come with it so that's fine. Bend but not break! Tomorrow will be a great day!
I did do some thinking about the short term goals and routines I want to accomplish and I came up with a few things:
- create a schedule for myself so I can get into more of a daily routine
- start reading at least 1 hour a day
- go hiking with the meetup group at least once a week
- go to the other meetups that I am a member of at least once a week (board games, card games, trivia nights, etc.)
- watch all the videos on the Game Quitters channel
I think just getting a nice rhythm going with respect to how I go about my day to day activities should help to keep me motivated, focused and energized.
Here are some of my mid to long term goals:
- quit video games and fast food completely by Jan. 1, 2016 (on track)
- go back to school for something by Sep. 2016 (not really sure where this is at)
- renew my gym membership and start going 3 times a week by May 13th, 2016 (on track)
That's about it for today.
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Attempt II - Day 1
I found it very hard to work today, I'm sick of studying and am very confused whether or not to game. I receive support to quit here, and support to game in moderation elsewhere and from my family.
My family opinion has changed to "don't deprive yourself of gaming if that is what you find fun, just as long as you can do it in moderation". This is tempting but I know that I won't be able to play in moderation for long, and not at all when the holidays start.
I think one of the main setbacks I face is that I am essentially slaving away at self improvement by quitting games and not doing enough activities which I find fun.
I am grateful for the ability to choose what to do with my time
I am grateful for the running shoes I got today
I am grateful for the delicious dinner I had today.
As Jay as already said, some days are a grind. Think of those days like the grinding that happens in RPG and MMOs, you're grinding through today so tomorrow you can be better (But this time it's real life). This is the research that will promote you to a new age like in Age of Empires or Mythology.
When I had these kind of days I just told myself even if it wasn't the most productive day, it was still a +1 because I didn't play video games.
Everyone has an opinion, but at the end of the day you get to choose what to do, and deep down inside you know what is the best for yourself.
Everyone needs to stop to have fun, you just gotta find something that is fun! Like Tom I really enjoy listening to music, I listen in my car on the way to university everyday pretty much, and it always keeps me going. When I need a reward, for now that reward tends to be getting to hang out with my girlfriend, unfortunately she is going back to her country soon, so I may need to find some other things to do haha, but one thing at a time!
Did you game on your computer, or on a console? You gotta make it as difficult as possible to relapse in a physical way. If you have a console and a particular game you like to much, maybe you can it online etc. If you relapse again while you're waiting for it to sell, that means you gotta get rid of it ASAP, money is no longer an objective so trade it in at ebgames or donate it somewhere.
When I was in a game crave mode, it was because I didn't want to do anything. My consoles and tv are in a very tight space, so keeping them unplugged means when I'm craving I'm WAY to lazy to squeeze in their and plug them in. That being said, I didn't play console very much after I got into Uni, so really I uninstalled games + steam and that was it.
If you game on a computer, and you've already tried the uninstall technique, and maybe you changed your password, but maybe you don't want to destroy your account then consider selling your gaming computer and getting a computer that doesn't have the power to play the games that tempt you the most.I'm actually thinking of selling my computer myself and getting a far less powerful machine. I don't need this thing anymore and it actually draws a ridiculous amount of electrical power so I should just look at getting something much less powerful.
As you said, that will also all but destroy the temptation to reinstall Steam or Battle.net for example, and create a new account to keep playing.
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Attempt II - Day 1
I found it very hard to work today, I'm sick of studying and am very confused whether or not to game. I receive support to quit here, and support to game in moderation elsewhere and from my family.
My family opinion has changed to "don't deprive yourself of gaming if that is what you find fun, just as long as you can do it in moderation". This is tempting but I know that I won't be able to play in moderation for long, and not at all when the holidays start.
I think one of the main setbacks I face is that I am essentially slaving away at self improvement by quitting games and not doing enough activities which I find fun.
I am grateful for the ability to choose what to do with my time
I am grateful for the running shoes I got today
I am grateful for the delicious dinner I had today.
Sometimes it'll definitely feel like a grind. Not every day is going to be fun. The path to winning is not a straight, easy road, but a path that curves, spirals, sometimes backtracks, often has dead ends, and you may find yourself going in circles at times too.
Some people can game in moderation and that's OK. For me personally, I know I can't. If I start to game, I will take it seriously and everything will start to fall off a cliff. So I wouldn't listen too much to the people who say you should start gaming in moderation if you know you can't. Try to explain to them what happens when you start. They may not understand at first but when they see you pushing forward and working hard towards your goals and dreams, they won't think too much about it anymore most likely.
I'd like to challenge you with this question: do you have a strong enough "why" for why you want to quit gaming? My ultimate reason for it is that I do not want to die having left no one behind. I do not want to die alone. I want to start a family and raise amazing children. For me, that goal cannot include gaming. I do not see a scenario where an environment conducive to being an excellent husband and father includes gaming. I visualize it all the time and I know exactly the types of things I'd be doing in that situation.
So, what's your why? Do you have a reason to do this that is much stronger than all the voices that say it's OK to go back to what you were doing before?
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Thank you very much Tom, I have edited the square on the site you mentioned to make it include my own pursuits, and I have made it my desktop background. Those three things are exactly what I need, except I'm having trouble with finding things I enjoy that are readily available for me to do/use. Cheers for the help!
Thank you to the moon and back jaylajkosz, that was definitely inspirational! I suppose it won't be a failure just as long as I persist and continue on the game quitting path. I am finding your list of motivational songs very helpful, I will make sure to use them if all else fails.
For now I will try and find things that I will find fun and hopefully find purpose that will motivate me to pursue my goals.
Dude don't just listen to that music when all else fails. Do it all the time when you can!
I can tell you from experience that pounding positivity into your head as often as you can works WONDERS! You won't see immediate changes but over time you'll find that you're much more motivated, energized, positive, etc., and can go on MUCH longer before the breaking point where you give up and have to start again.
I have that music that I listen to in my car whenever I am driving around. I have printed and taped inspirational quotes all around my room. I have replaced all my desktop wallpapers with stuff that has positive messages (I have attached these files to this post in case you want to check them out!). I also plan on starting a "vision board" where I have pictures describing my goals and dreams on them.
And yeah, the ONLY time you'll have failed is when you give up. As long as you do not give up, it's impossible to fail.
"It's hard to beat a person who never gives up." - Babe Ruth
"You're never a loser until you quit trying." - Mike Ditka
"Many of life's failures are experienced by people who didn't realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas EdisonSo just keep on keeping on. Success is inevitable to those who never quit.
EDIT: One other VERY CRUCIAL thing to remember is that for many of us, we are attempting to undo YEARS of addiction, as well as all the other shit that came about due to said addiction. It cannot happen overnight. Falling down is inevitable, and a very healthy part of growth. The best lessons are often learned when we fall down I think.
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Awesome, when I make it out to Toronto/Ottawa we'll have to find a way to meet up!
I think that would be a great idea!
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Alex, I feel you man, I've attempted to quit games like 5 or 6 times now and whenever I relapsed I definitely felt bad about it. The important thing is to NOT see relapse as a failure - it is NOT a failure. In fact, failure does not even exist. It is an emotion that humans have invented to label results. And that's all there are - the actions we take, and the results that come as a consequence of said actions. The best part is that you have a choice - you can view undesirable results as a failure, or you can ask yourself "What can I do differently next time to achieve a different result?"
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Edison
And to truly bring it into perspective, check this out: http://www.uky.edu/~eushe2/Pajares/OnFailingG.html Some of the greatest minds in history have "failed" numerous times. What they had in common is that they didn't give up!
That to me is the most crucial part: you cannot give up. You've got to believe in yourself and believe that anything you set your mind to is possible.
As far as your family being disappointed in you, that is very unfortunate. I would explain to them that what you're trying to do is a process and sometimes you're going to take a few steps backwards. Try to explain to them that it is at those times that you start to relapse that you need their support the most. It is easy to do things when we're motivated and energized, but the true test of our mettle comes when doubt, fear, anxiety, etc. start to creep in and dominate our thoughts. That's when you need the support of your loved ones the most.
I can definitely tell you that I believe in you. You absolutely can do it. You have made amazing progress. Try to keep that in mind when you get down on yourself.
And if all else fails, you can sit there and listen to some uplifting music. I've found that helps me a LOT to get back on track. Some suggestions:
Bon Jovi - It's My Life
Brian McKnight - Win
Demi Lovato - Skyscraper
Eminem - Not Afraid (not recommended if you're sensitive to vulgar language)
Gloria Estafan - Reach
Jimmy Eat World - The Middle
Jordin Sparks - You Gotta Want It
Josh Groban - Don't Give Up
Josh Groban - You Raise Me Up
Katy Perry - Firework
Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (this is about a boy, but there's no reason you can't look at it as moving on from your past self that's holding you back!)
Mariah Carey - Hero
Marian Carey, Whitney Houston - When You Believe
Roberta Gold - You Gotta Want It (by far my favorite!)
Shaggy - Hope
Treat - RoarHope this helps, and good luck in your journey!
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I haven't read the entire thing but Think and Be Phenomenal by Howard Partridge is excellent. It has a Christian flavour to it and the man who wrote it comes from a background of becoming a millionaire, but if you can get past all that, it gives you very practical tips on how you can change how you perceive yourself so that you can change your values and ultimately change your actions to whatever it is you desire.
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Yeah for sure, watching someone else play isn't a whole lot different from playing yourself. I have repeatedly asked him to stop talking to me about video games and I basically just ignore it when he does play them. That's about all I can do at this point. Definitely agree that getting out of house would help, it's just a matter of doing it. Fortunately my work schedule has me working while he's at home so it's a lot easier. Just gotta avoid his consoles.
Fortunately I have started to take steps. I have joined a few more Meetups from meetup.com and am rekindling my interest in some of the other ones I am already a part of. Going to a euchre night next Thursday and a board game night the week after. I have also taken steps to remove from my life the remnants of the video games that I own. Gave away my Steam and Battle.net accounts today. I no longer have access to them at all.
As far as stuff about me, I'm 28 years old from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Currently I work at my dad's company, Luba's Linen Supply Inc., just a medium sized linen supply service business. I mentioned that I definitely want to get more education but I'm not sure just yet for what. A bit of that fear creeping in as I am scared of starting something that I'm not going to do anything with yet again.
Some things that I do have an interest in are: astronomy (mostly dabbling, I like reading up about other planets in our solar system and stuff like that), sports (pretty major interest for me, particularly baseball and hockey), politics (mostly just discussions, I never let it get to the point of heated arguments though), motivating and helping other people as much as I can (this one is HUGE for me, if I could help everyone I would). I think a lot about ways I could turn these interests into a stable career but before that I think I need to just start doing something first and see if it's something I'd be interested in participating in long-term. One thing at a time though.
Cam one thing I do want to say is that I think it's super awesome that you actively participate in these forums. You must be a very busy guy so to take time out of your day to interact with us is incredible and also extremely important I think. So thanks!
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Figured I'd start one of these myself.
Don't know if I'll post every single day but it'll be good to use as a way to focus myself and to measure progress. Also never done journaling before so this will be a fun new experience.Well yesterday was the day that I really decided yet again to start the process of quitting not only video games, but also fast food, another addiction of mine. They come hand in hand really. How easy it is to order fast food that you don't have to spend time prepping and cooking when you've got to beat Hero Slayer, Fiend of the Void!
I was actually largely inspired to give it another shot after my counseling session yesterday. Sometimes I need a kick in the butt to get myself going! I do highly recommend professional counseling if you've got no one else in your life to talk to in real life. Counselors make for a great support system, as generally they are non-judgmental and got your back all the way!
Anyway, I had previously deleted all the games from my system as the Respawn guide suggests but I needed to take it a step further - actually work to have all my online accounts (Origin, Battle.net, Steam) permanently deleted. I went ahead and did that with Origin and am working on Battle.net (they want you to send them a letter with photo ID and everything, but given that this is an irreversible process I can understand why they'd want to make the barrier high). Still waiting on a refund for Fallout 4 before I go ahead and dismantle my Steam account.
It actually feels quite liberating to go ahead with these decisions. It's interesting because once the cravings kick in and we relapse, we often forget how good we feel when we make these important changes. Perhaps writing it down in some form will make it easier to remind myself of this going forward.
Going forward, I'm probably going to get back into cooking for myself to improve my nutrition. Beyond that, to fill the void left behind by games might be a struggle. This is the main issue I dealt with then trying to quit video games before. For now, I will be actively pursuing stuff on meetup.com. I have joined some board game and outdoors groups so there should be a lot of things I can participate in.. provided I find the motivation to do so.
Does anyone have any ideas for what to do if you've got family members that you live with who have video game consoles around the house? I have already sold everything that I personally own, but I cannot do anything about my brother's stuff. It's typically not an issue but I want to be ready in case it ever does become one.
Also, if I stop posting here for an extended period of time, PLEASE feel free to bombard my inbox with messages. Like I said above, sometimes I just need a kick in the butt to get myself going again. I will definitely not be offended.
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Thanks for the support guys!
I cannot state enough how important it is to have a support group when trying to make difficult changes in life. It makes it exponentially easier when you have people to inspire you and keep you accountable.
Really glad I found this site.
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My name is Jay and I've been playing video games ever since I was 5 or 6 years old (I am 28 now). It was an off and on kind of addiction for me but during the most hardcore days (grade 7 or 8 to about 3 or 4 years ago) I had been spending the vast majority of my waking hours playing video games. As a result, many areas of my life suffered.
Due to not having a hell of a lot of accountability within my social circle, I didn't work very hard during school and I am suffering the consequences of that to this very day, as I never learned to appreciate the value of working hard. I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't even know what I'm passionate about, and not only is getting started to figure that stuff out a huge challenge, it's also very scary. I also suffer a good deal of social anxiety as well. A good deal of that is because I found it very hard to make friends and was bullied all throughout elementary and high school. At this point I'm not even really sure what to do to go about creating meaningful relationships with other people.
Lastly, and probably worst of all, playing video games just absolutely destroys the rest of my life. I have long term goals and when I'm not playing video games I can make progress towards them, but whenever I start to play they become the sole focus of my life. My nutrition falls apart (oh so easy to order delivery online now, and it doesn't help that I am addicted to that as well..), my sleep schedule goes to shit, and in general I just become a miserable wreck.
This is probably my 4th or 5th attempt to quit video games. I can generally do it for a few weeks at a time but I inevitably go back to it. I long suspected the reason for that which the Respawn guide confirmed (not replacing playing video games with activities that fulfill those needs), but I also completely lack anyone in my life that I trust enough with these things and that would help me. I think having a support network can go a long way to achieving success in not only quitting video games, but life in general.
Anyways, I'm not really sure what I can bring to the table here, but it is very comforting to know that not only am I not alone, but there are awesome sites like this to help people that are going through it.
My Journal - Alex
in Daily Journals
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Alex, I'm really enjoying following your progress. I'm gonna have to find a way to keep up, haha!
I definitely agree with you about talking to people. There are so many people out there, who cares if you embarrass yourself in front of a few of them! The only way to get better at anything is to practice, and if you don't open your mouth and just start talking, you'll never know what kind of friendships you may have missed out on. It's just not something worth fretting about. The added bonus is that once you get over the fear of doing one thing, I think it becomes easier to conquer other fears as well.
Keep at it Alex, you're doing awesome!