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Florian
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Posts posted by Florian
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90 Days Game Free - or you could even call it "90 Days to Freedom"
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Hi Bruno,
For me, quitting addiction comes down to one point: do you do it because you want to, or is this something that has control over your life?
If you have done nothing else but gaming, you won't know how it feels to be without. You don't know whether you want to do it out of choice or because you don't know any better. So first step is exploring other things and then, you can still come back to gaming after you have tried out a whole lot of other activities. Important thing is to give yourself the choice back.
All the best on your journey!
Florian
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@Florian+hycniejsy: One of the things you'll hear the most is that modern technology makes you unable to focus on something for a long time or go without constant stimulus (reading short vs long texts is a constant discussion). My general focus, concentration and need for stimuli stayed pretty much the same after the long span of screen avoidance. So either it's already so hardwired into my brain I can't get rid of it or it's a myth.
I think it's a myth. Gary Vaynerchuk once recalled how he built his business up by using Twitter to reach out to potential customers: 15 hours a day. You have to define a specific outcome and the steps to get there, then distraction should not easily happen.
For example, I don't get distracted when making my coffee in the morning. I know how the end product looks like (coffee in a mug), I know the steps to do: coffee into the filter, water into the machine, switch the "on" button - now it's only a matter of directly executing them. If I don't know what to do, I would have numerous sources of distraction: looking for a suitable filter, mulling over whether I should take a tea spoon or table spoon to measure the coffee, worrying if the coffee machine needs to be wiped beforehand etc.
Define the steps you need to take, and you will not suffer distraction anywhere.
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I think that many things get to be more fun once you break through a certain time/practice barrier. There seems to be a point at around 4-8 weeks where things get though - you lost the "beginner enthusiasm", but are not really that good or have done it enough so that it becomes a habit. This is what happened with me and running. At the beginning i was super-motivated, then after 4 weeks i was running less, then after around 10 weeks it became better, low point was at around 6-8 weeks into it. Now, at 12 weeks, i am at least as motivated as i was at the start, probably even more, which is also why i started my training schedule.
I have the same observation. There are ups and downs. Usually, the biggest danger for me is around certain times where I feel "I got this" and skip the daily habit. Then it all unravels. Knowing these neuralgic points and not letting go in those times is crucial for your success. For me, these points are 3 weeks, 2 months and 6 months in.
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Hey Jan, fellow German here, thanks for writing all this. Also very considerate to include trigger warnings.
Curious about your music - I play cello myself. What instrument are you playing?
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Did you feel your life quality went up when you did not look at screens, or were screens just something you needed to avoid, and the rest of your life stayed more or less the same?
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GoldenGains, thanks for sharing your story. It must be difficult to manage ADHD and depression together, and it seems you never completely fell victim to the various drugs you tried. You got a relationship, took part in a startup, are a decent programmer and you still went to the gym (albeit high). Sounds like your best bet is developing a productive routine that includes taking care of your depression. "Anger" and "frustration" are high energy states, if you can channel them - as you will - into something productive, I am sure you are getting onto the right path.
You're definitely at the right place here!
And I would definitely be willing to try out any beta version of the software app, once you and Cam have it built.
I kind of marvel at the fact 0% carbs in your diet does not kill your good mood. Many people can't stay on a ketogenic diet because without carbs, their happiness goes down. How do you manage to avoid that?
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90 Day Candy Detox Report 2016, part II
Month 02 of my candy detox.
Quick overview of my "why":
Why did I do the 90-Day Detox?
Health and fitness: I wanted to lose body fat, and one efficient way to do this is by avoiding carbohydrate rich food.
Financial health: Sweets drain my financial resources, especially since I prefer the more expensive imported snacks from Germany.
Mindset changes: (a) I wanted to get sweets completely out of my system (hence 90 Day Detox). (b) I wanted my mind to learn that I can’t flee reality into “sweet nostalgia”. Nostalgia is sweet, but I should not need actual sweets as a trigger. (c) I wanted to challenge myself to do something difficult. 3 months without snacks is hard, at least to me.
February
Body Fat
I went from 26.7% to 24.8%. 1.9%. Almost twice as much as in January (1.1%). At some point you gain fat faster than you loose. But in the end, you loose.
Consistency is simple, but it can also be very difficult, since constant small actions don't give you much of an immediate feedback. It is important to have a realistic goal. That's why I use Excel to draw a linear regression through my values that gives me an approximate projection where I will be landing by the end of the year.
I had originally planned to be at 8% by the end of the year, yet I see that my values project more towards 15% by the end of the year.
And that is totally fine. I can't eat less than "no candy". And I am not setting myself up for failure. I'll get towards 8% by the end of 2017. Or 12% by the end of 2017 and 8% by the end of 2018. 3 years instead of one year - honestly, who cares?
Put in the work and be realistic about the outcome. Track your progress that you always know where you stand. If you put in consistent work, you will notice your are advancing in some form.
Finances
4. 2015, average: $717.47 per month for food and groceries.
2016, January: $494.54. for “normal” food. $222.93 savings.
2016, February: $424.05. $293.42 savings. Yes!
Observations
1. Sometimes, I ended up depressed. I countered that with either (a) focussing on the moment, get into a slightly meditative state – as long as I focus on what my hands are doing and where I am standing in that moment, I take my focus away from cravings. Or (b) I started becoming active. Writing. Walking. Talking to people. Activity makes us happy.
2. If I ate around 2,500 calories, my body fat increased even without carbs. Only reducing my caloric load under 1,700/day aided in effectively losing body fat. It definitely paid to count calories. It is not that difficult to cut calories either. For example, simply cutting out the butter from my steak and vegetables took 300 calories off the plate.
3. Having something nice every day as a little reward also helps “ease the pain”. It is important to notice that a 90-Day Detox is not something that you should do forever. You can definitely reintroduce candy or computer games or TV or whatever you wanted to cut out during the detox, as long as you do it a couple of times a week only. The point is to know you went through your detox once and thus trust yourself that you are strong enough to live without your vice.
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Thanks ManGodWhyNo,
this is quite an ambitious goal, fighting binge eating and gaming. It makes sense to slay two dragons at the same time, but be aware it is going to be much harder than taking care of one discipline alone. I definitely suggest you don't just define yourself via blocking two things, but replacing them with positive things. Like, in your case, healthy eating. Are you on the 30-Day Challenge? This video here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAm-1dnPzTI
also stresses the importance of having a purpose, otherwise you are just cutting out gaming, leaving a void that wants to be filled.
It looks from your points you have a pretty good handle on that too.
#1 - Meditation and Yoga - I started with the 10-minute meditations from headspace.com. I haven't yet found a handle for myself on meditation, however: I am writing 1,000+ words every day, that is my way of externalizing all my thoughts and ideas. My form of meditation. So I'd keep up what you are doing. It certainly helps to be more aware of your body. And:
Your body is a temple for your mind. You gotta keep it neat and strong and go visit often!
#2 - Diet Soda is pretty toxic. It works for some people - I myself get sick from it in 20 - 30% of cases though. Did you know we have bacteria in our digestive system that are in contact with the rest of our body and might just help keep the weight down? The research is still fresh, I just can't imagine Diet Soda is good for those little bugs.
#3 - Nuts are healthy. What worked for me as quick and simple meals were: pineapple dices with cottage cheese. Or oatmeal with blackberries and apple: 2 cups oatmeal, 3 cups almond milk, one cup of squashed blackberries, slice and dice 2 apples and add them. You can add honey to make it more palatable, if you want.
#4 - On group settings, if you are sitting at a table, you can just order an espresso for dessert ("because you are still full from this delicious meal"). If you are at a buffett, yuo can load your plate, talk to people and then conveniently "forget" your plate. What you don't want to do is tell everyone about your new diet woes. Well, you can. People will be impressed. Some of them. But for me personally, it always worked better to simply handle these group settings discretely.
#5 - What helps to quell your desire is to not have any snacks at home. Or: you could allow yourself a late night snack, but you have to first go to bed. If you are tucked in, the urge to go back to the kitchen und make yourself some cereal could be just much less than before you go to bed.
#6 - Visualization is an interesting aspect. Keep me updated how that goes!
Good luck with your Detox. If you find it hard to go without gaming and snacking, do allow yourself a cheat day once a week. Otherwise, if one dam breaks, the other gets flooded as well. Meaning: after 3 weeks of successful dual snack-gaming detox, you get massive cravings. You fall for an ice cream, and now your mind says "screw it, I'll restart the detox tomorrow". You don't want that. Instead, notice your cravings and allow yourself a cheat day for your candy, once a week, to take some of the pressure off. So you can completely focus on the gaming detox.
All the best!
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90 Day Candy Detox Report 2016
This is a review of my 90 Day Detox. It’s not about computer games. It is about candy and snacks. I am not that addicted to computer games in the first place, but I appreciate our community because to me, ultimately, it is about one decision:
Will you stop looking for easy relief from your problems – by fleeing into an addiction - and instead develop your purpose and work towards it?
Let me say right here that I finished it. I'll write my experiences up for each month January - February - March - to see the development I have taken.
Why did I do the 90-Day Detox?
1. Health and fitness: I wanted to lose body fat, and one efficient way to do this is by avoiding carbohydrate rich food.
2. Financial health: Sweets drain my financial resources, especially since I prefer the more expensive imported snacks from Germany.
3. Mindset changes: (a) I wanted to get sweets completely out of my system (hence 90 Day Detox). (b) I wanted my mind to learn that I can’t flee reality into “sweet nostalgia”. Nostalgia is sweet, but I should not need actual sweets as a trigger. (c) I wanted to challenge myself to do something difficult. 3 months without snacks is hard, at least to me.
January
Setup your mind, reduce your temptations
1. The whole detox does not work when there are sweets around: I tried the detox before and succumbed to candy (november 2015).
2. Don’t bang yourself up about past problems: I reframed all instances in the past where I “fell off the wagon” as “test-run”.
3. But also don’t allow yourself an easy out: I actively chose before I started the 90-Day Detox in January 2016 to really get through those tough times when temptation to cheat was high. I wanted to see what happened when I would stay steadfast.
Body Fat
1. See picture attached – I went from 27.3% to 26.2%. 1.1%. That was disappointing to me, because just two years ago I had cut out carbs for a whole month and lost 2.4% - more than twice as much. I guess I am not getting younger!
2. I actually started at 27.3%, then was still at 27.3% after a “sucky” week. One week more, I was at 27.0%. Not very motivating, but I did not give up.
3. The body fat curve is actually a great proxy for a lot of other things we want to change in our life. Sometimes, from one day to the other – even from one week to the other! – things seem to stagnate or get worse, despite our best efforts! But on the long run, the effects manifest themselves. From 27.3 to 26.2% in one month is “just” a little more than 1%, but imagine after one year? 15%! Half a year more, and we would be at 8%. Likely it gets harder the more you try to lose, but even if you need 3 years to get to 8% bodyfat – isn’t that time investment worth the outcome? So whenever we feel like there is no progress, it helps to look at real numbers tracked over a longer period of time. Change is there, even if it is not noticeable at first. The days are long, but the years are short.
Finances4. 2015, average: $717.47 per month for food and groceries.
5. 2016, January: $494.54. for “normal” food. $222.93 savings. No kidding: without snacks, I can save $3,000 per year. $3,000!
What was my mood like?1. On several days, I experienced massive cravings for snacks. Usually once or twice a week.
2. During the third week, sweets and snacks started fading from my mind.
How did I get my emotional state back up?
1. Visualizing how much better I will look after a loss of body fat.
2. Read books and blog posts of people that are in shape and healthy and appreciate their positive mindset. Ideally people who went through a detox or something similar as well.
3. Reminding myself that I commited to the lent and that achieving the 90-Day Detox will make me happy.
4. When I felt nostalgic, I made myself some nice tea.
5. I also recalled that sometimes, when I binged on sweets in the past, my stomach would ache. Remember how sometimes happiness can turn to annoyance! Just by having too much. Thoughts like these help remind me that not everything is as desirable as it may seem on first glance.
This was month 1. I’ll give a report on month 2 - february - in the coming days.
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Sorry for being absent for a while, I'm back!
As a quick suggestion, because I think that book has not been mentioned as often:
Randy Pausch, The Last LectureRandy was diagnosed with terminal stage pancreatic cancer, and then he prepared for one last lecture telling people how to "really achieve your childhood dreams". The book chronicles his journey towards this lecture.
This is his lecture.
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Actually, while everyone has mulled over and talked about his NYE resolutions in the daze of last year's end's special mode of accountability... and the fog is clearing up into the actual New Year, confronting our dreams with reality - here is a video I found just now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2V-PwAphS8
According to Gary Vaynerchuk, you best spend January 2016 with listening, and then match what the customers/team members/your own progress are telling you with the goals you want to achieve and make THAT happen by the end of 2016.
So therefore I will spend January 2016 in making my blog better navigatable, so I get a clearer sense of which articles have done well in the month of January and then focusing on writing more about those topics that performed well.
I think the video above makes a lot of sense in many different topics, because end of January is the time most NYE's resolutions fizzle out. Maybe people only need to take a small step further and adjust their resolutions to the pace they were able to go during January, then keep that pace during the rest of the year.
E.g. I want to get down to 8% body fat by the end of 2016, but if January makes me lose "only" 1%, then maybe what I can expect is only a loss down to 15% by year's end. Still a win.
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Curious to see how you will feel after 90 days of no sweets and snacks. Bet you will feel a more clear energy.
The first day was very relieving. Apart from an apple, did not even eat any carbs - no desire. Just meat, eggs, protein shake and vegetables. Hot lemon because of my cold, and the sweetener was Stevja, neither honey nor sugar. So yes, it is going well so far.
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Very impressive, Travis. You drew that lion? Blew me away.
You might like the following two books for fiction: Michael Ende's "Momo" and "Neverending Story".
It's a very unique blend of beauty and creativity. "Momo" focuses on the uniqueness of time, while the "Neverending Story" focuses on your creativity while staying true to yourself.
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Gratitude journal:
1. My relatives. It's nice that I get along with all of them and am friends with some of them.
2. International couples. The best way to tear down obsolete mental borders.
3. People nice enough to drive me around.
People, people, people. That's what happiness always comes down to. If you want to know whom to look at for advice, those that value true friendships are almost always a safe bet.
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After 1,5 months of gaming I figured out I should probably stop. The moment I have relapsed I have been playing games every single day. It gave me a temporary escape to feelings of boredom, stress, anxiety and cruel reality. Now what would be a better way to start 2016 game-free, as cliche as it may sound. I must admit I am not even fully prepared as I was just playing games this morning. The past few days just felt so.. empty. With many people out there having the time of their lives while you're at home I wonder where did it go wrong? Maybe due to having no other form of entertainment. Fortunately, pain is temporary as certain events are merely snapshots and will fade away. That doesn't however justify the continuing cycle of binge gaming, thinking it's okay.
I found out that in order to quit games I need to be prepared. You don't just quit out of the blue, you need to have a plan. Suddenly games are cut out of your life and you have to find a replacement for that. If you suddenly quit and have not plan, then you'll soon go back to gaming. Therefore I hope things will turn for the better this time. Unfortunately I cannot change back the time, but I can move on from games and move forward. I'm still young and I have a bright future ahead. I know very well what I need to do in order to succeed in life. The first step would be cutting off games.
Imagine the amount of hours, days, months played in games to be put into something productive. Not just by one individual, but by everybody. There would be no war, everything would be perfect. But Utopia does not exist, and I am not perfect either. This relapse has proven that not just every journey goes perfect. Success without struggle would be boring, wouldn't it?
Anyway, today I met up with my family. It was great seeing them again. After that I had my first 10k run of the year. I'm still not fully recovered of my knee injury but I am making great progress so far and I can run again. I also deleted a game of my computer to fight the urge so I could spend my time on more usefull things.You ran with an injured knee? Impressive. Don't rehurt it though! I once had a nasty ankle on my left foot from running through the pain, and it took me ca. 10 years to fully heal. Good luck.
Concerning quitting. I had resolved to following multiple goals through 2015. With mixed success. For example, I managed to have cold showers every morning, every day. But I did not manage to stay off sweets.
So how did I manage one and not the other? Cold showers are not exactly pleasant, especially in the New Jersey winter. And at any time, I could have switched to warm water. But I didn't. Yet for snacks... I always caved in. Why?
I think one difference was that I only shower in the morning and that is it. If I was only tempted to skip snacks for breakfast, that would have been no problem at all. But I eat more than breakfast.
I am tempted multiple times a day to break my vows with eating. Would I shower multiple times a day, I would probably have to cut off the warm water supply for my apartment.
So the first solution is to - of course - get rid of your games (or sweets in my case). Even if you brave through the presence of games, it takes energy away from your willpower. We have discussed this at length here in this forum, I believe.
But here is the new point I found, and it is an extension of the 'Slight Edge' principle from Jeff Olson: aim for not playing for the morning. At lunch, pat yourself on the back you did not play in the morning. At 6 pm, celebrate the victory for not playing again. And before you go to bed, make another x in your calendar for not having played.
Don't focus on a single day when you are tempted to play. You are tempted more than once during that day. Focus on single stretches of hours during the day. If necessary, focus on each hour you withstand playing. Hour for hour. Celebrate each one.
Sometimes when we have trouble conforming to a larger goal, we really have to take it step by step. A day without gaming can seem too much. But an hour without gaming we can probably do. Celebrate yourself more often during the day when you are quitting gaming.
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I also have a quick question to everyone.
It concerns the choice of mentors.A couple of days I wrote a blog post about 10 potential mentors with one question I would ask each one of them.
I think I probably listed a big group of multimillionaires and billionaires from Donald Trump to Richard Branson.
Looking back at that list, I feel a little bit guilty.
There have been so many people helping me throughout my life, why would I introduce potential mentors that I have never even met?
Wouldn’t it have been my moral obligation to mention those first that have actually helped me already?
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A Happy New Year to everyone!
One of my New Year's Resolutions is to do a 90-Day Detox. Not for Games, in my case, because I have never really been addicted, but for sweets and snacks. I hope that is still congruent with the Game Quitters mission.
I can bake a cake myself, or take some carbohydrate rich meal containing rice, oats, pasta now and then, but no sweets, chips or treats that you would normally find in a supermarket. Also no McDonald's or Burger King - I have never felt completely satisfied from their meals anyway.
This is really something that I have not managed to live without, and it is slowly killing me.
If I have cravings, I will motor through them, because those instances will also be great learning experiences.
Once I am over my cold, I will also go out and finish the remaining parts of the 30-day challenge I did not yet get to.
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Hi Travis, delete your accounts. First, I know it can seem like "what's the harm of an occasional game, I am over the bad habit" - yet you will be so unhappy about it if you fall back into old patterns. According to Keller's and Papasan's "The ONE Thing", forming a habit my actually anything from 3 weeks to 10 months. So you might not be over it yet.
Second, rest assured games will not disappear when you delete your STEAM accounts. You can get back, that's for sure. So you could think to yourself: even if I delete them and really really REALLY want to get back to gaming in one year, I may have to rebuild my accounts and it can take a while, but the possibility is always there. So maybe that makes it feel less going over a cliff.
Speaking of cliffs - sometimes a cliff is good. Take a leap of faith. Be like Indiana Jones (sorry for the advertizing) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5VjZ1ORS8YThird, if I imagine myself in your shoes, I could not be sure that what I really want when I gift the subscription to my nephew - is to "stay in the loop". Maybe even be a "game mentor"! Silly mind of mine. What kind of mentor would that be? But I know my mind, and it is quite adept at finding creative ways to keep holding on to the addiction.
Agree 100% with Cam. Connect in real ways to your nephew. And if he wants to find games, he'll find them. So... you can be the mentor that prevents him from falling prey to gaming addiction! By making meaningful connections.
All the best, your first 90 days done, starting the second 90 day round - you inspire the heck out of me!
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Travis, let me join in the choir of those that congratulate you and wish you well.
You realize that you are good writer as well? It is a pleasure to read your posts! The trials and tribulations and what you learnt from them shines greatly through. All the best for your next 90 days!
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10. Richard Strauss’ “Thus Spoke Zarathustra”. Most of us know the very first trumpet and timpani solo. I encourage you to listen longer. Observe how long the organ stays active after 1:40 in the video. Or notice how one of the greatest waltzes in symphonic history at 21:00 gets built up from 17:46 onwards. The cello passages after 18:34 are some of the hardest parts I have ever played myself. But amazing! This whole orchestra sounds like a gigantic wall of sound with single voices clearly sticking out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf5snUSJpLU100%!
Have you ever listened to Antonin Dvořák - Concerto in B minor Op. 104? One of my all-time favorites!
Just listening to Brahms Cello Sonata op. 38 right now, always great.
But the cello concerto you mentioned has a special place in my heart - it was also my very first CD I ever bought.
Same interpret as in the link you posted, actually... different orchestra. The whole part after 10:34 is simply stunningly beautiful, especially the passage after 11:40. Must be one of my favorites in all of music. Also see the duet with the violin at 38:00 - you realize Dvorak was good in composing chamber music as well. It's an almost intimate passage between cello and violin.
I learnt to love this concert when I would ride my bike in the fall of 1990 during dusk, fog hanging over the fields, then coming home and listening to that music on my tape recorder. One of the best times of my life.
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Woot! Love seeing the progress you're making, especially when it comes to your mindfulness around social skills. Can't believe you saw Saving Private Ryan for the first time last night. Where have you been?
I was never super interested in WW2 growing up. My friends have a list of war movies that I have to watch now, so I'm going to try to work on that backlog haha.
I can also recommend Wolfgang Petersen's 'Das Boot'. It's German with English subtitles, but the movie is absolutely brillant and very realistic - filmed after an eye witness account/book by Lothar Günther Buchheim. The travels of a German submarine during WW2. That's basically it.
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I also did my collage/wallpaper today.
1 - I want to be my own boss
2 - I want to move into my own apartment
3 - I want to have a car (honda civic :D)
4 - I want to buy an awesome suit
5 - I want to read many books
6 - I want to change/help an older mans' life
7 - I want to learn to play the guitar
8 - I want to lose weight and get in shape
9 - I want to travel to Tokyo
That collage is great! Love #6.
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What am I grateful for today?
1. Thank God It’s Monday! One of my most favorite mottos. Even though I can hardly wait to get up any day of the week, mondays are especially sweet.
2. Getting up early. 5:30 am. Dream come true. If I had thought I'd say that 5 years ago, I would have thought I'm crazy.
3. My space heater. Warm apartment, happy Florian.
4. My family. Always there for me. My mother will be visiting over Christmas.
5. “Getting Things Done” meetup tonight. And the meetup was great, met nice people.
6. My iPad. Thanks to this device, finished "Crush It!" by Gary Vaynerchuk on my way home in the commute.
7. Christmas time. Even though it's far too warm. I expect some snow soon! The weather should behave.
8. Books. See point #6.
9. Helpful friends. Similar to my family. I have reached out to old friends from high school THREE TIMES this year.
10. Richard Strauss’ “Thus Spoke Zarathustra”. Most of us know the very first trumpet and timpani solo. I encourage you to listen longer. Observe how long the organ stays active after 1:40 in the video. Or notice how one of the greatest waltzes in symphonic history at 21:00 gets built up from 17:46 onwards. The cello passages after 18:34 are some of the hardest parts I have ever played myself. But amazing! This whole orchestra sounds like a gigantic wall of sound with single voices clearly sticking out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf5snUSJpLUWhat would make today great?
If I got my list done according to schedule.
Not completely, but most of it. Deadlines for your daily projects work amazingly well.Daily affirmation.
No matter what happens, I will come out on top.Three amazing things that happened today.
1. The "Getting Things Done" meetup went well.
2. My Twitter fellowership is growing.
3. I finished another blog post.
How could I have made today better?
If I had managed to also cook for the next days. Tomorrow!
Tim's Weekly Journal
in Daily Journals
Posted
Hi Asquerade,
the 90-Day anti-sugar detox is a great experience of sacrifice, ultimately worth it.
If you can, try vegetable juice. If you have a juicer: 3 carrots, one apple, one thumb of ginger gives you great juice, and then you can gradually move your sugar tolerance up, so that kale-celery-beet juice tastes sweet enough. If you don;'t have a juicer, you can buy "V8 juice" in the supermarket, it's an ok replacement. If you like it, a cheap juicer is around $60. Mine has never failed me so far. Let me know if you need more information.
And good luck with your diet!