giblets

You got this Moegli! I am glad you are not too hard on yourself. If you stick around in San Fran long enough, they might throw a 49ers jersey on you! I heard their QB situation is not very good. My relapses were in the same situations, thinking "sweet, nothing to do for a few days, no guilt here!" but the guilt is always there after hitting the X button. Besides, there is always something to do when you have kids, right? Cleaning, chores, prepping, planning. No time to waste!

Don't cut off everything at the start, eg no net surfing, as you will begin to resent it and because you'll be making so many changes at once, it might be hard to see what ones are actually effective and work the best. Maybe start with not surfing on gaming sites, but still doing some recreational surfing or personal development, then go from there. You'll get better at it the more you practice. What course are you studying?

How did you go mate?

How did you go? Get your morning exercise sorted? Doing exercise in the morning before work/school does require a lot of discipline and to have your life sorted the night before - both aspects that aren't very common so you won't see many people voluntarily choosing to do exercise in the morning. Start on episode 14 of the GQ podcast, there are some very helpful guys on that one ?

Change your environment. Go for a walk, get away from your desk, go to a different room, do some dishes, heck even watch tv if all else fails.

Reading. Listening to podcasts, particularly productivity ones so I can sleep on them overnight rather than rushing into them hap-hazardly, I find they stick a lot better that way. Stretching - having a shower then a good solid 30 minutes stretching always makes me feel so limber at the morning, which helps spring you out of bed and eager to get on with the day - especially if your morning routine includes exercise of some description. I tried journalling at night as well but really lacked motivation to do it effectively, so I don't recommend it. Doing the dishes is another good one while listening to a podcast - nothing makes me roll my eyes more than waking up in the morning and seeing a trashed kitchen.

Find a new hobby as #1. Like, a brand new one, not one you already had. That way you need to put a bit of effort into it every day or so to get better at it, and you get the feedback loop of improving over those 90 days. Kind of replacing the digital feedback loop with an actual feedback loop.

@Moe Smith - I am super pumped to hear you have had a great breakthrough. This will lift a massive weight off your shoulders, and give you more capacity to focus on personal development and your family, leading to more breakthroughs! If your current company merely matches the offer, I'd recommend to still go. If I was in your shoes (US size 9? I could maybe try a 9.5 at a stretch if you're that much bigger than me) then I would only stay if they gave a nice premium over the top of that offer to try and account for how they treated you so far. If they don't, just thank them for their time and move on to the next chapter of your life. Maybe one day when you reach the lofty heights of needing an EA, give me a yell ?

Mate, sounds like you have made a very important and intelligent first step! That is the hardest step to make. Now it's all about one foot after the other. In relation to how to fill the time, you will be initially blown away by how much spare time you have without firing up games. It can be almost overwhelming, which causes people to relapse and go back to filling it with gaming. The way I got around with it is with concepts from the Millionaire Morning. Now I caveat this with not actually having read the Millionaire Morning, but after reading and listening to so many books that keep referring to the principles of it. Anyway, get up early and before start getting ready for the day, make a list of things you want to achieve. You can break them down into what you want to achieve in a year, a month, a week, and a day. Then break those down into bite size tasks to get there. Using running as an example because that's my go-to and you mentioned it, lets say your yearly goal is to run a marathon. TO achieve that, you should try to run a bit or exercise every day. So your daily tasks now includes doing some exercise. Once you have done that (this may take some time for the first time you do it, I got a life/leadership coach to help initially) then you will have quite a healthy list of daily tasks. If you tell yourself, hey you can't play games or waste time/consume content until it's all done for the day, your productivity will be huge. Before long, you'll find the day is over and you haven't had any spare time to even consider gaming. Of course that is an overly simple way of explaining it, and you will have to tailor it to your own circumstances/style, but I am happy to keep helping you as you progress through your journal! All the best mate.

Saw a picture of you on the internet today Moe-gli! Here it is. Mate, people like that are in every work environment. I used to be amazed how they got as far as they did without improving or becoming emotionally intelligent/stable with their age and wisdom, or at least semi-self aware, but all it did was get me frustrated. Now I just focus that energy on improving myself and I take notes whenever they do dumb stuff like childish tantrums or inappropriate behaviour, and refer to those notes regularly on what I don't want to be.

I'll check out Scott and Rich, I haven't heard of those guys. 100 miles isn't even the pinnacle... there are 260mile races in Europe and a ~130 mile through the Himalayas (I think it was).

162.2km! It took me far longer than his 24 hours because I injured my foot (he injured his too, but he had broken bones and I had ligaments), but I am so glad I did it.

David Goggins inspired me to run 100 miles, so he's fantastic!

Nope, I think it's in Brisbane, and I think I have only been to Brisbane once or twice. For sure buddy! I enjoy pottering around in the garden and the idea of growing your own food, but I am ultimately pretty bad at it. My long term goals include when I live in my own house again to have an aquaponics shed setup - that way you can grow your favourite fruit and vegetables all year around, season-independent. It can also be highly automated, removing the element of me stuffing it up!

My boy Moegli! Glad to see you back mate. I have wondered on more than one occasion on how you were going, and deep down inside I wondered if you had gone back to the crutch of gaming, but I kept telling myself that it wasn't the case and you were too busy crushing it as a Dad. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get more out of your life. It is what drives me - achieving more with less. I think the initial detox really opens your mind to the world of personal development and the doors that it could open for you if you keep improving on it. I would thoroughly recommend jumping on some personal development podcasts. I am still huge on podcasts and find that I get at least one gem from each show that I can use, even just for a short moment so you don't fall into a rut or a repetitive routine. Everytime I do something that I feel does not contribute to my goals - TV, games, sleeping too much, watching too much sport, etc - then I get a bit ansy and feel like I am wasting my life again. I think you are going through the same thing. As for the tortellini - don't worry about it, there is too much gluten in it anyway! For getting the kiddos up early, remember when Bob was talking about the Miracle Morning? Try waking up earlier than your family and get yourself ready before they wake up. That way by the time they get up it doesn't matter what time it is, you're almost ready to go. You are probably achieving this already by getting up at 4am, but make sure those hours count. Shower, have breakfast, do some reading or some journalling or meditation, then start getting everything else ready - lunch for yourself, bags for the kids, washing/cleaning for your wife. I found that after a while of getting up early I tended to lose direction and didn't achieve much, which really calls into question why you're getting up early in the first place, so stay disciplined. Clearing your mind as soon as you wake up will really help with this, through meditation or else. As for the garden... mate mine is getting a bit out of control, can you nip around and work on it for me? ?

Overcoming Regrets of Wasted Time

It's been quite some time since I have been back on the forums! About eight weeks to be exact I think. It have been keeping myself moving and progressing with life - I hate the word busy after watching a TED talk on it being "the biggest excuse in the English language." It's so true though. Several people I have spoken to at work when they complain they are busy and can't achieve everything, I ask them, "what time did you get up in the morning?" or "how many hours did you sit in front of the TV today?" The answer mostly is along the lines of a) twenty minutes before work after hitting the snooze button three times, and b) 'only' 3 hours. When I hear someone say "I'm too busy right now", my brain instantly translates that to "This is not a priority for me." That's cool, we can't prioritise everything in life, in fact we need to choose when and where to be bad at something in order to focus on our priorities (eg I choose to be bad at sports so I can prioritise running, or I choose to be bad at social conversation about news or TV shows so I can prioritise my family), we need the awareness to accept that instead of simply complaining, which is the path of least resistance (and therefore most chosen). Going to work hard on rebuilding a routine of coming back onto the forums for at least 30 minutes a day, I found that when I was reading over journals and engaging in discussion here, it was when my personal development was at its highest. It hasn't been non-existent while I have been away, but has definitely slowed. It makes it a bit difficult when the "peer" group of posters/quitters that were around during my detox have all disappeared/moved on. I hope they are all doing well. I have brought my Marathon count up to 15 now. I am loving these virtual medals, it really encourages me to push through the pain barrier and bonking. If anyone is after a great motivation tool, you can find them here at http://www.virtualrunner.com.au.

Boredom is an interesting frame of mind. Life isn't boring - there is so many things to do, from the productive to the relaxing/meditative, but rather if you want tasks or enjoying to fall into your lap, then when it doesn't happen you think life is "boring". I have found the less and less I use technology the less boring I have found life - there is such a great feeling from just being in the moment.

Don't get hung up on this. There are millions of people who can manage alcohol but a portion who are alcoholics. Same with pain killers. Or porn. For some people the right buttons get triggered and you just can't turn it off. By bringing yourself down about it and wondering "why can't I deal with this?" achieves nothing. What makes this mindset even worse is those people who can manage it properly looking down on you and thinking you're a second-grade person. Ultimately, those people just lack emotional intelligence, something that if you follow this path to the end, you'll be well on your way to achieving to a high level, because you will confront your feelings or thoughts head on rather than hiding from them and stagnating.

Hey TSL, I'm glad to see you keep getting back up and dusting yourself off after each hiccup rather than giving up, that's great! That's the Aussie Battler spirit ? If 90 days seems daunting, look at it in smaller chunks. Once you break through ~20 days you'll have a totally new routine that you will begin to wonder where you had time for gaming, and if you maintain that momentum it's all downhill from there.

All the best mate! You have definitely come to the right place to find high quality support to discover the better you!

Oh man, you had me at 386. Those memories... Welcome mate! It sounds like we are driven by the same things. You have the right reasons and the intent, so you've got this!

Hi Lea! Glad to see another Aussie on the forums. Our numbers were greater a while back, so time for us to retake the forum :) Glad to see you have started your journey with the right intention! I look forward to following your progress, and if you want to chat to someone who has gone through the detox, I am always here to help and in the same timezone :)

Hi Bob! After reading how your 2018 was, the following quote comes to mind - "The best time to plant a tree was 18 years ago, the next best time is now." The best thing I can say is learn from this experience! History is doomed to repeat itself if we don't learn from it.

While running yesterday I started reflecting on the folly of 'digital achievements'. I am not sure why it got brought on, maybe because I had @Cam Adair's recent FB comments about not seeing instant rewards/feedback in life. I used to be a massive achievement hunter - like unless there was an achievement in doing something, I wasn't interested in doing it. I would, however, happily waste 4+ hours chasing some rare rabbit or some other rubbish. Why? I could have all the digital achievements in the world and they mean nothing as soon as I step out the door. All those achievements I did get, what are they doing for me now? How are they advancing me? Spoiler alert - they're not. Its interesting that we get so suckered into chasing them and think that they are the big all and end all, whereas they are just pixels. The other side of that is there is many achievements that do have instant feedback in life, rather than the 'delayed' that people were talking about, like doing the dishes (achievement: clear bench), finishing a puzzle (achievement: cool picture), going for a walk (achievement: visiting a new place), or not buying that beer (achievement: extra money). Maybe because nothing flashes in front of you eyes, nothing lights up, no little DISSSHHHHHH sound, that we don't it as enticing. Or we simply EXPECT that to happen anyway without any effort. Spoiler alert - nothing happens without our effort.