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giblets

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  1. 26 Apr 17. So I'm considering taking my journal offline. I think some of the topics I want to write (and think about) during this process are TL;DR for this forum, so it may be a good idea just to keep it offline in a word or excel document. I will reflect on this again today but that is definitely what I am leaning towards. I will include it in my weekly goals to make a decision by the end of the week. So the last 48 hours were really good, but again really busy. I realised last night that maybe I have overloaded myself a little bit since my last relapse, and I might be wearing myself out. I will need to rethink how much I am trying to achieve, maybe on the 27th I will have a chance to sit down and reflect on this. I am very happy with what I have achieved though, but I think I need to rest a bit. So the "I'm a healer" thing is still happening, and it's quite random when it occurs. It's frustrating, mainly because I think I am letting it get to me too much because I don't know what is causing it, which is a bit of preoccupation in itself. I need to do some more research to see how I can break this crap. Caught up with a mate yesterday for lunch, and the topic of discussion did cover games from the last couple of weeks, as he is primarily the main person I play games with (or used to). I was a bit worried about this, I thought afterwards I might have to battle with preoccupation, but it didn't follow. Very happy about that. I wonder if that is a combination of my self-improvement mentality after the relapse, or whether I have cut my gaming so low, even without achieving the 90 day detox, that I am no longer seeing it as something I need to enjoy myself. Who knows, but I am happy with it nonetheless. If only I could break the "I'm a healer" thing next.... Days: Game Free: 8 (26 Apr)Facebook Free: 0 (25 Apr)Alcohol Free: 0 (25 Apr)Running Training: 0 (25 Apr)Language Training: 6 (19 Apr)Today I was grateful for: Open source software. I have become such a fan of it in the last 7+ years, that I probably should do something about it, such as contribute somehow or make a donation.Today I learned: Raisin toast. Talk about a baby distractor!Goals completed today: Maintained language streak. Got my 5 ingots for achieving a week streak, and then immediately doubled down to keep going.Assignment submitted! Not happy with its quality, but it is a step in the right direction. Now to start on the next one.Got a haircut!Goals I didn't complete today: Prioritise my goals. Did have a quick chat with my coach after I gave him the results of an Emotional Intelligence survey I did a few weeks ago, and I promised I would sit down and go through it in detail with my goals on Friday.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Drink 500ml of water as soon as I wake up.Goals for tomorrow: Maintain language streak.Work out how to select a date range and corresponding cells from a spreadsheet.Sort all my electronic peripherals to work out what I need to order for my laptop project.Put all game accessories in the shed.GTD Tip for tomorrow: Still the same as I haven't had a chance to implement it yet - Wait 24 hours before replying to emails.Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Add a budget function every day. Add 10 transactions a day.Keep my spending under $100 for the week.Clear out all game accessories in the shed.Try to talk to my leadership coach. Prioritise my goals.Start my research essay.Start building a timelapse project for the garden.Start to achieve some of these goals so it's not a stale copy and paste!
  2. I am trying to use this to my advantage and entrench new hobbies or passions, but my brain just loves to slip back to thinking about gaming. I am trying to do more with electronics, with wiring, soldering and building my own gadgets. That's what really interests me right now, so I am trying to make that my main aim/thought, with the long term aim of automating as much as possible. I'd love to start my own automation business one day, where I could go to country areas or towns where they generally don't have access to this technology, or at least this expertise, and automate their mundane tasks. I definitely think I am being far more productive ever since the relapse, so I am definitely more thankful for that.
  3. 23 Apr 17. For some reason I keep waking up in the morning and thinking about someone asking me what I do for a living, and I always respond with "I'm a healer". What the heck? Why does my brain think this? Obviously there is a massive connection somewhere in my brain that I have reinforced over the years of games. The reason I can guarantee its from gaming is usually the next thing that flicks into my brain is my World of Warcraft character, a druid, which was a healer. I haven't played WoW for probably a year, since my son arrived and I could no longer devote time to being on a headset and giving my complete focus to a dungeon or whatever, so why does my brain keep thinking that? I really would like to work this out. Yesterday was really good. My wife went out with the day with my son in order to let me study all day. I only left the house once, and that was to go for a run at about 3pm because I was going crazy of sitting staring at a screen for so long, all the words were blurring together and no longer sinking in. The rest of the day was reading journals non stop. The good news is I completed my last discussion point online. I would like to do more work on those, but I don't have time, I need to focus on my assignment now which is due today. Sadly the discussion point took an extra day than I was budgeting for, so now I only have one day left for my assignment. I guess the silver lining is I had a framework for the assignment already and 1000 words completed, so I only need to add an extra 500 and fine tune it, but it means now that I am not going to get it to the standard I wanted. This is always my problem, but I blamed it on games, this time I don't really have an excuse. I should of stopped running for the last week or so to save my energy for studying, but hindsight is 20/20. Yesterday I also fell into the trap of watching a couple of speed run videos on youtube of arcade games. I am glad I didn't relapse into gaming, but I am disappointed I wasted some time on this, not just when I watched the videos but the inevitable preoccupation that followed. I lost maybe 2 hours of productivity as a result which is disappointing. I think the trigger to do this was talking to a few mates about games, a few of them called me for life advice early in the morning and we touched on games, and that was all it took. It takes so little effort for me to fall back into that hole so I really need to keep an eye on it. Probably will not make a journal entry tomorrow - I am travelling to see my family for ANZAC Day on Tuesday. I think I will be able to get back to an entry on Tuesday night when I get home. It's possible I could get an entry tomorrow as I am taking my laptop to keep studying, but I am not promising anything. A lot of my habits I am trying to build with my tracker will have to be paused tomorrow as well. Hopefully the impact will be minimal. Days: Game Free: 6 (17 Apr)Facebook Free: 6 (17 Apr)Alcohol Free: 5 (18 Apr)Running Training: 2 (21 Apr)Language Training: 4 (19 Apr)Today I was grateful for: GTD Podcast, again, and that it's free. They have different interviews with various people, business owners, entrepreneurs, etc. They tend to always say/recommend the same thing - today it was about closing your inbox again and avoiding distractions on your phone. Love it.My wife spending the whole day out of the house so I could study. I know this isn't something she wanted to do, and would of impacted my son's nap schedule, but it let me absorb so much study material.My massive balcony that is letting me experiment with gardening. Always loved gardening, I think I got that from my Grandpa and my Dad, but I have never been good at it.Today I learned: How ridiculously easy it is for me to get preoccupied with games. This is dangerous.Goals completed today: Completed language training again. My 5 ingots is going strong.Talked to friends on the phone and gave a bunch of life advice. Happy with this. I think it helps me more than them.Drank a boatload of water, and felt a lot better this morning. Need to ensure I repeat it again today.GTD Podcast. Ep 28 - "Mind Mapping". I think this mind mapping made more sense to me than the last one, but still need to put effort into it.Submitted discussion point #2.Goals I didn't complete today: Prioritise my goals. Did have a quick chat with my coach after I gave him the results of an Emotional Intelligence survey I did a few weeks ago, and I promised I would sit down and go through it in detail with my goals on Friday.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Drink 500ml of water as soon as I wake up.Goals for tomorrow: Maintain language streak. I have 5 ingots riding on this.Drink 500ml of water as soon as I wake up.Submit my assignment.Get a haircut, hippy.GTD Tip for tomorrow: Wait 24 hours before replying to emails.Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Submit both my tertiary study assignments. (first one completed!)Add a budget function every day. Add 10 transactions a day.Keep my spending under $100 for the week. (failed!)Clear out all game accessories in the shed.Try to talk to my leadership coach. Prioritise my goals.
  4. This; inspiring! 41 days is epic. Are you pushing for the 90 days? I like your mindset of not suiting you anymore, that could be very useful to self-improvement!
  5. 22 Apr 17. Another busy day. Tried to mix up work and study but it didn't really play out that well, I ended up working much more than I wanted to, and got virtually zero study done. Puts a bit of pressure onto today, now 48 hours left to get both assignments completed. I did get some social invites out this weekend and yesterday, but I declined them all due to study commitments. I am proud of this, usually I think I can mix the two but after a couple of beers I can't study at all and it's a wasted day. The good thing is nobody got upset or questioned it so I am not annoyed by it or anything. Woke up early again this morning even though it is Saturday, to try and knock off as many things off my habit tracker as early as possible before focusing on study for the rest of the day. I have done a lot of that so far, but for some reason I left this entry until last. I think because yesterday I really struggled with the entry because I felt so dehydrated and today I was preoccupied with a formula for my budget spreadsheet that I just HAD to put in - as I was wrestling with it for a few days. The good news is it worked, so now I have to do 2 less clicks per transaction entry. My ultimate goal is to only have to enter 2 bits of data for every entry so its quick and easy and I don't find it painful, but still get all the analysis that I want that I had set up in my old budget spreadsheet. It's already achieving it's aim, as it displays totals of where all my money has been going and identifies I am spending too much in some areas, such as spending 20% of my paycheck in April on electronics... that's an extreme number. Need to bring that down for sure. Other than that, very little of interest went on yesterday. I went for another run, and I am finding the thing that is holding me back is my legs. I finished the run not puffed or exhausted at all, but my legs were pillars of concrete. I really need to fix that somehow. My average pace per km is now sub-7 minutes, which is an improvement from when I have started, but I am not entirely sure if my legs are feeling better or getting better. Going to register for a city run in a couple of months which is 14km, that will be the test of how I am going! MUST nail study today. Days: Game Free: 5 (17 Apr)Facebook Free: 5 (17 Apr)Alcohol Free: 4 (18 Apr)Running Training: 1 (21 Apr)Language Training: 3 (19 Apr)Today I was grateful for: Stackoverflow. I have only just discovered this site, and it basically gave me the formula I needed for my budget spreadsheet. I need to check out this website more, there might be some other great nuggets around.The weather! Weather at the moment is so conducive to getting things done, and has been holding out for the majority of the week. I hope it holds out for another week so I can get back on track with my running, and not get sick at the same time!Today I learned: That old consoles, while I knew were collected by some people, are astronomically expensive. Some of them are worth the same as modern Xboxes. That's crazy. I wonder if investors see it as a legitimate area for them, or if because there are so many variables to keep them working that it isn't seen as feasible.Goals completed today: Completed language training again. My 5 ingots is going strong.Called multiple friends to chat about random stuff. Really happy I did that, plus it meant I invested less time of messaging and staring at my phone. I have only become aware of how much this annoys me lately when people keep doing it at the dinner table, so I want to avoid it as much as possible.Drank a boatload of water, and felt a lot better this morning. Need to ensure I repeat it again today.GTD Podcast. It was about the "Black Belt GTD". To be honest didn't really like it, but I was trying to work at the same time so maybe I need to listen to it again without distractions.Created a list in my budget spreadsheet of what functions or reports I would like, which should shape my goal of inserting one per day.Goals I didn't complete today: Prioritise my goals. Did have a quick chat with my coach after I gave him the results of an Emotional Intelligence survey I did a few weeks ago, and I promised I would sit down and go through it in detail with my goals on Friday.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Call a friend or family member. Reached out to some friends to line up a phone conversation but they didn't respond.Did not drink enough water, did not drink 500ml as soon as I woke up.GTD podcast. Didn't have the opportunity to disconnect from my environment and listen to a podcast due to work. Submit my second discussion point.Drink 500ml of water as soon as I wake up.Goals for tomorrow: Maintain language streak. I have 5 ingots riding on this.Drink 500ml of water as soon as I wake up.Submit my second discussion point.Work on my assignment.Rebuild running training streak.GTD Tip for tomorrow: Full screen my word editor and set all devices to 'do not disturb' to focus on study. It takes 20 minutes (I think) to rebuild focus after being distracted, so aim to remove the distractions.Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Submit both my tertiary study assignments. (1/2 of first one completed!)Add a budget function every day. Add 10 transactions a day.Keep my spending under $100 for the week. (spent $30 so far)Get a haircut!Clear out all game accessories in the shed.Try to talk to my leadership coach. Prioritise my goals.
  6. 21 Apr 17. Dehydrated again today. I thought I would overcome this today as I drank a boatload of water yesterday, but obviously not enough. I need to work on this some more, as it makes it harder to think and concentrate on things like this journal! Yesterday was interesting, as Starcraft was released for free. Spent the afternoon reminiscing about all the old sound bytes of the units, which funny at the time, I regret now. I had a little bit of preoccupation for a while, and the only reason I think I moved beyond it so quickly is because I was so busy at work yesterday. I am thankful for that long working day, as if I was at home there would be a risk that I would want to fire it up and play a few rounds. I will have to keep an eye on this. I didn't find out from any gaming forums or sites either, it came up in my engadget feed. I really enjoy watching what engadget is up to, but if they keep doing gaming articles that I am going to read, then I need to find an alternative technology new source. Any suggestions? Looking forward to the next 72 hours, which is really weird. Today I intend talking to my leadership coach and submitting my second discussion point online, and then the two days after that are going to be non-stop studying for my assignment due Sunday. Usually I would hate this, but I think I am excited as a way to prevent from playing games for another two days as I really don't have time to play them, and usually I would use them in my breaks, which would result in no study being done. Days: Game Free: 4 (17 Apr)Facebook Free: 4 (17 Apr)Alcohol Free: 3 (18 Apr)Running Training: 0 (Break 19 Apr)Language Training: 2 (19 Apr)Today I was grateful for: The long day at work, which handcuffed me from doing anyhing gaming-related, and forced me to stay focused on work. I'd rather be focused on my study, but beggars can't be choosers.Today I learned: That the app I am using to stay productive and keep my mind on track - Wunderlist - is being axed by Microsoft. Devastated.Goals completed today: Maintained language training, establishing my first streak for the year! Doing it at lunch time is definitely the right choice.Managed to start reading again. Did one chapter of Buddhism for Dummies and one chapter of Karl Pilkington's latest book.Goals I didn't complete today: Prioritise my goals. Did have a quick chat with my coach after I gave him the results of an Emotional Intelligence survey I did a few weeks ago, and I promised I would sit down and go through it in detail with my goals on Friday.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Call a friend or family member. Reached out to some friends to line up a phone conversation but they didn't respond.Did not drink enough water, did not drink 500ml as soon as I woke up.GTD podcast. Didn't have the opportunity to disconnect from my environment and listen to a podcast due to work. Goals for tomorrow: Maintain language streak. I have 5 ingots riding on this.Listen to a GTD podcast. Write down the tool of the day and include it in my next journal entry in order to implement into my routine.Drink 500ml of water as soon as I wake up.Drink more water and less tea during the day!Call a friend or family member.Talk to my leadership coach.Submit my second discussion point.Create a list in my budget spreadsheet of what functions or reports I would like, which should shape my goal of inserting one per day.GTD Tip for tomorrow: Go back to drinking a lot more water (again).Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Submit both my tertiary study assignments. (1/2 of first one completed!)Add a budget function every day. Add 10 transactions a day. (have hit a snag on the function front, consider asking gamequitters for help)Keep my spending under $100 for the week. (spent $30 so far)Get a haircut!Clear out all game accessories in the shed.Try to talk to my leadership coach.
  7. I was feeling really good and relaxed, which Cam totally nailed in his relapse video on a cause for relapsing. I was happy about what I had achieved during the week and how I had managed to get my streak to 22 days, combined with having 4 days off that I knew I was going to spend the majority of studying and getting back on track (which I didn't). Alcohol helped that though, so I am working on cutting that down now as well. Will do! Couldn't get it to work last night, I'll try again today.
  8. 20 Apr 17. Here we are, 3 days into the constant journal entries. I am not feeling great today though, which I think is because I am really dehydrated. I was feeling a little bit "off" last night, and this morning I have that hangover headache, so I obviously didn't drink enough water yesterday. It is kind of obvious though, since I did two days of big runs in a row, and I have been teaching so much that I haven't had opportunities to drink water. I haven't been following the GTD tip of drinking 500ml of water as soon as I wake up either, I did it for a few days but then stopped, even with putting in slices of lime. Time to get back on that wagon. Made a conscious decision not to go for a run yesterday, not because I was too lazy or just cbf, but because I prioritised it out. Rather than taking of the perspective of "not enough time in the day" which I used to take, I am trying to take the mindset of there is 24 hours in the day, I just need to prioritise what is important enough to get completed. Knowing that today is a 14 hour work day for me, and that my study situation is reaching crisis point, I decided to spend all of last night after work studying. It was somewhat successful, as I managed to submit my first discussion point for this week, I have one more discussion point to do tomorrow, and then my assignment is due Sunday. I am quite thankful for this journey right now, as if I was gaming on top of this in my "breaks" (a 10 minute break usually turns into a 2 hour break because I just have to finish the level....) would have either made this impossible, or rushed. I am starting to get very interested in the content of this subject, which I found initially as overwhelming due to being an entirely new topic. Tried to think of something else I could do on my self improvement journey that I could substitute the running for, and all the discussions of Duolingo came to mind. So I fired it up in my lunch break and powered through a couple of lessons, probably the first time in six months or more. I think I have opened the Duolingo app for the first time on my new phone, which I bought in about Octoberish last year. It's just been sitting there staring at me from my home screen for that long. Anyway, I was quite surprised how much I remembered. I had to start at the basics level because all the bars were empty (no surprise there), and within 2 attempts at the assessment I was at 100%. Not bad! That bagged me 20 xp, and that was the extent of my motivation for it. I am amazed that Schwing and the team smash out 50 xp per day, that's some serious effort. Maybe I will work up to that, but I am happy with 20 xp at the moment. I did bet 5 ingots on the 7 day streak, hopefully that will give me some motivation to keep working on it. Did a bit of research into existentialism after Cam's tweet earlier in the week. I assumed it might have been some kind of self-improvement belief or philosophy, but it was quite full on. I don't think I am onboard with it at all, but that being said all I have done is read the wikipedia page and watched a 5 minute intro video on youtube. The tools that Buddhism has provided me on controlling my emotions (read: anger) are too valuable to deviate from. Not entirely sure if I will allocate time to this journal over the next 4 days as I work on my studies which is quite urgent, and completely my own creation, but I will endeavour to use it as a break. I found some really good journals and/or introduction posts which are great, Egon and MegaTiny, so I look forward to tracking those as well, but I need to be careful not to spend too much time trawling the forums! I get addicted to things way too easily. I thought it might be a personality type that results in people getting addicted easily, but my Meyers-Briggs test and personality type is the total opposite of Cam's, so maybe there is no typical type. Days: Game Free: 3 (17 Apr)Facebook Free: 3 (17 Apr)Alcohol Free: 2 (18 Apr)Running Training: 0 (Break 19 Apr)Language Training: 1 (19 Apr)Today I was grateful for: The relapse I had last Friday. Sounds weird I know! But the relapse jolted me into my current self improvement spree which I think is going to get me across the line with my study deadlines in the next 4 days (or rather I hope that it does). I know this stress is self-created by not studying as much as I should in the preceding weeks, but the horse has bolted, now the focus is about recovering, and I am grateful for my current mindset which I can contribute to the guilt of preoccupation the day after the relapse.Today I learned: The only thing I can think of is relating to my studies. I will reflect on this more today, surely there is something I have learned, but just can't think of it right now. Disappointed with this.Goals completed today: Submitted discussion point #1 to the forums of my study. Really happy with the product, which is a surprise, usually I am unhappy with my study efforts.3 daily entries in a row! Also have established getting up early into my routine, I am completing a lot of tasks in that extra hour in the morning just like GTD said I would. Need to stop questioning so much.Started language training again! Focus is to build the habit rather to go hard too early.Meditated in my hammock for a few minutes over lunch with a cup of tea. Need to build on this but it was very enjoyable.Goals I didn't complete today: Did not hit the pool to stretch out. I did think about it, but the effort required to get to the pool and clean up afterwards I thought could be better spent on my studies, which I think it was.Prioritise my goals. Did have a quick chat with my coach after I gave him the results of an Emotional Intelligence survey I did a few weeks ago, and I promised I would sit down and go through it in detail with my goals on Friday.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Goals for tomorrow: Maintain language streak. The extended working day means my goal options are limited.Listen to a GTD podcast. Write down the tool of the day and include it in my next journal entry in order to implement into my routine.Drink 500ml of water as soon as I wake up.Drink more water and less tea during the day!Call a friend or family member.GTD Tip for tomorrow: Go back to drinking a lot more water.Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Submit both my tertiary study assignments. (1/2 of first one completed!)Add a budget function every day. Add 10 transactions a day. (have hit a snag on the function front, consider asking gamequitters for help)Keep my spending under $100 for the week. (spent $25 so far)Get a haircut!Clear out all game accessories in the shed.Try to talk to my leadership coach.
  9. Welcome to the forums mate! You've come to the right place. And it's good to see another Aussie here, we should start a coup Be careful with the social gaming at your friends house, specifically the preoccupation which might follow. I tried that method as well, but then I would spend days in the lead up or afterwards just non stop thinking about the game(s) and some strategies how I could kick ass next time. So much productivity lost for a few hours of laughs. Initially it might work, but in the long run you're probably going to want to build different hobbies with your friends or different things to talk about. You might be surprised about how wide the interests of your friends are, I know I sure was when I started declining talking about games. We walk among some seriously intelligent people who have so much to offer.
  10. This is huge. I still can't bring myself to do it and I don't know why, so to go the full monty on day 1 is amazing. Massive amounts of respect for you. Look at the 700gb from a different perspective; to quote Will Farrell, now you have so much room for activities! Build your own file server, stock up on your favourite TV shows, try out a bunch of new productivity apps. New hobbies await!
  11. Thanks mate! It's been a crazy few weeks from so many angles but I really have felt (or at least the last few entries) that it has really helped me stay centered and focused by writing it all down. I was always against journals when I was younger, probably because I thought I was invincible, but now I see it as a great outlet, which is great, since gaming is generally the outlet of choice. Good luck on your journey!
  12. 19 Apr 17. So here we are, two days in a row making a journal entry. First time since Day 13 on 5th April. I guess it isn't that long ago, but it feels like eons ago. Yesterday was really good, I think waking up early to get my entry out of the way ticked off a to do item in my habit tracker straight away. Not sure if it correlates or not, but I coming only 2 tasks short of ticking every single target on my habit tracker, the only 2 I missed was read and language training. I spent my night reading journals for my study so didn't leave any time to read for my own enjoyment. I will try to jam it in today. I didn't get any language training done, like many others here I have Duolingo that I have been trying to use. I used it quite heavily last year but this year I haven't touched it at all, and I was not interested in getting to it last night. Maybe that is another task I need to do in the morning. Woke up early again today this morning. Wanted to see if I could get it done for a few days in a row. Lets see if I have a good day again today, but I am feeling a lot more tired than yesterday, but that may be more as a result of cutting my sleep down from 8 hours to 6.5 hours. Preoccupation has not come back at all, I am very happy with that. I think it is because I forced myself to be so productive as punishment for myself over the weekend that it pushed games out of my mind, at least for a little while. I think it is having an effect on my wife though, as our relationship isn't great at the moment. I think (or at least, I hope) we are just going through a stressful few weeks (or at this point it is more likely to be closer to a month) and can bounce back when it is all over. Days: Game Free: 2 (17Apr)Facebook Free: 2 (17Apr)Alcohol Free: 1 (18Apr)Running Training: 2 (17Apr)Today I was grateful for: The flexibility of my job, which allowed me to go run a personal errand in the afternoon without any impact. I still have a boatload of work to do, but I'll never get to the end of that pile anyway.Today I learned: "What's Another Perspective?" It was the topic of the Affirmation Pod by Jusie Ong. I didn't think it was that helpful at the time, but once I got to work and was presented the first problem, it came to mind straight away. So I asked that of my team, and surprisingly I think I defused the situation. It may have been nothing more than a laugh, but it least it let them pause for a second and realise their issue was not as big as they thought.That I am so conditioned now to listening to podcasts at 2x speed that when I went back to normal speed to play a podcast to someone else (Steve Austin's), it sounded like everyone was drunk and I couldn't stand it.Goals completed today: Started a discussion point. I wanted to get it submitted last night but ran out of time. Really want to put it in today to get rid of some stress.Did 2 daily journal entries in a row! Boom.Woke up early 2 days in a row.Skipped the rest day and ran 6km. Though didn't realise the interval training had extended out to 4minutes before I could rest, which wrecked me.Goals I didn't complete today: Did not start my discussion paper. Prioritise my goals. Have not talked to my coach for two weeks.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Meditate in the hammock.Goals for tomorrow: Submit a discussion point. Try to either start a second one or do a bit more studying.Kick start a duolingo streak.Hit the pool to stretch out after my 2 days of running. Couldn't even stand up last night.Meditate in the hammock.Clear out all game accessories in the shed.Try to talk to my leadership coach.GTD Tip for tomorrow: Use Do Not Disturb mode on my phone a lot more, or leave my phone by my bed for a while to break the "must always have it" syndrome.Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Submit both my tertiary study assignments.Add a budget function every day. Add 10 transactions a day.Keep my spending under $100 for the week.Get a haircut!
  13. Hilarious title! I'll add it to my list.
  14. While i am proud of going the longest without games that I have in probably a decade, I relapsed on Friday. I spent about 2 hours playing games. The weird thing is I don't regret playing games again, but what I do regret is the frustrating preoccupation that has followed ever since. This, I think, is my main problem. I can't do things in halves, I'm an all or nothing type of guy, boots and all. Started dreaming about it, getting annoyed that people were talking to me about things other than gaming, etc etc. I think maybe Cam is right (well, no maybe there lol), a relapse might really underline why I was addicted in the first place. Because my brain loves to go all in on something, no matter what it is. It might be a sign of bad willpower? Allowing myself to do that or fall to that. Anyway, I am definitely stronger than what I was before I started trying the 90 day detox, but not as strong as I thought I was. Bag onto the bandwagon, though it is depressing to see that days-free counter reset to zero. Ho hum.
  15. Buddhism for Beginners by Thubten Chodron. It is a book that is basically a "FAQ". Each chapter poses a question about Buddhism and their beliefs or concepts, then spends the rest of the chapter explaining it in basic terms that anyone can understand. Thoroughly enjoyed it, and it could be a good read for even non-Buddhists if you are curious about what they believe in. All it did for me was cause me to want to know more and study more about it. It talks about meditation and calming techniques which might be useful for people in this forum.
  16. You are inspiring Mhyrion! I am glad to hear you had a great weekend. The great thing about Easter weekend is the following week isn't as long - thats something to look forward to!
  17. Welcome mate! You have come to the right place and I look forward to seeing you progress on your chosen path!
  18. So I've been putting off this journal entry for a while. It's been 7 days since my last entry, which would make it about day 25. Except it's not.... because I relapsed on Friday. So I managed to make it to 22 days in total. I had a few beers with my work colleagues to celebrate Easter (or surviving to get to Easter!), and when I got home I had the house to myself... with the prospect of 4 days off... so plenty of time to do whatever I wanted.... I don't regret playing games on Friday at all, because I have felt so stressed lately that I have felt on the verge of breaking. So much so that I have a meeting with my boss today to talk about some of it. A combination of my son being in hospital, the wife being sick, then I caught their virus, too much work, not having much money, and falling further and further behind on my study. But what I do regret is the preoccupation that occurred in the aftermath. This has always been the source of my problems, is that I struggle to think of anything else other than games. So I started dreaming about them again, I started thinking about them again for the majority of the day, and it began impacting my productivity and self-improvement. I can see now about all those 'connections' in your brain (cannot remember if that is the exact terminology) are/can be reset after 90 days and why it is so important. I thought about hiding it from Gamequitters.com for a while, and had a mental struggle as a result over it, which is another contributing factor of why I have been avoiding this entry. In the end though, I decided there was no point, as all I would be doing is hiding it from myself. Plus is defeats the whole point that I am here on this site - to hold myself accountable, and to get the help of other people to hold myself accountable. I wonder if I had an accountability partner if there might have been a different outcome? Who knows. I couldn't stop thinking about Myhrion's comment of of me not relapsing during the hospital stint, and how I now wasn't doing a good job. I felt so bad. Did think about sending her a message but convinced myself no; you're just feeling sorry for yourself. Suck it up. Sometimes you disappoint people. So... how do I recover from this? I am looking at this as a learning experience. As something to propel me forward and make me a better person as a result. That old saying that I quiet often use at work - 'it is not about the mistakes you made, but how you recover from them'. I was so annoyed with my preoccupation over the Easter weekend that I forced myself to stay productive or constructive all weekend, with no exceptions. I did manage to get quite a lot done; I finally cleaned out the garage and can now get our car into the garage. That was a job that was waiting to be done for 4 months but I had been too busy gaming or other. Very happy with how it is now, except I scratched the car quite badly driving into it. I was devastated. More money I am going to have to spend now to get that fixed. I am glad that it was me that did it though and not my wife, as now I can only get angry at myself, and I am angry at myself anyway. I also did quite a log of gardening. I cleaned our patio so now its usable, and planted a few plants in pots; lime tree, lemon tree, feijoa tree, mint, basil, thyme, aloe vera, passionfruit and carrots. I also set up my hammock in the middle of all the plants after finding it in the shed. I am going to use it as my new meditation zone, and endeavour to spend time sitting out there and recenter myself when I have any urges again, or if I can't control my emotions. I am looking forward to it. I might sit out there and listen to some podcasts as well with a cup of tea, or some affirmations in the morning. The possibilities are great. I did some more reading, finishing the Buddhism for Beginners book. I am tempted to read it again to really get some of the concepts to sink into my head, but the other part of me thinks there are plenty more Buddhism books out there that I could and should read to help with that, to ensure that I get multiple points of view. It definitely is a way of life for me, but I think I have fallen off the path in the last few months as I have not had the time to read or practice it. I need to get back into this. So, I have started using a habit tracker now to try and force myself to do at least a little every day, even if that is only reading a paragraph or two. What else did I do... I set up a new budget spreadsheet to make it easier to track my spending. I used to keep track of it all by a spreadsheet but it was so unwieldy because I was trying to get so much information from it. I jumped to using apps over the last year or so, but a combination of apps not doing exactly what I was after and some failing entirely, taking all my data with it, means I am back giving spreadsheets some serious consideration. I have a new idea now though, I do want there to be only one spot to enter my spending and the rest of the sheets to auto-fill, no matter how complicated that is. So I am using drop down boxes of lists to break everything down, and keeping the data entry sheet as basic as possible. It is looking good so far, I have a few pie graphs. Next step will start rebuilding the 'forecasts' that I used to have, that would show how much money it thinks you will spend in a week/month/year - it was very humbling and checked a lot of my spending. Anyway this will be a massive project as I have to start from scratch again but I hope to do a little each day. Heck I might even find my old spreadsheet, which would be good, as it would be a great source of data. But what I didn't do, was study! This week is now going to be stressful as a result. I have two assignments due now, both by the end of this week, so it is going to be a lot of work. But, I have to suck it up and work on it. I think it is achievable, I am really enjoying the content of the course, which is a refreshing change from the previous courses I have done, but it just needs large chunks of time to get through the reading. I have noticed how the readings are impacting my daily conversations and life, and I now have more stuff to talk to other people about, which I am thankful for. No more grasping at straws because all I had was games to talk about. So, with that "bullshit off my brain" as Steve Austin would say, my usual big points of my journal: Days: Game Free: 1 (17Apr)Facebook Free: 1 (17Apr)Alcohol Free: 0 (18Apr)Running Training: 1 (17Apr)Today I was grateful for: Wunderlist. I have begun investing more time into getting my life organised on this app, and I think it is returning wonders. I try to write everything and anything down as I usually have random thoughts during the day. It lets me to keep on thinking and doing my usual daily tasks, without losing any time or stressing later trying to remember things. It is quite easy to enter small tasks on my phone when I carry it around and then pull them up on my computer later and add notes or extra detail.Today I learned: Extentialism. Cam tweeted about an article where they said that Extentialism, NoFap and Gamequitters should join forces as they have all got similar aims. It sounds exactly what I am trying to do, so I definitely need to do some reading about it. I listened to the Sober Guy's podcast with Cam as well, which he described the story of Joe (I think it was) who used his daughter as motivation to give up gaming as he used to get angry when he had to pause his game all the time to look after her. This is the source of why I wanted to give up with my son.Goals completed today: Spent a lot of time reflecting and I think I have had an improved effort to stay centered after the Friday relapse. I feel a lot better as a result.Did a lot of handyman work around the house, so now I should have some well earned brownie points with the wife (haha).Goals I didn't complete today: Did not start my discussion paper. There is not enough time in the day. I am going to have to start cutting back on sleep to get on with this. I am on the verge of failing unless I get this under control.Prioritise my goals. Have not talked to my coach for two weeks.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Goals for tomorrow: Submit at least one discussion point to the online forum.String together 2 daily journal entries in a row, I think I have only achieved this once or twice.String together 2 days that I got up early to get some stuff done in the quiet hours.Skip the rest day; run again. You need to.Meditate in the hammock.GTD Tip for tomorrow: I woke up an hour early to work on this journal. That was a GTD tip that they do with their writing, wake up early so there are no distractions. I think it has been effective.Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Submit both my tertiary study assignments.Add a budget function every day. Add 10 transactions a day.Keep my spending under $100 for the week.Get a haircut! I definitely feel better now. Thanks team.
  19. I find it is a good outlet to talk about like minded people and learn some of their coping mechanisms with not just game addiction, but life in general. I don't think you will be disappointed!
  20. Day ?? Maybe 19. So to be honest, I am not entirely sure what day I am up to now. There has been a big gap since I last wrote an entry and it has been a whirlwind period. Long story short, when I picked my son up from childcare on Thursday he had a swollen face, so I took him to a couple of doctors before finally being admitted to the hospital for three days in order to get antibiotics via drip. That was a harrowing experience that I do not want to go through again, but I am sure I will. My wife also had a bout of gastro, which I then caught on the weekend and am still trying to shake. Has not been a good run for us in the health department. On top of that I have had a very busy few days at work. Feels like I have not had a chance to sit down and have a few moments to myself and contemplate things for a week. As a result my studies are suffering badly and my performance at work isn't exactly something that I am proud of lately, I have become quite short with people with problems at the moment. Not a sign of a great leader. I hope the stress will lift once I get back up to date with my studies, though I have absolutely no idea how I am going to achieve that in the next two weeks. Probably by not sleeping. The silver lining in this cloud I guess is I haven't had much time to play games. I did think about it a few times when I was really down on the weekend but managed to keep myself distracted enough that they passed. I guess if I still valued them highly I would use what little time I have and waste it on them. Need to use my scraps of time to stay focused and centered, and then relax a bit more when this stressful period passes. Today I was grateful for: The leadership training that work is springing for. Conducted another survey/reflection today and my self-awareness and emotional intelligence is through the roof compared to 2+ years ago. This is helping on many different levels.Today I learned: That everyone seems to have the same gripes and concerns no matter how experienced or far along they are in their careers. I am quite surprised by this because I figure they would be a bit more proactive after being in the organisation for a while. I am obviously mistaken.Goals completed today: I have turned off the majority of notifications on my phone now. I need to finish going through and disabling the last few. It was also an opportunity to clean out some apps that I don't use anymore, with the aim of holding onto my phone a bit longer. I find I am a lot less distracted without the notifications, which is the whole aim.Restarted running after having almost a week off due to spending all my time in the hospital. Was really hard going but reminded me of why I am doing it, and made me realise I think running is the outlet I have been craving for a while.Goals I didn't complete today: Did not start my discussion paper. There is not enough time in the day. I am going to have to start cutting back on sleep to get on with this.Prioritise my goals. Have not talked to my coach for over a week.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Goals for tomorrow: I am away with work for a few days, so find time to reflect and stay centered.Not just start my discussion paper, but I have to submit it or I will probably fail.GTD Tip for tomorrow: Read more about mind mapping. This sounds weird but interesting.Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Do some handyman work around the house that the wife has been telling me about for weeks.
  21. Welcome mate! You have come to the right place.
  22. I'm still here! It has been a whirlwind four or so days since my last entry, which has included 2 doctors and 3 hospital visits. Family is not having a good run of health at the moment! On the bright side is that my son should get out of hospital tomorrow. At least it hasn't dampened his spirits! Had a couple of urges to play the last few days as I kept thinking "I just need a break, GameQuitters would understand" but so far have not relapsed!
  23. What sucked about it? I really want to visit a Buddhist centre or temple. They look like calming places you can centre yourself, filled with unassuming people.
  24. Day 13. Unlucky number 13; if you're superstitious I guess! Today was very uneventful, but very busy. The work day was a blur, but it wasn't bad. One day closer to the weekend! I only have one more day of instructing and then it's back to my normal duties, which have been piling up. Last year I would have been stressed out about it and start working overtime to catch up, but this year I refuse to overwork myself, which is how I got anxiety in the first place. My memory is still very bad, but at least now I can have conversations with people for longer than 15 seconds without trying to say things like my own name. The "GTD" podcast by Asian efficiency today was interesting. They discussed a few apps to track your workflow and to do list. They were To.do and omni-something. I think I will stick to Wunderlist for now, it seems to work for me, even if it is a simple to do list that I can share with people. Still hunting for an expense tracker app or website so I can monitor my spending more efficiently - cannot seem to find a decent one at all. I get so frustrated that it shouldn't be this hard and give up, only to be reminded of how I want one when my credit card bill arrives. I could have identified a great market/opportunity to write or create a tool myself; but I just don't have time. I guess I will need to try and set up my spreadsheet again, unless someone have a good recommendation? Today I was grateful for: Today I learned: That in the age of politically correctness, that we have lost a lot of freedom to do fun activities or be spontaneous, because we are so risk adverse.Goals completed today: Implemented drinking 2 cups of water as soon as I wake up. I don't really feel like it made that much of a difference to be honest.Managed to not send any angry e-mails. Instead just walked away and returned later. I need to do this more often.Did one set of knee pushups today. My shoulder held up quite well, starting to build confidence in it. It is definitely mostly a mental challenge. Interesting to see how my shoulder feels tomorrow.Goals I didn't complete today: Did not start my discussion paper. By the time I finish exercising and cleaning up after dinner I am on this site and too tired to concentrate.Prioritise my goals to use my limited time to focus on the ones that are important. I really need to do this, but I need my wife's support. Maybe on the weekend.Goals for tomorrow: Wake up at least an hour early to find some references my lecturer said I should read.Start my discussion paper!Stay game free! It will make it two weeks!Place all my game accessories and hardware in a box and place in the shed.GTD Tip for tomorrow: Turn off push notifications on my phone for at least e-mail.Goals for this week: Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Do some handyman work around the house that the wife has been telling me about for weeks.
  25. Welcome mate! I highly recommend exercise, whether that is just slow walk listening to an interesting podcast. That's what I have been using as a new hobby and I feel so much better for it. Plus it really makes you appreciate your surroundings, I've discovered a beach and a park near my house I never knew existed which are really nice.
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