KevinV1990

It is not pathetic that you still need the videos. There are so many triggers in this world that can remind you of gaming, and that is why I think that it is one of the hardest addictions to get rid off (maybe I am biased, but who cares? ). I'd rather watch a video every day that will help me, than that I will relapse.

Het viel mij eigenlijk op, hoe weinig journals er in een andere taal worden geschreven. Dus aangezien ik toch liever in het Nederlands schrijf, leek het mij leuk om er een Nederlandse journal naast mijn Engelse te beginnen.

Dag -5317: Laten we beginnen bij het begin Om mijn Nederlandse journal te beginnen, is het slim om bij het begin te beginnen. Voor het gemak pak ik dan 1 september 2012 als de begindatum van mijn gameverslaving, de dag dat de middelbare school voor mij begon. Alles was nieuw. Nieuwe kinderen, nieuwe leraren, maar ook nieuwe omstandigheden waar ik nooit eerder mee te maken had gehad. Net voor de brugklas begon ik last te krijgen van acne, iets wat naarmate de tijd vorderde, ook steeds heviger werd. De middelbare school zou de middelbare school niet zijn, als ik daar niet mee werd gepest. Voor die tijd werd ik nooit gepest. Natuurlijk waren er wel eens ruzietjes, en zo nu en dan een vechtpartijtje, maar met pesten had ik nooit te maken gehad. Het vreemde was echter wel dat vrienden die ik had van de basisschool, de mensen waar je dus eigenlijk een beetje op rekende, mee gingen doen aan dat pesten. Het heeft ervoor gezorgd dat mijn vertrouwen in mensen steeds minder werd, iets waar ik vandaag de dag nog steeds de problemen van ondervind. Er was denk ik één iemand die ik echt mijn vriend kon noemen (op de middelbare school), en diegene had ook nog eens een Playstation 1 thuis staan. Zelf had ik de Nintendo 64 en de Sega Mastersystem II thuis staan, en hoewel ik daar graag een spelletje op speelde, deed ik dat niet erg vaak. Wat ik in die tijd al wel vaak deed, was het spelen van Pokémon Gold op de Gameboy Color. Het leuke daaraan was vooral dat heel veel mensen in de buurt de Pokémon games speelden, dus we zaten vaak met een hele groep in het trappenhuis, of bij lekker weer buiten. Dan zaten we met zijn allen Pokémon te spelen. Doordat ik echter games als Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy IX en Dragon Ball Final Bout speelde bij die vriend, wilde ik al snel ook een Playstation hebben. Het heeft nog een tijdje geduurd voordat we er één in huis kregen, maar vanaf die dag begon ik veel meer te gamen. Final Fantasy VIII was de game waar het allemaal om draaide. Het was echter aan het eind van 2004 dat ik echt verslaafd begon te raken aan gamen. School ging al niet geweldig, en toen gingen we voor de zomer ook nog eens verhuizen. Hoewel het niet echt ver was van mijn oude buurt, begon ik mijn vrienden toch een beetje uit het oog te verliezen. Ik zonderde me steeds meer af, zeker toen ik voor mijn verjaardag een Playstation 2 kreeg. De Playstation 2 was voor mij echt de console waar het allemaal om draaide, er waren zoveel goede games te krijgen, en tweedehands kon je zelfs pareltjes tegenkomen die echt niemand had. Ik denk dat ik zo'n beetje elke goede game die er in Nederland te krijgen was voor de PS2, op een gegeven moment wel had. Uiteindelijk ben ik op school afgezakt van VWO naar VMBO-TL, iets wat niet alleen kwam door mijn gameverslaving (ik heb namelijk een bepaalde mening over het onderwijs in Nederland), maar het had er een groot aandeel in. Op het moment dat ik mijn diploma haalde, hoopte ik op een nieuwe start op mijn nieuwe MBO opleiding, Marketing & Communicatie. Wat kwam ik bedrogen thuis. Er was daadwerkelijk geen verschil tussen de mensen op de middelbare school, en die op het MBO. Bovenal had ik al bijna geen zelfvertrouwen meer, waardoor ik veel moeite had met het uitvoeren van sommige praktijkopdrachten. Ik stopte, en hoewel ik van plan was om via het volwassenonderwijs alsnog mijn HAVO diploma te halen, kwam hier uiteindelijk ook niets van terecht. Ondertussen was ik al 18, had geen goede opleiding, geen vrienden, geen werk, maar wel nog steeds een gameverslaving. Het zou nog wel een tijdje duren voor ik daar vanaf zou zijn. Wordt Vervolgd...

I really like the whale shark. You actually like that thing? You high or something hahahahaha Hahaha... Nah, withdrawal symptoms I think

I really like the whale shark.

I started to workout more, which is probably the biggest improvement of not touch a game the past weeks. I am also writing stories, doing a creative writing course, reading a lot of books, and I am writing articles for my site.

March 22, 2017 (13 days without gaming) Tomorrow I achieve another goal: Two weeks without playing a videogame. Time for another party! I wasn't planning on not playing videogames at all to be honest, wanted to play during the weekends, but I just don't feel like playing. There are other things which I want to do, and which need to be done. So why should I turn on my Playstation 4?I got kind of irritated this morning. A little backstory: When I lost my job when the economic crisis just started (2009), I couldn't pay my health insurance anymore, so I build up a debt. Paid it off today, but because the government agency isn't doing their job right, it isn't over yet. I really want to send them an angry letter again, but I know that it wouldn't help, so I am not going to do that. I just hoped that I could leave that part of my history behind me after today. But no, it will take some more calls to do so.Because I am quite irritated, I decided to make a list about the things, which make this day a good day. 1. Received my paycheck today, which was higher than I expected. 2. The weather outside is great. 3. I went running today, and I just feel my overall condition getting better again.Thinking about what needs to be the biggest priority in my life. I still want to write a book, which is one of the biggest dreams that I have. But I also want to write for my website, I want to create another website, I need to find a better job, and I want to finish my creative writing course. So many things I want and that I need to do, but which one is the biggest priority?

Maybe it is because of the weather that the cravings get stronger. Stay strong!☺

Thanks for this post. Some of the tips I already knew, but I will implement the ones that I didn't used, so I will be getting even more productive.

March 20, 2017 11th day of my gaming detox, and it gets kind of boring, but also confronting to see how easy I cope with it. Maybe I hoped that it would be more of a challenge, because it would have made sense to why I screwed up so much off my life so far. As it isn't very hard for me not to game, I really wonder why the f*** I didn't do this before. Ever since the 10th of March, I have done so many things, and I have made plans for now and for the future. I just hope that it is not too late.Today I finished my homework for the Creative Writing course that I am following, which I wanted/needed to do yesterday. So I will have to come up with some consequences for me not finishing my homework, when I should have done it. If you have an idea, then please let me know .In between the things that I need to do, I am watching a lot of motivational videos recently, as they really help me to get motivated for the important things.Note to myself: I need to buy a schedule book, since I don't seem to pay attention to the app which I've installed on my phone.Watched Skyfall yesterday for the first time. I know... why didn't I watched it before? The answer to that is quite easy to be honest: I hate the theme song, since I don't like Adele. But I have a question: Is there a real Bond girl in this movie? Naomie Harris and Bérénice Marlohe didn't really play a big part in the story, at least not as big as Eva Green and Olga Kurylenko did. But at the end of the movie I came up with another question: Was Judi Dench the real Bond girl/woman in this movie? Let me know what you think about it.

Hi! I also think that creating a journal will help a lot with reflecting on your situation, so you can see when the craving increases and decreases. I just tell my cravings to get lost .

Keep writing then if it helps, write as long as you need to, until you don't have the cravings to play anymore.

Congrats on the 30 days! It also is a good things that you have set your goals, since it gives you something to work for. I think that working out is probably one of the best ways to help you get rid of your gaming addiction. You will notice yourself getting better at it every day, even though it can hurt sometimes (dealing with that now ). In that way it has much similarities with getting better at gaming, but working out is a healthier thing to do.

March 19, 2017 Time for another anniversary! Let's have a party everyday. This is my 10th day of not playing videogames. While I had the plan to just play for a bit this weekend, I didn't have the urge to do so. I am way too busy with making other plans, doing other things and starting new projects. It is a good thing that I am seeing that I don't really need games, to have a good time.Yesterday I watched the movie Gantz: O, a movie which has very much elements of role playing games in it. The temptation of playing a game after that movie, should have been big, but I withstood the temptation without any problems. Easy thing to do when you are tired and the only thing you want to do, is going to sleep .I decided to start a Dutch daily journal on this site too, and not because I don't want to write in English. I will keep on doing that, but if me writing in Dutch can help some more people, even if it is only one person, I think it is a good thing to do.I just thought about that I am only allowed to play games in the weekends, so if I am not playing today, I have to wait another five days. 15 days without playing a videogame sounds hard, but hey, I did not have encountered any problems the past ten days, so maybe the next five days will be just as easy.

March 18, 2017 I really need to learn how to say no to people. Had big plans for today, wanted to write and wanted to work on a new project. I had to help my sister with moving out, but I was just hired to unload the truck and bring the heavy stuff to her appartment. Before I knew it, I had been there for a long time, doing stuff which I didn't have to do. I don't mind to help, but now I couldn't work on the things that I wanted to. Well, atleast I didn't play videogames today.

It doesn't sound stupid, or I should callk myself stupid too, as I am going through the same things. I also need to get out of my comfortzone, and am doing so step by step, but it is a hard thing to do.

This a thousand times this. I realized that I was over worrying about life and writing down my feelings in this post, writing down my bed times so I dont make myself sleep deprived, and writing down a financial plan has greatly removed a lot of the stress. I'm even making a repayment plan for the debt. Good job! Remember to take it one day at a time, and I am sure that everything will work out in the future.

Let's revive this topic again . My top 5 books for now are: Orphan X by Gregg HurwitzSherlock Holmes - The Sign of Four by Sir Arthur Conan DoyleDe zoon van de verhalenverteller by Pierre Jarawan (Dutch book, don't know if it has been translated to English, but it is originally written in German)The Hundred Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared by Jonas JonassonThe Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 1/4 Years Old by Hendrik GroenIt is funny to see this list, as Stephen King is my favorite writer, but there are no books of him in my Top 5-list.

Thanks!

I think you first need to make your head completely empty. When you are only thinking about the problems that you have, you will not even have time to think about moving forward. When I am in such a mood, that I will only think about the things that are wrong in my life, I go for a walk as it helps me to clear up my mind. Working out even helps better, since you will be focussed (no matter what) on working out, you will not think about anything else than working out. So go for a run, clear up your mind, and when you get home, start to think about what you exactly want to do. Start writing your goals down, and write down what you have to do to achieve them. Do that right after you get home, don't take a shower first or something else(maybe drink some water if you need it), but grab a piece of paper and write everything down. It is easier to take action, when you know exactly what you have to do. And if you don't have the motivation to do anything, than try to listen to some motivational speeches. What can be helpful for getting rid of your Youtube addiction, is to install a parent lock on the devices which you watch Youtube on. Ask someone that you trust, and someone who will not give in when you're having a hard time, to setup the password. This way you also can't unlock the parent lock yourself. About the problems in your family I can only tell you one thing: If it is about something you can't change, try not to worry about it. It is a very hard thing to do, and I am talking out of experience, but if keep feeling bad about something you can't change, doesn't change the situation. If you have the feeling that you could do something to change the family problems, then don't wait doing it. Time flies.

I think it will stay tough to keep the gaming addiction behind you, even though you've finished the 90-days detox. Atleast you are getting more things done, which you should also see as a victory. For me it was a long way to go from gaming addiction, to gaming in moderation. That also went good for quite some time, but the last few weeks, I was affraid of relapsing. So I just decided not to game for atleast a week. Try that, maybe it will get you on the right track again. And don't feel bad about relapsing, it is hard to get rid of an addiction, not even mentioning how hard it is to make it stay away. It is a good thing that you start writing in your journal again, see it as a first step.