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Zala

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  1. #Zane You got me thinking, but I'm afraid we will have to agree to disagree on some points . I will try to do it step by step. 1. Yes, I'm from Europe, Slovenia. And I admit I don't know much about U.S. education system. There is also the language barrier, but I will try to do my best. As far as early choice goes, I don't think it's that early. When do you have to decide, what you will do with your life? When you are 18/19 years old you have to choose a field of work. There is still some wiggle room after that, but basically you have to decide on what interests you the most. Of course if you have a change of heart, you can always switch to another field, but then you will probably have to pay at least for a part of your education. When you choose a field, you have about 3/4 of obligatory subjects, the rest you can choose from same or different fields to get enough points. 2. I find it strange that in your colleges, if I understand them correctly, in the same building you have experts on different fields? Is that practical? Why wouldn't you allow experts from the same field to learn from one another, work together or compete? So in U.S. you basically choose quality of your teachers, when you choose your college? Or at least it seems that way, since you have a couple of prestige colleges, that everyone seems to want to visit. Or would you say that these colleges are popular but in no way different from others? 3. "What ends up happening is all that taxpayer money goes toward whatever education path they choose and certain popular fields become so flooded that not everyone can find a job in their field, JUST LIKE YOU. My solution to that issue is to not let students be paid by the government to go down whatever career path they choose. Instead, listen to this. In California we are short on doctors, from what I've heard. I've also heard that schools are offering to pay for schooling for those students aspiring to be a doctor. Now THAT makes sense." It's all a matter of perspective. You see the reward side for certain fields, I see punishment for others. If I don't have interest or ability to become a doctor, I should pay for my education? Do you really think it's just a matter of choice? I believe we have some natural abilities to do certain stuff and not others. Especially becoming a doctor, you need to have a set of skills, that I believe not many people have. And on top of that you get one of best paying jobs, at least in my country, if you manage to finish you education. On the other hand, let's say someone has great writing skills. He might be the best of the best someday. But first we punish him with college tuition. Do you think societies are always capable of defining what they need? If I play devil's advocate for a minute. Maybe no one should go for fields that they are interested in. We should let the government decide, what our country needs. If we need more welders, we should only give free education to those, that want to be welders. Basically why don't we just decide at everyone's birth, what their role in society will be. Would you want to live in a world like that? 4. I chose philosophy and comparative literature, and I wouldn't say either is or was a popular field. It's just that not everyone can get through (has ability or interest) the education in order to become a doctor for example. That doesn't mean that they want to become hairdressers, cooks, shoemakers, bakers or any other profession that would probably get them a job faster. I say let the education (lectures and exams) be free for all. Without housing, food, transport ... And if we are in desperate need of certain professions, give tuition or bonuses to those, who choose to study in those fields. It's like with smoking rule in a company I know. Those that smoke during work hours are not punished and can take brakes. But those that don't smoke during work (doesn't matter if they smoke before or after work), get a certain small money bonus with their pay. I just remembered Michael Moore visited our country and was fascinated with our free education policy. If you are interested: http://www.slovenia.si/visit/news/n/michael-moore-shooting-in-ljubljana/ Which brings me to nr. 5. 5. It's one thing to say that college is not for everyone. I agree. It's another thing to say, that college is only for those, that can afford it. Or better that have parents or family that can pay for their education. Of course if I had to pay for college and couldn't, I would start to think that maybe college is not for me. And I would probably find some other way and live a good life. It doesn't really matter. It was not really a choice I made! It's like saying life can be beautiful for people that have to wear glasses or blind people. Of course it can, but you wouldn't go around poking people in the eye or make a rule out of doing it. Do you really believe everyone that didn't go to college would make the same decision, if there were no tuition? How can you even tell if the college is the right/wrong path for you if you can't really choose it? It might be just that in our country it is very difficult to get a loan. I imagine the only way a high school graduate would get a loan is if his parents would cosign it. How did you pay for your tuition? 6. Some people succeed no matter what and against all odds. Without college, even without high school degree. But I think the majority if not all should get at least a shot at free education. Just in case we don't grow up to be Steve Jobs. If you choose not to go to college that is perfectly fine with me, but it should be a choice. Even if statistics show, that higher education doesn't mean better pay (and I don't think they do at this point), you should at least get to choose.
  2. Day 4, no gaming. But I haven't been productive either . Watched loads (probably too many) of long and short videos on different topics. I'm just trying to get through. Meanwhile time is passing me by and I'm not getting any younger. I'm trying not to get panicky, since three days are nothing compared to the time I've lost while gaming. I remember this one time I was playing Spore and got the badge for 100 hours of playing galaxy stage. And it really hit me. What I could do with that time. Learn a new language probably, do some serious reading, help another person or creature ... And Spore was a game I only played between other games, during the break, never a main game. Ok anyway, I like the whole gratitude aspect of your diaries, so here we go. 1. I'm grateful for the beginning of the new heating season. Our place in finally comfy and warm. 2. I'm grateful for my new hobby - swimming. I've played lots of sports, but swimming really helps me mute my negative inner dialogue. 3. I'm grateful for Cam and all of you guys, being active on this site and staying positive and encouraging.
  3. Thank you guys for responding. It's so nice to see that someone actually follows up on my resolution. I also feel I can be really open with you guys, which is quite liberating. Well here it is. One and a half days without gaming. Notice the s at the end . Not even phone game apps. Some short videos, one documentary during exercise on my stationary bike. Did some family meetings, random hangouts. Hopefully today I will continue my learning of html basics, which has been on pause for a couple of weeks. I'm still stuck on Game of Thrones 4, I need to finish this book and move on. I don't really like to read more than 2 or 3 books at the same time, because they usually have a different feel of things, or view of the world and I like to really get into specific view of things, if that makes sense. I had a New Year's resolution: read at least 100 books in 2015. Right now I'm at 53, so it's a long way to go. If I manage to read 4 books per week, which is doable, I should be ok . Tomorrow I will probably be more tempted to play, since I will be alone most of the time. But I really think I can do it, if I just keep myself busy. I think it's helpful to know, what triggers and worries you, it makes you more prepared, I hope. Thank you again for reading .
  4. Thank you for this lovely explanation . No no, I didn't say that. You need good, higher grates for some colleges. For example: if you want to become a doctor, a lawyer, a vet ... I think in the U.S. you can become a doctor or a lawyer in the same college? Something to do with main subjects, right? Anyway in our country the college you choose, defines subjects you can take. Basically you choose your profession, when you choose your college (or at least you limit it to a certain field). And of course some colleges are struggling to get enough students, others have too many applicants. And our education is free only if you do enough exams in the certain time period. And of course not everyone graduates. But I have to agree with you about one point. We have a lot of college graduates. And we also have (what I think is) high unemployment rate. What's crazy is that at the company, where I worked, you can't get a job, if your education is too high. If someone retires and he/she had a high school degree, I can't even compete for his/her spot. Even If I want to agree with taking a lower pay. Why? Supposedly because I would get bored or feel unappreciated. Of course you can also feel bored and unappreciated if you don't have a job, but no one cares about that! So in a way I wish I could return my college degree. I would certainly have a steady job at the moment if that were possible . But I still find your system kind of scary. At age 18 I had no money. How would I invest money that I don't have? I would probably have to take a loan even before the education starts. So basically at 18 I would already be thousands of dollars in debt. I'm sorry but I still don't think that is fair. There is a reason we help children and elderly. I think at the beginning of education you should also get some sort of help. If we value the education, doesn't it make sense to encourage everyone to go to college?
  5. Zala

    Tom's journal

    ?That sounds familiar. I don't have kids but when I visit my or my bf's family I have the same feeling. Sometimes I hear loud screaming in my head "Eat fasteeeer! Drink your juice, we need to gooooo!" It's great to hear you had a long conversation with your mom. I' m sure she appreciates that.
  6. Ahm I don't get it. In my country college is free up to a certain level. It creates some sort of a clean slate for everyone that finishes high school. You can go to college and you don't have an enormous debt when you finish it. And you don't need rich parents, just good grates in order to go to any college you like. Most students still get at least part time jobs to pay for their food, transport, housing ... That is if they don't want to stay at home and live off their parents. And we do have all sorts of scholarships for athletes etc. Of course someone pays for college in a way. But if college (in theory) means you are able to get a better paying job, why not give a bit of it back, when you succeed. It's not like when you get your first paycheck, it says 20% to all that go to college. So to sum up: I don't know what is so funny or "jackassy" about the idea of a free college. I personally find the idea of being twenty years old and in debt far more ridiculous.
  7. Awful day. Woke up, had a dream about The Sims. With emotions I usually feel, when I start playing a new game. You know excitement, joy and all that. For f. sake. I used to have exciting, imaginative dreams that brought me joy and now this? Dreaming of planting plants? All I could do today is keep myself from installing the Sims on my new laptop, they don't work on my old one. Of course I had to play another online game. Not as reward, just to distract me. Another excuse I know. Result: Eight hours of gaming, ate some soup and here is the evening. All I can do right now is promise myself to stop playing games for 90 days, starting this Saturday. Great date and I always do better on weekends since my bf is at home and we do some stuff together at least part of the time. I obviously can't keep it in moderation. I actually know a guy that smokes 3 cigarettes per day and he has been doing that for 25 years. Luckily I'm not a smoker, because I'm quite certain I would smoke 4packs a day. I'm also not a person of 2 hours of gaming per day, which would make it ok. Which would make it a "normal" hobby. But the only time I kept it as low, was when my family still had some control over what I did. Tomorrow I will go in to the local animal shelter, where I volunteer once in while. Haven't been there for a couple of months, so I'm kind of nervous about it. I promised a friend, that I will join her, just so it won't be as easy to back out. Then I will go home, clean the apartment, cook lunch and go to the library. Where I will stay till my bf comes home. Fingers crossed that is.
  8. I think this is the word I've been searching for. Be brave. I need to roll up my sleeves and confront the real world. A totally new concept for me, since many of my friends and acquaintances know me as a fearful, anxious person. I worry too much about everything! The good news is, I haven't played any games since I got up. The bad news is, I still have quite a few hours until I go to sleep. It's a cold rainy day, not much to do outside. I've been reading Game of Thrones for a couple of hours, did some housework, some job search. Small stuff basically. Actually thinking of a stupid plan. That I should keep playing games until 9th of October. Casually playing. Because the 10.10 simply sounds like a great date to remember. All-round, cute and lovely. A great day for new beginnings. Where 7.10 doesn't sound like a good enough date. That just might be the stupidest reason for sticking with my addiction. But I can already feel the excitement ... just by thinking of gaming in an hour or two.
  9. #Cam So I guess in 90 days my brain should start to work normally? Or I should be able to get excited about other things? In the meantime I probably shouldn't get to hard on myself. The video you posted is quite interesting. I think I never gave it 90 days. There are some things I consider to be a part of my personality and they might not be. I haven't considered that. We have Daring Greatly even in my native language. I just need to make that trip to the library. Will post in my diary. #Tom Thank you for your kind words. Yeah I guess the ones we love always come second to gaming. Awful thought. I've read in some book that sooner or later every addict is confronted by his family and/or friends. He needs to choose between the drug and his family/friends. And if after that confrontation he keeps using (playing), he proved, that he loves his drug more than he loves his family, friends. #Svet It's an intriguing thought this letter of yours. I will definitely give it a try. I'm so glad to have met you, I will certainly keep a close eye on you
  10. ?Reading this, I thought to myself Exactly! I remember telling my EE group that I will delete my character and leave this game, because I feel the real life is passing away. No one seemed to understand it. I guess they were still in the zombie stage, love this explanation. I have never tried to talk to anyone inside the game about playing the game. How often did you do it? I imagine some people got aggressive or at least defensive.? Already thinking of writing the goodbye letter to my EE character. I guess it would be easier to start with this game, since it no longer exists. Are there any volunteers for the first letter? Svet go ahead
  11. I would love to hear how are you doing Sidsel. I've read many stories but yours really hit me. I hope you are well.
  12. Hi everyone, it's Zala. I apologize for my grammar mistakes in advance. Second language and all of that. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm a woman and I'm 30 years old. I spend too much time playing games. I think most of you are probably younger than me, which makes me quite embarrassed. But then I do feel ashamed and guilty most of the time anyway. It's mostly due to playing games and not doing the things that I should be doing. I haven't joined a community like this before. My friends and family don't really know the extent of the problem. Anyway I have been playing games since I was about 8 years old. It wasn't much of a problem until I was like 23. A later bloomer, I guess. At that time I have finished all my college classes and exams, but still had to write my final thesis. Earth Eternal was a big obsession of mine. I was still living at home at the time, but played games for 10-14 hours per day. I got out of it and finished my thesis just before the EE game got cancelled. It was the first time I decided to quit gaming and it lasted for about three months. After I finished my thesis, I got into Sims 1, 2, 3. I tried to quit gaming dozens of times after that. No real success. About a year ago I saw Cam's Ted talk, stopped playing for about a month but then started with playing games on my phone. It just went badly from there once again. I like playing old, strategic or race games. I guess I don't mind the boring kind of games. With my new phone, phone games had a great pull. I don't like first person shooter games and don't really enjoy the social aspect of gaming. Even in EE I was a loner most of the time. At level 60+ I joined a great group, but haven't really tried to make friends there. My friends and my boyfriend don't play games. If I tell them a bit about how I think gaming has become a problem (only a bit, since I still keep lying to myself most of the time, about how gaming isn't really a problem for me), they laugh and don't really understand, how I find games so entertaining. They don't know that I have cancelled our coffee time to play games. They don't know that when we hang out, I think of how much fun I would have in a cozy room playing games. They also don't know that I get excited, if they cancel our plans for any reason, because now I won't be losing time not playing games. I've been living with my boyfriend for 5 years and just this weekend he said:
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