Tom

Nice artwork! Your friends will be happy! You did the best you could to be happy with the knowledge you had at the time. Can you forgive your old self? Can you be thankful for what you have learned? What does your mother like to do? What would you love to do together? Try making a plan with her. Being out helps a lot. When I want to connect with my father I have to drag him somewhere where there are no screens. She's probably asking herself the same question in reverse. Guilt is a terrible thing: it can make you feel unworthy and afraid to bridge the gap with those you care about. Take advantage of the Christmas atmosphere to be real with each other. You can always discuss this if you feel the time is right. Makes sense?

Day 78. I got up and started preparing for the day. Then I noticed a line of cockroaches coming in from under the French-door and into my room, collecting crumbs from under the bed. I went to ask my wife to come and see. She was hanging the clothes out to dry. She pretended she didn't hear me. I went closer. She looked at me and didn't say anything. Back into our room I noticed that the cockroaches were climbing up from a grill... but we don't have a grill there, do we? We also clean our house well and don't eat in our bedroom... Oh, I get it. A dream. Good morning. So I managed to sabotage my fool-proof alarm clock. Apparently I can just shut down the phone while it rings. No need to get up and scan the barcode I put on a shelf in the living room. Oh well. I generally wake up on my own, so I'll just treat it as "I really, really needed to sleep longer". Which is fair enough: although I get at least eight hours of sleep each night, they are fragmented by two poor children feeling unwell. Hopefully they'll get better soon. The book I'm reading, Radical Acceptance, gives some excellent advice. I'm past my initial rejection of the writing style and enjoying the wisdom within it. I started using some of its meditation and mindfulness techniques. My day was good. I'm super satisfied of the quality and quantity of my work. I spent my breaks with the family and progressed a couple of lines with the piano piece I'm studying. I like that I picked something else that makes me move and requires consistent work. It's clear that I am attracted by tasks that are regular and provide measurable growth. What makes all the difference is the purpose. It's easy to stay focused If I set my awareness on an end goal that feels meaningful. Therefore I'll keep doing alignment checks. Only I will use a simpler question. "What am I doing?" should do. I realized I lack a real motivation for studying Dutch. Because I live here is not cutting it. I'm not invested. I think I need to find a social activity that I love and where nobody speaks English. Or just a group dedicated to language learning. Gratitude journal: The colleague who was so patient to have a two hour conversation with me in Dutch.Walking in the woods when coming home tonight.Being free for weeks from long dreams where I game.

Try nuts and seeds. Plenty of good fats, magnesium and zinc.

Hi Laney, and welcome to the forum! Good luck with quitting online games. The years when I was playing a MUD were definitely the lowest point I reached. Good thing they are so far behind me. Quitting online games didn't work for me. Single-player games took their spot. Then it was just a matter of thinking "online or offline, what difference does it make..." and I picked up online games beside offline games. When stress levels rose so did my need for more frequent and longer gaming sessions. Until I had a good look at myself and shook out of it. That said, may you have a better experience! I'll be following your progress!

Day 77. Rough night and morning, with the children not feeling well. I had lower energy throughout the day. So what? I worked at a good pace, shuffling priorities around as new assignments came. I'm on track. I took my breaks either talking with family or playing the piano. Also I got to interact a bit here on Game Quitters.I struggled with my workout and still managed to break through my shoulder press and deadlift personal records. The children are feeling better now, and I anticipate spending time alone with my wife after they are asleep. Gratitude journal: Good, free training programs where all it takes is consistent effort.free-scores.comEating three warm, succulent meals every day.

Thank you for reading Joe! I always follow your journal and find it inspiring!

Well done! Make or buy a pop filter, it's a must for recordings.

100%! Have you ever listened to Antonin Dvořák - Concerto in B minor Op. 104? One of my all-time favorites!

Many of us (all?) gamed our problems away: stress, boredom, anger, depression, you name it. It's natural for these feelings to resurface when you stop taking the pill. Use them as fuel. What would change? Why? How? Try to be specific: aim small, miss small.

Nice that you got to spend time with your little brother in a meaningful way! On a day like this when you wake up drowsy try a cold shower first thing. I always do it when I'm away for work and the nights are too short. If you want to preserve water (e.g. you are training later and will have to shower anyway) try running cold water on your head. I find that the face, the back of the neck and the upper back react very well to cold. That won't work. If you increase total distance you just keep stimulating your low-twitch muscle fibers while eating up more calories. Running slightly faster has the same effect. To build muscle you need time under tension, progressive overload, and good nutrition. Try the 30-20-10 workout: it incorporates sprints and it was the program for runners I enjoyed the most. Keep in mind that your gains will be very moderate anyway. You'd better complement with some essential bodyweight exercises like push-ups, squats, pull-ups or chin-ups, dips, plank.

Day 76. An intense day as I try to get as much as I can done before the end of Friday. All is well. A child at school broke my son's glasses now that we are about to leave, so we had to put an old pair together (ironically, broken by the same child) with duct tape and superglue. This is what bothers me at the moment. He'll have to spend weeks of discomfort while he waits for his new glasses. On the flip side, this time he'll probably understand how much he depends on them and won't let anybody get near them. Gratitude journal: Modern medicine making blindness much rarer.This sketch The works of H.R. Giger.

Hey Ed, I finally caught up with your journal. Good stuff. I agree with your points, love the wishing vs deciding argument, and appreciate the fact that you use your own pictures.

Thanks Sir You are right: the habits may try to slip away. But I just won't let them. I found that being assertive is paramount. And this goes hand in hand with careful preparation. We'll all be going to visit my parents for two weeks, so what did I do? Yesterday I wrote the local powerlifting association asking for advice on where to train. If I get no answer, there's always the gym a few hundred meters from my parents's place. It's sub-optimal but it will do. I'll have my piano and lots of scores and I know exactly what pieces I want to study. We'll be taking a laptop so I can keep studying Dutch. Games? No thanks: I've got places to go, people to see. My favorite way is to wash with lava and rinse with ice. Aah, the sauna feeling!

Day 75. Today I was a bit sluggish. Well, morning was good: I helped my son get ready for school, had a hearty breakfast, and played the piano while my wife and the little one were still asleep. Then I worked until around lunch time and squeezed my workout in. I'm satisfied. As of today I'm challenging my personal records every week. This is gonna kick ass. In the afternoon I just found it harder to concentrate and took a long time to get everything I wanted done. I'm thrilled with how things are going and at the same time I really want a holiday. In hindsight I just took longer breaks during the day so I should feel more satisfied. I'll take a moment to savor the day and cut myself some slack. I find the gratitude journal helps in keeping a healthy perspective of life. So: Gratitude journal. I am fucking relentless. Once I get going there's no stopping me. I'm happy to reclaim this energy from gaming.The Mellotron. What a fantastic instrument.Sense of humor. Can't imagine a world where everybody is serious.

Oh yes. Daily cold showers for four years already.

Day 74. A day of R&R. I played piano, hung out on Game Quitters and checked out some interesting videos and articles. We had a social dinner with two other families and that was great. We are connecting more and more. Our children get along well. It's refreshing to have friendships developing. And all thanks to a dare to myself in the first days I quit gaming: go to the park and chat up some mums. Sometimes creepy is the way to go Gratitude journal: I'm truly enjoying playing music again.Having friends in the neighborhood.Cold showers blasting me back into here and now.

What did the trick wasn't volunteering (I was already doing that) but the radical change of scenery. Getting away from toxic people and situations. Best decision ever.

Problem solved

Hey, I think I know this girl I too come from a mindset of frustration, anger, disillusionment. That's one of the reasons why I can relate so much to your posts and I wouldn't skip them for anything. One day I reached the tipping point. It was the "fuck it" moment. Fuck this girl that doesn't return my feelings. Fuck this manipulative family. Fuck the wackos and the losers I surrounded myself with. Fuck this dull land of mediocrity. And above all, fuck myself for putting up with all of the above. I applied to the European Voluntary Service and was accepted. I moved to another country for six months of volunteering, all expenses paid. I had the chance to start from scratch and I did. I met friends and mentors, not to mention my wife. Many people say "your problems will follow you wherever you go" and that's true. But sometimes where you are and who you spend your time with is the problem. If your house is on fire and you can't put out the flames, get out! Now I'm not saying that's your case, in truth I have no idea, but if it is, try changing your environment. You don't necessarily have to get away, but be assertive with what belongs in your life and what doesn't. Like you are doing with drinking and gaming. Ultimately, [everything Travis wrote above]. Oh yes, on depression, drinking, etc., I stumbled upon this guy's video and damn, it's powerful. If you watch it let me know what you think.

I'm happy with Trello where I plan my actions kanban style. I wrote about it and how I use it in Florian's journal. I usually bookmark stuff on Chromium which syncs via my Google account. I tend to delete stuff from my Wishlist right away, while info on my Tech Troubleshooting can stay for years. I chose Dropbox for remote backups since it has a Linux client. Google Photos for its unlimited storage. Google Drive for files I want to see and edit from anywhere, like my training log spreadsheet, or have others access, like surveys. GitHub for code. I make regular manual backups of my hard drives with a simple rsync script. All in all I tend to keep only the essentials, with the exception of my local music collection. I also use a whiteboard for brainstorming, visualizing complex IT projects, papers I want to see (my 90 day no gaming challenge hangs there), and doodling around. Hope this helps!

Day 73. A nice day. I got to take care of my wife and spend time with the children. And I'm off to bed, my eyes are closing! Gratitude journal: I'm finding fun in a lot of things.I had a long chat with my brother.Friendly people in the street and in the shops.

Thanks Alex! Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha mixes psychology and Buddhism. The author guides you through many techniques for feeling better with yourself, drawing from Buddhist doctrine and from her personal experience as a psychotherapist. If you pick it up let me know what you think of it.

Day 72. Haha, I'm in great health again! I kept to my good habits every day, knowing that they would make the time more enjoyable. I made good progress with Radical Acceptance and I'm beginning to accept it (pun!). Sometimes the tone puts me off but the concepts are solid. Some of them are already part of my daily life while others are not. Strangely I feel more compelled about the book if I think how it could benefit my children. Right now I am the one training them for life, along with my wife and a handful of others. If I can do anything to help them be equipped for life's shitstorms to come, I shall, Today I've been around people all the time. Work, trains, home. Always in a good mood safe for maybe one hour. I started working on breaking my PRs next Monday. I didn't read The Slight Edge but, by what little I know of it, adding 2.5kg to your lifts would fit as an example. Enjoying every little victory knowing that it compounds. Gratitude journal: The postman knocking on the window when we didn't hear the doorbell.Claude Debussy's piano works. A pleasure to play, a joy to listen.Our Christmas decorations make me smile. The children love them.

That's a staple of taijiquan. Have you tried it? I found it to be the perfect complement to jujutsu.

Haha, I love doing things with my wife too but the kitchen is not a safe place! The only cooking we make together is pizza and that is because we split our roles: I make the dough, she takes care of the toppings. Everything else leads to dynamics much similar to yours. Good luck!