Tom

Days 142, 143. Good days. I definitely caught something so I'm not at peak performance. Friday I was tempted to take a sick day, then I thought: there's so much I have to do, and I like doing it. What would I do instead? Read, watch something... Whatever. I worked from my bed and got a lot done. Pats on the back for skipping weight training: no point in taxing my body any further. My wife encouraged me to start playing in a band again. She's right: I miss it and it's good for me. This time I want to play hard rock and metal, so I'll brush up my guitar skills rather than playing the keyboards like always. Today I went to a friend to celebrate his birthday, with my wife and kids. We had a great time and met some new potential friends. We spent all day there. Gratitude journal: Good morale.Heavily distorted electric guitars.being friends with people of all nationalities and walks of life.

Great example as it might really explain your situation. Your body has adapted to your same old bodyweight routine and you do need to modify it, either by working out longer (meh) or by making the same exercises harder (yay). Thing weighted pull-ups, diamond push-ups, and so on. Same with everything else. Keep it challenging or you'll get bored and drop out. Do you want to be a sysadmin? It's a very cool job indeed. Consider that you might have to work shifts and be available for emergencies.

Day 141. A good day. I walked in the woods before work and I've been productive at work. No walk after work because I might have caught a virus or something, so I just took a shower and relaxed a bit instead. Gratitude journal: Walking around a beautiful lake.Sticking to my decisions.My ergonomic chair.

Yay! I echo your sentiment. Why do you think that not many people are trying to improve themselves? Can it be that it's just not a topic that comes up in conversations? Somehow this forum lets us skip the whole getting acquainted and building trust part that comes before talking about personal stuff.

Day 140. I didn't sleep very well (my son woke me up) and today I found it challenging to keep motivated. I was also in a bad mood this morning due to a thing that made me resentful, although I was aware that I blew it out of proportion. But a poor night's sleep sure must be only a part of it. I talked it over with my wife and reinforced my belief that I'd better take action sooner than later. I need to be more outdoors and physically active. So I'll start doing a fake commute before and after work. I'm also wondering whether buying a daylight lamp could be beneficial. Any advice? All in all today went well. I matched almost all my weightlifting records and enjoyed a great evening watching TED streaming with fellow TEDx'ers, including my wife. No energy at work is a big minus though. I could also have spent more time with my children. Gratitude journal: Wonderful company tonight.Liquid chalk is exactly what I needed for improving my deadlift.Being friends with my wife.

Day 139. A fantastic day! I took a day off because of a school meeting and also because I wanted a break. I'm now very aware that many counterproductive behaviors are consequences of stress and that many times in my life I pushed myself too hard. I'm blessed to have changed my situation so much, to a point where I can take a day off when I need it instead of working myself to near-death to make ends meet. This is one of the most important lessons I learned in life: if your environment is wrong for you, and if your attempts at improving it fail, get out. It's like a fire: put it out if you can, but run if it's all around you! So today I relaxed like a king. I went outside with my wife all morning and I played guitar all afternoon. I wanted to work on my technique and learn a couple of challenging songs. My elder son was fascinated and wanted to wait until I finished before going to bed. I hope he himself will find pleasure in learning. Gratitude journal: Pantera. They are legends.The weather was perfect and I was outdoors.My son's school is good with him.

Congratulations on your decision! I believe one day you'll be very proud of it.

Great post! And no, I have no experience with physical pain related to withdrawal, but no doubts it's a real thing either.

Day 138. A surprisingly good day. My sleepless night didn't affect me negatively at all. After writing the previous post I had a rich post-workout breakfast, read some more of The Elegant Universe (string theory FTW!), helped my son get ready for school, and started working. With some difficulty at first, then I entered a state of flow and got a lot done. I found that the tricks I learn from reading David D. Burns's Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy are immensely helpful. I'd encourage anyone wishing to improve his mood's baseline to give it a try. I like to think of it as my mental maintenance toolbox. Gratitude journal: Being in a good, energetic mood.Spotify's Discovery. Every Monday there's a hidden gem or two.Arranging to go visit a new friend on Wednesday.

Whenever I'm back in my hometown I find myself in the same situation: people drink and drive. And by drink I mean that they think it's normal to have two or three drinks, and then it's acceptable to have more, "drive carefully", and just hope not to get pulled out. I hate it guts, even though I like the people themselves. You need to take care of yourself if no one else will. If you feel too self-conscious you can always explain it from another angle. It's a wonderful evening, I think I'll walk. I prefer to drive myself, anybody joining? I'll see you there, I got stuff to do before (like drink a tea on your own somewhere). You are telling the truth and being kind to yourself. You can love and accept somebody without having to love, accept, and follow everything they say and do. And you do this all the time already, right? It happens especially with family. As to moving to SD, that might be a great move! I always thought I wanted to live as remote as possible, and now that I'm in a big town I'm loving it. So much choice, and you can always find a quiet place anyway. Maybe you won't have to look for a new job if you don't want to. Talk to your supervisor about working remotely. I did and I'm never going back to an office again!

Sure, give it a try! I did and I am growing to like being sober all the time. Even in situations where I would drink as a given, like the last metal concert I went to, I have much more fun than expected. I love these little experiments.

Happy to read it's going so well with you! Indeed taking action yourself is the best way to go. A man called Gandhi once said: "you must be the change you want to see in the world". It was about much broader issues but I find it fit perfectly with everyday life. Keep it up man!

Day 137. Woke up with a stomachache and not a stellar mood. Instead of going all out making a great day for my wife I focused on keeping crankiness at bay. And I managed, In the afternoon I became more social and spent time with my family. Made up stories with the children, wished my mum happy birthday, made dinner, went to bed early after making sure the kids would stay in bed. I woke up at 1AM though and I couldn't fall back to sleep. I tried falling back asleep, finished reading my audiobook, played piano in the dark, no good. After a couple of hours I stood up and went to lift some weights. The day is on and I'm feeling well. Gratitude journal: Earphones. I can listen and play without waking anybody.The Cure.My new weightlifting belt. I didn't imagine it'd make such a difference on the heaviest sets.

Day 136. Another good day. We went to the celebrations for the Chinese New Year. Chilled out at home in the evening. Then my wife went out to meet a friend and I spent time with my children. Well, one of them, because the little one got tired early and went to bed. Gratitude journal: Explaining the human skeleton to my son. He seems fascinated by anatomy.The chores I got done.The time I'm going to spend with my wife when she's back.

Day 135. A very good day. The highlight of today was going to the local TEDx with my wife. The curator picked some very interesting talks and it was fun to discuss them with the audience. After the event we hung around some more and had a great time. One recurring thought over the past months is about a friend of twenty years. One of those friendships you could kill for. With time it became one-sided, meaning I was always the one to initiate contact. Last year I started to feel a bit like a beggar. During my last visit to my hometown we didn't meet. We agreed he'd pick a time and place, he left it hanging, and I didn't insist. I'm tempted to let the friendship go, and to myself I tell that I have. It's a lot to process. I struggled to hit my stride today at work and I didn't get done nearly as much as I wanted to. No point in beating myself up though, I'm only human. What I can do is try to optimize my day and work environment. Maybe a walk every morning? Increased lighting? Both? Gratitude journal: The fantastic depth of a human life.My wife and my family.An invitation we got today: we're making new friends.

Days 132, 133, 134. Peaceful days. Sure there was a lot going on as always, so I'm referring to my approach to things. My little big self-improvement projects are paying out. My cheerfulness baseline is consistently higher. I feel less stressed and more in control. I'm consistent with my key habits and ready to push the bar a bit further. Lately I've been reflecting that family and work have the lion's share of my time. What's left is not much. I want to reassess what I do and make sure that I'm allocating my time where it matters most. Gratitude journal: Enjoying the silence.Reassessing my weightlifting form. Can't wait to put it all to the test tomorrow.Talking with my mum.

Sorry to hear that. I'm always surprised when I deal with scammers. Makes me kinda want to believe in karma.

Day 131. I didn't sleep much tonight, but today I was in a good mood. I had a craving to play in the morning which went away by itself after some minutes. I had nice breaks with my family and an impeccable weightlifting session. A good day. Gratitude journal: Avoiding a scam (near miss!) and taking action to distance my family from the scammer.Grill pans. Oh yeah.The children fell asleep earlier than usual and so will I.

Days 129, 130. Nice, nice! I had a blast at yesterday's concert. I went alone and didn't know anybody and that didn't bother me one bit. Five hours of great metal and intense moshing! At first I was a bit intimidated: I'm well below average height for this country. But what the hell. And I must say, the Dutch are exemplary at handling a pit. Today we had great family fun at a huge indoors jungle gym. Back home we made dinner for a couple of friends. We ended up playing and singing. Love that couple! Gratitude journal: Dutch headbangers for knowing how to have fun at a concert while being respectful.Losing my keys three years ago. Thanks to that I made some good friends.Astrophysics.

Haha, hopefully not by the truck driver

Keep in mind that Linux certifications pay huge dividends. Professionals holding certifications like SUSE's Certified Linux Professional (CLP) and Red Hat Certified Engineer (RHCE) are highly sought after. A nice plus is that the competences you acquire by studying any Linux distribution can be easily transferred to others. Give it some thought and PM me if you want more info, I'll be happy to help.

Days 126, 127, 128. Everybody at home is feeling better. Finally today I am in great health again. A nice walk in the morning, an intense workday with excellent developments, an impeccable weightlifting session. I finally dedicated time to my family again, playing with the children, talking with my wife. I tested a new system for my children's PC and I think I found a keeper. Now I'm waiting for the little one to stop climbing out of bed every five minutes so that my wife and I can watch this sci-fi series we want to check out. Gratitude journal: The hot chocolate my wife made. Intense and creamy, just like the one at the bar.Ending the workweek with a feeling of accomplishment.Tomorrow I'm finally taking some time for myself. !'m going to a concert with four great bands!

Hey Thomas, welcome back! Yes, a huge difference to the better. It can be tough at first until you realize you have effectively filled your time with better things. I see this as a constant among ex-gamers here. The more you are deliberate in choosing what to do instead of gaming, the easier it will be.

Day 125. My children are ill so I took the chance to spend time with them in the morning. It was fun! Then some nice breakfast, and off to work. A busy day and a busy night between chores and calculations. A nice day too. Gratitude journal: A fantastic, fair negotiation.The children were cheerful in spite of being ill.Free and open source software.

Day 124. Today I was in a good mood. I've been very productive at work, cheerful, present with my family. I still didn't feel great physically but didn't get nervous about it. One strange thing that happened this morning is that I had a strong craving for TF2. I didn't give in but I did have to fight. The urge to game was almost a physical sensation, together with a mix of anticipation and mental focus. It lasted for maybe two minutes. I mentally bumped over all my safety measures: I run Linux, I didn't install Steam, I sold my video card, I deleted my account. Sticking to rational thinking was a great help. My desire to play was a thought I didn't invite, and one I could debate away. If I had followed my feelings I would have played, because they were strong and felt right. Interestingly, I'm kind of expecting there will be a next time. Maybe even ten years from now. Like those incredibly rare times i pick up a cigarette, every three or four years. Tied to some cue I'm not even aware of. Gratitude journal: Recognizing and stopping emotional thinking.Some nice developments at work.Having a calm and loving atmosphere today at home.