Entry 1704 (Written on 18.04) Day 566: No Useless Videos Day 564: Sticking to Food schedule Day 168: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 158: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did right, no matter how small. -3.5 hrs deliveries -about 1.5 hrs workout right after that -Having gone to the bike shop to have the pro look at my bike 1 Thing I could do better -I am really really considering the nutritional consultation.  

Hello everyone, I am a 22 year old in the U.S. submariner leaving the military in a few months. I was born in San Diego, California, raised in Las Vegas Nevada, and put on shore duty back at San Diego, though now I'm finishing up my contract. I want to quit video games as I've seen and felt the consequences of those long hours spending time doing nothing but looking at numbers go up on a screen. I hate myself for doing such things, even being aware that other things need to get done and yet always glued onto video games. I've ruined my sleep schedule, my health is slowly deteriorating, stopped talking to my family, worried about finding a new job yet taking no action on such things, and scared to ask those close to me for help because I worry about what might happen even though I have no idea what would actually happen. My main goals after quitting is to get my life straightened back up, get a good job, socialize with others to find that special someone, make a fiction series, and to be healthy.

Day 1/14 A few urges, but I managed to control myself and direct my thoughts elsewhere. Was somewhat productive today despite poor sleep.

I relate to a lot of that. The course I'm on has an employability module, and there's a lot of "be yourself!" alongside "Do X, Y and Z otherwise you're putting yourself at a disadvantage". I hate all the bollocks involved in getting a job, which is why I've dragged my feet over updating my CV and applying for jobs. I've been single for ten years as well, and haven't touched a dating app in seven years(?). I don't think you are penalised for authenticity in the same way there, but I can't feel authentic on a dating profile when I know I'm being selective about what I do and don't mention. That's true in real-life interactions too, but it doesn't feel so...manipulative.

Hey, I hear you- same is for me. And indeed, the current predominant modes of social interaction, be it dating apps or employment, do not favor that. In fact, that is very much discouraged. What you're doing is so brave- I'm glad you do not compromise on your values! I'm not sure how difficult it is for you to find employment places where honesty/authenticity would be valuable... I too am searching for those- it seems that places like that do not pay much, and are very community/social-focused. Informal education, mutual aid nonprofits (like providing free counselling), etc..  I'm sorry you've had so much struggle from living by your values- it certainly does not need to be that way.