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Two ,ore hacatons won, one job offer lost and two competitions lost i am here again)

Day 156 I'm sorry for the long pauses inbetween posts but I feel that there is less to post about once I got through the early 'withdrawal' phase. I'm still game-free, running, eating healthier, gardening, and I added lifting weights to the mix 🤩 I try to run/lift 2 times each a week. I also aim for 10k steps a day. It does good things for my mental well-being, to be honest! Cravings are still present at times. It's a good thing I gave away all my good in-game items/currency to friends, because I think I might have relapsed if it wasn't for that. The pursuit of an ADHD diagnosis made me feel weird for a while. The psychologist was asking about autism traits too. I think it messed with my head in the identity sense of things. It took a couple weeks to feel more like myself again, and I've become ambivalent about the ADHD diagnosis and meds. I still have time to decide whether I want to do the tests or not. Anyway, still no plans to ever start gaming again. So the next time I post, the number should be higher! 😁 Cheers!

Welcome and good luck, Joshua!

Entry 24.04 (Written on 25.04) Day 573: No Useless Videos Day 571: Sticking to Food schedule Day 175: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 165: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did right, no matter how small. - Made it to the bike store at 17 48 as i promised to the guy in the store still within the timeframe of the same day, even though apparently it was closed early because of the holidays. -Having quickly accepted being fired, because it is not under my control and continued to my daily tasks, a little uncertainty may even be helpful. What are my next actions will really determine what kind of person I am, by gones be by gones -At least 6 Pomodoro 1 Thing I could do better -Having checked with the bike store about their opening hours beforehand, not assumed they work regularly as  the gym i work in does

April 25 (morning) I dreamt about everything last night; gaming, life, relationships - the lot, I'm pretty sure. But for some reason, I dreamt that I was watching someone else's in-game experience (I haven't done that with any real interest since 2018), which went sort of like my own early this year, except they got luckier 'loot'. Luckier in the official game - I tried both the official and the copycat version for a small amount of fun times, and got lucky at both, but the particular 'item' was a monster's head, 'used' for various purposes.  Both while I was dreaming, and when I'd finished my morning routine, I think, I realised how the luck I appreciated on the copycat game was very fleeting, even when congratulated in the global chat. On the official game, there was appreciation, but with the five-to-tenfold 'dedication' it takes to achieve there, it probably only inspired obsession.  My former gaming buddy (on the same copycat server, funnily enough) said that the copycat might offer a scratch to various itches, but that the official was ultimately a 'life suck'. I appreciate the second part a bit more now, - even if it's really difficult for us to get along as regular friends - because before I called 'time' on that game about 2 weeks ago, I was trying to plan everything in my day around 2 or 3 'golden hours' of frantically-clicking 'grinding'. The ultimate level goal wasn't even that worthwhile; the rationale was 'so I could do that if I wanted to.' As I kind of realised, all the clicking, typing and screen rotating (around a single avatar, of course) has been a part of my awareness for so long. Sure, I could try and see hyper-vigilance as a strength, an asset, but does it ultimately result in mine and others' greater safety, especially if it's going to somehow fade out of my life? We'll see. ________________ Gratitude: ~ good sleep, both nights ~ the cold-thing I've caught is definitely something, but I haven't suffered too much so far ~ a public holiday for the masses! - maybe a more relaxed environment to go out in ~ the warmer-material bedsheets my dad brought over last year, ready for the full season Peace, ~ Matt