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April 25 (morning) I dreamt about everything last night; gaming, life, relationships - the lot, I'm pretty sure. But for some reason, I dreamt that I was watching someone else's in-game experience (I haven't done that with any real interest since 2018), which went sort of like my own early this year, except they got luckier 'loot'. Luckier in the official game - I tried both the official and the copycat version for a small amount of fun times, and got lucky at both, but the particular 'item' was a monster's head, 'used' for various purposes.  Both while I was dreaming, and when I'd finished my morning routine, I think, I realised how the luck I appreciated on the copycat game was very fleeting, even when congratulated in the global chat. On the official game, there was appreciation, but with the five-to-tenfold 'dedication' it takes to achieve there, it probably only inspired obsession.  My former gaming buddy (on the same copycat server, funnily enough) said that the copycat might offer a scratch to various itches, but that the official was ultimately a 'life suck'. I appreciate the second part a bit more now, - even if it's really difficult for us to get along as regular friends - because before I called 'time' on that game about 2 weeks ago, I was trying to plan everything in my day around 2 or 3 'golden hours' of frantically-clicking 'grinding'. The ultimate level goal wasn't even that worthwhile; the rationale was 'so I could do that if I wanted to.' As I kind of realised, all the clicking, typing and screen rotating (around a single avatar, of course) has been a part of my awareness for so long. Sure, I could try and see hyper-vigilance as a strength, an asset, but does it ultimately result in mine and others' greater safety, especially if it's going to somehow fade out of my life? We'll see. ________________ Gratitude: ~ good sleep, both nights ~ the cold-thing I've caught is definitely something, but I haven't suffered too much so far ~ a public holiday for the masses! - maybe a more relaxed environment to go out in ~ the warmer-material bedsheets my dad brought over last year, ready for the full season Peace, ~ Matt

Day 8/14 Fine day, got a lotta stuff done, pretty tired now.

Day 4 and 5 behind- excited to keep moving (on).  Urges more significant today-  I am a bit exhausted, and yet am not providing myself space of rest. I will continue to build the free world I want to live in. I can't stop, I don't want to escape and distract (again). If not now, when? 

Entry 23.04 (Written on 24.04) Day 572: No Useless Videos Day 570: Sticking to Food schedule Day 174: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 164: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did right, no matter how small. -having planned the next day with its specialties (Getting bike once again to shop for a preventive overall check. Yes I brought it twice already and both times they didn't manage to do an overall check yeta and it will need to be done again 🙂 -about 3.5 hrs of deliveries followed by a 1+ hour workout -8 pomodoros (Even though I planned 12 but every pomodoro is a "well" thing 🙂 ) 1 Thing I could do better -For a long time I'm dozing off after dinner, I think doing the same with dinner as i do with lunch could help. Soak olive oil with the other ingredients a day in advance, maybe it will help the body absorb the meal and result in less sleepiness.

Day 7/14 Got a lot done today with uni work, but also set time aside to just relax and do what I want, which was much needed. I realized today that I've become static in some aspects of life, where I have much potential to grow. Want to get a bit better everyday. Feeling improvement and progress is a great motivator to improve even more and enjoy more things in life.