The Long Road Ahead

[not-a-jedi-yet]

Hello everyone,

I'm 31 years old and have been a gamer since a very young age. All of that very casually, until the golden age of the internet and the first mmo's and other famous games.
I remember my summer vacations when I was still in school : sleeping during the day, playing during the night. Putting a lot of hours into these games, rarely having any sunlight. 

I never saw myself as a hardcore gamer though. 

It's more of the recent events / years that have me worried.

My last relapse was last week-end and an eye opener. Out of boredom I have been browsing twitch the past few weeks. I followed (and even subscribed) to a channel of some casual gamer. The next thing, I'm installing WoW again and playing it for all week end long (20+ hours!!)

I'm glad I only played for two days "more" instead of months/years. The eye opener was my 6 year old son asking me to delete the game because I didn't spend enough time with him.
And he was right. I didn't follow up on promised due to the game. So I deleted WoW. The computer isn't strong enough for more recent games, but I'm still thinking about downgrading it even more or replacing it by a computer that is only powerful enough for e-mails, browing, and Netflix (in HD).

It wasn't the first time I relapsed. The relapses are always short but very destructive. Gaming is not the basic problem I have, because even without gaming I feel like shit.
But at least I get to share this with you and read your stories. The very next step is to trade my toxic addiction for something healthier.

Easy to write, not so to act on it...

I certainly have some underlying problems. I will get my physical health checked up to be sure, and then my mental health. I'm fairly certain that I have mental health issues. Maybe not severe, but they have a serious impact on my life and my very restricted social circle. I wouldn't know where it is coming from though.

I'll open a journal very soon to share it all with you. I have a long road ahead, hoping for the best.

Thanks for reading and my support to you all.

[giblets]

Welcome mate! You have come to the right place.

[not-a-jedi-yet]

Thank you. Indeed, I hope this place among others will keep me focused and on the right path.

[giblets]

I find it is a good outlet to talk about like minded people and learn some of their coping mechanisms with not just game addiction, but life in general. I don't think you will be disappointed!

[Cam Adair]

Welcome! Read Joe's story, I think you'll find it inspiring.