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Posted

Should I make a new post here just to mention that I relapsed?

I did relapse, though lol.

I had my son on November 10th and I came back home from the hospital on November 13th and I've tried to play while I've been back. It's tough. With the around the clock breastfeeding, lack of sleep and then trying to play when he's asleep it just catches up with me every single time. There are times I have played for a full 2 hours until I start getting sleepy, then I look at my newborn son and start feeling guilty about playing then I just get off and hold him until I fall asleep. A really good friend of mine stopped playing video games. He said he only plays when his girlfriend wants to play, other than that he doesn't play at all. He said they don't feel the same like they used to anymore. So now he goes to the gym, works, goes to class, rides his bike everywhere, reads, basically enjoying life. I told him about my struggles with video game addiction and he said that I should quit also because it's worth it. That life brings more to the table than video games. I told him that I felt like this was a losing battle for me and Im just going to end up playing like I always do, but he believes in me enough that I have the willpower to stop playing.

It's nice knowing I have a friend who believes in me also. Besides having the support of everyone here and my husband supporting me also. Right now I'm just trying to take it easy and enjoy one day at a time. We will see what happens in the future.

My 5 year old and my newborn son :)

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Posted

Congratulation on your children. I am glad everything went ok.

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Posted

Congratulations!

Now, Ashley, you know what? I believe that quitting video games NOW is not the right time for you. I know, many people say every moment is the perfect moment to do this or that or bla. But let's be real for a second: If I would have the stress, weight and responsibility you have right now, I would probably collapse. Giving birth to a human, working "a job" 24hrs a day, often without any sleep or rest, that would be too much for me to bear. So, in addition to all of that, you try to work on an addiction as well. That means, despite the fact that you already do SO MUCH, you raise your expectations even higher to a level where it is close to impossible to succeed. These expectations create pressure and with the failure comes the feeling of guilt. If you ask me, don't do that. Do not quit video games right now. Not cold turkey.

Instead, I would recommend to begin "preparing" your turkey. That means, do simple and very, very easy exercises in which you can succeed. For example, if you feel the urge to play, delay it a little. Drink a glass of water, listen to a song and after 10 minutes, well ... go ahead and play. Then, set an alarm clock that forces you to take a break after 30 minutes or so. And convince yourself to take this break. These are all just examples, but they show what I try to say: Train your willpower in tiny bits. Do not over-extend when it is almost impossible to win the battle. This video game withdrawal will take a lot from you and you will make it, but probably not right now. For now, care for your family and for you and if it happens that you find yourself playing a game, do not blame yourself and do not play the guilt-game. This will only lead in loads of failed trials, which will lower your self-esteem, which will make it even harder to imagine quitting games.

" I told him that I felt like this was a losing battle for me and Im just going to end up playing like I always do[...]

This is what I mean. And this image of yourself will get worse over time if you fail and fail again. And the point is, that you do not fail because you are weak or bad or whatever. Because you are not. You fail because you are already 110% occupied with a different, GREAT and IMPRESSING job, that is being a mother of a new born kid. Like I said, take the tiniest steps you can possibly make. This process will take its time. You can and you will do it. You will succeed, but you have to take the tiniest steps possible for now.

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