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The Warrior's Infinite Opus

408 posts in this topic

Posted

@Shine Magical It's super surreal - and it's all about looking at each others souls. Very nice.

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Posted

119 days

Days porn free: 2

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Going for a walk by myself

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study or read 1 hour
  • Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Done

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • I got up at a reasonable time
  • I did something that blew my fucking mind today! This is pretty fucked so bear with me: I was looking into sexual energy transmutation the other day and I came across a video on Qijong meditation (whatever it was called). I recalled a part about making your energy flow from the base of your spine to head head, down your front and back round again. So I tried focusing on my groin area then working my focus around the loop at discrete points. I could feel a slight numbness in parts I focused on and at some places I felt quite fuzzy. So when my 10 min were up I stood up and I realised I fucking spaffed in my pants a little! Who would've thunk?! It didn't work though because I still had urges.
  • So I have been ill lately and a bit starved of vitamin D and fresh air so I stuck my be'lakor shirt and combat boots on and went for a walk by myself. One guy said hello to me. Nobody usually bothers saying anything when I have metal shirts on. I went through the fields, down some farm tracks, Found some neat little trees I could do pullups off, and looked around some pockets of forest. I even saw 3 deer bombing it through some farmer's fields. I think they were roe deer. Sucks how much of the landscape fell to agriculture in this country. So we could get fat  and build up this fuck fest called society.
  • Came home and studied, read manga.
  • I think I will build Nikolai Tesla's free energy generator for my physics project next year.
  • I slept for 3 hours today. No one was up for an accountability call so I did some art.

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: walk
  • Mental: studying, learning german, reading, art
  • Spiritual: walk, meditation

What I am grateful for:

What I have learnt from today:

  • There's a lot of cool stuff around here even if I am in the middle of no where
  • This Qijong shit might work; let's try again!

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to.

Goal for tomorrow:

Get shit done for my project

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

 
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Posted

Damn look at all these Chuck Schuldiners. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!!

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Posted

Weebs and metalheads everywhere he says lol. Indeed, I can cater to both camps I presume. What's your take on Killswitch Engage? Which genres do you prefer? With regard to Japanese singers, do you know Amezarashi? He has some good songs, although his videos might be a bit strange though sometimes

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Posted (edited)

Weebs and metalheads everywhere he says lol. Indeed, I can cater to both camps I presume. What's your take on Killswitch Engage? Which genres do you prefer? With regard to Japanese singers, do you know Amezarashi? He has some good songs, although his videos might be a bit strange though sometimes

I never got into killswitch. But the guitarist has done pretty dope side project called serpentine dominion with cannibal corpse singer george fisher and ex tbdm drummer shannon lucas. As for genres, my heart lies with death metal of all shapes and sizes. Be it brutal, technical, progressive or melodic. I do cross over a lot into other genres though. Anything that gets me going I listen to!

Never heard of him. He can sure sing! Everything in japan is strange though right? Here's a japanese metal band. Only japanese singer I really know lol. Even though he doesn't really sing.

Edited by Schwing

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Posted

120 days

Days porn free: 3

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Blowing my nose on a piece of toilet paper and walking around with mucus on my face whilst simultaneously not giving a fuck. HAH (ok i know that was disgusting but I've already admitted to some pretty personal shit here so it doesn't really matter. RIGHT?!)
  • Admitting I did the above on the forums. Yuck.

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study or read 1 hour
  • Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

I didn't get a chance!

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • I got up later than I wanted to
  • There was a running event on today at school but I was too ill to compete. I wish I could have though. If I was me 6 months ago I wouldn't have at all. Strange how much life changes in such a short span of time.
  • I sat around, read manga and listened to bolt thrower for most of the day at school
  • came home and tried to study but my focus kept drifting

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: 
  • Mental: studying, learning german, reading, art
  • Spiritual: meditation

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • Those japs for making awesome metal, awesome cartoons and awesome comic books
  • 5 day duolingo streak
  • 3 days free of porn
  • Bolt thrower for being one of the few reasons I am proud to be english!

What I have learnt from today:

  • I really really like running
  • I have been less emotionally grounded lately. Need to chill the fuck out and act more mature. probably because I haven't been doing bioenergetics or wim hof because I am ill.
  • I keep forgetting to randomly start conversations. I think the notion of approaching random people intimidates me on a subconscious level. Therefore I pussy out.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to. Get some sufficient context if need be. Take baby steps.

Goal for tomorrow:

Start working out again

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

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Posted

121 days

Days porn free: 4

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Talking to 3 people I don't usually talk to. Getting there.

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study or read 1 hour
  • Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Nailed it

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • I got up later than I wanted to again
  • Went to school. Tried acting less unstable and needy and being more masculine. It worked! I felt much better on an emotional level. Through embodying the intention the spirit follows suit.
  • Did climbing. There was this german guy there who is new. Really cool guy. He just talks to anyone. Reminds me that I should stop giving a fuck about the images of people and just get talking.
  • Came back and I really wanted to work out so I did. Legs and core mostly. My new addiction!
  • Did energising routine and took a SUPER COLD SHOWER. My shower hasn't gone that cold before. Felt good.
  • Studied and posted around forums. Forum posting takes up quite a bit of time. But I need it!
  • My cold is pretty much gone

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: climb, workout
  • Mental: studying, learning german
  • Spiritual: meditation, bioenergetics, cold shower

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • German guy
  • The shower for being much colder today
  • My cold going
  • Getting shit done today. Let's hope tomorrow is a decent day.

What I have learnt from today:

  • The difference between me and that guy was that he was secure and I am insecure. Need to fix that.
  • I love workouts, but perhaps i am a more mental person?

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to. Get some sufficient context if need be. Take baby steps.

Goal for tomorrow:

Run like a beast in the woods

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

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Posted (edited)

Edit: posted twice

Edited by Schwing
oops posted twice

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Posted

122 days

Days porn free: 5

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Nothing really

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study or read 1 hour
  • Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Felt awesome!

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • I got up really late
  • Went to school. Decent day
  • Did running. Really pushed myself.
  • When I got back I felt super tough
  • Came home studied and did some art. Looks pretty whack at the moment but it's not finished.

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: run
  • Mental: studying, learning german, art
  • Spiritual: 

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • Running!
  • Nature
  • Testosterone
  • Improving my social skills

What I have learnt from today:

  • The world is fucked but it is my duty to make it just that little bit unfucked
  • On this site it is my duty to help and not argue. I will present my ideas but I will not try and manipulate others.
  • Prehistoric man actually lived a long time like us. Just a high infant mortality rate.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to. Get some sufficient context if need be. Take baby steps.

Goal for tomorrow:

Get project sorted

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

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Posted

123 days

Days porn free: 6

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Talking to 3 people I don't usually talk to

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study or read 1 hour
  • Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Pretty much

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • I got up really late again
  • I hate school! Surrounded by shallow fucktards who don't care about me vice versa. What happened to the tribe? What happened to the people who would lay down their life for their kin? Slaves to money. Slaves to symbols created by the machine. All my friends are on the fucking internet! This world is fucked! I was quite angry today. Angry at people. Angry that I had no one in real life to rest in. Angry that I couldn't bring myself to seek this in others enough. I told a guy I didn't have any friends today. He would consider himself as my friend. He didn't say shit! Let's try and sneak some more deep shit into a conversation. See what happens. See if they coil up and break and their spiritual autism kicks in.
  • Despite my views on school today was ok
  • Came home and worked out
  • Did some art. looked like shit! But I don't care I just want to improve. The means to an end? Fuck no! There is no end in life apart from death! Just means.

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: workout
  • Mental: studying, learning german, art
  • Spiritual: cold shower

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • Art
  • Internet friends
  • 8 days duolingo streak
  • Nofap day 6. Got promoted on army of liberty

What I have learnt from today:

  • Need to make some new friends. Get rid of these losers

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to. Get some sufficient context if need be. Take baby steps.

Goal for tomorrow:

Make one random conversation. You can do it!

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

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Posted

 
  • I hate school! Surrounded by shallow fucktards who don't care about me vice versa. What happened to the tribe? What happened to the people who would lay down their life for their kin? Slaves to money. Slaves to symbols created by the machine. All my friends are on the fucking internet! This world is fucked! I was quite angry today. Angry at people. Angry that I had no one in real life to rest in. Angry that I couldn't bring myself to seek this in others enough. I told a guy I didn't have any friends today. He would consider himself as my friend. He didn't say shit! Let's try and sneak some more deep shit into a conversation. See what happens. See if they coil up and break and their spiritual autism kicks in.

What I have learnt from today:

  • Need to make some new friends. Get rid of these loser

(just my POV) I see where you are coming from. Most people have their own problems and they tend to avoid negative people/thought. Capitalism to certain extent and social media (i.e. stroking the super-ego) cultivates egoism and renders people shallow, but who are we to judge? I've been through the same shit, cut people out of my life, going full lone wolf in an attempt to "make it right". Didn't work out, was perceived as a drama only. People are drawn to positivity, success and greatness, an introvert, gamer/weeb or metalhead does not really go well with this concept (that's how it was for me during school). You are working on yourself and you try to improve your position - this alone is a noble pursuit.

I try to fix it by focusing on self-improvement and I try to care less about opinions of others - you can't change other people, but you can change yourself!

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Posted

The way school works is everybody has a preconceived image of each other. They psychologically force you into these social groupings and you're stuck that way. I was stuck with the introvert, gamer/weeb group (no metalheads at school). But now I'm dropping that shit (mostly. WEEB FOR LIFE) I just don't fit in anywhere! The thing with the adult world is that there is the opportunity to go out and find likeminded individuals and be yourself- there is no social group to conform to.

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Posted (edited)

125 days

Days porn free: 8

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Doing bioenergetics in front of my window

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study or read 1 hour
  • Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

None set

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • I got up so fucking late!
  • I felt very masculine at school. My voice is so deep I think i hit the brown note.
  • No social anxiety. Didn't make me any less introverted.
  • Got a haircut. nice and short!
  • Came home. Stuck on some converge and immolation. Slayed workout.
  • read some of physics book
  • Did energising routine
  • Studied
  • Did art. Used charcoals for first time
  • Best day ever
  • Didn't post yesterday because I got back from work and i was too tired

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: workout
  • Mental: studying, learning german, art
  • Spiritual: cold shower, bioenergetics, meditation

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • charcoal
  • Converge
  • testosterone
  • PAIN

What I have learnt from today:

  • Today was good. Tomorrow might suck. But that doesn't matter. I just need to do the thing

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Going for a run through the wilderness at sunrise! Well not really wilderness but it's as close as it gets round here

Goal for tomorrow:

Finish homework

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

Edited by Schwing

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Posted (edited)

 But now I'm dropping that shit (mostly. WEEB FOR LIFE) I just don't fit in anywhere!

As you seem to meditate, there might be an anime you could like: Mushishi as well as season 2: Mushishi Zoku Shou; Part 1 + Part 2

It's hard to characterise this series - episodic travel narrative with a buddhist/zen touch to it. Amazing O.S.T. and great artwork. I quit my weeb life mostly due to the fanservice/"moe"-ificiation of many anime. There are, however, some anime I would still watch anytime -> Cowboy Bebop, Mushishi, Ghost in the Shell SAC 1/2, Darker than Black (even though the story still does not make much sense) as well as Black Lagoon (Season 1)

Edited by Granitwelle
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Posted (edited)

@Granitwelle Ah!!! I started that series months ago and never finished, thanks so much for reminding me of its name. Uh, you... isn't your avatar from it? Heh. You must be very fond of it. I too think it is a good series, but not done yet, so I can't tell.

@Schwing Keep drawing shitty pictures and doing sports!! Every meter your pencil travels will make you .01% better!

Edited by destoroyah
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