"Be open to all outcomes, but attached to none."

Yeah...

7 posts in this topic

Posted

I think it's funny how quickly I relapsed after coming on here almost a week ago to say that Im back after my relapse and yet I relapsed AGAIN for a week.

I honestly believe at this point that I don't have the willpower to quit playing. I've played for so long that it feels like its engrained. I still play for long periods of time, but then when I get upset with whatever game I'm playing, I get off and I don't go back on until a couple of hours later or when my husband gets off the computer. It's literally 3 days before my C-Section and my son has a cold and I still play. This must be the most shittiest thing I can do. Continuing to play while my son has a high fever of 102 and my second son coming soon. If that's not shitty, I don't know what is.

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Posted (edited)

The gaming is clearly in your way, but I don't believe that relapsing makes you a bad person. It is so very hard to abstain from this pattern of behavior and it is indeed somehow ingrained after years of playing. Do not blame yourself and do not punish yourself for the relapse. What happened isn't great but do not view yourself as a shitty person. See it from the opposite: A weak person would not try to sort his or her issues out and would probably not try again after relapsing. The fact that you tried again, the fact that you stood up to face your demons again, shows that you aren't weak at all. I wish you all the strength you need to try again and again until you succeed.

Edited by Robert Arctor
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Posted

A weak person would not try to sort his or her issues out and would probably not try again after relapsing. 

well said, mate.

Ashley, hang in there. You are living birth soon, and this fact alone is incredible. One thing at a time, be grateful for what you have and when you are ready, go back to the basics. You might be missing an important step of the process.

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Posted

When I relapsed I played for 2 years straight, and started taking drugs. I feel ya. 

We're always here Ashley! Congratulations on the upcoming baby, and I wish you the very best.

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Posted

We believe in you!

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Posted

Ashley the fact alone that you are ABLE to see your problems is a great start. And in my book, "failing" twice yet still coming back admitting it and asking for advice is the trait of a determined strong willed person

Admitting failure takes a ton of willpower to yourself and to others.

Do not give up! You ARE making progress even if it may not seem that way. Cam also relapsed pretty hardcore ;)  and yet look what he was able to build. Time is the key. Take your time - realize that this is a process that needs time and that we all have our own pace!

Keep fighting :D

 
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Posted

Cam also relapsed pretty hardcore ;)

Haha yep! 

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