"Be open to all outcomes, but attached to none."

Quit for 90 Days!

76 posts in this topic

Posted

Here I am! Proud finisher of the 90 day detox. Give me that badge Cam ;)

I don't have time right now to make an epic post like Alex or Kortheo but I will eventually edit it later on too share my way in a comprehensive way.

So long i stay with:

FUCK YEAH!

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Posted

Well completed the final days of the detox. Enjoyed it and I liked how with journal I can see the progress I made from the beginning up until now.

 

1. More clear headed

2. More social, but not on the level I want to be on

3. Less frustration & more patience

4. More money saved and spent to help people like my mom

5. Learned different things because I had the time to listen and wasn't occupied with video games.

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Posted

Welcome on the other side. Congratulations!

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Posted

Well completed the final days of the detox. Enjoyed it and I liked how with journal I can see the progress I made from the beginning up until now.

 

1. More clear headed

2. More social, but not on the level I want to be on

3. Less frustration & more patience

4. More money saved and spent to help people like my mom

5. Learned different things because I had the time to listen and wasn't occupied with video games.

giphy.thumb.gif.07113933caad88590fad2859

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Posted

Well completed the final days of the detox. Enjoyed it and I liked how with journal I can see the progress I made from the beginning up until now.

 

1. More clear headed

2. More social, but not on the level I want to be on

3. Less frustration & more patience

4. More money saved and spent to help people like my mom

5. Learned different things because I had the time to listen and wasn't occupied with video games.

Congrats! This is a new beginning for you and I am so glad you made it. :D

I am excited to get there too. :)

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Posted

Well completed the final days of the detox. Enjoyed it and I liked how with journal I can see the progress I made from the beginning up until now.

 

1. More clear headed

2. More social, but not on the level I want to be on

3. Less frustration & more patience

4. More money saved and spent to help people like my mom

5. Learned different things because I had the time to listen and wasn't occupied with video games.

Congrats! This is a new beginning for you and I am so glad you made it. :D

I am excited to get there too. :)

Thank you very much for this encouragment.

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Posted

Just starting the 90 days, started on May 2nd.  Wish me luck!

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Posted

I finished the 90 days a couple of days ago, and now I have time to share the things that I have learned and can hopefully also help someone else :) . It was actually easier than expected, I'm in a frame of mind now where I very much realise that gaming isn't worth it for me anymore. If gaming has even the most tiny chance to block the person I want to become, it can't have a place in my life.

My 5 most important lessons that I learned

1. For me by far the most important one of the 5 and yet so simple; if you're busy enough in your life, it's a big protection against gaming. The past couple of months I had a time-consuming internship, played a bunch of tennis competition and had to work in the evening for school, ... . When I actually had a bit of spare time, I even didn't consider spending it on gaming, because I just wanted to relax. Not having the time to game, helps a lot to stay away from it.

2. Handling negative and difficult situations in your life differently. Before I found this website, when I encountered a difficult situation in my life or felt very negative about something, I would run away and disconnect emotionally, numb the pain by playing video games. During this detox I also had a couple of negative and difficult situations that hurt me, but the difference I made now was handling it completely different. I accepted the pain and the negative emotions I felt, I told myself that with improvement in life, comes adversity. It means that you're on the right track and it's ok to feel bad in life sometimes, everyone has that.

3. Be very clear about the person you want to be in life and the goals that are important for you. It can be very scary to think about those thing and painful to not know what you want with your life, but it's so important. When you begin to realize what kind of person you want to be and what you want to accomplish in life, the urge to play games will not be so high, because it doesn't help you to become that person. 

4. Other people in life are everything. From my point of view, no one can feel really satisfied when there's no connection with other people in your life. Gaming can make you isolating from other people, emotionally and mentally distant. I noticed when I wasn't gaming anymore, that I was much more aware of everything else and of other people in life. I was listening much more, I was sharing things and this helped me to connect to people. This connection with people is much more fulfilling than playing games.

5. The realization that time is limited. In the period I was gaming regulary, every day could look like I was the same day, and before you knew it a couple of months had passed. But if this goes on for a while, a whole chunk of time could have passed in your life and nothing will have changed. I'm very aware now that life keeps going on and I don't want to waste any bit of it by playing an activity that doesn't improve me as a person and has so many negative side-effects.

This was a pretty long post, hopefully my lessons can be useful to some people :) . I'm pretty confident that I can stay game-free after this detox, because my attitude and thinking process has changed, so I see gaming as something pretty negative and harmful for my life.

To any one out there doing this detox or on the road of staying game-free, I sincerely wish you the best of luck with it and I believe you can do it :) .

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Posted (edited)

FedererMagic,

Thanks for taking the time to write out your accomplishments and congratulations for completing the 90 day detox!

You focused on a lot of good points, and I learned from your experience.  The number one thing I relate to is the connection with other people.  I'm glad you reconnected by simply being generous with your time, and also listening to your friends.  I think that listening is one of the things that people can practice doing more of, especially in intimate relationships (friends/family).  Sometimes we end up talking so much about ourselves, that the conversations end up being very one-sided.  It's a real skill, learning and practicing how to listen to others.

Sincerely,

Danni

Edited by Dannigan
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Posted

I finished the 90 days a couple of days ago

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Posted (edited)

Reached 90 two days ago!  Longest I have been off gaming since 2010 when I discovered WOW with all my other attempts only reaching week 2-3. From what I have read, my years on game are small potatoes to many.  I did game more than my full time job each week.  There have been some easy parts like at day 57 the cravings really reduced just to come back full swing at the moment.  Success sabotage? idk, I will get through it.  What I learned and what helped me more or less in the order I dealt with it:

1. Keep moving - both physically and mentally.  Time passes quickly when you have stuff to do and it keeps the cravings and relapse potential down. The first month was the hardest.  I was so agitated that I could not read, study or anything.  I could learn about what was going on in the head and body though.  Cam's workbook was worth every penny, his videos are rather simplistic but perfect in that initial raw state.  The forum was good and read of other people going through the same thing. The sunk loss fallacy and the dopamine effects had the most impact.

2. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.  All those years of avoidance, I had/have some serious life issues to work on and fix.  It was overwhelming.  I tried to make some realistic plans with small doable forward steps. Guilt - I had to learn to forgive myself for my actions.  Own them, accept and move on.  I think my family forgave me quicker than I have forgiven myself.  It amazes me how busy I am doing life's stuff that needs to be done and what I want to be done that I ever had time to game.

3. Having fun IRL and being connected to people.  This was honestly one of the best things about my recovery.  I have fun memories of games and now I am making fun ones in real life with people in my life.  Learning to balance work and fun at the moment as it is easy to do nothing but work stuff and chores.  I have some dreams now and am trying to put them into my life.  It is scary, excited and I feel alive.

4. Self care:  I have more sleep than I have ever gotten in my life and its still under the amount I need/recommended.  I am learning to eat healthier and trying to squeeze more physical activity into my life.  I already have way more than I had while gaming.  My changes have started a nice slow weight loss of about 18 pounds so far.  Learning you have value even if you are not downing a raid boss, best gear etc.  Learning that value is still there - even on the days that are not working out as u intended.

5.  It is not over - I am learning who I am without games and where I want to be.  I feel it is really hard to lose your identity as a gamer even with all the stigma.  The loss is real and I was rather surprised at the pain of rejecting it that I dealt/deal with. It is what you know and I was good at it.  I had a social network and place there.  That is no longer true and I am in transition to something else.  Not sure where it will end up..but life is the best game!

Not sure if I will ever game again or not only time will tell and when I am in control of them and not the other way around. I feel like mmorpg's are done for me.  They do not fit my life plan of short segments of mindless entertainment. My 90 detox actually is only the beginning of the journey in my opinion.  Thanks for all the support yawl!

Edited by Kad
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Posted

Congrats Kad, nice things you learned from the experience :) .

Best of luck with the rest of your goals and dreams!!

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Posted

Reached 90 two days ago!

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Posted

Great job @Kad ! :D I'm not too far off from making my 90 day victory post too. :)

 

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Posted

Great job @Kad ! :D I'm not too far off from making my 90 day victory post too. :)

 

Can't wait! :D

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