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Healing Journal: Day one


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@Pierce Thanks for your kind words! As for the books, I am looking into cheaper methods into attaining them, as they really do add up. I am currently looking through amazon, and even have a few friends who completed their first year giving me their old books for cheaper. Thanks for those sites, I will definitely check them out.

Healing Journal Day 17:

So I had my first day at university, and it was something else (in a good way). I was definitely right about the fact that beginning classes would take my mind off of gaming, as based on what I was told today by peers and professors, I am going to be putting a ton of effort into this year, however I do hope I am able to accomplish the goals I set for myself prior to starting classes.

Today only really consisted of me hearing the Syllabus for some of my classes in terms of learning and I know that tomorrow will most likely be the same jazz. But I feel as I really got more out of today from communicating with my new friends and hope to do more in the future. I was able to finish today earlier at around 3:00PM, as opposed to what normally would be me finishing at about 5:00PM since I was suppose to have a lab today, but our professor (I have to get used to calling them that as opposed to teacher) informed us that labs will begin next week.

After my classes, I had some extra time to check out the physical activity center where they had an amazing work out room that I hope to be going to every day after class. I was able to do a small workout as my primary intention was just to see the gym and get a bit familiar with all the different machines, and weights.

There was a few booths filled with different clubs that people were signing up for, including a dance club, a big brothers club, and even a few engineering club. They were all really fascinating, but my plan is to check them out in detail next week.

Despite all the positives, some things happened today that I hope I can sort out right away. For starters, I realize the way I take notes may be an issue. I'm a binder person, and I normally take notes by writing on paper. However a few personal, and objective problems arrive in doing this:

- Today I noticed that my capability of copying down the notes in time to keep up with the professor is near impossible (in other words, i have trouble writing all the prof's notes in time before they change the page)
- My binders are really heavy on my bag, as I need to take 3/4 per day. This is also difficult as it results in me lacking space in my bag for other things (lunch, workout bag, textbooks, etc)

- How I can get my textbooks cheap, but fast.

- My ability to communicate with my professors will be difficult, as each class has 300 students on average. and all of them, like me, try to speak with them and camp out the classrooms for a long time to ensure a good seat at the front.

There's more, but you get the idea. Honestly, I know this is over reacting as it's still the first day, but these problems are really taking a toll on my confidence. There's also the issue that despite my ability to have made a few friends yesterday, and today, I still feel pretty alone. This may be due to the high population though.

Lucky for me, tomorrow will be the same as today, in that it's just going through the syllabus for more classrooms, which gives me a weekend to sort everything out in my head. I'm hoping with the addition of exercise in my daily schedule, i'm able to remain calm, as I adapt to my new environment. 

Any advice for university, and success in general is really appreciated by the way.

To conclude, today was better than expected, but the feeling of preparing to spend hours of work has already taken affect. Thanks for reading, have a good night, and that concludes day 17 of my healing journal.

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OK first things first:

Keep talking with your fellow students. THe most important Thing to become successful at University is to find a group of peers witha  similar degree of ambition. It has endless benefits. You can help each other at organisational things, share your notes or make the hard times easier through having fun together. Me beeing more of a lone wolf at University(because I ahd allready a lot of friends in the area), made it unproportional hard for me to be successful. Be smarter: Connections are important! Create or join a fb/whatsapp for your peers at University where you can ask questions and post cool Events.

Try to prepare your lectures with rechecking last lextures Contents before you go into the next one. And get over yourself and ask questions if things are unclear for you. I know that this is hard because there are so many strangers around. But trust me it is way more engaging if you undestand what is talked about.

Be consistent with showing up, even if the lectures suck.

If you manage to do all these things your life at universtity will be much easier as mine was ;)

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- Today I noticed that my capability of copying down the notes in time to keep up with the professor is near impossible (in other words, i have trouble writing all the prof's notes in time before they change the page)
- My binders are really heavy on my bag, as I need to take 3/4 per day. This is also difficult as it results in me lacking space in my bag for other things (lunch, workout bag, textbooks, etc)

- How I can get my textbooks cheap, but fast.

- My ability to communicate with my professors will be difficult, as each class has 300 students on average. and all of them, like me, try to speak with them and camp out the classrooms for a long time to ensure a good seat at the front.

I'll try to tackle these, and feel free to ask for any other college-related advice. I'm far from any kind of an expert, but I've learned a lot of things the hard way so I have a good breadth of experience.

-The key to good note-taking is writing down the essentials. If your prof. puts it on the board or really emphasizes it, write it down. A lot of info will be fluff, so learn how to recognize that so you don't waste your time on it. You might want to consider using a laptop/tablet if that works better for you, though studies show that using pen and paper is better for remembering what you write. Honestly, I would recommend looking up a note-taking tutorial on youtube, getting a book out of the library, or visiting your advisor/academic success center (or whatever your university calls it) for advice.

-As someone who commutes by bus, I completely get this. I try to keep heavy textbooks at home and study ahead in them on the weekend/other free times. Keep essential books to a minimum and try to only brings those you need for that day. One thing that helps is by having all notes in one spiral notebook and delineating each class by a section of that, but that organizational strategy may not work, so feel free to experiment. As for working out, most college's have a free rec. membership for students so all I pack that is shorts and a t-shirt to change into when lifting weights.

-Hmm, other than Amazon, friends, or the other sites I sent you, can't help you too much more. Textbooks are a pain. On the bright side, you have time to figure out which ones you really need and which you don't as you have your first few days of class.

-Most professors have office hours to visit them, and even if that isn't an option email is a very good method as well. As for a good seat, if getting there early really doesn't improve your chances (at my college getting there 5-10 minutes early will usually guarantee a front row one, and as people drop the class you're chances will grow) I would suggest befriending someone who usually gets there early enough to get one, and have them save a seat for you. Being on good terms with your fellow students can go miles in making life easier for you.

Hope that helps!

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OK first things first:

Keep talking with your fellow students. THe most important Thing to become successful at University is to find a group of peers witha  similar degree of ambition. It has endless benefits. You can help each other at organisational things, share your notes or make the hard times easier through having fun together. Me beeing more of a lone wolf at University(because I ahd allready a lot of friends in the area), made it unproportional hard for me to be successful. Be smarter: Connections are important! Create or join a fb/whatsapp for your peers at University where you can ask questions and post cool Events.

Try to prepare your lectures with rechecking last lextures Contents before you go into the next one. And get over yourself and ask questions if things are unclear for you. I know that this is hard because there are so many strangers around. But trust me it is way more engaging if you undestand what is talked about.

Be consistent with showing up, even if the lectures suck.

If you manage to do all these things your life at universtity will be much easier as mine was ;)

I seem to be meeting more and more people every day. Right now I guess I'm just thinking about who I spend my time with as I believe that you are the average of the group of friends you spend time with, I just want to make sure that means I'm still successful. As for your other advice, I will consider it all and then some. Thank you very much you really have helped.

 

- Today I noticed that my capability of copying down the notes in time to keep up with the professor is near impossible (in other words, i have trouble writing all the prof's notes in time before they change the page)
- My binders are really heavy on my bag, as I need to take 3/4 per day. This is also difficult as it results in me lacking space in my bag for other things (lunch, workout bag, textbooks, etc)

- How I can get my textbooks cheap, but fast.

- My ability to communicate with my professors will be difficult, as each class has 300 students on average. and all of them, like me, try to speak with them and camp out the classrooms for a long time to ensure a good seat at the front.

I'll try to tackle these, and feel free to ask for any other college-related advice. I'm far from any kind of an expert, but I've learned a lot of things the hard way so I have a good breadth of experience.

-The key to good note-taking is writing down the essentials. If your prof. puts it on the board or really emphasizes it, write it down. A lot of info will be fluff, so learn how to recognize that so you don't waste your time on it. You might want to consider using a laptop/tablet if that works better for you, though studies show that using pen and paper is better for remembering what you write. Honestly, I would recommend looking up a note-taking tutorial on youtube, getting a book out of the library, or visiting your advisor/academic success center (or whatever your university calls it) for advice.

-As someone who commutes by bus, I completely get this. I try to keep heavy textbooks at home and study ahead in them on the weekend/other free times. Keep essential books to a minimum and try to only brings those you need for that day. One thing that helps is by having all notes in one spiral notebook and delineating each class by a section of that, but that organizational strategy may not work, so feel free to experiment. As for working out, most college's have a free rec. membership for students so all I pack that is shorts and a t-shirt to change into when lifting weights.

-Hmm, other than Amazon, friends, or the other sites I sent you, can't help you too much more. Textbooks are a pain. On the bright side, you have time to figure out which ones you really need and which you don't as you have your first few days of class.

-Most professors have office hours to visit them, and even if that isn't an option email is a very good method as well. As for a good seat, if getting there early really doesn't improve your chances (at my college getting there 5-10 minutes early will usually guarantee a front row one, and as people drop the class you're chances will grow) I would suggest befriending someone who usually gets there early enough to get one, and have them save a seat for you. Being on good terms with your fellow students can go miles in making life easier for you.

Hope that helps!

Thank you very much for giving me insight on all the things I listed!

- I will take note that essentails are key, and I don't have to copy word for word. I'm actually debating on whether I should take a laptop to class, as I do type faster on the comp, but like you said, I may not really learn everything.

- I bought some notebooks and am considering them over binders. I also am able to get a locker for the year for $30 so I'm also considering that for space. And yeah I don't have to pay a thing at the rec. I just show them the card, and I'm good.

- I was actually able to get a few good deals today based on your sites. I also have a friend whos giving me his old textbooks from last year. I'll go into more detail about my textbook situation in the actual journal.

- You are absolutely right in that they are available in certain times, I have their emails too. As for the seats, I actually learned today that I prefer the middle rows over the front (mostly preference, and the fact that I don't have to look directly up at the board.

These all really helped. I have nothing but appreciation for taking the time to give me advice. So thank you @Pierce , and @WorkInProgress for this really does help me with my stuff.

 

Healing Journal Day 18:

So I had my second day of university today, and man it was great, but I did a lot of work today. 

For starters, I have to get up every day at 6:30AM to get to my 8:00AM classes. It's a big task, but I definitely prefer it over taking night classes. My predictions yesterday were spot on, in that we only went over the remaining classes' syllabus, with the exception of a bit of note taking, and an assignment I must do online over the weekend. 
 

I spent lunch with some of my new friends, and met other people in the process. Being with these people in my class really made me appreciate knowing them, and reminding myself i'm not alone in this journey.

The big thing I did today was purchase all of my textbooks. I only got the lab manuals, and my psychology textbook from the university's stores, as the rest were extremely expensive. I was able to find a few books that I needed for much cheaper, and my year two friend said he could get me the rest for cheaper. So in the end I saved over 600 dollars which is great, especially now that I no longer have to worry about getting my textbooks. 

I then spent the evening with my girlfriend where I did some shopping for supplies, such as a new calculator, and then dinner.

To conclude, today was really nice, and I would write more, but I'm really exhausted, and my plan tomorrow is to work on the goals I set for my self on this detox. Thanks for reading, and that concludes day 18 of my healing journal.

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What time are you going to sleep if you have to wake up that early? Do you have a nightly routine you're following?

Actually, I have a daily schedule, including a "prepare for bed" period where I meditate, prepare things for tomorrow, turn off everything, etc. The only problem is I've had trouble sleeping since I was young, and to this day it's still an issue. It was even worse when I would play video games until 5AM. Honestly, it's improving, but it still needs work. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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Awesome, looks great. For sleeping, make sure you have f.lux on your computer and for an hour before you want to sleep you turn off any digital devices. Once you do that, have some tea and do things that are calming to sleep (meditate, write down gratitude list, stretch).

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Healing Journal day 22:

I'm on day three of university, and I'm already being worked to the bone in the courses I'm in. I'm writing this as a form of a break actually, as I have an assignment, a lab, and a bunch of chapters in my textbooks that I have to read over. I was also planning on going over my last year's notes just to remind myself of what I already know.

I met a few more people today, and I started a study group that has around 9 people in it so far, however I wasn't myself today. Normally I am very open, and am very social to everyone, but today I was closed, and couldn't even speak without stuttering. Very strange, but I guess a few factors contribute to this behavior. For one thing, I'm still really nervous about the campus, as well as the workload. I'm also kind of confused as to why some people I talked with seem more closed around me. Granted we were in class, and we only saw eachother for an hour, but I remember talking to them for hours last week. Guess I'm making it unnecessarily personal.

I didn't get too much sleep last night (and it looks like I won't be getting a lot tonight either all things considered), so while I did a ton of walking, as well as walked from my lrt station to my house which is a solid 40 minutes, including holding a bunch of heavy materials, I however never was able to workout at the gym today. I'm at a wierd place with my health, and weight. I'm stuck between trying to build more muscle or trying to burn more fat through cardio. I'm fairly muscular, at least more than most, as I worked out a ton in the last two years, and while I'm not overweight or fat by any means, I made it a goal of mine to return back to my "prime" body. I did join a swing dance club, which starts next week, so i'm hoping if I like that, it will keep me in shape.

While it may seem easy to just ditch my health, in favor of dedicating more time to work and study, I  believe my health is extremely important, since I was overweight as a teen.

I have surpassed three weeks of no gaming, which is awesome. I still regretfully watch gaming videos, I feel most temptations have left my mind, with the exclusion of today because it would have been so easy to ignore all my work and just play some video games, but I know i'm better than that.

My goals for this week are to stay on top of my assignments, meet more people, recruit more people in the study group, and look into more clubs I want to join. To conclude, today was more or less good, I hope that this antisocial behavior is only temporary, and that I can go to the gym tomorrow, as well as start reading my textbooks. It's a long hustle, but it will definitely keep me real busy. Thanks for reading, and that concludes day 22 of my healing journal.

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Focusing on your health will make you study more efficiently. Don't underestimate the importance of taking care of your health for your productivity. It's not "1 hour at the gym" means "1 less hour of studying." Not all studying is created equal. Prioritize your health, trust me. :)

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Be carefull not to overload yourself. Be sure to take some breaks over the day for rleaxing activities not related to University. I know that as a former gamer this seems counterintuitiv(Overactivity wasn't a problem :P). But  productive isn't equal busy. You have to stay commited to your studys in the long run and you don't do yourself a favor if you overextend at the beginning. Good Job on that study group and swing dancing though! 

To your Fitness. I don't think you Need cardio to burn fat. While it burns fat and is good for your heart it isn't necessary an effective Training. If you are allready building muscles I would lay more focus on your nutrition. You can't "outtrain" the calories you consume. Nutrition is the key for becoming lean, not more Training(be it cardio or strength training). I don't know how much you care about how muhc and what you eat, but the best way to loose weight(if you are allready physically active in your lifestyle) is to write down what you eat and track the calories and makronutritients. There are some fine apps and it gives you a feeling of how much your body actually needs. Also eating the "right" stuff can help you get more energy and to stabilize your moods.

The basics for every productive beeing are: Enough sleep, good Nutrition and  regular physical activity. In my opinion this basics mustn't be neglected even if it means you have less study time.

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I did join a swing dance club, which starts next week, so i'm hoping if I like that, it will keep me in shape.

YES!!!

Your future self is thanking you right now, haha. Depending on how fast the songs they play are, it will definitely count as your cardio for the day. 

I await any posts on this subject with baited breath, and if you ever want to talk about this subject/need any tips, please ask ^_^

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Be carefull not to overload yourself. Be sure to take some breaks over the day for rleaxing activities not related to University. I know that as a former gamer this seems counterintuitiv(Overactivity wasn't a problem :P). But  productive isn't equal busy. You have to stay commited to your studys in the long run and you don't do yourself a favor if you overextend at the beginning. Good Job on that study group and swing dancing though! 

To your Fitness. I don't think you Need cardio to burn fat. While it burns fat and is good for your heart it isn't necessary an effective Training. If you are allready building muscles I would lay more focus on your nutrition. You can't "outtrain" the calories you consume. Nutrition is the key for becoming lean, not more Training(be it cardio or strength training). I don't know how much you care about how muhc and what you eat, but the best way to loose weight(if you are allready physically active in your lifestyle) is to write down what you eat and track the calories and makronutritients. There are some fine apps and it gives you a feeling of how much your body actually needs. Also eating the "right" stuff can help you get more energy and to stabilize your moods.

The basics for every productive beeing are: Enough sleep, good Nutrition and  regular physical activity. In my opinion this basics mustn't be neglected even if it means you have less study time.

You are definitely right regarding diet. As of now, my diet is in a good place, or at the very least good enough to where I definitely won't be gaining weight. Would you recommend any diet apps? Thanks!

I did join a swing dance club, which starts next week, so i'm hoping if I like that, it will keep me in shape.

YES!!!

Your future self is thanking you right now, haha. Depending on how fast the songs they play are, it will definitely count as your cardio for the day. 

I await any posts on this subject with baited breath, and if you ever want to talk about this subject/need any tips, please ask ^_^

Haha, I know how much you love dancing so this may have been pleasing to hear. Would you recommend I go into the first session blind, or should I watch a video or two so I don't make a fool out of myself :P? 

 

Healing Journal Day 23:

I got a nice new backpack today, that holds everything more efficiently including my computer which is a relief, because I was starting to have shoulder pain holding everything the way I was. I also rented a locker in my building, but somebody put their lock in my assigned locker, which was funny but I gotta wait two days before that gets sorted. My goal regarding materials is to be as compact as possible, but have everything I need. 

I worked out at the gym today, and while I had a great time as I worked out with my new friends from my classes, I was in a lot of pain afterwards. It didn't help that I got only two hours of sleep the night before.

My lectures were pretty straight forward but I did almost fall asleep in my psychology class, but that's okay because our professor just went over topics I already read on in my textbook. I'm suprised how early in the day I finish. Granted I begin at 8:00AM, but i'm finished by around noon (excluding lab days).  I still plan on staying at the university for a few more hours every day once I have a consistent workout plan, and assort time for studying.

I was dead by the time I arrived at my house, and napped for a few hours because of that. I'm now debating whether I should do some work, or go back to sleep to fix my sleep schedule, which is in a pretty bad place now. While nothing urgent is due tomorrow, I like the idea of me putting in the work and being ahead of the curve as a result. I beleive that people who want success are willing to go the extra mile, to persevere above all odds and come on top. It's an inner conflict to say the least, and any advice would be appreciated. 

I have had a daily schedule that I am suppose to follow which gives me a good outline on when to work, and when to relax, but everything is backwards because of my horrible sleep schedule.

To conclude, I believe I'm on the right track, but If I'm unable to fix things as significant as my sleep, it won't even matter. So here's hoping I can be on top of that. Thanks for reading, and that concludes day 23 of my healing journal.

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Hi Moe, I also love salsa and every other kind of latin dance. I've done a few west coast swing classes as well, too bad they didn't have lindy hop on my city!

It doesn't matter how you go to your first lesson. If you are curious, you can check some videos before going, it might get you more interested! Ah, the first class, so exciting!

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 I was dead by the time I arrived at my house, and napped for a few hours because of that. I'm now debating whether I should do some work, or go back to sleep to fix my sleep schedule, which is in a pretty bad place now. While nothing urgent is due tomorrow, I like the idea of me putting in the work and being ahead of the curve as a result. I beleive that people who want success are willing to go the extra mile, to persevere above all odds and come on top. It's an inner conflict to say the least, and any advice would be appreciated.

 

There's a running joke that there are three things you get to choose from in college: getting good grades, having a social life, and sleep; you only get to have two. I personally believe this is untrue, but it is true that one's social life has to be deliberately put behind the other two. Going to bed and waking up at a consistent time (preferably even on weekends), cutting out blue light from electronics at least on hour before bed (blue light tricks your body into thinking it's still sunny outside, and so it doesn't produce melatonin to make you sleepy), and making sure you get around 8 hours each night are integral for academic success. I really respect that you are going the extra mile, which definitely is necessary, and I am inspired by your drive to work ahead. That's something I value as well, but fall short a lot, so I commend you.

 Haha, I know how much you love dancing so this may have been pleasing to hear. Would you recommend I go into the first session blind, or should I watch a video or two so I don't make a fool out of myself :P?

 

 As one of my friends frequently says, "In dance, there are no mistakes only variations", so don't worry about how you look out there. I would recommend going in completely blind so you can learn the basics from scratch; videos will be helpful later, once you have some familiarity and want to learn new moves.

A benefit much bigger than cardio is increased confidence. You will build a tremendous amount of confidence learning to dance with strangers, and this skill will translate over to when you are off the dance floor. In my opinion, dancing is the social skills equivalent of weight lifting. I'm really excited to hear about how this turns out for you Moe.

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Healing Journal Day 24:

If I could describe today in four words it would be "disappointingly not as planned". I had a lot of goals, and aspirations today, but was hit with many shortcomings, some uncontrollable, most however, were. I'm used to the fact that i'm only human and can only do so much today but if today taught me anything it's that I know I am capable of accomplishing more, yet I've selfishly chosen to do the opposite.

Before I get started, what do I mean by 'accomplishment'? An example of accomplishment (for me at least) is posting on this forum. So essentially if I have a primary set of goals, and I wish to achieve them in a way that will benefit me in the long term, I ask "what can I accomplish today". Going back to the forum example, I know that If I continue to regularly post on game quitters, I will be less tempted to relapse from my 90 day detox. I honestly did not even want to post today because of how ashamed I was, but I thought "Well, if I can accomplish at least one thing a day(being this post), at least it wasn't a day wasted." And while the amount of time, and what you do with that time that is considered 'wasted' is merely subjective, I draw the line in where I objectively look at goals I want to get done, and my success in a day is based on those goals. So to conclude this sandwich of discussion, I did not accomplish much to my objective perspective's liking.  Jim Rohn says, "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment." so perhaps that's what I'm missing- discipline. I'll look more into how I can discipline myself effectively this weekend.  

While I did not nap today, and intend on sleeping very soon, I wanted to finish a few assignments that are due next week. Primarily an assignment in a course that I so far consider to be the most difficult. A disadvantage to purchasing textbooks online, is while cheaper and holding most concepts the same as newer iterations, teachers like to use the requested new textbooks as a form of assignments, so as a result I reluctantly had to postpone working on it until tomorrow so that I may purchase the correct edition to complete my work. While it's annoying, I understand why this is the way it works.

I also was planning to work out today and I did recover enough to feel capable. However I just caved and went home instead. What makes it worse is that my friends were sort of waiting for me at the gym too. I can only imagine what would happen if they ask where I was tomorrow. Do I lie? Do I make an excuse? The last thing I need is for them to believe I'm a lazy individual and as a result won't rely on me for their support in class, and everything else. This may sound like crazy talk, but this kind of stuff hits me on a day to day basis. It has also caused me to notice I haven't been my true self so far this year, yet who am I really? Was 'myself' the gamer I left almost a month ago, leaving me empty? I'm not sure. Or maybe it's just showing another side of me I never knew I had, or even know If I want.

I surprise visited my girlfriend at her high school where she was directing a play for her school. That's actually how we met, through both of our passion of acting and drama. I unfortunately had to put down this love currently in order to focus on my studies. She was happy to see me, and missed me, but I knew that I should have been working. I instead spent over an hour with her when I should have been at home studying and reviewing. This conclusion makes me sad, as I care to death for her, but I cannot help but feel this interaction to her was a sort of give in to my temptations of no productivity. It makes me more sad because it has even made me consider leaving her in order to focus on my studies, but perhaps time will tell, the last thing I want to do is make a rash decision in a heated time of my life. She knows about my journal, and my progress here and has been nothing but supportive. She may even be my last link to sanity, or more importantly, my true self.

I was able to finish reviewing my grade 12 notes which was a goal of mine, however this accomplishment is short lived when considering I made it a goal to have done that over the weekend. Am i saying I could have done it over that weekend, I do not know, as I got a proud amount done in that time, but it's disappointing to think I had prolonged it to over 3 days later.

I realize this has become a ramble of all of my shortcomings, so allow me to brighten the mood a little. While today seems like a painful representation of where I am now, it only lets me think of what can I do for the future.

I'm currently on the right track when it comes to things, like my schedule, and my work ethic. I genuinely believe I am learning more, and more everyday both in myself, and my outside environment. Writing on this journal not only helps me put things into perspective, but can receive support from other aspiring individuals like myself. I accomplish, and write down more and more goals for myself, and I feel this has made me stronger in every way. I know I'm on the right track, and If I want success in aspects such as University, my health, and my Social life, I will achieve them, the primary factor being I have to want them. I believe that if a person truly wants something, they will not waste a breath in achieving whatever it is to aspire. With that being said, I know I'm not perfect, and today is a reminder of that (that that I needed it...).

So will I bitch, and complain on a forum because one day in my life sucked? Absolutely not. I will evaluate what I can do to improve, and in that sense, today was a good day.

So in conclusion, today was a disappointment for me objectively, but I will always use days like this to my advantage, successful, or not. And I know I will not always be successful, but if this journal has taught me anything, it's that it is not a bad thing. We all desire success, but we cannot help but have off days. So yes, today was an off day, but it was a day that will set pavement for more successful days to come. I thank you dearly if you have read to the end (it may not seem like much, but knowing people read this helps me stay consistent), and that concludes day 24 of my healing journal.

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Hey gj on journalling at a day you doesn't feel good about yourself!

I feel like you putting too mcuh pressure on yourself to Change immediatly. It seems like this is the reason why you don't feel like yourself anymore. You don't give yourself enouhg time to adapt. You stopped gaming for around 4 weeks and are dissapointed in yourself because you skipped gym and visited your girlfriend. In a kind I admire your dedication but I really fear that if you miss the balance of enjoyment and work you will crash hard in the futre. If you have a girlfriend you like and she likes you and is supportive be happy! This is maybe not more important than completing university at the moment but it is in my opinion way more important to have people in your life who care for you than beeing an overachiever in your work live. Nothing great is build in one month. You will improve everyday a Little. Adapt a little more to your ne wlife. And after time something awesome will be the result. The game of success is a Marathon and not a sprint. Thats why you don't need necessarily more discipline. You Need a balanced life you like to live, where you be productive anyway. This enables you to stay in the race and thats what matters. Consistency is key. Your disciplin is a limited ressource. But building habits don't need discipline, they just need time and commitment. Thats where the amgic happens.

To the gym: This is indeed crazy talk. Noone will think of you as a lazy Person because you skipped gym for one day. It becomes another story if you do this over and over again. Just be open and admit that you just didn't feel like it but you are sorry that you didn't come to your appointment and that you will text them next time if that happens. To err is human and other People understand this usually if you are sorry.

PS: Sorry for the long comment, got kind of engaged in your Story.I wish you luck!

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Hey gj on journalling at a day you doesn't feel good about yourself!

I feel like you putting too mcuh pressure on yourself to Change immediatly. It seems like this is the reason why you don't feel like yourself anymore. You don't give yourself enouhg time to adapt. You stopped gaming for around 4 weeks and are dissapointed in yourself because you skipped gym and visited your girlfriend. In a kind I admire your dedication but I really fear that if you miss the balance of enjoyment and work you will crash hard in the futre. If you have a girlfriend you like and she likes you and is supportive be happy! This is maybe not more important than completing university at the moment but it is in my opinion way more important to have people in your life who care for you than beeing an overachiever in your work live. Nothing great is build in one month. You will improve everyday a Little. Adapt a little more to your ne wlife. And after time something awesome will be the result. The game of success is a Marathon and not a sprint. Thats why you don't need necessarily more discipline. You Need a balanced life you like to live, where you be productive anyway. This enables you to stay in the race and thats what matters. Consistency is key. Your disciplin is a limited ressource. But building habits don't need discipline, they just need time and commitment. Thats where the amgic happens.

To the gym: This is indeed crazy talk. Noone will think of you as a lazy Person because you skipped gym for one day. It becomes another story if you do this over and over again. Just be open and admit that you just didn't feel like it but you are sorry that you didn't come to your appointment and that you will text them next time if that happens. To err is human and other People understand this usually if you are sorry.

PS: Sorry for the long comment, got kind of engaged in your Story.I wish you luck!

Thank you for your kind, and strong words . I know all work and no play can cause insanity, and going hard on myself is just how I behave, but that doesn't make any of what you say less right. I especially was moved by the comment about "allowing to adapt" I never considered that, and it really is making me think. Btw, You could write a book and I would still read through it so don't worry about how long you comment. I'm all for insight, and perspective, especially if its people dealing with the same scenarios. I feel these comments inspire me to continue my detox. Thanks again!

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@TheBroMoe I get the feeling that you might be like me in this regard, in which being hard on yourself is a way of beating apathy and getting results done. The litmus test would be whether doing so motivates you to do better next time or whether you are just getting demoralized.

You're progressing in so many different areas, its only natural to slip up in some of them occasionally. Looking forward to hearing more about the results of your efforts.

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Healing Journal Day 28:

I'll start with my weekend. I did nothing except work on all of my outstanding assignments, assign dates on my planner (events, exams, etc). I felt as though this weekend was very productive, which was good. 

Today was pretty standard. My first chemistry lab was today, and I will discuss it more below. I ended up getting home at around 6:00 Pm and took a nap as soon as I got home. I work up two hours later and am currently working on two assignments that are both due on Wednesday.

I had four issues with my day today, and I if you have any advice, I would really appreciate it.

1. My physics lecture: I noticed that today was very confusing in terms of the notes, and what we learned today. I hope to be able to go over it soon, but I'm having a difficult time managing time as everything is happening all at once.

I did create a daily work and study schedule, which should help for issues like today, I just want people to see if this is okay/good enough.

Work Portion

  • Assignments/Actual homework: 2.0 Hours

  • Labs: 1.5 Hours

  • Practice questions: 1.0 Hours

  • Polish class notes- 0.5 hours

Review/Study Portion

  • Studying for exams/ reading textbooks 3.0Hours

  • Going over Past and Future notes 1.0 Hours

  • Going through tough concepts/questions 0.5 Hours

 

I originally thought this would be too much since the times accumulate to 9 hours total, but It may be the smallest I can make it in order to do well enough.

 

2. My chemistry Lab: This one is going to take a bit

- So for starters, I found out I had to write a pre-lab that would be due before the start of the lab. Lucky for me, I was able to complete it before my lab, but it really did feel like dodging a bullet as, without that knowledge, I would have gotten a 0 on that assessment.

- I forgot to read up on the Lab beforehand so I moved at a slower pace than many of my classmates but we did work in partners, so like my pre-lab, I got lucky.

 

This lab has made me lose confidence in my capability and ability to be a reliable lab partner, and just a study partner in general. While yes, I do believe my partner and I did an equal amount of work (for the most part), I did feel like I could have done better.

 

The biggest (and in some ways saddest) thing that happened was I saw a bunch of people In my lab all talking, and making friends with eachother, and all around having fun with each other. While I was friends with one of the individuals, as well as became friends with another person, I wasn't really a part of the conversation, and as a result, I never felt more alone. This may seem petty, but it really did take a toll on my mood. 

With the discussion of sociality, this brings me to my next issue with today.

 

3. My ability to communicate, and make friends: I noticed that while it's easy for me to be like "Hi, my name's Moe, it's a pleasure to meet you, how do you find classes, etc." I notice it's difficult for me to really connect with people. I'm not sure if this may have to do with the fact that gaming was a good piece for conversation, but all I know is that its hard for me to have discussions that surpass introductions, and university. This is made apparent by my lack of an ability to be fully engaged in conversation with my group of friends that I eat lunch with, and while I do make comments here, and there (although I cringe every time I do), I feel like its making me come off as antisocial. I did feel hope when I had a pretty genuine conversation with a girl in my group of friends, and in my classes, and I really did feel like I was welcome by them as a result. But It also leads me to my fourth, and final issue/fear.

 

4. My reliability as a student, and a friend: So far, I've been asking for a lot of help from my friends, and while yes that really is what friends are for, and while I do definitely return the favour when I am asked for advice, I feel as though I'm not exactly the "smart guy" anymore like what I once was in high school. This made me feel worse by the fact I was once incorrect in one of my pieces of advice to one of my friends, and while I did correct myself, it made me almost feel as if they were saying "Oh, maybe I shouldn't ask him" to themselves.


I know that most of these are personal fears, but I will try my hardest to fix these issues for the future so that I may improve for the better. To conclude, while today wasn't particularly a bad day, it raised many issues for myself that make me very concerned, and sad. Any advice regarding these would be really appreciated. Thanks for reading, and that concludes day 28 of my healing journal.

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First to your daily study plan. It seems a littel ambitous indeed but that isn't a bad thing. I personally would cut the studying for exams/ reading textbooks part and Focus more on understanding what you do at the moment in classes. If people still use Facebook These days I would start a facebookgroup for your study class. Invite as many people as possible to it and just upload things you need to do or usefull information you found. This is a good topic you could talk with People you don't know allready. The best way to connect with other People is to be interested in them and find stuff you both like. Just ask things about them and take an interest in them. And keep socialising even if it feels strange! It will get more relaxed if you know These people better and then thigns get way easier. Consistent effort will get you there.

Also it doesn't seem as if you take the sutdy part lightly at the time. So try our best to help others and it is enough. Noone would or could expect more. Try to think fo yourself as a Stranger. If he woudl behave like you did. What would you think about him? Most likely you wouldn't mind at all. We are always harder on ourselfs then on others. And that's really a bad habit because you'll Need your own support to get through hard times.

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Healing Journal Day 31:

So it's officially been over a month of no gaming! That means I am 1/3 through my detox! This experience has been fantastic so far, and I hope for it to only improve as time progresses.

So these last few days have been unsurprisingly stressful, and full of work. However, I am happy to establish an IMPROVED sleeping schedule (still needs work, though.). I also began writing in a mini journal of things that I learned that day. For example, yesterday I learned that I should leave a note next to any notes I was unable to finish. By the way, I want to go on a mini-rant: I love my professors but holy they go through their notes WAY TOO FAST. I am lucky to even understand half of what we're going over in all of my classes. Okay, rant over. I'm happy that I have been on top of my assignments and my plan for tonite is to work some more on my assignments that are due on Monday, and I do not have anything tomorrow so I'm not required to sleep too late (but I may anyway nonetheless).

I had a lab today, and while I was warned about how difficult it was going to be and prepared as much as I could, I still feel as though I did not do well. Many people did not even finish! While I didn't do that bad, you can tell how you perform on an assignment. My goal is to prepare more for next week's class and manage my time more efficiently. It didn't help that the lab I had was for my most difficult class.

I actually just got home, and will now get to the good stuff about today.

For starters, I made a lot of new friends today and connected more with the ones I met earlier. So far I feel the most beneficial factor about the university is that with having a good group of friends, you are able to get more support.

Today was also the day of my university's engineering carnival, and I met a few people and signed up for quite a few clubs. The truth is, I do not even know how many of these clubs are ones I am able to commit to since my time is scarce.

Now on to my favorite: My first swing dance lesson. I won't sugar coat it, I danced like complete shit, and man I was awkward with some of the girls, but man I had a TON OF FUN. I met and danced with so many people, and I saw my year two friend there who was volunteering for the first class convinced me to go and I didn't regret it. I signed up for a beginners class that happens every tuesday, and I'm really excited for my next lesson. By the way, if anyone has advice on how to sweat less during dancing (especially palms) please be sure to let me know, thanks!

And for the final thing that happened today was I decided to pick up the hobby of teaching myself of how to play the piano. We have a small electronic piano that is basically the same as an actual one, and I hope to get good with it soon. I've always found the Piano as one of the most beautiful music and have always wanted to play it forever but never did because I dedicated my free time to video games. I just hope I have enough time to learn the instrument now that I have my studies.

To conclude, a lot is happening, at once, and I'm just trying to adapt as much as possible, and hope to get through everything in one piece. Thanks for reading, and that concludes day 31 of my healing journal.

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One month... that's what I'm talking about man! I'm glad that you're seeing large results already.

I now know what I'm going to be doing Tuesday nights, haha. I'm excited to hear about your future dancing exploits, and it seems like you had the right attitude for the first time. As you go along you'll notice the benefits to your confidence both on the dance floor and off. As for sweaty palms: just wipe your hands on the sides of your pants real quick in between songs, but other than that don't worry about it.

It's good that you're checking out other clubs and branching out your friend group as well, really awesome to see.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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