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This is not about gaming - Journal


Reno F

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6 weeks completed!

I started to be consistent with my studies in Japanese. I've been investing at least 1 hour a day studying it. After you get to some level of the language, it starts to get difficult to see the results in the short term, and I remember this when I was studying English. It is good to know by experience that the effort now will have a pay off in the future.

While I was reading today, I wanted to take some notes and again, using the mobile was very inconvenient. Unfortunately, I left my notepad at my room (I'm on a trip now), but next time I'm with my kindle, I will have it with me. Some books are meant to be studied.

This is a short entry, as it is the second journal entry I'm writing today (I have another one in my mother tongue). I will end it here to finish my push-up series.

Gotta plan for the next week as well, keep the ball rolling.

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Day 45

Halfway through. Seems not much, but I'm proud of myself to have chosen this road. Cam often says this is only the start, and I couldn't agree more.

I got back from a trip yesterday and I was glad that I didn't mess with my workout using that as an excuse. I put on 3 kilograms already since I started to workout about 2 months ago but eating right is still a challenge as I have little interest in food. At least I eat healthy (I think).

These days I have been thinking a lot about future stuff and pursuing a lifestyle that I want for myself. Living in the present got me 10x more productive than I used to be when gaming, but I need to have end in mind so I can start working on getting there. Perhaps I need to take action on some project I have, even if I'm not excited about it, so I can see things clearly. I've been thinking about online business as a source of income, but the only matter I feel confident on the content I can provide seems to be videogames, and this is so frustrating. I can't possibly make money by getting people into a situation that I'm trying to get out. Thinking of finding another part-time job at a night bar or coffee shop for the money. It sucks to have a bachelor degree and work for people your don't admire, doing mindless jobs. Guess I'll have to cope with it until I find a way out of this crossroad.

Meanwhile, my daily tasks are being done: studying japanese, practicing the guitar, reading, keeping a journal, studying about online businesses, and house chores. Things to add are creative writing on a daily basis, jogging (still in the to start list), meditation (did three 10-min sessions recently, but not an habit yet).

I finished reading "As a man thinketh", a beautiful book that verses on how the way an individual thinks affects his life and his surroundings. It is a rather short read, you can finishing it in about two or three sittings if you want, and I liked it that way, as the author kept the message short and direct.

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Day 45

These days I have been thinking a lot about future stuff and pursuing a lifestyle that I want for myself. Living in the present got me 10x more productive than I used to be when gaming, but I need to have end in mind so I can start working on getting there. Perhaps I need to take action on some project I have, even if I'm not excited about it, so I can see things clearly. sses, and house chores. Things to add are creative writing on a daily basis, jogging (still in the to start list), meditation (did three 10-min sessions recently, but not an habit yet).

I noticed this is a common topic in the journals. Must of us start the detox but don't have a concrete life plan or goal in life. We usually just have a vague idea of what we want. We need to become more than "mere bundle of wavering thoughts and fluctuating sensations" 

I finished reading "As a man thinketh", a beautiful book that verses on how the way an individual thinks affects his life and his surroundings. It is a rather short read, you can finishing it in about two or three sittings if you want, and I liked it that way, as the author kept the message short and direct.

It's indeed beautiful. One of those books to feed the soul.

Edited by Daniel
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Make sure you give yourself credit for getting to this point. That moment of recognition is crucial for your self-esteem and to build a positive feedback loop for continued growth.

Thanks for the reminder, Cam! I'm winning!

Day 46

Yesterday I opened an old notebook I have and found my old journal entries. What a great found! I had only 5 entries, but I brought me back to the good times when I was too busy to game compulsively. At that time, about 5 years ago, I was working on my fears and building up social skills, and it feels weird when your younger self has something to tell you tht you had forgotten. I had written some principles that I was committed to live by and re reading them now enpowered me so much. There was also another important message, as if I had written to be read in times like now: enjoy the process. I don't know how to put words on the importance that it has to me, except that everything becomes easier when you are having fun and enjoying yourself.

Yesterday and today I spent a lot of time on my guitar, setting it up and getting a good sound from it. I thinking of making some recordings to see where I need to improve, so I had to fix the buzz that the strings had. It is still difficult to find good material on the internet on improvisation, so for now I'm trying to mimic some solos. Right now I'm practicing AD/DC, as my equipment has a good tone for hard rock (and AC/DC rocks).

In spite of that, I still managed to meet my daily goals with the japanese language. I stopped studying grammar, because it is way too easy compared with Portuguese, French or any other latin language. Instead, I focus on reading and building up vocabulary. I remember that I bought a WiiU so I could practice Japanese through games. Boy, who I was trying to fool?

Today I still have my workout and creative writing to do, so I will end it here. To do tomorrow: Japanese reading, Japanese Kanji review, Guitar practice, Workout, Work on a creative project, more research on internet businesses.

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I love opening old notebooks. Did you know one notebook I have had the name "Respawn" written in it as an idea for a product on video game addiction? I wrote the idea down many years ago randomly. B|

Appreciate you continuing to post your updates. I enjoy reading them.

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Day 45

These days I have been thinking a lot about future stuff and pursuing a lifestyle that I want for myself. Living in the present got me 10x more productive than I used to be when gaming, but I need to have end in mind so I can start working on getting there. Perhaps I need to take action on some project I have, even if I'm not excited about it, so I can see things clearly. sses, and house chores. Things to add are creative writing on a daily basis, jogging (still in the to start list), meditation (did three 10-min sessions recently, but not an habit yet).

I noticed this is a common topic in the journals. Must of us start the detox but don't have a concrete life plan or goal in life. We usually just have a vague idea of what we want. We need to become more than "mere bundle of wavering thoughts and fluctuating sensations" 

This is soooo true! That's what I love about this forum and this community. It's full of people discovering themselves.

Games were this distraction that kept us from hearing parts of ourselves that are quieter...more in the background.  Getting rid of that noise not only gives us more time in the day, but it gives us the ability to expand ourselves. To try new things and see what works and what doesn't! It's full of endless possibilities and the freedom and possible future is almost scary it's so exciting.

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Day 45

These days I have been thinking a lot about future stuff and pursuing a lifestyle that I want for myself. Living in the present got me 10x more productive than I used to be when gaming, but I need to have end in mind so I can start working on getting there. Perhaps I need to take action on some project I have, even if I'm not excited about it, so I can see things clearly. sses, and house chores. Things to add are creative writing on a daily basis, jogging (still in the to start list), meditation (did three 10-min sessions recently, but not an habit yet).

I noticed this is a common topic in the journals. Must of us start the detox but don't have a concrete life plan or goal in life. We usually just have a vague idea of what we want. We need to become more than "mere bundle of wavering thoughts and fluctuating sensations" 

This is soooo true! That's what I love about this forum and this community. It's full of people discovering themselves.

Games were this distraction that kept us from hearing parts of ourselves that are quieter...more in the background.  Getting rid of that noise not only gives us more time in the day, but it gives us the ability to expand ourselves. To try new things and see what works and what doesn't! It's full of endless possibilities and the freedom and possible future is almost scary it's so exciting.

 

This is the problem of us who grew up playing videogames. We were too busy achieving the spiritual journey of our pixalated characters that we forgot about our own development. Once we quit gaming we end up not knowing who we are, what do we want or where are we going. In GameQuitters journals this is a very common theme.

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To try new things and see what works and what doesn't! It's full of endless possibilities and the freedom and possible future is almost scary it's so exciting.

100% this. Cam couldn't have found a better name for Respawn.

This is the problem of us who grew up playing videogames. We were too busy achieving the spiritual journey of our pixalated characters that we forgot about our own development. Once we quit gaming we end up not knowing who we are, what do we want or where are we going. In GameQuitters journals this is a very common theme.

It is a lot more about identity, at least in my case. But you hit the nail in the head, no doubt about it.

Yes it's very true. Important to remember that discovering our next steps TAKES TIME and patience is needed, and, you need to proactively work at it too.

Just as developing a skill takes time, I've came to realize that developing your character also needs time. I appreciate your continuous support, Cam.

Thank you all for your input, guys!

7 weeks!

Having a shot of distilled to celebrate it.

Today I promised myself to wake up at 6:30 and go for a walk/jog before starting my day. I usually wake up at 8, so getting up at 6:30 would make my morning much longer. I did woke up at 6:30, but I didn't go out. Actually, I stayed in bed until 7:30, when I went to the toiled and started reading. I'm not disappointed with myself, because I had my eyes open at 6:30. Next time, I'm confident I'll go one step further and get out of bed earlier and soon I'll have my routine adjusted.

I remember getting extremely frustrated when studying japanese before because I often had to look up 50% of the texts on a dictionary. This slows down the process of learning a lot, as no japanese word looks like anything I know from Portuguese or English. And early in the morning this memory came to my mind when I was studying with a dictionary. But this time, I just accepted it as a part of the process and let the frustration go. This makes a huge difference as there is no grind when you can enjoy the action.

My guitar practice was on You shook me all night long from AC/DC. Relatively easy song with some tricky chords. Working on getting the solo right.

After all these weeks have passed, I think I'm already getting comfortable with my routine. Today I got the warning flag telling me that I need to look for new experiences and get out of comfort a little. I still haven't thought on how to do it properly, so this got on my to do list for tomorrow.

I was hoping to start a volunteer job here in Japan, but after hearing the details, I decided that it is not the right moment for it in my life. I would have to pay a reasonable amount for the training, and the workplace would be about 1:30 away from Kyoto by train. I wouldn't have any problem with that, as I would have to commit only to 10 hours a month, but I really can't afford the expenses right now. Instead, I donated a few bucks to Cam's quest in Tanzania. If I die tomorrow, I will die knowing that I helped a community in Africa to have clean water. The pressure is on you, Cam. Make it worth! :)

 

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51 days

I'm writing a bit earlier today because I need a rest after Japanese studies and guitar practice. I spent the day outside, with a class in the morning (I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I teach conversational English to Japanese) and a Toastmasters meeting in the afternoon. As I was cycling back home, there was this desire to turn on the computer and play some games while my wife was out. It is funny how the mind works. This is what I used to do before the detox - throw my "free time" away gaming.

I wanted to come here and write how I was able to get up at 6:30 in the morning and went jogging for 30 minutes. But no, I didn't. I had one terrible night that I couldn't sleep well at all and on the next day I went to bed at around 1am, finishing my workout because I had spent too long on youtube in the afternoon. Some of you might be okay with 5 to 6 hours sleep, but I'm really used to having at least 8 hours of sleep. At the same time, I've had nights that I had slept only 3 or 4 hours. What I mean is that I believe the time issue was just an excuse that I made up for myself to stay some extra hours in bed. So tonight, I'm going to bed at midnight and wake up before 7 next morning and do the freaking run. wth, I've seen people waking up at 4 to do their stuff, it is a matter of honor.

To get out of my comfort zone I decided to start a conversation with a stranger whenever I go out. This is gonna be challenging, because 1 - I'm not really outgoing; 2 - Japanese are generally reserved people; 3 - I'm not fluent in Japanese. But the goal is to test my boundaries and expand my comfort zone an nothing better for that than a good fair challenge, right?

I'll leave here as I still have to exercise, read, write and work on a project. I'll make sure that I'll have a good follow up from what I wrote today.

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Omg, the pic is giant on my laptop screen! I posted it from my mobile, I kind of feel embarassed by it... :$

Anyway, I did it! I went to bed at 1am, woke up at 6:30am left home at 7, ran for about 30 minutes (actually I walked most of the way, because I can't run more than 200 meters without an 10 minute pause. yet). Now that I have honored my word, I set a target to do it 3 times a week. Today was the first.

After lunch I went on rather long bicycle ride near the mountains. It was a great exercise and I had a good time exploring a part of the city that I had never been to. But I was exhausted after it, so I took an 1-hour nap that lasted 2, and I don't feel bad about it. I think I'll skip my workout tonight. Had enough exercise today.

After reading my entry of yesterday, it came to my mind that I could find more students to increase my income by doing something I enjoy, which is teaching. I work for a school now, and they find me students, now if I could find students on my own... something to work on from tomorrow.

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Day 53, I think

I just did a career quiz and I was VERY disappointed with the results. It told me that I'd be a good engineer or some other technical profession. God damn it, just the career I'm giving up. That's not what you want to listen when you are quitting something. If I were to choose, I'd choose to be a PI.

Today, I tried to start a conversation with the cashier of a convenience store, on my plan to start a conversation with a stranger everytime I got out. Just the basic stuff "How are you doing?", etc. I usually did that back in Brazil and Australia, where I lived for 7 months, but in Japan I got used to saying nothing, because everyone else says nothing (I know, it is kind of depressing, but that's how things are in JPN). So when I called the cashier by her name her look was a mix of surprise and joy. We didn't have a proper conversation, but its ok. I'm starting small.

I'll finish this entry now, as I wrote a longer one in Portuguese.

Awesome pic! Looks so Japan. Haha.

Good job Reno, keep it up! Gotta love asian culture

That's Kyoto for you.

 

 

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Well just because you are able to be a good engineer that doesn't mean you have to like it. Find something you like doing and your are good at!

I liked it. I'm re evaluate my answers on the quiz to find out what I'm missing

Start small and build on it. Will visit Kyoto sometime soon. Maybe next year!

Hey, I have a couch here if you feel like surfing. Also, this offer is extended to every member of this community!

Day 54

Nothing really special today. Just kept up with my dailies. Oh yea, and I broke a guitar string yesterday. Too much bending practice. Gotta do some maintenance on the strings everytime I'm done playing. Tomorrow is jogging day. Still gotta plan on how to find new students and sell my classes. Damn, I'm slacking.

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One downside of not writing everyday here is that I often lose sight of how many days I have in. I've actually messed up with the dates before and today I'm on my

Day 56

General thoughts: Level up in real life is indeed kind of slow. Everything I think about doing makes me realize that I lack some certain abilities. I've come to accept that I have very poor skills when it comes to writing, even in my own language. I have started writing morning pages (as it is called) yesterday in order to get used to writing every day. I started writing before as I have already stated here, but I couldn't make it an habit yet. Writing has became very important to me, as I want to work on the internet eventually. therefore I should move it up on my priority list.

What I got done today: I have studied japanese a little bit longer today after I checked how many pages I still had left on the book I'm using. I extended my study time to one hour minimum. I'm also half way on the guitar solo of "You shook me all night long". There is still a problem with technique, I find it hard to do the vibrato, especially when bending a string one interval up. With only 30 mins per day, this song will take me another good week or two. I'm also practicing improvisation on a blues back track. Sounding better now, but still not very musical. I wrote about 400 words longhand this morning and I'm considering typing my pages from now on. I've also got 2 important items done from my to do list. Gotta keep the momentum going up. In the evening, I went for a walk outside, after thunderstorms on the last two days, the weather was quite cool. Autumm is approaching.

Things to do tomorrow: Check on the book "The War of Art" to improve my writing. Write. Send a not-so-important-but-it-is-better-to-send email. Plan for next week. Write. Clean the house. And also of course working out, guitar practice, japanese study and read a book. And write. More

 

Edited by Reno F
weather, not wheater
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