I need help, at a critical point in my life...

[Jake]

Hello I'm jake. I am 15 years old, I hail from New York and I'm kinda stuck over video games.  I first started playing when I was 12 or so, starting with browser games and phone games, simple ones that only would catch my attention for a few hours or so. Playing console games would give me horrible headaches, but eventually my tolerance grew and I could play games like GTA 5 and max Payne 3 for 2-3 hours at a time. Then one of my friends introduced me to counter-strike, and I have logged over 1000 hours over 2 years (playing on weekends and summers only). I believe I am almost completely addicted to it now. I am by nature over sensitive, introspective and somewhat insecure and cynical as a result of my oversensitivity. My parents really love me, but my grades are beginning to tank as my coping method to adversity is apathy, so if someone says something mean to me at school my ego is crushed inside and my conscience viciously attacks me for being weak. Then I stay home from school and pity myself and the whole horrible cycle starts over again. I love history and computers but my weak ego and drive coupled with my addiction and the fact that my parents are divorcing really destroys my ability. I need help making sense of my life. I am a deeply nostalgic person for the early days of my gaming life and for all the Disney classics I watched as a kid, and I don't want to stop the only constant thing in my life (gaming) unless I absolutely have to.

Thank you, jake 

[Cam Adair]

Yo Jake! Welcome to the forum. You've made a good decision to join and post here. You'll find a lot of support from the community.

[gloriousclover]

Hi Jake, huge respect for the guts you've developed to be so open and aware of yourself, especially at your age. I'm brand new to all this too (day 2), and for myself I know that quitting games will lead to a more enriching life. The support I've found here is more impacting than I would've thought, and I hope that is the case for you too, however your journey looks like.

[FarisK]

Hey Jake serious stuff your going through but through your words i sense of honesty and maturity that you understand your emotions. i feel like that is your greatest strength you should improve on is to focus your ability to be self-aware as you are now without putting all the strain all yourself. Alot of people tend to replay bad memories in their head like a record player hoping they will have a sense of closure

What if Spiral, playing alternate situations on your head. but accepting that some things are beyond our control is hardest part but you can plan ahead so the next time it happens you can learn from it faster and not shifting the blame to yourself or others but seeing people as part of a set of patterns and habits

if you ever feel regret or things you've done to others or yourself and can't make up for it simply ask god or whatever you believe in to bless them because when our options run out thats sometimes that's all we can do

I hope that helped, i'm always here to lend an ear. may god bless you on your journey friend!

[Piotr]

In my past, I often blamed myself for things I've done, even more often for things I didn't done. Spend lots of after-school time on piting on myself and even at some point I think that I made myself depressed because of this. Then I realized that this leads to nowhere, piting on myself causes no more, than more pity. It's a dead end or rather closed circle. So break out of it, think more about things that you're good at, than things that bring you down. Just don't give up and be strong. Cause writing here, admitting, means that you're one of the strongest and have great potential. Can't wait to see you rise up

Greetings, Piotr.