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caith

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(read post #3 for a simple run down of my breaking point and why I'm here. Big thanks to Cam for pointing me over this way)

Day 1

My last match of LOL was February 15th a little after midnight. I played one game, got crushed and closed my room mate's laptop, left his room and went to the grocery store. I don't even own a computer that can play games at a decent fps or a TV. I have a Nintendo 3DS that I never use. My life is that baD but I have been working on it. At 29 years of age I can safely say that of all of my vices, gaming has easily wasted the most time and kept me from my potential.

I did some chores. Took a walk, a shower and went to sleep. Woke up late. I worked, I went to the mall and to dinner with my current girlfriend. I got home and did my laundry, took a shower and then took a brisk walk in the night.

I quit going to middle school to play Starcraft. I am too old to be in the situation that I am in, my education, physical health and finances have all fallen prey to my addiction. I am ready to invest my time wisely, plot and execute a healthy plan of living.

I'm sick of it all.

 

Edited by caith
:(
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Extra information:

I smoke cigarettes. I am sober from weed and alcohol. Im 5'11 and I went from 170 to 230 in the last year from not doing drugs I guess. Maybe from dating my gf. In 2013-2014 I quit playing all together and my life got a lot better but I moved into a house where they play my favorite game, League of Legends and got right back into it. I can't take the mindless ranked matches anymore but I sure do think about it a lot.

I have no education except a GED and I deliver pizza.

I have a lot of horror stories with gaming, gaming on drugs and my wasted life. But I am ready to move forward...

Edited by caith
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THE REAL REASON I AM QUITTING:

Over a week ago on the Super Bowl I started up on Adderall again. I have been eating healthy and cleaning up my room and car, both which were trashed out beyond belief. Everything was going well until I combined my medication with playing League of Legends, ended up taking my stimulant at night to keep playing after work which turned into a few all night benders of gaming in less than a week.

Not this again, I'm too old. I've lost jobs and girls and my mind doing this. The easy solution is to take the video games away and I'm only going to be left with healthy stuff to get into like work, reading and exercise. Hopefully.

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Kudos for dramatic title! I love it.

I can relate to your situation as I'm of similar age (30) and have spent a major part of my 20s glued to WoW. Never was all that into stimulants (they crash my mood and energy for a week after each use), but I'm a proud (sober) booze addict.

I'd say the most important thing you can do right now is not to rush everything at once. I know you have an entire list of positive changes you can introduce into your life, but it's a lot better just to focus on one or two instead of burning up all your willpower on a new lifestyle that's completely alien to you. (And failing miserably as a result.)

I also recommend you start doing a 90 days program and try to get an accountability partner ASAP. I learned that just screaming into the void doesn't help much; you need as much structure and support as you can get. I'm on day 16 right now, and honestly, I'd have relapsed by now if not for both 90 days detox and my partner (he really is more like a sponsor at this point).

Please ask if you have any questions and keep posting. This community is great and can really help turning your life for the better.

 

Edited by Marchosias
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Thanks. OK so I have two books to read and I need a partner. Sounds good. Keeping it simple!

I need to take adderall regularly, I am not the most motivated person and have trouble performing basic tasks and functions day to day. They are addictive, but not as bad for me as other things. They help me a lot. 

Gambling really is my worst addiction, but I haven't played since November. It's not as time consuming or compelling as video games and it doesn't feel as good as drugs but the thrill and the risk got me bad. I wish I had all that money back.

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Hi caith,

good you stopped gambling and drugs they ruin enough lifes. Be proud of not gambling for so long I know it isn't easy. It is awesome that you realize your problems and are willing to work on them. This self-honesty is really important. I agree with Marchosias advice, start simple but steady. And realize you are maybe 29, but you have hopefully atleast 40years to go. Now you have the chance to life 40 years how you like!

greetings Mario

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Great to see you here Caith and well done just for being so honest !

I haven't even been a part of this forum a week but I am amazed at how open everyone is here. 
Its really made a difference to me seeing the wide range of topics openly discussed and I am sure it will help a lot !

Your in the right place :) !

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Day 1

Day zero? Relapse isn't good for any recovery community's morale, but I want to set a good example for you young guns by being honest.

League of Legends has me back at it again. As soon as I made this post, I wanted to delete it - I knew I wouldn't last long. It's like I have nothing else to do when I get home bored.. except:

I have 3 books checked out from the library in late 2012 that I've never finished and need to return, not to mention the varying titles I actually own and havnt finished. I have boxes from my move over a year ago still unpacked. My blood pressure is in a very high range and I need to be taking a 30 minute+ walk every night.

I stay up late to play this game and have a dozen errands that need to be ran. The list is long and is something I should be writing down and accomplishing! I didn't want to follow this up like this, but I have to quit for at least 90 days. I have to. I have to. I'm tired of wasting my time doing nothing.

I have to quit!!!

 

 

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You can do it man. 90 days happens one day at a time. It's an experiment to learn more about yourself.

The key is to plan ahead. Start planning things to do in your day, especially when you get home. We talk a lot about that in Respawn which I would encourage you to check out - it will help you a lot.

Writing out your list and getting it down and then starting with something easy builds momentum. Remember, ACTION leads to momentum, not the other way around. What's one task or errand you can do in the next day that will help you feel more productive?

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