"Be open to all outcomes, but attached to none."

none239

Members
  • Content count

    60
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Country

    United States

Community Reputation

20 Excellent

About none239

  • Rank
    Member

none239's Activity

  1. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 62
    Had unsually strong urge to game triggered by youtube. But not nearly as bad as it was in the past. I'm doing a better job of monitoring youtube time.
     
    I have not. This may not be a bad idea.
    Day 65
     
    Been doing a LOT of study on forming an online business, and I took a few, shaky, baby steps. I noticed that my depression has dropped of tremendously.
    • 0
  2. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 61
    Been reading up on how to start an online business, save money, business ideas, ect. Having a lot of trouble with analysis
     
    I feel pretty terrible right now. the past few days have been filled with very high highs and very low lows. But throughout it all I have not had any irresistible craving for games. I want to play games but it's optional.  I don't have to play them. I'm pretty proud of myself for that.
     
    Today make 45 days of no games.
     
    I just came to a realization. Dealing with life long depression is a lot of work. But I've been battling my faniacal problems. I'm still programming and I have not relapsed into gaming again. I've really been beating myself up for doing a good job. That's something I need to look out for.
    • 0
  3. none239 added a post in a topic Does it count if it's not video games?   

    Thank you so much! You could not possible be more correct.
    • 0
  4. none239 added a post in a topic Does it count if it's not video games?   

    This a thousand times this. I realized that I was over worrying about life and writing down my feelings in this post, writing down my bed times so I dont make myself sleep deprived, and writing down a financial plan has greatly removed a lot of the stress. I'm even making a repayment plan for the debt. 
    • 1
  5. none239 added a topic in Relapse   

    Does it count if it's not video games?
    I've gone more than 30 days without playing a single video game. But now I find that instead of playing video games for 8 to 15 hours I watch youtube for more than 8 to 15 hours.
    It's exactly the same as the game addiction. I have no energy and no desire to even try to take care of myself when I watch youtube. The final straw with gaming was after I quit my job. I had lots of bills pilling up but I had no desire to even try to get another job or find another way to make money. Now I'm in debt and I have no desire to do anything but watch youtube. The subject doesn't even matter, Video games, History vids, humor, I'll watch it all. 
     
    Life has not been going so well for me. I've moved back in with my parents and I'm in a fair amount of debt. My mother is paying it off for me but I feel extremely guilty for not being able to pay her back. My family has been torn apart by infighting and a family member I used to confide in is, to keep a long story short, on the opposite side of the conflict from myself. I'm unemployed and I want to start a business but I don't know what to do.
    • 6 replies
    • 52 views
  6. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 59
    Ok I'm sure I'm just addicted to youtube now instead of video games. I feel the same way about it as I did the video games. 
    • 0
  7. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 58
    Been having a lot more depression that usual. It's from the normal sources. Loneliness,money worries, family issues. Watching too much youtube.
    Chart shows that I'm going too bed to late.
    • 0
  8. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 53
    Had to stay with grandfather on day 51 since my step-grandmother had to go to the ER. I was there until about 4 am. Ever since then I've been feeling very tired thought the day. I have not gotten too much programming done.
     
    Will start keeping log of sleeping habits and morning activities.
    • 0
  9. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 50
    Been having some major family issues as of late. I want to play video games but the feeling is totally in my control now. I kind of worry myself since I find myself counting the days until my 90 days are up. I really want to play video games again.
    • 0
  10. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 47
    Just realized that yesterday marked the consecutive  30th day without gaming. Gaming urges are starting to come back but they are completely different then they where in the past. In the past if I got an urge I HAD to stop and play the game. Now it's optional. I'm still going for the full 90 days.
    I do kind of miss the games. I had one early access game that I had my eye on for a year that was very close to it's final version when I embarked on my no gaming journey. My urges revolve around that game. 
    • 0
  11. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 46
    Days have been uneventful. I noticed that I have very low energy levels when I stress right before I sleep. I have an ongoing family issues that cropped up literately right before I went to bed. I feel pretty crappy right now.
    • 0
  12. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 42
    Spent most of last night worrying about debts so I woke up exhausted. I just want to crawl up into a ball and cry.
    Still not getting gaming cravings. At least not as bad as I used to.
    • 0
  13. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day 40
    Day was uneventful again. Spent most if it with my grandfather trying to iron out family issues. Did not program.
    Day 41
    Realtor gave me huge bill for "repairs" that had to be done to the house after I left. I can't pay it. Bill was for a tree that fell on the fence that he claimed the realtor company would cover.
     
    • 0
  14. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    It was bad but the fact that video games where the last thing on my mind kinda makes me happy.
    Day 39
    Day was pretty uneventful. Still need to tell my mother that I'm in debt and I may have to ask her to help me with it. I'm doing a lot more programming and I kinda feel like I'm better than I was in college.
    • 0
  15. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Day  38
    I gave the realtor my keys today officially tying myself  to mom. I felt hugely depressed but again I had no desire to play video games.
    • 1