"Be open to all outcomes, but attached to none."


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About dirkj3

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  1. dirkj3 added a post in a topic I need help   

    I have been watching a lot of videos about no games and so on but I didn't really understand what those people are telling me because of the language barrier.
    iII would like to have someone who can talk about no games or nofap in German but when I asked my brother and my parents they just had no clue and everything they said was so gaming you addict!!
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  2. dirkj3 added a topic in Relapse   

    I need help
    Hey folks!
    I kinda screwed everything I have got because I have been gaming for almost 2 months now.
    I have been caught in gaming due to stress and anger 
    I thought I could combine gaming with real life but it doesn't work at all.
    I aconstantly hiding my phone when my brother or my mum come into my room.
    I do not think that this is healthy. I have been feeling worse and worse full of guilt and shame.
    I have been feeling kinda bad and I tried to convert this feeling of shame into porn or junk food..I feel gaming doesn't have a good impact on me.
    because I am ending up every time at the same spot if Ido not decide which way I wanna go.
    I am real bad in decision making 
    in 6 days I ll write my chemistry final and I don't wanna fail it.but when I go without games then I see how screwed I am and that leads me to I don't now..
    • 3 replies
  3. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Day 6!   

    Day 7
    I am so stressed... since yesterday the energy is kinda down and I cannot get myself to start right after lunch..
    Before that day I got a lot of school things done but now it is dull and I don't look forward to do the exercises as to school and my homeworkout.
    I se the progress that I have made so far but there is  no bigger thing behind it.I am afraid that I could relapse on watching porn or to fap to feel good. I don't want to find fulfilling activities that make me happy but right  now I am stuck in the rough study time for my a level exam which is in 2 weeks.
    Any advice??
    Thank you 
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  4. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Day 6!   

    Thank you very much Cam
    Day 5!!
     I don't quite know how many days. I notice that the longer you do other activities than gaming the decision to to quit gaming is becoming easier because you can see your progress in new activities.
    Probably not as fast as the gaming rewards but they will come.
    For me I notice that I can do more advanced push ups and  I'm getting better at learning Italian. The best thing on moving on from gaming is building up a streak and track what has to be done.
    For example studying for the "Abitur" the German members know what it is like to study for a 6 hour exam...
    So much from me!!
    Take care guys!!
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  5. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Day 6!   

    Day 6! 
    Day 0 Pmo
    i have developed a morning routine  but cannot see how a little activity is fun compared to gaming. gaming was for me omnipresent I gamed lot until last week.
    Today is a day where I am not motivated anymore even though I have a structured schedule.
    MaybMaybe I did too much the days before. but right know I have eaten a lot of candy to push the shame of  The Pmo away.
    I wanted to game but I didn't do it.
    even before I gamed  I have been watching educational videos of how to build a better and stronger discipline and all the great stuff.
    I havhave been ttalking to my brother about the feeling of boredom even though doing something productive.I have done italian and push ups typing and listened to music.
    It was all great until today.
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  6. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Freeletics Team   

    I am a big fan of bodyweight workouts but ,in my opinion, the coach that you casn buy is very expensive.
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  7. dirkj3 added a post in a topic One year! The truth   

    Oh my!
    This is an extremely powerful conclusion you have said there!!
    I have been on nofap for about 40 days until you have described  that  the urges to fap got a lot stronger than before!
    The thing that I didn't  do was to fill the hole with something productive.
    I also find it good that you have filled the post with some of the interior monologue.
    That helps me personally to push me out of a down.
    Keep going!!
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  8. dirkj3 added a post in a topic About to relapse? Go here!   

    It is a very well tool to learn languages.
    Right know I'm learning Italian with it 
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  9. dirkj3 added a post in a topic How to deal with binge gaming?   

    Hey !
    I know how that's  like!
    During my exchange year I heard and read about reverse culture shock but never really.went into it.
    I caught myself playing a lot of games and it went worse and worse after the time 
    I noticed that I am pushing my emotions down because of the "
    everything is better there than here" mindset to allow me to feel less motivated in school.
    Which had an bad impact on my grades.
    Ecapism began and it got worse right now I am kinda waking up being more aware why I game but I'm still stuck in the inconsistency of satisfying activities.
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  10. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Day 6!   

    Thank you very  much for those comment I really appreciate it!!
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  11. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Day by Day   

    Hey Folks,
    i relapsed yesterday ii on my day 11 ish, i have played 6 hours on my phone  im so tired .... Yesterday was tough i have been watching cams videos about  being close to a relapse but it did´nt help me because the pressure become so enormous...  the rlapse occured in the night 
     What have i learned from that?
    Well do not plan too many things because it overwhelms you and then you do not ant to even start the goals.,
    2. The motivation to do something comes with the start of a task.
    3. beating yourself up for your failures is leading you to even stronger urges to game because you make yourself feel bad  it ends up in a binge(like in my case)
    4.Push yourself forward even if you do not feel like it it is like setting yourself new limits which you can gradually achieve.
     tank you cam for the video that you have recommend me.
    I can emphasize with both you and Sam. My questions is how can shift my repressive behavior from games into an open mindset of indulging my emotion with curiosity?
      Thank you very much!
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  12. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Day by Day   

    I don't really now how to motivate myself to continue my journey.
    School is very tough and km putting it off since 3 days. Meanwhile I'm in gym class where we go to a bouldering house close to us..
    I'm pretty tired right now but I'm happy that I have pushed myself above the limit.
    I'm triggered to game like crazy... Also I sometimes eat food to feel not riggeredd anymore..
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  13. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Day by Day   

    Day 11! Hey folks!
    The day was not very productive due to a porn relapse and stress in school.
    I felt bad about it and I don't know whether to count porn as a relapse.
    I notice that I am iirritated and there are huge mood shifts.
    I wantto learn how to deal with those but I am worried about behaving like a maniac being mad to anybody with no real reason.
    Usually I would as Cam said "mask my negative emotions" which is not the case anymore.
    In general the biggest problem was that my emotions kinda override me..
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  14. dirkj3 added a post in a topic Day by Day   

     Day 7 and hey!!!!
    I have finally made it to that day!the week was kinda tough escpecially today and yesterday. ihave done my studies until i could not concentrate anymore i was having a walk with my brother. It was an awesome day. I had some urges today but they come and go!
    i do not quite understand how an urg or a temptation to game can get worse when I repress it...
     I notice that I can focus on a subject longer than before.
    But sometimes i have certain  word associations to my game that i am addicted to... when will that subside?
    Otherwise thank you for your support! You have helped me quite a lot!
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  15. dirkj3 added a topic in Daily Journals   

    Day 6!
    i had a dream about games and i had a lot of urges afterwards and i have browsed through google play... i have not done anything productive besides 3 push ups as a goal for each morning.. Yesterday had abeen a nice day until i got home.
    I have not understand how the willpower will not be used when one have a positive habit going on. I think Reno mentioned something like that.
    • 8 replies