Today was weird, I made some major flaws in hurting my feet for some reason, I can still not fully master them, I have unconvered the reason why I do it though, it's because I find to identify my own emotions and what to do about it, this creates the frustration which leads to me scratching/hurting them. Not an entire loss though because I gained some new insight, and I am still learning more every day about the specific spots of itch which give me an indication of the emotional trigger being pulled. In a way my body is telling me a story about showing me the follow-up of different itching spots.
Even though my feet didn't go so well, I did end up making full use of the day to honor two of my ideals, the first one, is to help others and not expect anything in return, I pick up bikes which have fallen down, when I see them. Also my second ideal, of protecting nature, because nature cannot protect itself against garbage. So i picked up a lot of litter in a forest, on the street and random places all round, I keep it to a routine of 7 pieces of garbage, which I then throw away, followed by 5 more, and then doing no more. This allows me not to go full obsessive mode and at the same time, do feel a little guilty if I do nothing at all. Also I find spiffy things, like full drinks or half-drunk drinks (im not picky/have never been sick in my life, except once from swallowing 16 pieces of gum and once with fever) so I drink them and get some kind of reward out of my ideal, because one thing I don't want to expect or need compliments or praise by others thats not why I do it. Having said that... ideals are a pain.. I really hated picking up the trash, going through my knees/bending my back the whole time and the trash never seeming to dissapear.. or picking up bikes which were binded to poles with too little chain cord left leaving them too high-strung, hard to pick up/straighten down. But I did it, and yes.. the hours or minutes that went in it, were worth it, because afterwards every minute and hour felt richer and I felt like the universe was totally going with me, because later I found a very interesting piece of wood, with a VOC marking on it, this piece isn very old, but the VOC marking is, also the logo is very nice, it has a richness to it as far as emblems go, anyway there was a vase in it too, and since I like to rock some scented sticks, I now have a vase(it aint a vase at all just realized, but yeah no clue what else it could be, maybe a liquor bottle) with a sweet looking box where I can put the vase in when I am done with it, or atleast something along those lines, haven t thought out everything yet.
Also was able to meet some new people, I asked them for some water because the heat had drenched me, and not only did they offer me some water, they welcome d me to their party of people with open arms, and a beer. Eh, I don't think often, so drinking 1 big one was a lot for me, I felt kind of weird having the same one, while they were opening up the 3rd one. but I knew I was doing the right thing drinking it at my own pace, they are interesting people, they live on boats, and I doubt they have had easy lives, something makes me think they deep-rooted problems too when it comes to addictions, which gives me a very profound connection with them, also one of the party members was very like me... sharing some uncanny resemblances, anyhow.. this is it for now, was a good day and I am happy I still did this journal though I got nothing really interesting to share. Also one last thing.. had my first ´desire´ to buy some cig's today, and I think I just solved why I wanted it, the social contact with the cigarette store salesman, the socially accepted ritual of engaging a convo with someone due to the asking or giving of a cig, anyway, it's good I found some explanation for this, because this freaked me out and I didn't want to think of it and just rationalized it away as having to do with the heat/excessive exhaustion through cycling.
ten things which are good/great
10. New found connections/identifcations
9. Epic looking VOC box
8. The feeling of ownership after having cycled with a woodenbox with a vase in it through the whole city, (hour-two hours) and having tied it your bike with rope tying techniques from when you were an 9 year old boy at sail camp.
7. Finding goodies while cleaning trash
6. Looking at some beautifull woman's asses, and not regretting a moment of it.
5. Drawing some pictures in 2 minutes and seeing the results you can come up with
4. The beauty of gifts which you need no appreciation for, and vice versa, getting gifts which you need show no appreciation for.
3. Nature growing and floundering, got some nature on my balcony too, special plants for the bee's, they contain all the good stuff for those little fella's, according to packet I got it from, plants with bee-friendliness are lacking, so well yeah anyway I feel like I am contributing to the eco-system
2. Finding an SD card with photo's from 9 years ago, even though I wanted the SD card for my head-phones, those seem to need micro-SD's, still the photos were a nice/good find.
1. being truly enthralled by music