"Be open to all outcomes, but attached to none."
Nightfall added a topic in LifestyleProcrastination is destroying my hopesHello everyone,
Despite the somewhat desperate title, I am not feeling THAT bad. But it has come to a point where I can't do much because of it.
A member had recommended me a very good book on willpower, however I'll need something bigger : I struggle with organisation, time planning...
As far as I can tell there's several big things that keep getting in the way. For example I find something to do, to focus on, then I work a bit on it... Maybe a few days or a week after, something else interesting pops up, which then replace the project I had.
In the end nothing ever gets truly done as I can't progress enough before the current project get replaced.
What can I do about that ?
Thanks in advance.
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Nightfall added a topic in SuggestionsFix mobile loginHello, it's not really a suggestion, more of a bug fix. On mobile it's impossible to use the right hand corner menu, as the big button "complain" gets in the way.
Just to log in I had to find an alternate way than using the menu.
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Nightfall added a topic in Start Here + IntroductionsSecond and last attemptHi everyone. The name's Nightfall, I'm 21; I've started playing game since I was a kid; my first game was in 2002 or 2003. Gradually, they started to have more and more power in my life. They started to become a coping mechanism with the shit I was dealing with at the time : bullying, lack of confidence, self esteem... I spent somewhere near 10 000 hours in them. The biggest one was a MMORPG, and I wasted too many time on it... the only positive thing was that thanks to it I'm very good in English as long as you don't give a fuck about accent. But then for 10k hours I'd probably could have gotten more.
So why is it my second attempt and last attempt ? The first time, I was half-assing it. I had other issues to deal with. So I had relapses, and I didn't deal with the real consequences of it. And it being in my life for over 14 year it wasn't going to be easy. I made friend thanks to video-games. I live thanks to them. If I know so much about some stuff it's thanks to them. But then, I don't have any friend. There's that guy I talk with sometimes but I rarely ever see him. I didn't do enough to deal with the problem and I had huge binges. The truth is I was never a hardcore gamer, I played maybe 2-3 hours a day max (except in holidays, where it was maybe closer to 14 hours). I never missed school because of them, even though I failed classes because of them.
I might as well tell my whole story on that. If you can get easily triggered, skip to the next paragraph. I gradually moved from Transport Tycoon, Rayman 2 and Expandable onto RuneScape, which I estimated took me 5k hours. Then games like FEAR 2, Left 4 Dead (1 and 2, despite claiming I'd boycott the 2), some indie stuff like World of Goo, then COD Modern Warfare 2, MineCraft, Supreme Commander Forged Alliance...Bioshock 1 and 2, Prototype 1 and 2, man, so many hours wasted... Half-Life 2 and probably a tons of other games. Also the Sims 2 and most of the so-called addon. I wanted to be somewhat chronological but it doesn't matter.
Fast forward 3 years ago : I have a huge exam approaching which will decide if I pass or not and if I will be able to continue my studies. I used to have good grades, but that was when my parents made me do my homework. Then a year they stopped any kind of effort on that. I continued school without issues (getting less involved into it) for two years and started falling behind. Then there was that year I failed. Paradoxically it was also the year I did a lot of thing regarding self-improvement. I wanted to get a GF, I succeeded but I could never keep them. My life was a fucking mess.
Yet I didn't do anything about games. I managed to get a few friends, but it was short lived as I lost them all for various reason.
I want to change my life. I'm into computer science, but I want to cut myself from games, completely. To get out of it. I've wasted so much time, I could have lived so much things if it wasn't for those games...
So hopefully I'll stay here as much as needed. I'm going for the 90 days at first, and I'll see how well I do. Thanks Cam for this place by the way.
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