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gabrielmaran

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  1. I know I will be posting here like a fool and no one will give a crap as always, but I really need to take it off my chest.It doesn't matter how you try to make a relationship durable and serene, the more cautious you will be, being more cautious makes it like a game of chess, one word can destroy it all.One.Word. The real problem is with people's ego and the ability to recognize it's own errors. Pride makes everything so difficult and painful that even when someone apologizes it don't, with that one word or action, you make an irreversible damage and it will never be the same again, she/he will never treat you or love you as the same before and it hurts so much to know that. It hurts to know that I've done that. The worst feeling is to know that you degraded and helped that damage to irradiate areas that shouldn't be affected. This time, it was your fault, you were the one, you helped it take a step to the end, it doesn't matter if it was a long or a short step, but it was one and It's never going back. But the worst feeling is knowing that even when both sides are wrong, only one apologizes. Not in the mood right now to translate everything I'm feeling and thinking to English as it is really hard on some words, but I'm a little bit better.
  2. Hello there! 17 days now without games and I just don't them fun anymore, not even interesting.I have been studying a lot and I'm pretty busy. Just making sure to keep the diary alive and show that I'm compromised to make a better and happier life for me :)) DWG: 17 days
  3. Urges are coming in strong now, this is really common when I finish studying, reading and I'm a little bit tired and looking for something to do.My GF who is my only supporter IRL is the one really keeping me away from games, she encourages me a lot.I'm really happy to be with her and I love her a LOT :)))), if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be finishing my 5th book in 3 months, wouldn't be here and wouldn't be studying to follow my dreams and getting to USP (the #1 college on the national ranking). The real problem, really, are my urges, they appear out of nothing, sometimes I'm studying History and read the word ''raid'' and BAM, RUST, then all the time I spent there is remembered, for example.Or when I just hear any word that relates to a game the urges come in hard and It's really difficult to control. I need to find something to do when I'm tired or have some spare time like this.
  4. Thanks, Cam! I think I will get to a great College!
  5. Hello again! my performance in studies raised from 40~60% to 60~84% since last year this shows how anxiety can degrade studies, mainly addiction. Went to the cinema yesterday and watched The Revenant, pretty sure Leo is having it's well-deserved oscar finally, lol. Tested my urges and went to Steam website (I uninstalled everything on my first day) and couldn't find anything interesting or cool as I always did which is good.My perception is increasing and I'm getting good at noticing small details(IRL, obviously). DWG: 11 days (sorry if my writing sucks, I'm working on it)
  6. Thank you, Cam! I'm feeling proud of myself :), sometimes I get some urges but they go away as fast as I remember all the good things that are happening!
  7. Hi! I'm incredibly impressed by the fact of seeing the results after like 9 days without gaming!, I don't make things in a hurry because I have to play, my memory and attention boosted 100% as I wasn't distracted thinking of game strategies.Having some improvements in studies and reading speed (almost finishing 1984!). I'm not posting anything too personal here because I can't trust people a lot, I'm using my real name, I'm shameful for my addiction and don't want to be recognized..., I'm not too good making huge texts as I don't have much to say now, but more updates are for sure coming DWG: 9 days
  8. Hello world! on my days without video games I'm feeling a lot of self-control, went out with my friends and wasn't anxious about going home and playing, which was very nice because I was very sociable with everyone and made like 4 friends in one night!, I talked to my father a lot too as I wasn't gaming and had free time, my GF is noticing that I'm giving her more attention and is happy about it, BUT I'm still wanting to play because I had so much fun with the stories and friends I had, with all the laughs and discoveries, that for sure brightened my sad days, but seeing the results that quitting is giving me put me in so much doubt and sadness because I feel like a junkie or someone depriving himself of having fun because of no self-control , I'm really confused right now but I'm going on for now. DWG: 8 days
  9. AAAND replied to my comments on youtube and on the post on how to quit gaming
  10. I ahve the same hope. I think so far my english is not better then before. But i feel less ashamed to write and speak in english. I count this as an improvement Yes!! me too! this is one of the many improvements that i hope to make
  11. Hi, Cam!! I think that you won't remember me but we've talked like 4 times before! I'm finally trying again quitting games! this time, it will be for good, I think I'm finally getting it! you are going to see me a lot here now Thanks for helping me overcome this again!
  12. Starting this journal with some Arcade Fire playing in the background, really hopeful for this step as I'm going to experience life as it is now, no more running away, to be sincere I was downloading a game but then realized what a stupid thing I was doing and canceled the download, this really made me happy because it was almost instinctive, I am replacing my love for games for books and I'm really managing to do this! I have read 4 of them in a span of 3 months! I won' t be adding daily pages because my life is really boring right now (studying over and over), but I'm making entries as I see fit.This journal will increase my fluency with English too, I hope!. DWG (Days without gaming): 6 days
  13. Hi! if you clicked this post I'm at this moment staring at the screen for the past 30min thinking of how to tell my video game addiction in a short way that is not going to get you bored, well, anyway, I'm Gabriel,19, I'm from Brazil and I have an addiction that I have since 7 to 8 years so yeah it was almost my entire life and I'm really shameful of it, I have a pretty long history that explains everything but I'm going to keep it short and skip to the present. I tried to quit games for the 2nd time now, the first one was almost unintentionally when I formed a band, it was magical, the joy and the fun of playing in a band and feeling the music are unexplainable, I stopped gaming for almost 4 months but started again when the band ended, then I started to play so much that it made my studies to get into college useless, I failed the exams miserably even though I was studying last year every day, but the thought of games was so strong that never got me concentrated on doing things that matter.This addiction is slowly degrading my life, my GF is always getting late replies on WhatsApp (5min to more than an hour) and this is affecting our relationship as she is one of the only people I really trust, some members of my family are passing away and I didn't spend enough time with them.I think that quitting gaming is a major step in my life to finally become who I really want to be!, anyways, if you made it to the end thank you for learning a little bit from me and I hope we get to talk about a lot of things! I'm keeping a journal here to mark my progress and register things that I want to so if you want to come by I will put a link here right after I make a journal post EDIT: My journal!: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/1382-gabriels-journal/
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