JustinG

Today will mark a week without gaming again. I was extremely close to relapsing a couple days ago, in fact I was at work at full out convincing myself that I should just give up and play, but I stuck through it and reminded myself of the importance of a 90 day detox. Went to school today for a bit and worked after. No work tomorrow so I need to be at school for a decent bit. I'm pretty tired, things feel a bit pointless right now, but I understand that this is a drastic change in my life and it will take time to heal

Nop. You are smart enough, I have huge cravings too. What does help, is that you schedule your time a day before. Try to not leave any void spaces, and if you do so, use these to go on a walk or watch a movie that is on your watching list. Movies might not be the best thing because they are also addicting, but because they don't give you that many serotonins as games do, they are much easier to quit. On my first try to quit video games ( I didn't play for 1 1/2 years), I watched a huge amount of movies and series the first 30 days, because I didn't have any energy to do something else, however I replaced it when the energy came from working out and eating healthy. You got this budy, don't give up. You realized that gaming is not for you, so you already made a huge step Thank you for the encouraging words I'm on my 3rd day now and I've been pretty occupied with working. I struggle a bit with cravings at work, like I really want to just sit down and game after working, but I know I can't. I'm off work now and I might go play basketball in a bit, and I'm watching a hockey game at 7 so I should be pretty occupied for the rest of the day

God I'm a mess. Restarting... Again... Embarrassing that my last post was so serious and yet I went back to gaming like a day or 2 after writing it... I need to smarten up or it's never going to get better

So I ended up relapsing a couple of days after I made my last post here. I avoided the forums and subreddit because I knew that going back to gaming was bad, but the urge to game was strong enough that I gradually convinced myself that, once again, I should just moderate it. It was March break, I had a few days off so I told myself "just play for 2 hours a day and it will be fine". Yeah, never happened. And again my family was telling me that I should just go back to gaming as long as I moderate it.. Well, here I am again, depressed and just feeling like shit because I'm spending all of my time gaming when I'm not at work and I'm still barely going to school. I'm doing nothing with my life... So today I start again. I'm so tired of fucking up and convincing myself that I should just go back to gaming. Let this time be a reminder that in ANY circumstance, for me, gaming is at least a significant contributor to why I'm doing nothing with my life. When I decide to game constantly other than going to school, or going outside, whatever it be... IT'S A PROBLEM. When I try to quit gaming and I end up going back quite early in, THAT IS A PROBLEM. I have a problem. And I have everything in front of me to take steps to tackle this problem. Now it's time to finally take action and stop living in this constant cycle of feeling like a complete fuck up

Day 7 is done. It's officially been a week with no games! I'm happy that I've made it to this mark. The cravings aren't too bad at all but I've been really occupied with work and just going out. However I've still been very stressed. I want to start going to school more but I've struggled for a while to just get up and go to it. I feel like my job is making it even harder to go. I was planning to go yesterday (btw I go to an adult school - you can go in anytime you want during 8 am to 8 pm tuesday-thursday, and 8 am to 3 pm monday and friday) but work called me on Sunday and instead of working 4 to 10:30 on Tuesday, they asked me to work 9 am to 5 pm instead. They also asked me to work Friday (6 pm to 10:30 pm) which is a day I was supposed to have off. I said yes... So I'm stressing out hard. I don't know how I'm going to continue doing this because I feel like it's really taking a toll. I'm glad that it's actually making the no gaming process arguably better because I'm occupied, but my education is lacking.

Day 5 complete. Worked from 8:30 to 3:30 and that filled up some time. It was hard getting up for it but I'm glad I did it. Today was okay, I craved videos games after I got home but it's been better the past couple hours. Feeling very determined this time

Day 4 is hard. Weirdly enough it's not even really related to gaming. I just reallllly don't want to go to work tonight til 10:30 and then start work at 8 am tomorrow. So I have to sleep right away when I get back from work tonight which stresses me out because I love having a bit of free time especially at night. Just sucks... In general I just really hate my job. Or working as a whole... I don't know lol. Might give a quick update tonight.

Done with day 3! Today was a decent day emotionally. In terms or productivity I really only went to work and rearranged some things in my room. I'm adding to my schedule after making this post. School needs to be a higher priority and I intend to improve on it. Emotionally, I felt very positive especially before work. I reassured myself that things will be okay and that it's very beneficial to my well being by not gaming. The cravings also weren't nearly as bad as yesterday. This is the first time in a while where I feel like I'm actually going to do this. I know I'm still very early in but I'm utilizing more tools than I ever have to stop gaming (journal, talking to people, schedule, etc). I can do this and I will do this as long as I put forth actions towards achieving the goal.

Day 2 almost complete. Today was a lot harder than day 1, as usual. I didn't have work today and I was dumb and didn't go to school. So I didn't do too much, although I did go out for a walk and I visited my aunt and then my sister. The cravings got really bad around dinner time. It was pouring rain outside, and I especially LOVE gaming when it's raining. Weird, right? I just admire the rainy atmosphere when I'm beside the window on my computer. It feels cozy I guess. So that sucked... But I'm glad I kept control of myself. I really need to make that schedule. I downloaded a schedule app (TimeTune) but I haven't used it yet. Maybe I should work on that tonight.

Thank you for the words guys. I would love to make a schedule. I'll go through the play store now and download a schedule app. Today has been okay so far. After I decided to start this journey again, I cleaned the house for my mom and it made her so happy. I hope I can continue to do this for her. I felt more... Alert at work today. Maybe it's because I haven't smoked weed in a few days, which I also intend on quitting because it was a daily thing for me. I was worrying a bit about what I'll be doing tomorrow. I do need to go to school so that will take up a bit of time. No work til Thursday. Day 1 complete, bring on day 2!

It's currently 2:20 pm and I work tonight at 5:30 til 10:30. I struggle very badly with working (dwelling it, hate being around people, feeling like I'm not good enough - I'll extend on this later), so I'm nervous about not being able to game after I'm done work. Mainly due to the fact that all I really did was game... it was essentially something I rewarded myself with after finishing a day at work. It will be interesting trying to find other hobbies. I'll try to post something tonight after work

Hey there! I'm excited to post a (hopefully) frequently updated journal on how things are going without gaming. As of writing this, I'm on day one. I hope to at least accomplish the 90 day detox; I hope I end up going over 90 days. If I'm able to reach 15 days, that will mark the longest I've gone without gaming since I started actively at the age of 12. I'll probably update this post with some backstory later on. Thank you all for checking in and helping others and I throughout this difficult journey.