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GoodJob

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About GoodJob

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GoodJob's Activity

  1. GoodJob added a post in a topic GoodJob journal   

     
    thanks, regular robert. thats exactly what im doing now.  im thinking that i could have had everything right now and i should do everything but end up doing pretty much nothing. plus im stil fighting this feeling of meaninglessness every morning
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  2. GoodJob added a post in a topic Quitting Gaming   

    i have tried quiting so many times and failed, because i had nothing to replace it with. you have to work on that aspect the most, find other things to do
    • 3
  3. GoodJob added a post in a topic GoodJob journal   

    yesterday i felt especially bad, like the worst day so far.
    i pushed myself to run in the morning, but it didnt help much  and i actually went to a mental clinic, people really wanted to help me, but it seems like they didnt know how. But even just doing something, and being there helped me alot. seing that people are willing to help and im not alone is alot. i will be receiving a call later this week for some kind of follow up. rest of the day i got hopeful. I saw that im not stuck forever in that vegetative state and it made me happy for the 1st time in 7 days. Was making alot of plans for future, visualizing my recovery success. I can see that i need to things outside of the comfort of the house/computer environment, as when im around it triggers my old memory of gaming times.
    came back home late, browsed a few motivational videos, meditated and went to sleep.
     
    what i did well : walked ALOt, more than  i did in the past month, went to a clinic, run in the morning, meditation
    plan for today : sign up for gym.
    • 3
  4. GoodJob added a post in a topic My sad story   

    i cant lose now.... ive done multiple attempts to quit before i remember i threw away warcraft 3 cd like 5 times, but went to the store and buy it again after a week . and those attempts were less and less numerous with time. and i m thinking now, maybe its not about games reallt in my case, maybe im just a chronic procrastinator whos afraid to make changes, but at this moment i see no light in doing anything at all, before at least i saw purpose for doing things and struggling... wish i knew what to do right now, im in so much pain
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  5. GoodJob added a post in a topic My sad story   

    thank you so much , guys, i need all the motivation i can get now. i just need to know that im not suffering for nothing because i feel like i will just hurt myself for no reason and its not possible at all. And i will never be able to find anything more fun, even though i myself know isnt true, because even during my obsession when i went to spiritual retreat and camping/ traveling i didnt even think of games. but right now nothing seems enjoyable at all... wish i was 22 again
    • 1
  6. GoodJob added a topic in Daily Journals   

    GoodJob journal
    hi everyone. I intend to keep this journal for 90 days at least to track my own progress. and i know it will be very hard, but i will do it
     
    starting it on january 19, its my 7 th day of detox, and i feel hopeless pretty much, went to sleep yesterday in  good hopeful mood, and woke up with a devastating feeling of hopelessness/ emptiness. im used to waking up in the morning and run to the computer and play games/browse videos all day. i now i need to change. and while writing this some thought came through my mind. maybe its not about gaming in my case, maybe its the necessity to make change, to get that job, to start doing practices, to sign up for a gym all the things i HAVE to do and im weak, i feel like i cant im not used to work and i have to and this is exactly what makes me sick wen i think about it. i put myself in position when im broke, alone and have no job and im not playing games and with so much time i must do something , but everything is overwhelmingly hard. maybe im just one of those losers. i didnt have that a month before, and i had power to stop annd do at least something, i used to go to the gym. Whats happening to me , anyone experienced anything like this? i feel like i need to do something, but at the same time i will throw up if i do...
     
    edit: i ve been running in the morning since i started detox, but yesterday and today i had to force myself out pretty much. i felt decent, but once i came home this feeling of doom just came back, maybe i should relax and play a game, what if im just torturing myself nor no reason?
    • 7 replies
    • 85 views
  7. GoodJob added a post in a topic My sad story   

    i would like to ask something right away. this is my 7th day not playing games, and i feel like i cant possibly change.
    i have specific plans, that i need to go sign up for a gym, i need to continue learning programming/coding, and ii know what i need to do but i just cant make myself do it, its like there is a wall that prevents me from doing it. i started freecodecamp courses on java/web development and it was fun, i did that for few days straight a mointh ago when i wasnt quitting gaming, and now im in this vegetative state when nothing exists in my life . Maybe if i just allow myself to play those games i will be doing at lreast something, maybe my brain will never let me go until i do? how do i know it will. i feel like theres so much i have to do and its so hard and i can never succeed i mean im 35 and it will take few more years to learn any new trade and ill be 40 then, and 40 is pretty much old man already... thinking about it makes me physically sick... maybe im just like this, i cant change some people are just not ment to succeed, maybe i should just enjoy what i have that gives me pleasure, maybe e i dont even have a problem at all.... im losing my mind here
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  8. GoodJob added a topic in Start Here + Introductions   

    My sad story
    hello, brothers and sisters,
     
    im a 35 years old addict to computer games.
    i've been playing computer games since i remember myself, for all kind of reasons that are irrelevant to me now.
    it became especially rought when i moved to canada in my early 20s, when i had no friends, knowledge and skills. so i played games on a computer at my spare time, instead of hustling for myself. i had a vivid idea , that i need to get some kind of job/ an activity in my life, that would supplement my gaming desire, something i can do temporary and use the rest of time for games. so i desided to learn stock market/trading. i was actually learning skills on and off while playing games and working in construction to save up initial money to start trading. After a few years, i saved up around 30k and quit construction to start doing trading, but i found out that its actually a very time demanding trade, and its a very boring thing to do, and i very quickly lost interest.
    so i started gaming instead full time, i was in late 20s then and thought that i stil have a ton of time to do anything i want, so i ended up playing games all day long, morning to evening.
    my expenses were very low, so i played for like 5 years non stop, i made many attempts to quit, when i realized that this is seriously wrong, but i inevitable came back to playing after a few days, mostly because i had nothing else to do instead.
    and this continued until recently, 12 of january, when i looked clearly at my life and what i did with it, and ive fallen into a massive depression of my lifetiime, and after 4 days ive found this website. i am starting a journal here, as many people advised me on reddit.com/r/StopGaming/ so i can track my progress in this fight
    thanks for your time
    • 10 replies
    • 144 views