"Be open to all outcomes, but attached to none."
GoodJob added a topic in Daily JournalsGoodJob journalhi everyone. I intend to keep this journal for 90 days at least to track my own progress. and i know it will be very hard, but i will do it
starting it on january 19, its my 7 th day of detox, and i feel hopeless pretty much, went to sleep yesterday in good hopeful mood, and woke up with a devastating feeling of hopelessness/ emptiness. im used to waking up in the morning and run to the computer and play games/browse videos all day. i now i need to change. and while writing this some thought came through my mind. maybe its not about gaming in my case, maybe its the necessity to make change, to get that job, to start doing practices, to sign up for a gym all the things i HAVE to do and im weak, i feel like i cant im not used to work and i have to and this is exactly what makes me sick wen i think about it. i put myself in position when im broke, alone and have no job and im not playing games and with so much time i must do something , but everything is overwhelmingly hard. maybe im just one of those losers. i didnt have that a month before, and i had power to stop annd do at least something, i used to go to the gym. Whats happening to me , anyone experienced anything like this? i feel like i need to do something, but at the same time i will throw up if i do...
edit: i ve been running in the morning since i started detox, but yesterday and today i had to force myself out pretty much. i felt decent, but once i came home this feeling of doom just came back, maybe i should relax and play a game, what if im just torturing myself nor no reason?
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GoodJob added a topic in Start Here + IntroductionsMy sad storyhello, brothers and sisters,
im a 35 years old addict to computer games.
i've been playing computer games since i remember myself, for all kind of reasons that are irrelevant to me now.
it became especially rought when i moved to canada in my early 20s, when i had no friends, knowledge and skills. so i played games on a computer at my spare time, instead of hustling for myself. i had a vivid idea , that i need to get some kind of job/ an activity in my life, that would supplement my gaming desire, something i can do temporary and use the rest of time for games. so i desided to learn stock market/trading. i was actually learning skills on and off while playing games and working in construction to save up initial money to start trading. After a few years, i saved up around 30k and quit construction to start doing trading, but i found out that its actually a very time demanding trade, and its a very boring thing to do, and i very quickly lost interest.
so i started gaming instead full time, i was in late 20s then and thought that i stil have a ton of time to do anything i want, so i ended up playing games all day long, morning to evening.
my expenses were very low, so i played for like 5 years non stop, i made many attempts to quit, when i realized that this is seriously wrong, but i inevitable came back to playing after a few days, mostly because i had nothing else to do instead.
and this continued until recently, 12 of january, when i looked clearly at my life and what i did with it, and ive fallen into a massive depression of my lifetiime, and after 4 days ive found this website. i am starting a journal here, as many people advised me on reddit.com/r/StopGaming/ so i can track my progress in this fight
thanks for your time
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