"Be open to all outcomes, but attached to none."

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  1. Piotr

    That nagging as you said, stigma and complaining: "look who's out of it's room". Definitely made me game more. What's worse, it made me isolate from my family because I've didn't felt save with my own family. It was a kind of "closed loop".

    What they could do better? Be more supportive and lovable instead of hateful and nagging. 

    Sad but true. 

  2. Simms

    Day #35 - Sunday

    Got up and just couldn't shake the exhausted feeling. Been working long days, was up early for skiing yesterday. Lots of workouts... but needed to get work done.

    Got into work at 10, stayed til 6. - Pretty solid for a Sunday. - Lots of progress, still a mountain of things to get done. Choo choo next week! - I may drop down to journaling every second day.

    Climbing class was excellent today. - We learned a few moves that could change the way I approach a lot of problems. There's some 5.10b's that I climb the normal sequence and it takes a lot of effort. I climbed using the techniques and skipped probably half the holds without any appreciable difference in efforts. It's a lot more efficient and faster. If I can apply it to more difficult climbs it'll be a game-changer.

    Came home and read through a few journals before sitting down to write. I got really annoyed by something destroyah wrote in @Schwing's journal and just couldn't leave it alone. I feel like the guy is spreading negativity in every thread he touches and it brings me down. My initial approach was to try and accept him point of view, and ignore it if I couldn't contribute to it in a positive way myself. It's hard to ignore when Sabrecat stopped posting after a reply from destroyah, then d1rty stopped posting after a negative flyby from destroyah. - It's confirmaiton bias. I don't like his posts, so when I see people I like stop posting and he's in the thread I blame him... but it's the kind of juvenile existential bullshit that makes a community worse.

    I was part of a writing group in Edmonton. - The founder of the group came from a comic book group. He left the comic book group because it stopped being about "discussing the form and creation of comics" and it became kids making jokes about anime and talking about their favorite pokemon. Some people would say: Well it's a comics group, that's okay right? - It is, until that's all you focus on.

    If you're here and you're not thinking about quitting gaming... quitting mindless surfing... and improving your life. Why are you here?  For me, work and working out are part of the process of getting over games and they dominate my journals. I see a lot of people discussing drawing, philosophy, coding, and school. All great topics. All fantastic ways to improve your life. I implore anyone reading to make sure they revisit that they're also here to support others in their primary goals of quitting gaming, and improving their lives. When you're just treating this place like a clubhouse, it's time to revisit your goals and get back to work.

    Gratitude journal

    Tadashi for sweet moves.

    One amazing thing that happened/I did today

    2 takes on the hard 5.11c project.


    Climbing - 2 hours

    Reading + taking notes


    What went well today:

    Good work, good journaling.

    What I could have done to make my day better:

    Could have ate better. - Too much pizza and cola.

    Misc thoughts and plans:

    Plan of action for Sunday: **Deferred one week, aim is now to have a roughly 1/2 way mark check-in** Re-read old journal posts... time to reflect.


    Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

    Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - Sadface sadface sadface - This week marks my first of not achieving my workout goals. Only made 2x climb and 2x stronglifts. - Need to pick it up and refocus next week.

    Journal daily - So far, so good.

    Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 25 day streak - Back to feeling good.

    Monthly Goal

    Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

    Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

    NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

    3 Month Goal

    Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

    NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

    Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

    Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

    Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

  3. Simms

    Day #34 - Saturday

    This one comes a day late. Life has gotten insanely busy. I think if I was still gaming I'd be completely dropping the ball on my responsibilities. Instead all the plates are still spinning, and even the ones that are wobbling aren't in bad shape.

    We got to Sunshine early and ran into some acquaintances at the base of the gondola that I'm hoping will become friends as time goes on! It's the second time in a week we've just run into them out doing activities... we share a lot of the same interests. The problem is I always have another commitment going on so I can't stick around and chat. Just dropped him a line on facebook. They seem like great people and would be fun to get out and do things with.

    My friend is a solid intermediate snowboarder - but a bit out of shape.  On our third run of the day we came down a blue and I motioned for him to take a out-chute to avoid the toughest part of the run. I saw some fresh powder down a shoulder that I usually never ski, so I thought: "what the hell" and hit it fast. - Trouble was there was a cliff... so I dropped that, absorbed it in my knees with a bit of a wumph. - As I'm recovering I realize there's another cliff immediately. Wasn't set for it at all and ended up landing basically sideways on the ground and bouncing off my shoulder. My bicep ended up taking a lot of the brunt too and was super unhappy. - Not a good scene, it's really sore today - being Sunday.

    Through all this I dust myself off and head a little ways down and watch my friend come down. He's cruising along no problem, goes out of view and I expect him to pop back up... a minute goes by.... 5 minutes... I'm like, wtf did he go around the other way? So I head to the bottom to the lift, and ... nope, he's not there. I go inside to check my phone and 10 minutes later get a text... he's just gotten to the bottom.  - Turns out he'd hit a fence and fell down a cliff himself... let him get out of sight for 2 minutes... yikes.

    So he was pretty much wiped out and we called it a very early day.

    Watched the game in the evening, had some fun chat. All in all great re-connecting with him and his wife!

    Gratitude journal

    Good friends old and new.

    One amazing thing that happened/I did today

    Flying down the bumps under Goatseye.


    Ski day.

    Reading + taking notes


    What went well today:

    Fun with friends.

    What I could have done to make my day better:

    Had 2 beers. Coulda had 0 beers.

    Misc thoughts and plans:

    Plan of action for Sunday: **Deferred one week, aim is now to have a roughly 1/2 way mark check-in** Re-read old journal posts... time to reflect.


    Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

    Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 2x stronglifts 1xclimb

    Journal daily - So far, so good.

    Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 24 day streak - Back to feeling good.

    Monthly Goal

    Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

    Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

    NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

    3 Month Goal

    Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

    NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

    Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

    Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

    Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

  4. Simms

    You're doing great man. The program you looked up is very effective. As a teenager you'll see gains very quickly if you're consistent.



    Some people are going to offer shitty advice. DON'T DO DEADLIFTS is shitty advice. The end. Even if it's well intentioned, sometimes you're going to get advice that's out of date, or simply from people who heard something once and never bothered to look into it again. The "common knowledge" that you shouldn't lift when you're young is because of a study published in 1983 that's since been debunked 1000 different ways. Believing that growth plate injuries can cripple a person, or any other nonsense is akin to being an anti-vaxxer. My mom at age 59 did 55 deadlifts @ 57kg for crossfit workout 17.4 last week, then she did a ton of other shit! I deadlift every week as part of my committment to the 90 day detox. Feels fuckin' great.

    Use youtube to make sure your form is good. Go to your school gym and ask a coach to critique it, or a football guy, or anyone you know.  I know you're challenging yourself every day to talk to 3 people you wouldn't' normally talk to. Under the right conditions, talking to someone in the gym about form could make you a workout buddy at best, or at least get you some good tips on the spot and someone you can give a nod to as you go on about your day.

    You've been climbing. Your wrists will be strong. - You do your program 3 times a week, keep upping the weight a little bit each week. - You'll get strong. Hell you can see in my journal week 1 my deadlift was 66KG. - My latest was 89KG. - 23KG progress in 5 weeks by doing my program 3 times a week. It's very similar to yours. There is no evidence that weight lifting inhibits growth in teenagers. NONE whatsoever.

    Have a strong body means that if you decide to follow the course of becoming an engineer, when you sit at a desk for a lot of the day you won't get a sore back. You'll have more energy for your life outside work, and that typically translates into a better quality of life.

    Every time I see you post, you're trying to be better. It's inspiring and it's great follow your journey man, it sucks getting discouraged sometimes, don't let the haters bring you down. Hope you got a good sleep and and back to kicking ass tomorrow.


  5. Orior

    Hello everyone, first off I'd just like to apologise for any formatting errors, literally first time posting anything like this.

    Into the nitty and gritty; I'm 25 years old and have been playing video games since I was 5 years old. My father brought home a NES one day for us kids, funnily enough I remember my mother saying along the lines of "why'd you buy this, they'll get addicted." Oddly enough at the time she was not wrong, I played every day after finishing my homework and this progressed well into high school. I must add in I did have ears that stuck out a lot, so I was constantly harassed and bullied about it. This led to escaping reality through video games, a common behavior I believe amongst many of us. Anyway through high school a group of friends began playing Runescape and WoW to which no surprise I eventually got hooked into for the various dynamics which Cam states are in video games. I somehow managed to maintain a somewhat normal social life but school grades tanked greatly. I had an operation for my ears which I thought would fix the problem of being harassed but the scars of that bullying remained and so did the gaming. It's odd because I didn't think I had a problem at that point, it just felt like a normal thing. This was compounded by the fact my parents are very passive and did not give any guidance or even object to me doing what I did. There was also a lot of issues at home which led me to further engrossing myself in games.

    University began (I scraped through somehow) and it actually became easier to deal with gaming since I was so busy, however when I got home from Uni or my part time job I would game until 2-3am and get up early for the next day. Let's just say it was a struggle maintaining that lifestyle. I had a girlfriend at the time also but due to my socially awkward nature growing up we eventually broke up, and that's where it got bad. By this time I stopped playing WoW and began playing League. I played ranked as I wanted to be known as a good player and achieving a high level, in retrospect for self esteem and self worth issues due to the break up. Looking back I had not learnt anything about coping mechanisms and gaming was the only source for burying problems. This continued for a number of years and my grades at uni suffered a lot, I was handing in assignments late, wasn't attending classes and sleeping / eating poorly. I was active in  work, sport and gym at this time too, maybe these activities saved me from full blown addiction. During this time I started Nofap and didn't game for 3 months, it was the happiest I had ever felt in my life and now I am aiming for that state plus more. I got another girlfriend and the gaming came back due to boredom and problems there, but that is over now and I am 100% committed to quitting gaming and nofap. I am into self development and learning and have been since the first girlfriend, I have developed my character a lot within that time frame. However I feel like I am so close to breaking out from everything and achieving something great but I need to remove the crutch of gaming and then I believe I'll be ready for the next set of challenges.

    Thanks for reading, I appreciate it

  6. SuperSaiyanGod

    Tomorrow I'm gonna call my dad and tell him everything. Or at least talk around the subject for a while. But I'll do at least something. This is getting out of hand. My productivity is almost zero, I can't get around to doing anything. I can't stop eating junk food even for one day. I weasel out of every project that isn't a strict necessity. I have to get some help or it will only get worse.

    I hope he tells me he'll stop supporting me if I don't abstain. He told me it only took him two tries which were years apart to stop drinking. And I think he's been a little hostile toward people who "can't choose what they want to do with their lives", at least I heard one such conversation several years ago. If it comes to that, I'll have no choice but to stop.

    I'm gonna call tomorrow after I get back home from the lecture, it should be at about 7:30pm. If I don't at least call and talk around the topic for a while, or don't report on it by the end of tomorrow, I want you guys to be brutal with me.

    I already had one such conversation, it was with my ex-girlfriend. It went well. I have to think of that tomorrow.

  7. none239

    Day 67

    Did a lot more research and I'm very close to coming up with a solid business plan. I'm feeling pretty proud.

    I realized that I may not be able to go back into gaming, even in moderation, since this would take critical time away from the business.


    1 person likes this
  8. Revolutionary Thinker

    So Cam since you dropped out of the education system I think that the work I'm doing will be relevant to you and gamers in general who are looking for more meaning in their lives. I feel like the biggest problem that I had with school was the lack of guidance. At least in a video game their is a tutorial on how to play the game and you actual feel like you are productive when you beat a level or boss etc. although when I compared it with the school system and how it introduces us to a life outside of school it wasn't so clear. Basically the school system is a tutorial to prepare you for living your life and having a successful one but, I quite honestly think it does a terrible job. In games you know that you have to complete a task to get what you were going toward on the other hand in the job market it's a gamble. It's a gamble because you could send out literally a hundred resumes and only hear back from one job and that one job you hear back from you get an interview and they might not even hire you. After University though I did manage to get a job but, it was a job that didn't feed my soul or passion whatever you want to call it and I ended up quitting and working on the YouTube channel that I started. One thing I noticed is that there is hardly any bridge connecting the academic world with the career world and for a lot of young people out their it's either sink or swim which I think is terrible. That's why I want to get millennials (or anyone else feeling lost in this new economy) together and talk about these issues and what we can do about them. How to find a sense of purpose outside of the video games that we play that makes us feel that we are actually accomplishing something with our lives. So I invite you to take a look at my blog http://bakshandehariel.wixsite.com/website and a look at my YouTube page https://www.youtube.com/revolutionarythinking hopefully we can all support each other to reach our potential and I think I have the leadership skills with a community like this to help people out and open up a dialogue. 

  9. Schwing

    I don't even know right now. At least in video games there was no big question. You just played and dreamed no bigger than the screen. Nothing meant anything and anything meant nothing. Why does anything I do even mean to me? What do I even believe in? Who do I want to be? I'm sick of asking questions with no answer. Everything is instant gratification when you keep changing everything up to feel better. That's life isn't it? Making shit up so you can feel better about yourself. What does it even fucking mean to be alive. If it doesn't matter where I'm going then why do I give myself direction at all. I'm sick of being a tessellation of hobbies and interests. Is that all I am? Do I even have a purpose other than to do dumb shit? Sometimes I wish I could believe in a god, or politics, or just helping other people. Every time I try I am just confronted by a mass of contradiction. Do I truly believe in nothing? Fuck this. I'm going to bed.

  10. SuperSaiyanGod

    During the last few days any attempt at change ended after a few hours most, even though I wanted to work this weekend because I have quite a few projects. But I didn't do anything and I'm only starting work right now, at 11pm on Sunday.

  11. SpiNips


    Today has been a nice day. I've rested, contemplated my further studies and worked. I feel like I need to take it a bit easier now just to make sure I'm able to heal from the stress and work I did during the finals. The best moment of today was having a good call with my Uncle Paul.

    I've been pondering the choice between universities. Today I got awesome advice from two person I regard very successful. It wasn't what I first expected to hear but in the end it made a sense and I feel like I'm better off doing my choices now.

    But for now resting is the best choice. Good Night, Sleep Tight!

    Today I'm grateful for:

    • Finals, they were a good motivator to study
    • My Nishiki Bicycle has been serving me well
    • Being positively surprised after today's cooking
    • Hearing a workmate's story about his career
    • People to look up to
  12. KevinV1990

    For me reading was a great way to withstand the temptations of playing videogames. Now reading has become a real hobby, and I try to read many different books.

    Bacause I know that many people start to read when they stop gaming, I thought it is fun to talk about the last book you read, and recommend it (or not) to other readers. Maybe you can give other people an idea of what to read next.


    The last book I read, was Casino Royale by Ian Fleming. This is the first James Bond book, the one which the first Daniel Craig movie is based off. It is nice a nice thing to read, how well the movie stayed true to the book, the movie only has been adjusted to the 21st century.

    The book starts off slowly, but after the first baccarat game, the story got so intense, which made me not want to put the book away. A must read for everyone!

  13. Hitaru

    I mostly just hope you aren't still in the kind of limbo you were previously.

    Somewhat, sometimes. 


    "I lost all my momentum", it's a phrase I'm sick of saying. I relapsed on NoFap, I'm slacking in my commitment to the Beyond group when I was most illusioned and motivated, I've been failing on my habits and eating poorly, no one in my closest circles will support my decision to try the military and I've been feeling lost and alone for the most part. 

    I also entered a relationship with a man.

    Wait, what?

    Yeah... somehow, some complete idiot I met while doing a test run on Tinder decided that I was charming to his eyes and I had no choice but reciprocate; very intensely.

    It wasn't something planned in any sort, and "burdening" myself with a serious relationship was certainly not in my short-term goal list. But I was feeling lonely nonetheless so I downloaded said application everyone was talking about and gave it some swipes, for science and whatever else might develop, expecting some cordial fling or, much more probably, nothing at all. A failed 150 km radius search for women was about to confirm my suspicions until, after a whole week, embarrassed but hurt in my ego, I decided to take the leap and try the men's section. My hometown being a bit isolated, 20 km. would do.

    Of course it blew my mind. Matches were raining down on me and I was completely overwhelmed. Believe me, I didn't swipe right more than 10 people and got 7 matches, all really interesting people (at first glance at least), and all my preconceptions about myself suddenly shattered. I was so used, all of my short life, to get kicked, patronized, and being considered a plain weirdo by the generality of the female gender. Always taking things for granted and treating people as if they were sparing lives or giving audiences in a throne room. Here, they won't even fill out their profiles. And they all looked the same.

    With men, I didn't have any kind of experience, no one ever hit on me, but again I was also told that I didn't give out the "vibes" or did publicize my liking for them broadly, so that was to be expected. I was simply busy trying to be friends with anyone in my ultimate very own DIY asexual experience. Too straight for guys, too homo or "unmanly" for girls, and a bit weird to boot. Or so I thought. Once I dared to put on myself a big rainbow signal, figuratively, everything changed. And amidst all this confusion, I met him.

    I will spare you the more sugary details but we connected immediately. It's funny. He's been what I would call much more successful than me, having finished a really hard career and leading a straightforward life so far, and yet we seem to share some elemental fears on what to expect next. And a shared fear of intimacy as well. Whatever worry I have, he understands perfectly and has always the right, most loving and supportive answer. And whatever problem he might be facing, I somehow happen to know the ideal reaction, don't even ask me how I manage to pull off such empathy. With him, it just works. With him, I'm not a mere robot, and that's much more than I could ever say about myself. So of course, I had to go an fall for said idiot since he almost seems blessed with an unnatural knowledge of my inner workings and what makes me tick emotionally when the time calls for it. So, I'm young, healthy, studying (sometimes -_-) and in love.

    And of course, it's happening. The more I'm getting closer to having a normal life, the more resistance my body is putting. Despair can't work without hope. All this improvement is but a slim speck of hope necessary in order to smite me, utterly and definitely. That's what some that twisted part of me wants to think. But I will have the last laugh, oh yes. Despair and pride are an explosive combination. 

    2 people like this
  14. destoroyah

    • Came home worked out. Tried to lift 10kg each on dumbbells! Fuck my life. never trying that again.


    What kind of movement are you doing that the 10kg dumbbells are giving you trouble with? I feel like you should be able to handle the squat, stiff legged deads, lying press, and bent over rows with that weight.

    Lying flies, overhead press, lateral raise, bicep curls, lying tricep extensions, and the abdominal crunches are going to be killer at that weight. I've trained for years on and off and still really only use 5kg for flies, raises, and extensions.   You can work the overhead press and curls up, but some of those other movements just have too much physics working against you. =p

    I tried a squat but I couldn't support the weights with my hands properly and they curled inwards. Maybe bad positioning? I'll try again tonight and let you know.

    Ya bum! You can't jump in like this. Keep it simple and train with like 3-5kgs (I'm talking about using 2 dumbbells) max the first months (go for repetition). Except on bench press and flies (10kg+ ok, because here you are laying on your back and abs+back aren't that much required and chest is a very "hungry" muscle)

    It's just about form in the beginning. Just use the bars or very light weight. Use a mirror to check form.

    Bent over back stuff: Just the bars and no weight – or very very little. (You will damage yourself permanently otherwise!!)

    Squats need abs and legs trained! With short handles: leave them hanging on the sides. With big handle bar: rest it on your shoulders. Wrists can't curl in this exercise?

    (keep your back straight at all times and your abs under tension. 90° leg bent for starters – more is desirable, do more than 90° without weights only though, at first. also, shift your butt, don't let your knees go past the tip of your toes when looking from above. look ahead and keep a highly masculine facial expression. Training without a shirt also helps, so does thrash metal and queer pants. Refer to sexy German model)


    Also wrists are a big problem in handling heavy weights. Be careful and maybe get wristwraps. Do stupid pushups and shit.

    No heavy weights. Max repetition the first few months. Also you are only 17? Your body is not ready yet for stupid heavy lifting. Train core stuff. Pushups and situps, planks, squats – some girly yoga stretching. you can't have done enough yet!! I trained like 6 months (daily jogging at 2,5-5km and abs/back + stretching) before I even touched a dumbbell (I was very slow and careful, yea, but I know what I'm talking about. I started at age 27 and had never done sports before, besides school)


  15. destoroyah

    There is no winner in compromise, but it's so exhausting. I hate it.

    I know a day on YouTube sucks, but I'm spending my second day at the computer now, and I'm kind of glad to. I mean, I know I should do stuff, but I can't be bothered. Maybe you sometimes need it that way? There is a slim margin between self torture and discipline that is constructive. Surely, we're unable to ever tell the difference, but telling yourself "I must do this and that" doesn't help... It's thinking about the good stuff that gets me to do good things. I do sports not because "I must!" but because I know I feel better afterwards. Because I wanna punch someone in the face.

    So uh... maybe don't see "stopping Internet surfing" but see what gains you have from it. I know that's hard because you might lack other "good experiences", perspective, I am questing for that myself. Staring at the ground all day don't help much, but that's gravity I guess. You can't always fight gravity, just sometimes. I'm rambling.

  16. KevinV1990

    March 26, 2017: 17 days without gaming

    • Finally! Spring has started, and the weather seems to get better every day.
    • I still don't feel any urges to start gaming again, even though I allowed myself to play games during the weekends. I rather write, or read books.
    • I do need to make some progress in finding a new job though. Even though I get to work more hours in the coming month, I really want to find something else. In the past, I really wanted to work in a gamestore or work at something game-related. It's weird how quickly I forgot about that. Now I would really like to work in a bookstore, at least until I write my own book, and become a bestselling author. ;)
    • There is only one problem, and that is that I'm sometimes lacking the energy to do stuff. Let's take yesterday: I started at working 5.30, and finished around 12.00. Enough time to do other stuff, but while I'm physically okay to do so, I am tired mentally. I really want to work on changing that, because I'm wasting time like this.
    • I am happy! :D
    1 person likes this
  17. destoroyah

    ENTRY #34 - DAY XX:


    "The Fly" – if you look closely you can see that I wrote swear words in there, maybe this way I can pack my anger somewhere.
    (In this specific piece the big strong fast as fuck invincible fly, which looks like a roach, rushes out from the field to get the drop on its victim and chop its fukn head off.


    (I somehow stopped counting days – counting suxx!)

  18. Schwing

    I really like your journal layout Schwing, very smart way to break down the end game into a lot of daily goals and plans. Do you mind if I copy it for my journal?

    Thanks! Go for it.

  19. destoroyah

    Does this mean more art soon?

    Haha. I ordered some colored pencils. Scanning all that old stuff itched me to do some non-digital drawing again but I also am currently tinkering with coloring some of it. Also I haven't uploaded the 10+ comic pages yet, that I have laying around for 10 years. I want to color them too – do them justice. One step at a time, but yea, I'm incited for continuing old pieces and creating new!

  20. Granitwelle

    Chapter 2: Misty Mountain Trail (Day 30-60)


    霧深, the “misty mountain trail”, shall be the motif for the second month of the journey. The sublime eeriness of fog and its property of blurring vision should reflect doubt and uncertainty that is an integral part of our journey.

    The wanderer has left the flat and winding road of life, took a detour at a junction and now meanders towards a large mountain, slowly but resolutely. The trail leads uphill and the wanderer eventually reaches a lush forest with a verdant canopy. Compared to the flat road, this path is harder to navigate as loose roots and massive stone plates are scattered all across the path. Nonetheless, the wanderer presses on steadily uphill.

    Eventually, a thick, enshrouding fog impairs his vision and he needs to rest for a while and scan the environment in order to find his bearings. A looming shadow in the distance. Crippled woodwork and dead trees beneath the road. He shudders briefly, but then smiles. He sees the bright sunlight through both the thick fog as well as the verdant canopy. The path leads uphill, this is all he needs to know as he marches on, anticipating the joy of reaching the peak and beholding the stunning panorama from the top.

    The way is the goal. Fear and doubt shall not stop me.


    Journal Day #13// Days without gaming Day 31// Monk-Mode Day 2                                                                                         Sunday, 26/03/2017

    Gratitude journal

    - my family, my dog

    - Yoshida Brothers (Shamisen music)

    Workout/run: - (caught a cold and had to take a break for two days)

    Meditation: entire cycle

    Daily affirmation: Alright, month two already. Bring it on!

    Reading:  Nicolo Macchiavelli - Il Principe

    Weekly Goal(s): serious progress on thesis, less complaining,  not met, had to work on other assignments which were more pressing

    Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis done, will rework thesis concept
    be more active during the second month (day 30-60), ace an exam at the end of the month, thesis

    3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

    One amazing thing that happened/I did today: worked on case study

    What went well today: work

    What I could have done to make my day better: wake up earlier, be less doubtful

    What I will do differently tomorrow: work more